I was reborn-ish into a world where everyone have useless-kinda-skills

Gustavus kept his face as stony as he could manage, but the worry behind his eyes flickered like candlelight. "So, what’s your grand plan?" he asked, with the grim tone of a man who already knew the answer wouldn’t be comforting.

Niles grinned, oblivious to the gravity of the situation. "It’s going to involve a lot of luck... and you guys, my best friends."

Roy cut in before Gustavus could respond, the exasperation sharp in his voice. "You're out of luck, then. We’re not your friends. We’ve known each other for about an hour since the truck."

"Ah, come on!" Niles protested, his grin faltering. "We’re all from Earth, that makes us—"

"Planet buddies?" Roy interrupted, his patience thin as a wire. "Any other plan? One that doesn’t involve imaginary friendships?"

Niles’s face lit up as if he'd struck gold. "Okay, last plan. I’ll use my secret technique… the ‘Puppy Eyes Attack,’ and defeat the king with my overwhelming cuteness."

He then gave them his best doe-eyed, smoochy-faced look, lips puckered like a child begging for candy.

Roy didn’t even blink. "You’re dead."

"Yup, totally dead," Gustavus agreed with a smirk that barely touched his eyes.

Roy shook his head, almost pitying him. "I can’t even say it was nice knowing you."

Gustavus joined in, not missing a beat. "If you get reincarnated, let’s hope it’s as someone with at least half a brain."

Niles, looking wounded in his very soul, sputtered, "But guys!"

Aurelia chuckled softly at the banter, her laugh light but with an edge of sadness. She stepped forward and began explaining the three duels to Roy and Gustavus: the straight battle, the baking contest, and the hand-grip duel. Her voice wavered slightly, but the absurdity of the situation kept her grounded in the moment.

“Baking contest?" Gustavus asked, frowning, but only slightly bothered by the absurdity of it all. "What are you gonna make?"

"Scones," Niles said, dead serious. "I’ll serve them with butter and cheese. It’s gonna be lit."

Gustavus stared at him for a moment, processing. "Huh," he muttered, scratching his chin. "Then maybe there’s a way to win after all."

Roy’s temper finally snapped. "How's he gonna bake anything when he's dead after the first duel? And why are we even discussing this?"

Before any of them could answer, several servants were bustling in the background, setting up ovens and preparing the area for the upcoming duel as if this were just another day at court.

One of the assistants, hesitant and unsure whether the trio was having a serious discussion or playing out their own farce, approached cautiously. "Excuse me, Sir Roy, Sir Gustavus, Sir Niles," he began, his voice as tentative as his steps. "Are you ready to display your skills?"

Roy glanced at Niles and Gustavus before answering for all of them, with a wave of his hand. "Lead the way."

The assistant led them to the back of the training center where a ragged scarecrow dummy dressed in battered armor stood waiting like some sad sentinel of a forgotten battlefield. The assistant gestured towards it. "I’d like to see your skill, Sir Roy. Hit the target with whatever technique you possess."

Roy grinned, the kind of grin that only shows when someone’s been waiting for their moment. "Finally, my time to shine."

He muttered under his breath, “Status open,” glancing at the invisible panel that only he could see. His fingers moved in the air, pushing an unseen button.

He cracked his knuckles, his grin widening. "Okay, ready for this?"

With a snap of his fingers, Roy shouted, "Bombardment!"

Above them, the air split open like the sky itself had been torn apart. A portal, jagged like a wound, appeared and from it descended a cannon, massive and ancient, brimming with energy that thrummed ominously. It hung there in the air, vibrating, as if impatient to unleash its fury.

The assistant took a step back, eyes wide with a mixture of awe and fear. Roy just smiled, his chest puffed out with pride.

The cannon Roy summoned seemed to hum with an almost sentient energy, casting a deep shadow over the training grounds. Its barrel gleamed in the low light, and the sheer size of it made even the seasoned assistant tremble a bit.

“Impressive,” Gustavus muttered under his breath. Even Roy, as cocky as he was, seemed surprised at the spectacle he'd conjured.

Niles leaned over to Aurelia, whispering in her ear, “Do you think he knows how to control that thing?”

Aurelia smirked. “He better.”

Roy raised his hand, ready to give the command that would launch the attack. He straightened his posture, looking every bit the part of a man in command of his power. “Prepare to witness greatness, gentlemen,” he declared, savoring the moment.

But just as he was about to fire, the cannon gave a shudder—an ominous, low rumble that didn’t sound like it was entirely under Roy’s control. His cocky grin faltered for a split second.

“Uh, Roy…?” Niles said, taking a cautious step back.

“Relax, I got this,” Roy snapped, though the growing concern in his eyes told a different story.

Before Roy could give the final command, the cannon jerked violently, swinging to the right and locking its aim on something far beyond the dummy—a distant tower that was part of the fortress wall.

“Roy, wait!” Gustavus shouted.

But it was too late.

“BOMBAR—!” Roy began, and the cannon cut him off, firing with a deafening roar.

