I Just Wanted to Play Gacha Games For the Rest of My Life, But I Reincarnated as an Evil Pair of Tights!

Elissa and I were standing next to Justus on the edge of the floating island. This time the sun was just peeking above the horizon, and it was early in the morning. Justus has asked us to meet him here. His was the first task we would complete, for the simple reason this was his idea in the first place. We’d have to do whatever the others had in mind anyway, so it seemed like a safe bet.

“You see here, Demon Lord Elissa and the Abyssal One. There are creatures, some live under the mountains, others can fly through the air. Each creature has a purpose in this world, and as you can see, the island is filled with creatures I’ve collected over the centuries. Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom,” he said musingly. Then his brows furrowed and his demeanour changed.

“There is one creature, however, whose existence I cannot allow to continue. A creature so vile, so horrid and offensive to the senses it must be destroyed!”

“What is it, Demon Lord Justus?” Elissa asked.

“The wretched thing they call… a unicorn”, Justus replied, looking like he was about to throw up.

Say what?

“A unicorn?”, Elissa looked as confused as I was feeling at that moment.

“I see you are not familiar with this abomination, for if you were, you’d surely be just as outraged as I, Demon Lord Elissa! These foul creatures have one horn, protruding out of their skull, and they claim to be holy. Their purpose, and their reason for being, is to protect the forests in which they dwell,” he replied.

“It is their appearance and manner of doing so, which is so… despicable, however. The way they walk, they way they…neigh. Oh, those foul beasts!! And I know not what foul sorcery has created such a beast! But I know its maker! It must be one of the goddesses, surely! For what other force could create such a thing?! But know this, I will not rest until these unicorn creatures have been destroyed! They are the abominations, the scum of the world, and must be eradicated! That is what I wish Demon Lord Elissa. I ask you, hunt one of these things, a unicorn, and destroy it!”

Geez, Justus really had it in for these unicorns. But…

“Lord Justus, surely with your power you’d have destroyed it yourself?”, Elissa completed my thought for me.

“Indeed. It is a trifling matter for one such as myself, Demon Lord Elissa, but I wish not for a single moment to lay my eyes on one of these abominations while they’re alive or dead. And not only will they not die easily, they have a very annoying way of running away! If you destroy it, I will be satisfied. I will owe you not only the information you seek, but the secret to magic! What do you say, Demon Lord Elissa, will you do me this service?”

Justus really didn’t like these things.

Elissa looked down towards me.

It was clear we’d have to do this. It would be a good way of testing out our newfound power.

“How powerful should we expect the beast to be, Demon Lord Justus?”, Elissa enquired. She had a point.

“It is a legendary beast, so you should expect it to be at least level 200, Demon Lord Elissa”, Justus said casually. A bit too casually for me. What the hell, this thing was higher level than a Demon Lord?!

“But with your unique skills, and the aid of the Abyssal One, it should present no trouble to you,” he concluded.

“Oh, and it happens to be right below us as we speak. I have steered the floating island to its location. I know you’re one hand short, an important hand. So I’d rather not inconvenience you.”

You mean you’d rather not inconvenience yourself? Right? That’s what you really mean.

Stop!

“Elissa, we knew something like this was coming. Are you up for it?”

“Sure, I brought Rodd with me just in case, Hero.”

“Your Aura is already activated so it should be at full power.”

“How will we get down, Hero?”

“Let me take care of that…”

Start!

I sprouted a branching series of tentacles from Elissa’s back and generated a thin membrane between them. Wings. This should be fun.

Elissa, not missing a beat and surely wanting to look cool, turned back against the precipice and said, “Be right back!”, with a cute little wave. Then she jumped, somersaulting backwards.

We immediately started falling towards the clouds, beyond them, at high speed.

The view was amazing, but it receded quickly as the ground, the forest below grew larger. As we were about to hit the ground, I started to worry about the trope of fall damage in games. Surely it would no be issue. We took a few hits before, which would have vaporised a normal person, and now we were level 200.

Just as we were about to impact, I spread the wings, which jolted us up, as Elissa made the landing. Dramatically, mind you, like a superhero landing from the sky. A ring of dust and debris blew outward from us. Elissa spun her hammer about her wrist for the final touch.

We could hear animals and monster skittering away from us. The forest looked magical. Light was streaming through the canopy in a picturesque scene. The trees were a vibrant green. And if not for our grand entrance, it would likely be teeming with all sorts of wildlife.

I scanned the forest with Locate. There were no humans around, but there were a few interesting things in this forest. Apparently, aside from the unicorn Justus had directed us to hunt down. It looked like a fairy tale forest, but it seemed to be filled with monsters of various shapes and sizes. But we weren’t here for the local fauna. Just the local resident unicorn. If it even existed. For all I knew, this could all be a joke, and we were the butt of it. I think I’d step in and have a word with Justus if it was a prank.

