I was Thrown into an Unfamiliar Manga

After a long internal debate, I finally asked,
“…Is there any chance I could skip this…?”

“I’m afraid not. It’s a rule of our café,”
The black-haired maid standing beside me said that with a sweet smile.
‘I’m gonna lose it.’

Smiling on the outside while under silent siege from mounting pressure, I slowly turned my head forward again.
“Pffft.”
Across the table, Sasha was covering her mouth with one hand, clearly trying to suppress her laughter.

Well, yeah. The image of a 180-centimeter musclehead making a heart with his hands and saying “moe moe kyun” is objectively hilarious.
The problem is, I’m the one doing it.
After a moment of agonizing indecision, I made up my mind. Better to just get it over with and eat.

I figured doing it now—when fewer people were watching—was better for my mental health.
I’d resolved myself, but when the moment came to actually say the words, my mouth just wouldn’t open.
“Sss… haa…”

I let out a deep breath to relax my tense body, and finally forced out the line.
“…Moe moe kyun.”
Khhhhhhaaaagh!

“You may begin your meal now, Master,”
Only then did the maid, finally satisfied, step back.
Wallowing in the real-time creation of yet another dark memory, I picked up my spoon and lifted a bite of omurice with difficulty—just as the maid picked up the other plate from her cart and placed it in front of Sasha, who was still laughing.

Thunk!
“Ah.”
Sasha’s expression paled, as if she’d only just realized she’d thoughtlessly ordered the same menu as me.
She shook her head desperately, eyes begging for mercy—but the maid calmly sliced the omelet with a knife, formed a heart with her hands, and said the dreaded words without hesitation.

“Now, please repeat after me~ Make it tasty~ Make it tasty~ Moe moe kyun♥”
“KYAAAAAAAAAA!!”
Honestly, that one’s entirely on her.

***
Clink—clatter—
“Nothing happened.”

“…Got it.”
Both of us, bearing fresh wounds from real-time dark history creation, avoided eye contact as we quietly ate our omurice and came to a silent mutual agreement.
Cat maid Hyoneko-san was still on stage, passionately belting out an anime song.

When the hell is that going to end?
Anyway, after all that emotional trauma, the omurice was surprisingly good.
Usually, food at maid cafés is known for being expensive and bland, but this place clearly had someone in the kitchen who could actually cook.

The tonkotsu ramen I ate earlier had long since been digested in the heat of battle, so I cleaned my plate down to the last grain of rice.
Feeling just the slightest tinge of regret as I filled up, I chased it down with some orange juice—and just then, Hyoneko-san came jogging over, wiping sweat from her brow.
“Master! How was Hyoneko’s live, nya!”

“Uh… it was good.”
Whether it was the trauma still lingering from earlier or what, Sasha gave a lifeless response while clapping.
Thankfully, the one it was directed at didn’t seem to notice.

“Wow~ I don’t know how you knew on your first visit that Hyoneko loves to sing, but thank you so much for selecting me, nya! I got to sing to my heart’s content, nya!”
Hyoneko-san was clearly still high on the energy of her performance.
And yet, the fact that she still remembered to stick “nya” on every sentence proved just how much of a pro she really was.

Without being prompted, she started chattering away about her taste in music and favorite artists, only to suddenly notice our empty plates and cups. Muttering, “Oh, oh no, silly me, nya,” she gathered the tableware and cleared it away.
Then she came back carrying a tray with a deck of playing cards and a pair of cat-ear headbands.
“Normally, playing together costs 1000 yen per 10 minutes, but I got special permission from the manager to offer it for free today, nya!”

Saying that, she expertly shuffled the cards, dealt 17 to herself, and gave each of us 18.
It looked like she was setting up a game of Old Maid.
If you had a matching number or suit in your hand, you discarded it to the center.

Once everyone’s hand had only unmatched cards left, the game began.
“Unyanyan~”
Hyoneko let out an exaggerated cat-noise as she picked a card from my hand.

Apparently she had a match, because she immediately threw away two cards.
Spade 8 and Diamond 8.
My turn.

I reached toward the row of eight cards Sasha was holding, grabbing the one just to the side of the most prominent one.
“……”
You’ve got to be kidding me. The Joker already?

I kept my face blank and quietly added it to my hand.
Next, Sasha drew from Hyoneko-san’s hand and discarded a pair—Spade 3 and Clover 3.
Back to Hyoneko’s turn.

