I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

༺ Set Your Heart Ablaze ༻

I remembered a saying in a manhwa.

Love was like a game of catch.

You’d only be able to play the game if the thrower and the catcher played their roles properly.

At the time, I thought it was a good analogy, but…

“…Ha?”

Maybe it was because I was watching a Japanese anime movie.

A high-pitched exclamation like that of a Japanese high school girl came out of my mouth.

My face was twisted into an awkward position.

…This should be the moment where we kiss, shouldn’t it?

Did I miss something?

I knew that it was hard to get into that mood with a movie like this, but I thought I had played my part faithfully.

The scene wasn’t that grotesque, but I pretended to be scared and hid in Oppa’s arms anyway.

Until then, everything was good.

Oppa didn’t reject me, he even stroked my hair.

The moment I felt his hand on my cheek, the scent of his shirt tickled my nostrils. My heart beat so fast that I thought it was going to explode.

This wasn’t the most romantic place, but it was still my first kiss, you know—!

Or so I thought. What happened next just left me to let out a bitter laugh.

“This is where the fun begins.”

He pulled his hand away, as I stared at him in disbelief.

Clearing his throat, Oppa gauged my reaction.

“Ah. Is that also… a little… scary for you…?”

No, no! 

That was not how it was, Oppa!

It didn’t matter if I got scared or not! What you should have done was to pick up my hints!

I wanted to say a lot of things to him, but it wasn’t like I could do that!

Like, how could I ask him why he didn’t kiss me right there?!

All I could do was give him an intense glare.

Trying to tell him, using all my heart, ‘Was that all?’ with my face.

Then, at that moment.

“Oh. Sorry.”

Oppa, who slightly straightened up, pulled me into his arms.

I, who was left in a fairly awkward position, returned to the position I was in a moment ago.

This time, the spot where my face landed was right in front of the nape of his pure white neck.

“You can’t watch scary things, right?”

No! That wasn’t it!

The misunderstanding only got deeper but…

I didn’t hate this situation.

The tighter his hand gripped my waist, the more breathless I felt.

“I’ll tell you when we’re past this scene.”

His other hand stroked my hair, and my heart began to race like it had only moments before.

…I trusted the mindset that the ends justify the means, but I wasn’t sure if it applied in this current situation.

All I could do was tug on his shirt even harder.

Now, I found out that I could feel both annoyed and elated at the same time.

Slowly, as the noises of the battle died down, Oppa loosened his grip on my waist.

“…Are you okay?”

No.

I’m not okay at all.

However, the best I could do was to nod my head weakly.

“I’m sorry, I forgot that you can’t watch scary things…”

No? I wasn’t a five year old kid!

Those creepy tentacles? Or the blood that sprayed out of those exploding heads? I could watch those scenes no problem!

Didn’t I tell him that I’ve finished the whole series before coming here?

His off the mark consideration made me perplexed, but at the same time, it made me happy…

“Ah, right, there’s some gory stuff after this.”

Oppa’s face seemed to be filled with concern.

“Should we just leave?”

“…No.”

Yeah, we should continue watching the movie.

If getting some skinship was my goal here, I could take up on the offer.

Besides, it was Hanbit unnie who gaslit me to yearn for more. If anything, getting this much skinship was fine!

Kissing… and… anything more… can wait until later…

“Are you sure you’re okay? You really don’t have to mind me, I’ve watched the whole thing.”

“Y-Yeah I am, it’s just…”

Since I had been on edge the whole time because of his unpredictable behavior, I figured that it would be better to create a situation I could control.

“…Hold my hand.”

Ugh, that was embarrassing to say.

I’ve said that once before, but why did it still feel embarrassing?

“Is that all you need?”

Oppa’s hand casually slipped over mine.

“Tell me if you can’t handle it, okay?”

Oppa turned his face back to the screen.

…And I secretly planned to hug him again if there was a scene like that again.

* * *

Idiot.

Han Taemin, you fucking moron.

Ugh, you knew that Luka couldn’t watch anything scary, so why the hell did you turn her head in that direction?

As a Pink Army, I felt a surge of anger.

It was an exciting scene, but I shouldn’t force someone to watch it when they didn’t want to see it.

Especially not when it came to Doah.

Luckily, it wasn’t too late to make up for it. She insisted on continuing to watch the movie, though she was nestling in my arms.

