I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

Doah would go drinking…?

At a party with other guys…?

The lecture had long since become background noise.

In my head, I could only think of Doah and a nameless hoobae sitting next to her.

I ended up yielding because Minji used her pushy way of speaking that was unique to popular kids, but internally, I was screaming.

Nooooo!

Kim Doah, don’t go! I said, don’t go!

But, even though I only did that because of the atmosphere, I was still the one who allowed her to go.

Even when she asked again to make sure I was completely okay with it, I told her it was okay, so it was hard for me to take my words back at that point.

So, I played it cool and let her go, but thinking about it again, it would be weird if I said no.

Still, I couldn’t help it, I hated what I hated…

Whatever, I’d just talk about it later with her.

Anyway, I wonder if she knew how I felt. Like, she seemed to be listening to the lecture diligently…

...Huh?

At that moment, the letters that Doah scribbled on her paper caught my eye.

She wrote them in a rather awkward place, so she wasn’t taking notes.

The letters were small, but they were big enough for me to read them.

[i wanna go home...]

[im hungryyy...]

[cant be bothered with the drinking party...]

It seemed like she was also filtering out the professor’s words.

As if scribbling those letters wasn’t enough, she drew a heart with a focused look.

It was neatly drawn, as if printed from a computer.

Because it seemed like she was going to add something on top, I kept watching her and I was right, she drew a very chubby-looking cat.

She even added lines on its face to make it look like it was blushing before nodding approvingly.

…Kim Doah, why did you look so proud of yourself?

She was cute though, so I let out a smile.

I tore off a piece of paper to pass it to her, just like what we used to do in grade school.

What should I write, hm?

[When will you go home?]

I carefully folded the paper and flicked it towards Doah, who glanced at me and before opening the note.

After reading everything, she grabbed a pen, wrote something, and returned the paper back to me.

[before 12?]

...Twelve? Twelve o’clock?

No! That was way too late!

They said they would start the party at seven, and you were telling me that you’d be drinking until twelve?!

I thought it would be ten at the latest, so after reading her note, I got a small heart attack.

[You’re drinking for 5 hours?]

I’ve hardly ever gone out for drinks and even if I did, being a lightweight, I’ve never stayed longer than two hours.

Five hours was just a catastrophically long time for drinking, at least from my perspective.

[do u want me to text u?]

Text…me…? Wait, was she trying to tell me that it could go on even longer??

I tore up the note in anxiety and came to a conclusion.

So, I took out my phone, opened up my contacts and searched for a certain someone’s name.

[Seo Yoonje]

I’d really rather not do this, but this was necessary.

While reaching my hand out to him seemed like a bad move, I had no intention of ever letting Doah go alone.

[Wanna get a drink tn?]

For the first time in my life, I invited him out for drinks.

* * *

“Ugh...I don’t wanna go...”

I said I would go, but as soon as I got home, my motivation to go out completely vanished.

The weather was cold and I had a lot to do.

I thought about telling them that something came up so I couldn’t go, but I had already done my makeup. In the end, I decided to just grab my things.

Right, I should at least text Oppa before leaving.

He didn’t seem too happy when I said I was going out for drinks.

If he had told me not to go, I would just stay at home, honestly.

As soon as I took out my phone, it vibrated.

Well, at least I didn’t need to call him, I guess. I swiped the screen with my thumb.

「Hello?」

「Hey, how’s it going?」

「Huh? Are you outside?」

Since there was no noise at all when we usually talked at home, I could tell right away.

The place where he was at sounded noisy, maybe it was a restaurant or a bar.

「Ah, since you said you were going out today, I made plans with my friend.」

「Which friend?」

I doubt he’d tell me, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

Oppa was the kind of person who’d watch streams alone during breaks, after all.

Was he going with his high school friend? Or a close classmate of his?

Now I got even more curious.

「Yoonje!」

「...Seo Yoonje oppa?」

At the unexpected name, I automatically furrowed my brows.

It would be better if he hung out with someone I didn’t know.

Yoonje oppa was a famous skirt-chaser in our department, so hearing that Oppa was hanging out with him made me feel a little anxious.

「Yeah!」

「Just the two of you?」

「Dunno, maybe more people will come.」

I instinctively wanted to ask if girls might come too, but that would be a little hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it?

Like, I would be going to a drinking party with guys I wasn’t even close with.

It would be pathetic of me to only pester Oppa about this.

「I just finished getting ready, I’m about to leave.」

「Don’t drink too much. It’d be nice if you could contact me in between.」

It felt nice hearing those words from Oppa.

Right. I could just go for a bit then come back quickly.

Since Oppa showed that he trusted me, I should also show that I trusted him.