“By the way, the loser gets a punishment, nya.”
She said that with a mysterious smile as she drew a card from my hand—and discarded nothing.
…I should’ve realized then.

That something was very wrong.
***
“No way…”

After about fifteen minutes of playing Old Maid, the loser was me.
Whether it was just «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» incredible luck or something else, Sasha dumped all her cards first.
Then Hyoneko-san, in a one-on-one showdown with me, somehow avoided the Joker every time as if she could see through the cards.

As a result, I ended up holding the Joker from start to finish, losing by default, and trembling with shame.
Who would’ve thought me—the guy who lives and breathes tabletop games—would lose without even putting up a decent fight?
“…Just one more. One more round.”

I said that while gathering the scattered cards on the table, but before we could start, Hyoneko-san picked up the headband on the tray.
“The loser has to wear this kitty ear headband until the next game ends, nya~ And finish every sentence with a cat meow, nya!”
Rising slightly on her toes, she plopped the headband onto my head, then smiled and said,

“Say something. Anything, nya!”
“…Hurry up and start the next game already.”
“W-wait, it’s supposed to be a cat meow, but something about it feels totally different, nya!”

Crack!
That’s it. I’m not stopping until I win.
Anything else I can tolerate—but losing at a card game? Never.

***
“Take care, Master!”
Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling!

“Ah~ That was fun~”
Sasha stretched with a satisfied grin.
We left the maid café more than an hour later.

In the end, I didn’t win a single round, so I spent the entire hour wearing cat ears and ending my sentences with “nya.”
If the café didn’t have a strict two-hour table limit, I would’ve kept going until I finally beat her.
In hindsight, I realize I did something extremely embarrassing… but card games are serious business to me. I had no choice.

Anyway, it was already 5 p.m.
Most shops in Akihabara would start winding down around this time, so there wasn’t really anywhere else to visit.
It was too early for dinner, and we’d already eaten omurice inside, so at best we could grab a snack.

“So what now? There’s about two hours left until the time you asked for.”
When I asked that, Sasha turned her head with a little “Hm?” and then let out an “Ahh~.”
“Oh, right. I asked you to stay with me until 7, didn’t I?”

“You forgot what you said?”
“No no, I just meant… I based it on when the sun would go down.”
Waving her hand as if brushing it off, Sasha looked up at me and asked,

“Is there a park nearby? I’ve been sitting for so long, I feel stiff. I’d like to walk a little.”
“…There’s one nearby. Follow me.”
I led Sasha to Ueno Park, not far from Akihabara.

If you go by subway, it’s just one station away, so I’d occasionally walked there myself for exercise.
Maybe because it was getting close to evening, but the park was pretty empty.
Walking down a quiet path with Sasha beside me, I asked,

“So? Did you enjoy your Akihabara tour today?”
Sasha glanced sideways at me, then gave a small nod.
“Thanks to you.”

Truthfully, I’d wanted to show her more places… but we ran out of time.
We ended up spending two whole hours in the maid café, even though I’d thought we’d just grab tea and go.
Then, walking beside me with her hands behind her back, Sasha suddenly stopped and said,

“There’s something I need to confess.”
I turned my head in confusion.
With a serious look, Sasha looked up at me and said,

“Those guys you fought earlier in the street? They were all bodyguards my dad hired.”
“…What?”
The unexpected revelation short-circuited my brain.

Biting her lip, Sasha bowed toward me.
“I’m sorry for lying from the start. I just wanted to sneak out of the hotel and see Japan since I finally came here… I didn’t expect things to spiral like this.”
Still bowed, she continued,

“So you can stop now. I’ll call the bodyguards and head back to the hotel. Really… thanks for everything today.”
Then she pulled a wad of cash from her handbag and stuffed it into my hand before running off toward Akihabara Station.
“H-Hey, wait!”

I stood there staring blankly at her small retreating back… then started running after her in a panic.
And that’s when it happened.
With a sudden gust of wind, a loud burst of laughter echoed from overhead.

“Fuhahahahahahaha!”
I looked up at the sky—and there it was.
A black helicopter hovering above Ueno Park.

Sasha, also looking up while running toward the station, froze and shouted in shock.
“Papa!”
And then—right at that moment—something black dropped from the helicopter toward the ground.

With no safety gear.
BAAAAAAM!
A huge shockwave burst out from the impact, kicking up a massive cloud of dust.

Out from the haze rose a muscular middle-aged man in a leopard-print coat, grinning ferociously.
“…Finally found you.”