I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

“Hmm...”

In this silent apartment room, all I could hear was the sound of clicking.

At the moment, I was browsing a certain site to buy some games.

In the search bar, the word [horror] was displayed, the word I really wanted to avoid.

I found a thumbnail that didn’t look too scary, so I clicked on it.

“Eeek!”

No! Nooo!

I quickly turned the chair around and grabbed a pillow from the bed.

Maybe if I were to hold onto something it would make me feel a bit better…

How could the cover and the actual content be so different?!

I clicked on it because it looked okay, but a ghost with a twisted neck popped out on the page! It was crazy scary!

Seriously, I'll die if I see it again! I should close it!

Maybe I should familiarize myself with horror music first. Thinking as such, I calmed my breath and turned round.

I locked my gaze on the keyboard and spammed the shortcut to close the window. With that, the screen returned to show my other self.

The high-quality fanart background of idol Luka.

Sighing in relief, I rubbed my face with my hands.

Why did I say that back then?

[...Then will you stay with me, Oppa?]

I absolutely hated horror games.

Like, why did I have to pay to scare myself?

Even if the company said that they would pay for it, I still didn’t want to.

But, Oppa’s proposal to stay by my side all night felt sweetly tempting.

The fact that I had already experienced it once also played a big part.

He devotedly took care of me at the VR center that one time, you know…?

In the end, I succumbed to temptation and accepted his proposal.

I said I would consider playing a horror game as a promise to the viewers regarding the song’s performance.

Ah. Whatever.

Flopping back down on the bed, I picked up my phone.

Maybe I should just ask for recommendations instead of choosing the game myself.

I’d end up staying up all night long, unable to sleep, after going through the game trailers, even though it wasn’t even confirmed that I had to play the game to begin with.

Anyway, I should give that jerk, nasty of a Pink Army, boyfriend of mine, a call.

「Hello.」

「What’s up?」

「What are you doing, Oppa?」

「I’m working on the liberal arts assignment right now.」

「Are you busy?」

Ahh… Because I saw something bad for my heart, I wanted to see him…

But, hearing his serious voice, it was clear that he was focusing on something else, all my energy immediately dried up.

「Uh… A little, I guess?」

Ah. As expected.

「Okay.」

As I was about to hang up, he stopped me.

「Why? Is something wrong?」

「No, nothing! I was just looking up some horror games, then I thought of you, Oppa…」

「Really? Have you decided on what to play?」

His slightly dry voice instantly became energetic.

「No. I just scared myself looking at the thumbnails, so I gave up for now.」

「Really? So you haven’t decided yet?」

「Yes.」

「Wait a sec…」

I heard the sound of paper rustling from the other side, then he continued speaking.

「Uh… I think I’ll need two more hours to finish this? How about we decide on that together after I’m finished?」

While it would be nice to meet in person and go on a date, the intention behind his invitation was a little…

Just how badly did he want me to play a horror game?!

Seriously, Oppa!

But, my desire to see him was a tiny bit stronger than my resentment toward him, so I decided to accept his invitation.

「Alright, come over quickly after you’re finished, okay?」

「Will do! I should be finished at around ten! Anyway, I’m hanging up!」

He immediately hung up the phone.

Feeling lonely once again, I pulled the blanket, pondering what to do in these two hours.

I opened up the streaming site from my phone and saw familiar names.

My streaming schedules were on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but that was just me, the other CLOSER members had different schedules.

For today, there were three members streaming.

[Jennifer] - 17,902 viewers

[Fumurin] - 11,237 viewers

[Leah] - 8,024 viewers

Woah, Jennifer unnie was really popular…

While the number of viewers was gradually increasing for everyone, hers were overwhelming even among us.

The influx of foreigners was really significant, huh? But, it wasn’t like I could capitalize on that.

I wasn’t a pure Korean and I wasn’t good at English.

Anyway, while waiting for Oppa, I should just watch their streams. First, let’s check on Fumurin, who I had become the closest with.

She was talking to her viewers.

Her tone was even higher than when we usually talked, showing how excited she was.

「No! Everyone! Be really really excited for it! I have a feeling our first album will be a big hit~~~ Mwaaang~~~」

What the heck is a mwang?

Seeing her making weird noises like that, I let out a smile.

