I Possessed The Immoral Empress

‘What’s okay?’

Noctavinus had been saying incomprehensible things for a while, yet strangely, Ermedeline found herself tearing up at his soothing tone.

A feeling that everything might truly be okay flooded over her. 

She felt capable of enduring the gazes of the other priests fixated on her.

“I apologize for my behavior on our first meeting… It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the temple, so my emotions got the best of me…”

But of course, it was futile. 

The outright mocking laughter of the priests cut harshly through her ears. 

However, Noctavinus’s face continued to radiate only a warm smile.

“This place is where the gods are revered. There’s no need to apologize for what the heart feels.”

“I see.”

‘Thank goodness. It’s a relief this person won’t die. I’m relieved that I won’t have to kill them.’

Though they’d only met briefly, just being around him made her spirit feel clearer. 

She understood why this old man was a high priest.

He felt like a refreshing spiritual leader, vastly different from the regular priests filled with resentment towards Ermedeline.

Suppressing her urge to cry, Ermedeline took Noctavinus’s hand and followed him to a room that appeared grander and more extravagant compared to the modest chamber she’d seen earlier.

“What’s this place?”

“This is the space where Her Majesty the Empress will stay.”

“Huh? Isn’t this too extravagant for just praying?”

Although it wasn’t comparable to the Empress’s quarters in the palace, recalling Noctavinus’s modest room from earlier made Ermedeline hesitate to claim such an opulent space for herself.

“Isn’t Her Majesty the Empress a disciple of the gods? Even the attendants accompanying you will stay here. It’s a spacious area for all of you to use together.”

“Oh…”

Ermedeline wanted to ask if Valliere had also stayed in this room, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak.

As she hesitated, feeling at a loss for what to do, a truly unpleasant voice was heard.

“Why? Is this room too shabby for the Empress to stay in?”

Turning her gaze away with a slight frown on her forehead, Ermedeline saw Arvian, whose despicable face was entirely incongruent with his pure and fair appearance.

He was someone who, despite having a beautiful face, displayed truly impure expressions that didn’t match.

‘Even in the original work, he seemed a bit shady, but I don’t recall it being to this extent…’

At a loss for how to respond to such excessively childish remarks, Ermedeline stood with a bewildered expression. 

Behind her, Rooney, who had been quietly observing, finally seemed to explode.

“Roo, Rooney….”

“As a priest, what kind of curse Your Majesty the Empress—”

“A curse? Do you even realize how instrumental Her Majesty has been in eradicating the epidemic? You foolish man!”

“Ugh!”

Before the conversation escalated further, Ermedeline urgently covered Rooney’s mouth with her hand.

“Please, stop.”

“I won’t! That little guy keeps disrespecting Her Majesty! It’s fine if you disrespect me, but you can’t disrespect the Empress!”

“Little guy? I… I didn’t even know I was small enough to be unseen! Where did you get such ignorance…”

“That’s enough!”

This time, Noctavinus interrupted Arvian’s words.

‘What’s with this first meeting? This is a disaster!’

Ermedeline appeared serious, contrasting sharply with Noctavinus’ relaxed demeanor.

While Ermedeline seemed serious, Noctavinus maintained a rather nonchalant attitude.

“Apologize to Her Majesty the Empress,” he said calmly.

“What?”

“Apologize immediately.”

Even though Arvian seemed like he might object, he couldn’t defy his mentor’s words and immediately lowered his tail, bowing his head.

“I apologize for my rudeness.”

Though Arvian’s shoulders slumped as if the tension had drained out of him, his eyes remained venomous. 

It was akin to seeing a small, fierce dog that hadn’t let go of its anger even after being scolded by its owner.

“Rooney, you too, apologize.”

Sensing Ermedeline’s cue, Rooney reluctantly followed suit, her shoulders slumped, her gaze fixed on Arvian as she apologized.

“I’m sorry.”

Rooney, a dark blonde, is a small yellow dog.