A massive, blinding blast of energy erupted from the cannon’s barrel, hurtling through the air at breakneck speed—completely missing the target dummy. Instead, the blast arced over the training grounds and collided with the tower. The sound of the explosion was thunderous, and chunks of stone flew through the air as part of the tower crumbled from the impact.

Dust and debris rained down, and the tower's bell gave one last forlorn ring before crashing to the ground.

Roy stood frozen, his mouth hanging open in horror. “Oh… no.”

The assistant gasped, staring wide-eyed at the smoking remains of the once-proud tower. “The... the king's tower!”

Niles, who had wisely ducked behind a bench when the cannon fired, peeked over the edge. “Wow... I didn’t think you’d destroy the king’s actual castle.”

Gustavus shook his head in disbelief. “How did you miss the dummy by that much?!”

Roy, still in shock, muttered, “I don’t know. It was... supposed to be aimed right at the target…”

In the distance, alarm bells began to ring, and guards could be heard rushing toward the scene, shouting orders and trying to assess the damage. The assistant turned pale, his face a mask of panic. “This... this is very bad,” he mumbled, clearly dreading the king’s reaction.

Niles burst out laughing, unable to contain himself. “Dude, you didn’t just miss! You declared war on the king’s architecture!”

Roy finally snapped out of his daze, glaring at Niles. “Shut up! It was just... a miscalculation!”

Gustavus snorted. “A miscalculation? You blew up part of the fortress!”

Roy crossed his arms defensively, trying to regain some composure. “Well, at least it was a strong attack.”

Niles wiped away a tear of laughter. “Sure, if the goal was to take down a castle, then yeah, you nailed it!”

The assistant, still looking like he might faint, glanced nervously at the crumbling tower.

The scene shifted awkwardly as Roy stood there, frozen, feeling the weight of his colossal failure. His voice cracked as he tried to redeem himself, “My dear planet buddies…”

“Nope, not gonna happen,” Niles cut him off, not missing a beat.

“But guys,” Roy whined, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “Come on, we should have each other’s backs.”

The assistant, still standing dumbfounded, was too shocked to react. His face paled as he realized he might be partially responsible for this mess.

Before anyone could respond, soldiers hurried over, carrying a wounded man on a stretcher. His armor was crushed, and he looked barely alive. “Please, heal him!” one soldier exclaimed, urgency in his voice. “He was guarding the tower that was struck by the enemy’s surprise attack!”

All eyes turned to Gustavus, who had just witnessed the man’s agony. Panic filled his expression as he fumbled to open his status screen. “Status open,” he muttered, scanning it at a painfully slow pace.

“Hurry up!” one of the soldiers urged, his voice frantic.

“O-okay, I’ll try,” Gustavus stammered, his green hair falling into his eyes as he gathered his courage. He raised his hand, and with a shaky voice, shouted, “Healing!”

A soft green light enveloped the wounded soldier. “How do you feel?” Gustavus asked, his voice full of hopeful anticipation.

The soldier shifted slightly, his groans of pain easing. “Huh… not bad,” he mumbled. “The pain’s gone…”

The soldiers erupted into cheers. “Thank you, Sir Gustavus! You saved him!”

Gustavus smiled, puffing up with pride… until the soldier coughed violently, blood splattering the ground. His eyes glazed over as he died, a faint smile still on his lips.

One soldier quickly checked the man’s pulse and paled. “Sir Gustavus... I think he’s dead.”

Without breaking stride, Gustavus had already turned and walked away with unnerving calmness. “My work here is done,” he declared in a voice filled with self-satisfaction.

“But… you didn’t do anything,” one soldier muttered in disbelief.

“There was nothing more I could do,” Gustavus said solemnly, his back turned. “If you have further questions, ask my planet buddies over there,” he added with a casual wave, gesturing toward Niles and Roy.

The murmurs among the soldiers were not kind. “Is that guy really a summoned champion? Worst healer I’ve ever seen…”

The assistant, who had watched the entire scene unfold, looked like he was going to faint. He gazed at the destroyed tower, the dead soldier, and the chaos swirling around him. Speechless.

Niles placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You did your best,” he said, his voice full of mock solemnity. “But you really should take responsibility for this.”

The assistant blinked, confused. “Sir Niles… what do you mean?”

Niles sighed theatrically, shaking his head. “This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so eager to see our skills. You should’ve thought about safety first. But don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word with the king.”

Roy stepped in, placing a hand on the assistant’s other shoulder. “Yeah, don’t beat yourself up, buddy. You live and learn. But seriously, you gotta own up to this.”

The assistant, now on the verge of tears, stammered, “But… I can also be a planet buddy, right? Let’s help each other... please?”

Roy and Niles exchanged smirks, barely holding back their laughter at the assistant’s desperate attempt to cling to some sense of camaraderie.

Niles gave a half-serious nod. “We’ll see what we can do,” he said, patting the assistant’s shoulder while surveying the chaos they’d left behind.