「Okay. You have fun too, Oppa. And keep in touch.」

「Yeah, I’ll call again.」

I crumpled on my sneakers, buttoned up my coat, and stepped outside.

Brr...It was cold...

The pocha we promised to meet at was near the back of the school.

When I arrived and went inside, the people from our department had already occupied the middle table.

“Ah! Doah’s here!”

Minji got up from her seat and approached me.

“Sit here Doah!”

She pulled my arm and sat me down by the edge of the table, then poured some soju into my glass.

“Hey! You know latecomers need to match the tempo, right?”

“...Am I even that late?”

I was just five minutes late!

“Eh. Still, we already had a shot each, so you drink too.”

That was dumb, but whatever, one shot of soju was nothing.

So, I grabbed the glass and downed it in one go.

“Yuck. It’s gross.”

“You must be happy with your life these days, right, Doah?”

Sooin looked at me while smiling.

“Kya~ I’m so jealous! Dating Taemin oppa and all!”

“Hmm? What’s there to be jealous of?”

Feeling a bit embarrassed, I laughed awkwardly.

“Hey! You gotta tell us the story later, you know? Everyone’s all superrr curious.”

...What?

They wanted me to tell them about my love life.

Facing the unexpected predicament, my head felt like it was spinning.

No, like, even if they were curious…

I get it, if my friend got a super handsome boyfriend, I’d be curious too.

But, my relationship with Oppa was a bundle of secrets.

To go in depth about it, I’d need to reveal the fact that I was a virtual idol and that Oppa was an otaku obsessed with vtubers.

“Alright, since it seems everyone’s here, Hansu says he wants to say something!”

At the opposite table where the guys were all gathered around, the person in question with sad eyes raised his glass.

“Haa… Shit...”

As expected, even though the drinking party itself was lively, there was no way he’d feel good about going to the military.

“Ah! Whatever! Life fucking sucks! Cheers!!!”

The toast had a bunch of swear words mixed in, but it was understandable since he was being dragged to a place he didn’t want to go for a long time.

“Mm. So Doah! When are you going to tell us~?”

Minji used a greasy ahjusshi-like tone and wrapped her hand around my waist, making me gasp and move my butt to the side.

“Ugh! Geez! I’ll tell you later. Let me drink a bit first.”

I needed to come up with something first, then I’ll create a proper excuse with Oppa later.

He wouldn’t go around revealing my identity to his friends.

Having bought some time, I listened to them talk while earnestly thinking about how to smoothly pass it off as naturally as possible.

“Wow~ Everyone sure is in a good mood today.”

As time went on, the atmosphere grew even more lively.

I couldn’t even tell how much we had drunk.

It felt like each of us downed at least a bottle.

I could feel a slight buzz and a warm sensation on my cheeks when I touched them with my fingers.

“Hey, hey! Let’s play a drinking game! Drinking game! The star of the day wants to play a game!”

The guys were loudly screaming amongst themselves, then they all suggested playing a game together.

But… I was terrible at games.

Since I had barely played drinking games before, the probability of me being picked was high, so I could only make a gloomy face.

Ahh... I want to go home... Let me go home...

“Ah~ Hansu’s favorite random~ game! What game~ game~ start!”

Everyone enthusiastically rotated their arms and played the game.

And as always, my expectations turned into reality.

“Oh woww~ Doah’s a good drinker~”

I ended up drinking three shots of soju in a row, and got up from my seat, slightly staggering.

“Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom for a bit.”

This wasn’t enough to get me completely wasted.

But, I swear if I were to drink one more bottle, I’d be in big trouble.

It was about time for me to contact Oppa, so I took out my phone while waiting in line in front of the bathroom.

And I found out that he already texted me three times.

[Are you having fun?]

[Where are you rn?]

[No contact… huh...?]

Was he waiting for my text? How much time had passed anyway?

[20:37]

It had only been an hour and a half, though.

That was a weird time to complain about me not texting him.

Anyway, I should send him a reply quickly. The moment I started typing…

“Doah.”

A rather unfamiliar voice called out to me, but I knew whose voice it was.

I raised my head to look straight ahead. Why was he here, though?

“Huh? Why are you here Yoonje oppa?”

Wasn’t he hanging out with Taemin oppa? For some reason, he was standing in front of the bathroom at the pocha I was at.

“What do you mean why? Your boyfriend dragged me here, that’s why.”

...Taemin oppa did?

“Hey. Do something about your boyfriend.”

When I turned my body in Yoonje oppa’s direction, he flicked his chin towards the hall, deep in that corner.

My boyfriend, exuding an ominous aura, was fiercely munching on popcorn.

***

https://ko-fi.com/genesisforsaken