So how do we find that thing?

As Elissa was about to take a step forward, a noise, something… are those the sounds of horse hooves on the forest soil? But Locate wasn’t picking up anything. It wouldn’t have been in range, so how did we hear it?

“Hoooooooooooo…”

In the distance, something called out. It sounded bizarre.

Elissa covered her ears with her hands for some reason.

“Elissa…”

“Hero… I can’t stand that… noise!”

“Hoooooooooooooooooo-“

I saw a glimmer of light to our left and instinctively controlled Elissa’s body to jump to the right.

Suddenly a thin, rainbow-coloured beam of light pierced through the forest, the trees, and everything and impacted behind us with an explosion of… flower petals?!

Shit, what the hell was with that thing? Was it sniping us with that ridiculous beam from so far away?

“Elissa! We need to get close to it, otherwise we’ll get hit!!”, I called out.

“Ugh… those flowers… they’re so disgusting Hero, and that light… it’s making me sick!” she responded between heavy breaths. She looked like she was about to throw up.

It didn’t seem to have any effect on me. Was it particularly difficult to face off against this unicorn for Demon Lords? Is this why Justus wanted us to do it for him?

“Alright, Elissa, this is too dangerous for you. Hold on to Rodd tight and close your eyes. I will block your ears. I will control your body for this battle. Sounds good?”

“Sounds good… Hero,” Elissa replied, while clutching her knees. If it was this bad kilometres from the unicorn, how bad would it be if she saw one directly?

I could see another glimmer of light charging towards us. We had no time. I did what I said and immediately took over Elissa’s body. I launched us forward, barely dodging the incoming beam, creating a sonic boom in the process. I directed our trajectory with the wings on Elissa’s back.

Given our strength, we ripped through the forest, trees and all in a beeline toward the source of the light.

A rainbow ball of light, like a soap bubble, suddenly appeared above us. Inside it was a white, white horse. It was beautiful. It had a long, flowing white mane, and it was looking straight at us with piercing blue eyes. And atop its forehead was a magnificent horn, shining like a gemstone. And then it smiled. I felt Elissa’s soul recede within itself. A feeling of utter disgust, despair and revulsion overcame her. She was shuddering.

I could hear the creature neighing happily in front of us. A thoughtless smile. Then in swung its neck backwards and the forward, launching the massive rainbow bubble towards us. I evaded by kicking off a large nearby tree. When the bubble impacted the ground, a huge blast blew Elissa off to the side until we struck a rocky outcrop in the forest.

Where the blast went off, a rainbow appeared, with the forest regenerating even more lush than it was, all in fast-forward.

Really, what the hell was this thing?

It gently floated toward the ground. And begun charging at us, on the ground. Its hooves making the distinctive sound of a galloping horse.

“Hooooooooooooo”

Oh, shut up! I’m going to beat you into a pulp. I sprinted at it while it did the same. We met mid-way and while it tried to skewer Elissa with its horn, I deftly morphed her side to avoid it, while slapping it with full force with Rodd. The shockwave stripped all the nearby trees of foliage. It felt like hitting metal with metal.

The unicorn tumbled, bounced a few times after the impact, and landed some 2km away.

“Hoooooooooooooooo”

Fuck! It wasn’t dead after a direct hit?

Three flashes, and the rainbow beam, this time swinging in a wide arc, carved the surrounding trees and rocks like a sharp knife. I barely just avoided it by pushing Elissa down onto the ground with the wings, which were now sliced clean off! We took damage from this thing? At level 200?

Elissa was getting better. I could see it. She wasn’t reacting as badly anymore. She was getting used to it, even though I had no clue why she felt the way she did about that unicorn. The sight of the horse didn’t bother me at all, just the sound of it was annoying. We’d need to get closer to it again.

I threw Rodd, spinning, in its direction to distract it, and sprinted behind it at the same speed.

It was trying to float and create another one of the rainbow bubbles. I jumped off the spinning Rodd towards the beast.

This time, we collided directly in the air. I struck it in the flank with Elissa’s fist, but the beast spun and struck Elissa on the left shoulder with his hooves. It felt like being hit with a rocket. Both beast and Elissa shot off in different directions from the impacts.

This was like one of these dreams I’d have as a kid where no matter how much I punched someone, I couldn’t kill them!

I had enough of playing around. After recovering from the fall, I ran at full speed, sonic booms reverberating behind me, charging the beast once more. On the way I nimbly picked up Rodd.

The unicorn was launching rapid-fire rainbow beams at us. I just took them face on, dodging only slightly to avoid Elissa’s head being damaged, but took all other hits directly, and healed them with (Re)Construct. It was a battle of attrition, and I was about to end it early.

