I Will Be the Greatest Knight

The Commander wanted to dismiss the question as merely needing to know the goings on of his knighthood, but the very truth was that he was curious. It was a burning curiosity to know whether or not there was more to Irene and Felix's teasing—perhaps a jealousy he couldn't quell until he knew the truth.

It wasn't as if he wanted Irene for himself; he simply wanted to know.

And then what? The Commander wondered. What would he do if they truly were together?

He would end up doing what he did every single night, which was licking the wounds his once precious Princess had left behind. Perhaps the truth was that he merely wanted everyone around him to be as miserable and alone as he was. Would he only be satisfied if that were the case?

The Commander watched as a variety of emotions flitted across Felix's face. Each time there was one that was somewhat horrified, he jumped to the conclusion that he had uncovered something they thought they were keeping well-hidden. No one could help that he accidentally eavesdropped on them while they were having a conversation they thought no one else could hear.

Felix began calmly, not taking offense at what the Commander had asked, but knowing he needed to nip it in the bud before it could grow into something uncontrollable. Considering he had faced accusations in the past that came directly from Irene's mother, he upheld his promise to protect her honor, the same way that Irene promised she would protect his.

"I assure you, Commander, there is nothing going on between me and my fellow knight," he responded. "Please believe me. Whether it was an accusation you've heard in passing or something misconstrued, I swear with all my honor that Irene is no more than my greatest friend. For years, I thought she was my brother, only to look back and realize I had a sister instead."

Commander Henry felt disappointed in himself when relief initially washed over him. It then confirmed that everyone there was just as alone as he was. Perhaps then he had more in common with these knights than he expected.

"You're right," the Commander relented. "I did hear something that it seems I misinterpreted on my own. I merely wanted to be informed in case it came up one day and I was caught off guard."

"Then I am glad we got ahead of it," Felix admitted. "You are not the first to make that assumption, but I assure you that it will never wind up that way. She is too important to me in other ways. After all, she was at my side when I lost the woman I consider the love of my life and pulled me from what felt like hell. Just as I was there for her when her best friend, and one of our greatest apprentices, was taken from us in one of the largest battles during the war."

"I understand now," Commander Henry responded.

Even though they were of similar ages, between the two of them, they had gone through so much in their only two decades on the earth. That was a point that they could certainly relate to each other.

They had a few documents between them at the table, and their focus seemed to go to that momentarily, but Felix could tell that the Commander wasn't quite finished with the conversation; however, he was also too polite a person to ask directly. He certainly wouldn't ask two direct questions in one sitting after clearing the air about Felix and Irene's relationship.

"Would you like me to tell you the story, Commander?" Felix asked. "I would like us to know one another on a more personal basis. You've shared quite a lot with me, I feel it's right to do the same."

The Commander hoped he wasn't so obvious, but he had noticed his guard had been coming down a lot more recently around Felix. He also wanted to have a more comfortable relationship with his second in command. If it could be more casual, perhaps he would feel less like an outsider.

"Only if it doesn't reopen old wounds," Commander Henry admitted. "I would like to know my knights a lot better, but not at the expense of the peace that you have likely found as you've healed."

Felix laughed incredulously, and he lightly sighed.

"This is a wound that will never heal, I'm afraid," Felix admitted. "There isn't a day when I'm not hurting because of Agnes."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Commander responded.

Felix shrugged and, as he began to speak, he pulled a red notebook from one of his pockets and held onto it as he recounted the story.

"I have always lived in the Duke's Tower after my family was killed by goblins. I know how monotonous things can be here," he explained. "Nothing interesting happened outside of having to deal with monsters. When there was an announcement that more maids had been hired, and there was one around my age, I couldn't help but take a look for myself. And, Commander, Agnes was beautiful. I felt my heart race for the first time when she grinned at me. At first, she was too young to stay in the Duke's Tower for too long at a time, but by the time she was allowed to, I found myself clinging to her whenever it was convenient. I pretended no one could see in this little world I created. I think she liked to pretend the same because we got up to a lot of obvious trouble within these walls."

However, Felix's expression became darker. His throat felt tight.

The Commander could only be understanding as a heavy pause struck the mood. He wished he hadn't asked because he had never seen Felix so moved by something.

"It was after this tower was sieged that we lost track of a lot of people," Felix explained. "We were sent to all corners of the duchy as we sought mages, other knights, really any help we could get at that point. What I didn't know was that while we were trying to save the duchy, the goblins in this place were taking away my future. I found her with a sword through her chest. Rusty… Dull. Christ, it must have hurt so badly. In death, I found out she thought of me. This notebook was in her hands with all of the notes and flowers I gave her. All the ones she gave to me, I kept in my room. I've been able to piece together which pages she ripped out to respond to my notes. I open this book every day, and it never feels like it hurts any less."

"Felix…" the Commander trailed off, using only the other man's name, which was a rare occurrence. "What you two had was beautiful. How lucky she was to know love until her last breath."

And there the Commander sat, constantly agonizing over a woman who was supposed to love him, yet decided to shut him out. He felt like he was hurting all the time, but now that he had heard Felix's story, he realized what true pain was. He hadn't even experienced anything close to that in his life.

"I appreciate it," Felix responded. The smile he then offered was shaky. "I haven't talked about her in a long, long time."

"Feel free to talk about her whenever you feel like it," the young Duke insisted. "This is both the happiest and saddest I think I've ever seen you, while you talk about the highs and lows of her."

"That's because she's worth every good and bad feeling I've ever had," Felix admitted. "I appreciate you lending me an ear. Feel free to do the same to me if you ever get the urge."

Henry smiled at that. He couldn't talk about how insignificant his sadness felt because the Princess had decided to ignore him. It was certainly pathetic to even try to complain.

That led them both to a bit more comfort with one another. The door of communication had been opened, and it felt like it would lead to a lot more.

That day, they had been discussing going into the duchy to properly introduce the Duke to all of the people and assist with any requests the average person had. They would be leaving in a couple of days, but there was one person they needed to talk to before they could proceed...

"Would you meet me and Felix in my study after you've finished your breakfast?" the Commander asked Irene just after practice in the morning.

The knight looked between Felix and the Commander with raised eyebrows, wondering if it was anything serious. The expressions they both wore didn't seem to say anything such as that, so she merely nodded.

"I will be there shortly," she assured them.

Irene's day was supposed to consist of patrolling the foothills, but it seemed that her plans had changed, which she didn't really mind. If there was something she could do for the two greatest in her knighthood, she would eagerly help them.

It was all under the guise of trying to make the Commander more comfortable in Chemois, after all.