I Possessed The Immoral Empress

Valliere, who was showing off the necklace Leopold had gifted her, felt her self-esteem restored as she was being ignored by Henry.

No matter how much she looked around, she couldn’t find any young lady with a more splendid necklace than hers.

The pendant, adorned with highly pure emeralds and hundreds of diamonds, was worth more than an upscale mansion in the capital.

‘Well, no matter how hard you all try, in the end, both Henry and Leopold are interested in me.’

The young ladies attending the ball couldn’t refuse the Marchioness’s greetings and roughly chimed in, boosting Valliere’s self-esteem.

Certainly, the attitudes were completely different from when she was just a child of a lowly courtier’s family.

No matter what’s beneath the surface, no one could treat her lightly in a place where Henry wasn’t present.

Although she had lost the child, how fortunate was it that she had received the title before that?

While Valliere roamed the ballroom with an excited heart, the Countess Brienta whispered in a low voice, igniting her misconception. 

“His Highness must have really liked the Marchioness.”

***

Arvian visited Ermedeline resting in her quarters.

“You’re here?”

Arvian, confirming there were no maids within hearing distance, greeted Ermedeline casually.

“Hey. Stranger.”

“Why?”

“This isn’t your world. Besides, that wasn’t even your body. Why did you do something so foolish?”

Truthfully, Arvian wanted to ask the question since the moment Ermedeline was stabbed with the dagger, but now that her condition had somewhat improved, she asked.

“I was foolish indeed. I was forgetting Helen’s family.”

““But they’re not your concern. You’re just supposed to live and leave the palace, right?”

“Yeah. That’s right.”

“But why did you do that?”

Arvian was genuinely curious.

Why would she so casually waste the second chance she barely managed to get after dying once, for reasons that seemed so futile?

“Because of me. They kidnapped her family because of me.”

“Huh? You must be really empathetic.”

“It’s because of me. Is it foolish to take responsibility for what happened because of me?”

Despite asking a question, instead of an answer, another question came back unexpectedly from Ermedeline. Arvian was left speechless.

If you think about it, she’s not wrong.

It’s only sensible for her to take responsibility for what happened because of her.

“Even though I saved Heather, I still feel pathetic. Forgetting about that family and failing to save Helen’s mother—it’s all just pathetic.”

Ermedeline’s transparent soul began to shimmer with a faint light.

Arvian was very familiar with this faint light.

Sadness and shame.

One of the emotions he could never empathize with.

Despite hearing a perfectly sensible answer, Arvian couldn’t understand Ermedeline’s choice at all; he still thought she made a foolish decision.

‘What could be more important than your own life?’

Arvian could see the souls of others, but he couldn’t see his own soul.

As Arvian peered into Ermedeline’s purple eyes, which held deep and serene determination, he imagined what his own soul might look like.

‘Perhaps it’s clouded. Shame? Just a hindrance to living.’

“Sure. Well, wallow in your own misery. When you’re all better, you can tell more stories from the other side.”

Thinking he had no more to say, Arvian turned to leave Ermedeline’s quarters.

Just then, a calm and tidy little voice echoed into his soul.

“Thank you for risking your life to save me, foolish priest.”

Ermedeline, who had slowly regained enough strength to move comfortably, was beginning to get annoyed.

It was because of Felio who continued to avoid her despite begging and cried previously to not avoid him.

I know words might not convey everything, but she still wanted to express gratitude, yet she couldn’t seem to face him.

“Well, he’s probably hiding somewhere sulking.”

Despite her frustration, Ermedeline’s inquiries to Arvian only received terse replies.

Ultimately, Ermedeline, after guarding Felio’s quarters until late hours, ambushed him as he returned from somewhere.

“Hey!”

As Felio’s wrist was caught by Ermedeline, he was startled and tried to flee, but Ermedeline’s pace was slightly faster.

Truthfully, Ermedeline hadn’t intended to kick him, but seeing Felio’s expression, as if he had seen a ghost upon seeing her, riled her up.

With a powerful kick, Felio staggered backward, and a servant waiting inside the lodging started to glare at Ermedeline with eyes full of rage.

“What are you doing to a benefactor of your life?”

Just by looking at the gaze, she understand what’s going on.

“No, it’s not like that. I’m not a violent person…”

As Ermedeline, embarrassed and sweating, tried to support Felio, he turned his head away, not wanting to meet her eyes.

“Your Grace! Look at me!”

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

“No. I said look at me! Let’s talk face to face!”

“Just stay like this.”

Ermedeline felt anxious, as if Felio might run away at any moment, but he still refused to make eye contact.

“Your Grace!”

Finally, Ermedeline, her frustration boiling over, forcefully turned him around with both hands.

“W-what?”

Turning around, Felio reflexively raised his large hand to cover his face and bowed his head.

“What are you doing right now?”

In a creeping voice, Felio responded to Ermedeline’s question.

“Please forget.”

“What?”

“That… Please forget it.”

“Forget that? Forget what exactly?”

