I Only Love My Greatest Enemy

Eris sat in silence, stewing away in her guilt. She placed her head in her hands. The girl shivered, tears leaking from her eyes. It took all her efforts to not sob.

"This is all my fault. Barbados wouldn't have shot Armand if I didn't tell him that Armand was Marshal Staufer's adjutant. He would have fired his gun in the air if I didn't say that," she thought.

Then, another revelation came to the Hapsburg. A darkness flowed over her. Eris pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. Tears flowed out of her body even more.

"No, it's more than that. Barbados was a political obstacle to me, but most lords wouldn't think he'd be enough of one to be worth killing. If I didn't try to kill him, Armand would never have stepped in, and he wouldn't have been shot," Eris pondered.

Then, she clenched her fists so hard they turned white.

"No! This is not my fault, this is Armand's fault! If he hadn't interfered, I'd have killed Barbados and Abene! They'd both be dead, and we wouldn't have to worry about either of them! Once again, Armand got in the way of...my..."

Tears blasted from Eris' eyes. She placed her hands on them, her entire body cringing.

"By the gods, what am I doing? I know I'm a monster. I know I'm evil. I know that I'm going to hell when I die. By stopping me, Armand's doing the right thing. And my actions almost got him killed," she thought.

A certain bitterness crashed through the door into Eris' body, directed at herself.

"If this was the me from the last time around, I'd be celebrating. I'd probably have stabbed Armand to death and ran away laughing. I'd be at some tavern, drinking and partying right now," Eris thought.

She felt like punching herself in the face. The Hapsburg almost did it, but she controlled herself.

"By the gods, I never thought I'd hate myself! How could I have ever thought of Armand that way? Armand is kind, he's loyal, he's smart, he wants to help me get more power, and he protected me, even if it was just to stop one of my schemes."

Eris choked up. She felt her tears leak down her face and stain the dress she was wearing. The Hapsburg girl couldn't hold back anymore. With a grunt of pain, she slammed her fist into her gut.

"I love Armand, dammit! I can't imagine life without him! I want to marry Armand, to have children with him, to rise to the highest heights of power with him! But I can't do any of that if he's dead! I...I don't want Armand to die!"

The Hapsburg girl clenched her clothes, tearing them at the seams from the force of her grasp. She gritted her teeth so hard that she thought they'd crack.

"My schemes almost got Armand killed. To survive as a noble, you need to be ruthless. You need to be even more ruthless to get more power. But if Armand's life is the price I have to pay to get more power, I don't want more power," Eris let her tears fly freely. "If Armand survives this, I will not let him die! No matter what, I will protect him! I don't care who gets in my way! Even if it's Armand's family, even if it's my own family, I will crush anyone who threatens Armand!"

A strong resolve flowed through Eris' heart. Unwavering determination filled her soul.

"I still want more power, but I don't want it as much as I want Armand. If I have to choose between the two, I choose Armand."

Eris sat alone for hours after that, crying to herself. Then, the door to the room opened. The doctor stepped inside. Upon seeing him, Eris spoke right away.

"Is Armand doing to be alright?"

"He is alive," the doctor said. "The operation was successful. However, Armand is in critical condition. He will need to be under constant medical watch for some time. In all honesty, he is lucky to be alive at all."

"I understand," Eris nodded.

She took a deep breath, forcing down her tears. Eris then walked to the door.

"Keep an eye on Armand. If anything happens to him, I will have more than your head," she ordered. "If he is safe, you will be greatly rewarded."

"Of course, Lady Hapsburg. He is safe under my care," the doctor said.

With that, Eris left the building. Her eyes were red from her tears. Sneaking through the city streets to make sure she wasn't seen, Eris made her way to a tavern. She stepped inside, and several men immediately stood up. They were some of the hussars Eris sent to the city ahead of her.

"Lady Eris, what do you need?" one of them asked right away.

Eris motioned them over. They stepped outside and huddled together so no one would hear them.

"My fiance is..." Eris struggled to get the words out. "...injured. He is at Doctor Hildbert's dwelling. Go there now and protect him."

The hussars did not hesitate. They grabbed their weapons and moved out. After that, Eris went to her next destination. She held down her tears, forcing her way through the dark streets step by step.

Eventually, Eris came to one of the largest houses in the city. However, calling it a house wasn't putting it in its full perspective. This building was fortified like a castle. If you shot a cannon at its wall, the cannonball would bounce off while barely leaving a scratch.

Two tall men stood at the door. Each of them had a greatsword in his arms. Up above, men with arquebus patrolled the roof. Their matches were at the ready to fire their weapons.

Eris walked up to the mercenaries guarding the door. She looked up at them, keeping her stance firm and hiding her remaining tears. Then, Eris spoke.

"I am Eris Hapsburg. I have a message for Marshal Staufer regarding his adjutant."

One of the guards turned to the door while the other kept his eyes on Eris. The guard knocked on it. After a few moments, a maid exited. Then, the guard whispered something in her ear. With a nod, the maid went back inside.