‘Those two little ones acting like this, but they’re still cute,’ Ermedeline thought.

“Alright, we’re done for today, so for now, unpack your belongings and take a break until dinner. Formal prayers can begin from tomorrow,” Noctavinus said, forcibly tugging the still-annoyed puppy’s leash and disappearing, offering a warm nod.

Ermedeline awkwardly held onto the leash of the still-temperamental puppy, receiving Noctavinus’s warm gesture amidst her lingering annoyance.

“Rooney, it’s rude to yell at our first meeting,” Ermedeline said.

Rather than reflecting on Ermedeline’s words, Rooney widened his eyes further.

“But he was rude first!”

“‘He’… he’s a priest…”

“Whether he’s a priest or whatever doesn’t matter! If he’s rude to the Empress, I won’t stand for it!”

With all that said, Ermedeline couldn’t be mad at Rooney.

She couldn’t explain to him that he was one of the people who held her life in his hands.

“Alright. Alright. I appreciate your concern. But I’ll handle it next time.”

“But the Empress is too kind for you to do that!”

“No, I can do it. He called you ignorant earlier. I won’t stay quiet next time either.”

Ermedeline smiled heartily, as if telling him to trust her, but Rooney remained somewhat unsatisfied.

“If you’re going to apologize again…”

Ermedeline pretended not to hear Rooney’s muttering on purpose.

‘Feeling tired.’

After Rooney and Margo went to tidy up their belongings, Ermedeline was left alone in the bedroom.

She hasn’t even contacted Leopold yet, and she’s already met an unexpected person.

‘No, I should have expected it. Leopold may not be a character from the original, but did I forget about the supporting male lead? Especially the role of sealing Ermedeline’s powers?’

Despite coming to a place with fresh air to cool her head for a moment, her headache only worsened.

‘I’m tired. Really tired.’

For months since the possession, Ermedeline had been in a state of extreme tension.

Adapting to an entirely new world was challenging enough, but considering that this world was entirely hostile towards her, it was only natural.

Encountering people who hated her and wanted to kill her over things she hadn’t even done. It felt like constantly standing on the edge of a cliff.

It seemed like one wrong step would send her endlessly plummeting into the abyss.

During the early days of the possession, she had even envied Valliere, who was loved by everyone without having to do anything.

No matter how much she opened the door to her heart and tried, all that came back were suspicions and ridicule, so self-reproach always weighed heavily on her shoulders.

It was the same in her previous life.

No matter where she went, the label of being an orphan never seemed to come off. 

Even if she carefully watched her words and actions, people’s evaluations remained consistently unchanging over trivial matters.

“She’s an orphan.”

In reality, wounded children were easily skewed.

Because of having faced countless emotionally scarred children in orphanages, children burdened with a void that could never be filled, Hyeyoung knew well how this emptiness could affect their personalities.

Certainly, despite receiving abundant love from teachers, the warmth of a family was something they could never truly experience.

Children who learned to give up at a very young age had no expectations of this world or people.

Perhaps that’s why she tried even harder to become a good person, more determinedly than anyone else.

She never wanted to be labeled as an orphan, so she strived to live more honestly and justly than anyone else.

There were times when someone would dislike her, times when she wanted to get annoyed with someone, and very rarely, times when she wanted to act selfishly, but Hyeyoung always chose to endure.

For her, any flaws that others might consider mere fleeting whims or small imperfections were inevitably linked to the assessment of “She’s an orphan,” simply because she knew that. 

It didn’t matter if others might overlook those shortcomings as temporary quirks or minor faults; she knew it would lead back to that judgment.

Even those who had ignored her, or those who claimed to sympathize and understand, always said the same thing.

“You’re an orphan.”

How much she despised hearing those words.

She couldn’t say how much effort she put in to never show any vulnerability to anyone. 

She didn’t know how much tension she lived with daily to hide herself tightly and play the role of a good person.