I was ready to leave if she wanted to.

But, she said she’d be fine as long as I held her hand, so I decided to trust her on that and follow what she wanted.

The end of the movie slowly approached.

When the demon, the boss in this movie, appeared, the music changed and the thrilling scene continued.

The scene was really cool, but I had to check on Doah from time to time.

Because a rather gruesome scene was about to take place.

[Become a demon, Rengoku!]

Kya! This is it! Here we go!

When that famous line came out, I couldn’t hold back my excitement!

Every time the demon’s fist met Rengoku’s sword, I could feel Doah’s fingers twitch.

I thought about asking her if she was okay, but when I saw that her eyes were completely glued to the screen, I decided it was better to just let her get absorbed in the story.

[Keugh!]

“…Ah!”

Doah sucked in her breath and clamped her mouth shut.

The reason was because Rengoku was unable to defeat the demon, even though he had unleashed his strongest technique, which was pretty much a lethal move.

Instead, he was the one whose abdomen was pierced.

Blood began to pour out of his body.

Compared to my reaction back when I first saw this scene, Doah’s reaction was mild.

Back then, I almost screamed out a curse.

Though his defeat seemed certain, Rengoku’s resistance didn’t stop there.

His body was broken, but he was determined to die together with the demon. He grabbed the demon with his whole body.

[I won’t let you go!]

The sacrifice of a man who was determined to die always tugged at the heartstrings.

Being so engrossed, I grabbed Doah’s hand harder this time.

However, despite the efforts of the protagonist’s party, the demon managed to escape.

As the day dawned, what was left was a wounded swordsman on the verge of death.

His last, testament-like words followed.

[Tell my brother to follow his heart.]

[And tell my father… that he should take care of his health…]

[As a Hashira… it’s natural that I’d protect you all… the young buds must be allowed to bloom…]

[Set your heart ablaze.]

Fuck, I’m gonna cry again…

I turned my head to see how Doah was doing.

“… He’s not going to die, is he?”

Tears formed in her eyes.

“…Rengoku isn’t going to die like that, right?”

Doah asked. From her tone, it was clear that she still couldn’t believe what was happening in front of her eyes now.

“I mean, they must have some kind of medicine or something to heal him, right?!”

“They’re always fighting demons, can’t they just heal him?!”

“He’s a Hashira! There’s no way he’s going to die just like that!”

Maybe she was getting caught in the mood of the movie, she started clutching my forearm and pleading desperately, just like the surviving characters on the screen. 

Even I was too heartbroken to say anything after hearing his last words. Instead of answering, I only opened my arms towards her.

“Hicc.”

Then, Doah wept in my arms.

I patted her back as she sobbed.

Well, I knew this would happen.

Luka often said that she could get emotional pretty quickly.

She wasn’t any different when she played story games on her stream.

The reason why people loved Luka’s dubs and reactions was because she was so focused and committed to the whole story.

It made it clear that she did all that because she loved doing it. She didn’t fake it, or do it just because.

Since that was the case, it was obvious that she’d cry when seeing the movie, especially when she had finished the TV series.

“Ahhh… Rengoku…”

Even after the movie ended and the ending credits had rolled, Doah still showed no sign of leaving my embrace.

“…Are you feeling better?”

But, if we were to stay here any longer, the owner might come to check up on us, so I asked her that question.

“…Yes.”

She took out some tissues from her bag and wiped her tears, then blew her nose once.

“Let’s go.”

I stood up first and held out my hand. Doah clutched it tightly, and we walked out of that place.

When we came here, it was already pretty dark outside, now the sun had completely set.

“How was the movie?”

There was still quite a distance to our homes, so I figured that we shouldn’t spend the whole walk in silence. I asked that question when I noticed that she had calmed down somewhat.

“…Don’t look this way.”

“…Huh?”

“I just cried, my face will look ugly.”

Honestly, it was too dark to see her face, but I just nodded at her words.

“At least it was fun, wasn’t it?”

“I’m still not over Rengoku’s death, but yeah… It was fun…”

“Really?”

“Now I can understand why you forced me to watch it.”

See, Doah-tan?

There was a reason why I told you to do it.

“But, next time.”

Doah stopped and grabbed my other hand.

“Let’s watch a romance movie together.”

The streetlight illuminated her coy expression.

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