I Should Have Just Died

The Cosmos, who was Alyssa’s comfort, has long been lost. All she had left was Sasha, and loneliness.

Every morning, lunch and dinner. When dining with Ophelia and Mrs. Juliana

It was suffocating.

When Mrs. Juliana saw Alyssa nibbling at the meal, she spoke.

“I guess it doesn’t suit Alyssa’s taste, Leons.”

“Oh, no. Mother, it’s really good.”

Alyssa smiled brightly and put a big spoonful. This was like torture. She pretends to be happy and eats.

In fact, it was the same with Juliana and Mrs. Ophelia. Meals were always quiet and no one stayed in the dining room for a long time.

That was Alyssa’s original sin. An unfair sin. An unspeakable sin that has been regarded as her own and she had to beg for their wrongdoings.

The scarlet letters on Alyssa were gradually increasing in volume and pressing her.

Soon, it will be four months since Cambridge has changed. You cannot live in silence forever. Now it was time for Ophelia, Juliana, and Alyssa to return to society.

She wondered how many people would talk. Alyssa sighed and swallowed the food.

“Cough, Cough!”

“Oh, it’s because you are forcing yourself to eat it! I’m really upset.”

Sasha patted Alyssa’s back as she vomited and exhaled a stretched sigh. She felt sick every day so she opened her hands and vomited and now it feels like a daily routine.

At the same time, when she got a serious illness, Alyssa held back even if she tried to call a doctor because she was worried about what to do. She doesn’t want to bother the Cambridge mansion anymore.

‘How long will I…’

Alyssa bit her lips. Enough for blood to seep out.

She doesn’t know why the fate of the royal daughter is so bad.

Rather, after vomiting the things, Alyssa feels comfortable inside, was washed herself in warm water, and she put on her dress finely. She wore a thick fur shawl covering her small face and put on a coat.

No matter how bad the weather was, Alyssa did not skip a walk. When she went to the garden, Sasha could see her breathing easily in the open, so Sasha didn’t stop her.

Sasha said, putting gloves on Alyssa’s hand.

“Come back early today. It looks like it’s going to snow heavily.”

“Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

Sasha rolled her arms out after seeing Alyssa nodding her head with twinkling eyes. She pushed away all the maids who were going to serve Alyssa, so only Sasha was in charge of her.

She had to tidy up Alyssa’s bedroom, organize the books and papers she was reading, and finally check the dressing room.

Sasha’s day was just beginning.

***

How long has it been?

Seidrick, who looked out of the window and looked at the landscape, was impressed.

It seemed that it had been about three months since he returned to the Cambridge mansion. When he went down to the south, he learned of the cheap cigars from the workers and was now strung between Siedrick’s fingers.

“You have no manner in the carriage.”

Pauline murmurs sullenly and opens the window of the carriage towards the cold breeze outside. Soon they will arrive at the Cambridge mansion.

“Hahaha. Sorry, sorry.”

Seidrick, who regained his former self and laughed, pushed the cigar to the floor and threw it into a small trash can.

Seidrick seemed a little bit more grown-up then. Not saying anything about the 24-year-old man. If he were like a boy before, now he felt like an adult who’s really in charge of the family.

The sudden death of Kendrick seemed to have made Seidrick grow.

In the south, Seidrick encouraged the workers and mingled without hesitation between them. He inspected the mine himself and worked day and night.

Thanks to this, the drilling of iron ore was stabilizing without difficulty.  The task this time in the capital was to find a company to supply refined iron. Perhaps because the capital’s commercial district was the most developed, there were many companies.

Thanks to this, Seidrick set foot in the capital after a long time.

But it wasn’t like he could stay long. A week later, he had to go back to the south and find a steel mill that had a furnace that could smelt good quality iron ore. He has a lot of work to do, so he didn’t know when he could sleep with his legs extended properly.