Marshal Staufer came to the door faster than Eris expected. She blinked in shock when she saw him in full armor.

"He never ceases to be impressive," Eris thought.

With curious eyes, the marshal surveyed her. He did not seem to recognize her from the feast. Still, there was a serious expression on his face.

"You say you're Armand's fiance?" Marshal Staufer asked. "You look like you've been crying."

Eris let her emotions flow out. She didn't burst out into tears, but she let herself sniffle.

"I have to be strong for Armand, but I also need Marshal Staufer's sympathy. I'll let him see just a little bit of what I'm feeling," Eris thought before speaking. "Armand was shot."

Marshal Staufer blinked in shock.

"Shot?" he asked.

"Yes," Eris answered.

She let some tears leak down her eyes. However, Eris started to have trouble controlling her feelings. Images of the duel flashed through her head. Eris saw Armand's body lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood once more.

"He's at a doctor's house. Armand's alive, but...he's in a terrible shape," the Hapsburg said.

Rage flashed over Marshal Staufer's eyes. However, his expression remained calm. There was a hint of suspicion on his face as if he thought Eris might be trying to lure him into some sort of trap.

"I'll get a bunch of my doppelsöldners and come over," Marshal Staufer stated.

"Doppelsöldners, landsknechte mercenaries who take the most dangerous jobs. Marshal Staufer's as cautious as ever. Good. With warriors like these around, Armand will be much safer than before," Eris thought.

Then, a wave of murderous intent washed over Marshal Staufer.

"Tell me, Lady Hapsburg, who shot my adjutant?" he asked.

His eyes pierced through Eris, ready to see through any and all deception. The girl was so struck with fear that she didn't dare lie to him.

"A corpse," Eris answered.

Marshal Staufer nodded.

"So, the shooter didn't live?"

"I killed that bastard," Eris clenched her hands so hard they turned white, feeling anger pulsed through her. "For what he did to Armand."

Still, that anger was intermixed with increasing sadness and a crushing guilt.

"It's my fault Armand got shot. I deserve to die as much as Barbados," Eris thought.

"You did good. I'm glad that Armand has a woman like you by his side," Marshal Staufer said.

That sent a thousand-pound weight crashing down on Eris' guilt.

"I am the worst woman to be by Armand's side. He might die because of me," the girl thought.

Soon, Marshal Staufer and his men were at the doctor's place with Eris. Several bloody bandages as well as sheets were at the side as the doctor checked up on Armand's condition. This was the third time he did it, having been requested by Marshal Staufer to be thorough. When the checkup was done, the marshal spoke.

"How soon before we can safely move Armand?"

"That depends on what you move him with. It will be weeks before he can ride a horse, assuming he's even awake by then. But if you have a carriage that can give him a smooth enough ride, I believe he'll be ready to travel at around noon tomorrow," the doctor said.

Marshal Staufer nodded.

"We'll take him to my house then. I'll arrange for a suitable carriage," he stated.

Then, the marshal turned to his mercenaries.

"Stay with Armand. Make sure no harm comes to him," Staufer ordered.

The mercenaries nodded. Marshal Staufer fixed his gaze on Eris, who was leaking tears despite her best effort to hold them in. A sympathetic look crossed his face for a brief second before he turned serious again.

"Come with me for a moment. We have some things to talk about in private," Marshal Staufer ordered.

"Of course," Eris said.

They went outside of the building. There, Marshal Staufer made sure there wasn't anyone within earshot before speaking.

"Armand doesn't talk about his home life often. He mentioned you a few times, but he avoids the topic of the rest of his family. Does he have any issues at home? You don't have to go into specifics, just yes or no," Staufer stated.

"Yes," Eris said.

Armand's brother came to mind. Hatred filled Eris' body once more.

"If he tries to kill Armand while he's injured, nothing will stop me from taking his head," she thought.

"Then, is there anyone at his house who might take advantage of his condition?" Staufer asked.

"Yes," Eris answered before thinking. "The only person in House Concord that I'd be willing to tell about what happened to Armand is his older sister. And even then, she'd righty blame me for it. I don't think Armand's younger sisters would betray him, but they're too young to know to keep their mouths shut."

Marshal Staufer grimaced.

"Then, we'll need to make sure no one finds out," he said.

"It's too late for that. Someone who knows who Armand is witnessed him getting shot," Eris replied.

"That complicates things," Marshal Staufer noted. "We'll need to talk more about what to do. Right now, I need to make sure things get arranged at my house. I'll need to get my personal doctor over."

The Hapsburg girl nodded.

"Please let me stay too. I'm not leaving Armand's side while he's this injured," she said.

"You're his fiance. I wouldn't separate you from him when he's in this dire state," Marshal Staufer replied.

Genuine gratitude pulsed through Eris' body. It felt strange, but not unpleasant, to her.

"Thank you," she said.

"Don't worry about it. Just take good care of Armand and help the doctor whenever you can," Marshal Staufer instructed.

"I will. I promise," Eris spoke before thinking. "I will not let you die, Armand."