[Luka: hiii murin]

As soon as I typed in the chat, she immediately focused her attention on me.

「Huh? Luka unnie! Hiiii~」

「I was just bragging about how awesome our MV is!」

Well, the MV was awesome, so there was no need to argue about that.

While I didn’t know what kind of expectations our viewers had, I knew that it would definitely blow them all out of the water.

[Luka: spoilers are a nono]

Anyway, since the attention was on me now, I should tease her a little.

「No wayy! I didn’t spoil anything! I just told them to look forward to it!」

「Unnie, tell chat how awesome it is before you go too!」

Not giving spoilers and controlling expectations.

I wanted to make a witty comment but nothing came to mind, so I just decided to say something simple and switched to another channel.

「Luka: murin sang really well this time, so please look forward to it~^^」

Fumurin and I were inseparable re-recording comrades.

Knowing this was a fatal blow, Fumurin’s voice rose.

「Ah! Luka-tan! Why! Again!」

I didn’t listen to her whines and instead went to Leah’s channel.

What was she doing?

Surprisingly there were gaps in the CLOSER members’ ages.

Fumurin had just become an adult.

Leah and I were both twenty one.

Jennifer unnie was twenty three, and Clover unnie, the oldest among us, was twenty five.

Clicking on her stream, what greeted me was a melancholic singing voice.

「Loving someone seems impossible.」

I knew this song.

Pretty sure it was the ending theme of a game, I didn’t remember what the game’s name was, though.

「But I still want to be loved.」

There were barely any letters in the chat.

Only leaf-shaped character emotes waving lightsticks were filling it up.

Thinking I would greet her later, I quietly listened to her singing.

「Hold me close, squeeze me tight.」

「I’ll remember this moment until my very last breath.」

Her voice conveyed the emotion clearly.

And it seemed like I wasn’t the only one who thought so, as crying emojis started popping up in her chat.

Ugh, why was this so sad?

Just a moment ago I was joking around in Fumurin’s chat.

「...Please kiss me.」

Even after the last part mixed with breathing ended, the piano accompaniment continued, and the viewers, including me, just waited patiently for the music to end.

「...Thank you.」

Only after Leah changed the background back to her regular zatsubackground did the praises pour out.

[Wow! Kim Leah is seriously insane!!!]

[leah unnie i love youuuuuu ㅠ﹏ㅠ ㅠ﹏ㅠ ㅠ﹏ㅠ]

[Wow. Isn’t she like seriously giving real idols a run for their money?]

Seriously, if this was a real stage, I’d give her a standing ovation.

[Luka: leah-chan... aren’t you too good…?]

Leah, who was checking the chat, opened her mouth.

「Did you hear me singing, Luka?」

Leah’s model smiled awkwardly as if she felt a bit overwhelmed.

「How was it?」

Was that question sincere?

Or did she want me to praise her?

Well, whichever it was, I already had my answer.

[Luka: what’s there to say~ our main vocal~~]

To my enthusiastic cheers, Leah’s fans also took time to worship her together.

「Mm... Mm...! Ah. Then I’ll sing the next request.」

The background darkened again.

Something like a karaoke mirror ball spun above Leah’s head, shining a spotlight on her.

「Why did I come to love you?」

「If I had known things would end up like this, I would have taken it all back.」

Haa... She was good...

While admiring her, my heart ached a bit.

After all, Leah and I were singers in the same group.

It was inevitable we would be compared.

Of course, it wasn’t like I didn’t practice singing by myself, but my skills were far too lacking for me to introduce myself as a singer who made a living off it.

Still, I was originally a streamer.

Leah had been preparing to be a musical actress, so she was different from the start.

Rather, it would be strange if I were as good as her.

The more I watched her stream, the more I lost my confidence.

Crybaby Kim Doah.

I was just quietly watching the stream without even typing a single message.

-Knock knock knock

At the sound of knocking, I got up and opened the front door.

“You came earlier than I thought.”

I thought he said that he’d come at around ten?

“Well, I came early because I missed you.”

What a liar.

It was obvious that he just wanted to see me getting scared.

Anyway, I should turn off Leah’s stream.

“What’s wrong?”

But suddenly, Oppa reached his hand to caress my face.

“Why the long face?”

...Ugh why were you only sharp at times like this?

...So annoying.

***

https://ko-fi.com/genesisforsaken