As the unicorn came into view, I lifted Rodd above my head and jumped simultaneously. The beast fired off a rainbow beam into Elissa’s heart, which took a chunk of MP to heal while we were airborne. I’m sorry, Elissa, just bear with me one more second.

I swung the hammer right down as the beast launched at as with its powerful hind legs.

It got to us first in mid-air, burying its glittery horn in Elissa’s stomach. I shifted away any important organs a split second before. Another chunk of MP had gone.

It was time! I brought the hammer down with all of Elissa’s might onto the unicorn’s back, hearing a bone-shattering sound. It launched toward the nearby ground in a massive explosion of fire (the hammer was travelling so fast it ignited the surrounding air).

“Hoooooooooooooo..”

The fucking this wasn’t dead, but that wasn’t my plan anyway. Looking down at the crater below as I regenerated our wings to slow our fall. I used my trump card.

(Eye)Corrupt!

A black veil appeared in between the dust until it entirely wrapped the unicorn around. It pulsed and writhed like a worm.

I landed right next to it and returned control to Elissa.

“Is it over, Hero?” she asked, opening her eyes.

“Should be, I used Corrupt on it. It should be a bit easier on the eyes now,” I reassured her.

If you can’t beat them, make them join you!

The writhing stopped, and the veil absorbed into the creature. Technically, not what we agreed with Justus, but we’d cross that bridge when we got to it.

It stood up, on its six legs. Black fur covering its body. It still looked like a horse, but the horn was gone, instead there were two twisted horns on its head. There were four pairs of black wings coming from its sides. It still looked majestic. The blue eyes were now red. And I could still sense a trace of purity coming off the thing, but a much more malevolent kind of purity. When it turned to us, its horns set red ablaze.

“It’s so pretty!” Elissa called out, her eyes sparking.

“Hrmph”

Wait, did it just “hrmph” us?

It turned on its six legs, and bolted.

On come on! After all that trouble?!

“Elissa, chase after that thing? I’m irritated, so I’m going to give it a piece of my mind.”

“Alright, Hero!”, Elissa said as she broke into a supersonic sprint.

We caught up to the beast quickly.

(Abyssal)Command: Stop.

It stopped immediately, nearly tripping itself over. Hmm, I guess it really is an abyssal creature now. Not getting away that easily.

“Elissa, what should we do with it?” I asked.

“I want to keeeeep it!! It’s so cute!”, she bounced on her feet.

“Un, you realise this was just moments ago, the unicorn that you couldn’t stand so much?”

“Yes, but it’s different now. It’s so cool! I want to ride it!”

If I had a face and a palm, I’d be probably connecting the two right now.

“Alright, but who will take care of it?” I asked.

“I’m up to the task, Hero! Can we please keep it, pleaaase?!” Elissa was looking at the frozen creature with stars in her eyes.

I think I was too soft on Elissa, but when she got like this, I couldn’t help myself.

“Alright, but you have to take care of it.”

“I will!”

I guess it was settled then. It was going to be annoying to use (Abyssal)Command all the time. So we’d make a contract with it. One of the benefits of this skill was that I could potentially force an abyssal creature of any level to contract with me.

(Abyssal)Command: You will form a contract of servitude with me. Serve me with complete loyalty without ever betraying me. I will be your only Master until the day you die.

“Nhergh!”

I touched the steed with a tentacle to seal the deal.

It grew larger instantly, and the sheen of its coat now appeared more lustrous. The fire on its two horns turned to a blueish flame.

[Subcontract established. Duration: lifetime of Sparkles the Abyssal Bicorn.]

It was all done… hold on. “Sparkles”?! This thing was called Sparkles?! Who the fuck named this thing? Even Elissa seemed to like it!

It was already late afternoon, and I had enough of this thing for a lifetime.

I left it to Elissa to climb its back and go for a joy-ride. With each step, it left a train of decay in the forest. I guess the reign of Sparkles the Unicorn had come to an end and now Sparkles the Bicorn was the new top dog in town. I don’t think I’d ever get used to calling it that…

Elissa and I decided to take him with us home. So we flew back up to the looming Island of Rozpacz, atop the bicorn.

When we landed, Justus was still at the edge of the island. Probably anxious to hear what happened.

When he asked us about Sparkles. Elissa just said, “Oh, we found Sparkles in the forest, and he helped us defeat that terrible unicorn you told us about. He’s a good steed, Demon Lord Justus. I hope you don’t mind if we take him to our Castle.”

Surprisingly, he agreed, no doubt, elated about the unicorn from his nightmares having been disposed of and not thinking straight. He didn’t feel the unicorn’s presence anymore so he was certain it was dead.

He even complimented its name, saying, “Sparkles? What an illustrious name for a bicorn, Demon Lord Elissa.”

Was I the mad one here, or was it those two?

Whatever, now our castle would need to have stables. I’m sorry for making you do all this work, Castle-kun!