“So… that… I…”

Just as a prominent vein began to appear on Ermedeline’s forehead due to frustration, Arvian, who happened to witness the scene, casually explained the meaning of ‘that.’

“It seems like a plea to forget about the crying and sulking like a child.”

“What?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know about him cryi…”

Felio quickly raised his hand to cover Arvian’s mouth and scanned the surroundings.

Fortunately, there was no one close enough to hear their conversation.

“Are you avoiding me because of that? Because it’s embarrassing?”

With a mix of disbelief and relief, Ermedeline, forgetting her composure as an empress, sank down in place, feeling incredulous.

“I… How much… How worried I was… Thinking you were disappointed in me, not wanting to see me anymore… *sigh*…”

Ermedeline, who had gone alone to a dangerous place, ended up putting not only herself but also Felio and Arvian in danger, causing her intense guilt throughout her illness.

That’s why Felio avoiding her weighed even heavier on her mind. The fact that he was avoiding her because he was embarrassed made her burst out in a hollow laugh.

“I was disappointed. Why did you go to that dangerous place alone? If Arvian and I weren’t there, Your Majesty the Empress might have…”

Even thinking about it made Felio tremble, unable to finish his sentence, as he nervously bit his lip.

“I apologize for getting you involved. I am sincerely grateful for saving me.”

Leaning against a pillar, Ermedeline bowed deeply in thanks while sitting down, feeling completely drained.

“You don’t need to thank or apologize! It was my decision to go, and protecting Your Majesty the Empress is my duty, isn’t it? What I can’t understand is why you went to that dangerous place alone! Wasn’t I here?”

Faced with Felio’s question, Ermedeline’s already lowered head sank further downward.

“I went there thinking I might die. Well, not that I wanted to die, but I felt it was inevitable.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Thinking of dying in a place where she had no confidence in herself was terrifying enough, but saying it was inevitable to die was just irresponsible.

Felio’s expression quickly turned grim.

“Helen died because of me. Her mother is still held captive, and if I hadn’t gone alone and faced the curse, Heather might have died there too.”

“Well, yes, but why did Your Majesty personally…”

“It’s because of me. It was my doing.”

“I understand Your Majesty’s feelings, but you might actually end up dying.”

While Felio’s voice softened a bit, his breathing remained rough.

“Yeah, I might die. I don’t want to die either. I’m struggling to survive…”

Ermedeline, who already knew about her impending death, wanted to scream out that she didn’t want to die more than anyone else, but it was something she couldn’t do.

“But, Your Grace, what meaning is there in just being alive? I believe how we live during that time, no matter how short, is more important.”

This was Ermedeline’s honest sentiment, having risked her life for Heather.

Slowly raising her head, she looked at Felio with an undeniably serious gaze.

Felio, who had been firm, quickly turned his head away with reddened eyes upon meeting Ermedeline’s gaze.

Although numerous words he wanted to say internally flashed by, unable to bring any of them to the surface, he simply nodded quietly and made his way to his quarters as Felio disappeared.

As Felio vanished, Ermedeline, who had been composed just moments ago, collapsed weakly.

“Sigh.”

Letting out a deep breath, Arvian sat down beside Ermedeline.

“What’s good about that crybaby?”

“What?”

Ermedeline looked at Arvian with widened eyes, taken aback by his question.

“That guy keep sulking. Why do you even keep such a guy as your closest aide?”

“Ah…”

Misunderstanding Arvian’s question for a moment, Ermedeline swallowed a sigh inwardly and, trying to hide her tremble, answered in a quiet voice.

“His Grace is smart. Sometimes frustrating, but fundamentally a good person.”

When mentioning the phrase ‘good person,’ Ermedeline strangely felt embarrassed, awkwardly smiled, and turned her gaze away.

“So, are you not going to avoid him now? Will you keep him by your side?”

Upon Arvian’s question, Ermedeline furrowed her brow, biting her lip in discomfort.

After a moment’s pause, she struggled to hold back an imminent outburst of tears and nodded her head.

“Yeah. Because he’s a competent aide.”

Arvian, looking at Ermedeline’s profile as she held back tears, keeping her head up to avoid shedding them, stared sharply.

‘Foolish people.’

***

Felio barely restrained himself from yelling out loud that he didn’t care about such noble ideals and that as long as he could be by your side, that would be enough.

The cruel words spoken by the woman he loves.

“It doesn’t matter if I die.”

He knew it was her sincere sentiment, utterly truthful without a hint of falsehood.

The thought of leaving everything behind and running away together crossed his mind dozens of times every day.

The desire to plead for her to choose him over Ferdant, even if it meant abandoning her son, crossed his mind hundreds of times every day.

He knew he was nothing more than a beast himself, but he couldn’t stop these thoughts from flowing.

“Ha.”

A hollow laugh escaped Felio’s lips as he found his own pathetic state amusing.

‘Yeah. In reality, I was always this kind of guy. Since when did I start caring about others’ feelings and living for them? A sewer project at an orphanage… Roberto mocking me isn’t unreasonable. If she truly knew this side of me, she’d be the one to truly be disappointed in me.’