When she had become so adept at wearing that convincing mask of being a good person, someone she worked with said,

‘You’re struggling hard not to show that you’re an orphan.’

Of course, not everyone she encountered in life was a bad person.

There were undoubtedly people who genuinely understood her situation, who tried to get to know her, her true self, and empathize with her.

But bad memories always seemed to outweigh the good ones.

Deeply inflicted wounds may heal, but they often leave terrible scars, as if etched into one’s very being.

When Hyeyoung was parting ways with Kyungsoo, she was in a state almost reminiscent of being entangled in a web of nerves. 

She wasn’t weak enough to collapse upon hearing such words, but neither was she strong enough to shrug them off without care; thus, every word and action she uttered was always cautious.

“Her Majesty, the Empress, is too kind…”

At Rooney’s words, Ermedeline let out a bitter laugh. 

When she was an orphan, she struggled, and now, as an Empress, she finally received the evaluation of being kind. 

In truth, as Ermedeline, all her actions were merely to survive and to break free from the assessment that bound her with “She’s an orphan,” yet hearing from someone close that she was too kind weighed on her.

‘If even Rooney thinks so, to some extent, is it a success?’

The content of the original novel was gradually fading away, but why hadn’t the scars from her past life been erased at all?

‘Even when I play the same role, at least here, I don’t hear the orphan talk. Yes. I’d rather be a witch or a demon.’

Ermedeline looked inward at herself in silence.

New wounds from the words “witch” and “demon” engraved upon her, amidst the countless scars she received upon starting a new life, following the multitude of scars she bore from hearing the label of being an orphan.

Above the dreadful scars from her possession, she could see numerous deep crimson marks that had left her breathless due to the wounds she endured throughout the possession, some splitting with pus oozing out.

Despite begrudgingly receiving the evaluation of being a kind person, her inner landscape remained unchanged.

‘Even to my eyes, it’s a disgusting sight.’

Drained by gloomy thoughts, Ermedeline lay still, staring blankly at the ceiling.

After almost begging for kindness, peeling away a bit of the thick hatred and resentment that had been clinging to her, trying to catch her breath, she found herself facing the same old hatred again, as if encountering it for the first time, and a sense of emptiness flooded over her like a tide, impossible to articulate.

‘I’m irritated. Truly irritated. Who would want to come into a body like this?’

‘How much longer do I have to act and live as a kind person? I’m really tired of it!’

Lying sprawled on the bed, hands folded over her forehead, lamenting her fate, Ermedeline heard an irritated voice that grated on her nerves.

“What’s wrong with you?”

At the sound of informal speech she hadn’t heard in a long time, Ermedeline lowered her hand and looked up to find Arvian staring down at her with those intense, fiery red eyes.

“What?”

For a moment, Ermedeline thought she misheard, but the question remained the same.

“What are you?”

“Huh?”

Surprised, Ermedeline shot up, glaring at Arvian with a cold gaze.

“The person you just met, don’t you remember me?”

Here is the English translation of the text:

“I can’t forget. How could I forget the vile and disgusting soul of Her Majesty, the Empress? I just saw ‘you’ for the first time, that’s why I asked.”

“Seeing me for the first time?”

“Who are you?”

Ermedeline found the blunt question oddly familiar.

It reminded her of a question asked by Valliere just a few months ago.

“Surely, you are not—”

“This can’t be! That filthy soul can’t possibly become this pure!”

“What? A pure soul?”

“Yes. You. You’re too clear and white. It doesn’t make sense. Who are you?”

“Clear and white?”

Lost in her self-loathing, Ermedeline forgot, for a moment, the imminent danger of being discovered as possessed when confronted with Arvian’s words.

“My insides are clear and white?”

Although Arvian asked confidently, when Ermedeline suddenly looked up with tear-filled eyes and smiled brightly, Arvian was taken aback.

“Answer the question! Who are you! You’re not Empress Ermedeline!”

His assertive face showed no trace of doubt, so eventually Ermedeline simply nodded her head obediently.