I Just Wanted To Live but I Somehow Became Better Than the Protagonist

“Is, is that so…” Qin Shidream’s face had turned a shade deeper, her voice trembling as she spoke.

“Of course.” Ye Yong’s hand glided from her wrist up her arm, only to suddenly slip away at her shoulder, the conversation taking a turn: “The general meaning of this part of the sword technique…”

“Hmm? Oh… oh…” The little heart that had been racing within Qin Shidream seemed to plummet alongside Ye Yong’s hand, a wave of inexplicable disappointment washing over her. Even Ye Yong’s explanation struggled to hold her focus.

As for why Ye Yong chose not to continue, it was because he wished for Qin Shidream to take the initiative. Her nature was more passive—not quite submissive, but not far from it. To coax her into action, he needed to tease her to a certain point and then halt, allowing her to carry on.

“Are you listening?” Though each sword technique bore its own characteristics, they shared similarities within the realm of swordsmanship. At Ye Yong’s current level, explaining the initial concepts was not difficult, yet after his analysis, Qin Shidream offered no response.

“Yes, yes… but I still don’t quite understand. Could you explain it again?” In truth, Qin Shidream had absorbed little, her thoughts a chaotic swirl.

Ye Yong’s lips curled slightly. Her voice, so taut and laced with anxiety, was a curious novelty. In the tales, she had left an impression of an icy, aloof empress, speaking little, her heart as unyielding as ice, never swayed.

“Not a problem.” Ye Yong gently grasped her hand, his fingertips swirling in her palm, and repeated, “Did you understand?”

“I, I think I got the gist.” Yet, she still hadn’t truly grasped it. Qin Shidream wondered if Ye Yong was doing this on purpose, but oddly enough, she didn’t mind.

“Then, could you repeat it back to me?”

“Hmm…” Qin Shidream didn’t even know what she had just said, nor how to repeat it.

Ye Yong, seeing her stammering without a coherent thought, couldn’t help but chuckle. Qin Shidream shot him a reproachful glance over her shoulder: “Honestly, please don’t tease me.”

—

Just Once

Slowly, Qin Shidream began to adapt to the current situation. She sighed, “I never thought I would be so close to a man.”

“After all, people do change.”

“Indeed. Ever since I became aware, I’ve been buried in my training. I once asked my mother what the purpose of cultivation was. She told me it was to rise above others, to act without needing to heed anyone’s gaze. I’ve always believed that, and it became my goal. But now, it seems my aspirations are beginning to shift.”

“Shift to what?”

“I won’t tell you.”

Ambiguity always quickens the heartbeat; some things need not be spoken aloud to be understood.

Ye Yong felt the atmosphere was just right, pulling Qin Shidream into his embrace, his face resting against her head, as if admiring a precious treasure, his fingers playing with her jade-like, smooth hands.

Qin Shidream, once tense, gradually relaxed. She experienced once more how delightful and soothing it was to be with the one she cherished. Ye Yong’s breath, his warmth, his touch—all of it filled her with an indescribable comfort, making her wish to remain in this moment forever.

Noticing that Qin Shidream had fully leaned against him, Ye Yong understood she was no longer as anxious as before. He slowly reached out, lifting her delicate chin, tilting his head to gaze at her.

Qin Shidream realized what might happen next, her eyes darting away: “Master warned me not to have too intimate… contact with men.”

In truth, she felt no resistance within; it was merely shyness that compelled her to find an excuse, to buy herself a moment to prepare mentally.

Ye Yong saw through her thoughts, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth: “This won’t cost you your essence; just once, it’s just once.”

“Hmm…” Qin Shidream’s gaze flitted left and right, then met Ye Yong’s, only to dart away again, her face flushed like the dawn, murmuring softly, “Just… just once.”

With that, Qin Shidream closed her eyes.

Long, curled eyelashes trembled with tension, the eyelids fluttering as if caught in a storm, even her breath held captive, a sight both endearing and fragile.

Ye Yong made no move, simply gazing at her.

Her heart was a tangled mess, time stretching infinitely, and after what felt like an eternity, nothing happened. Qin Shiming couldn’t help but crack her eyes open a sliver, only to find Ye Yong staring intently at her. It was strange, so she fully opened her eyes, “Wha—… Mmm!”

But in the next breath, her words were silenced, her slightly parted red lips captured. Qin Shiming’s eyes widened in shock, pupils constricting.

She never expected Ye Yong to strike when she was completely unguarded, her mind blank, filled only with overwhelming surprise and shyness, accompanied by a flicker of delight that began to swell.

Ye Yong’s hands, once restrained, began to wander. If they were face to face, his hands would find her back, but Qin Shiming was turned away, nestled against him…

Feeling Ye Yong’s hands moving across her, Qin Shiming let out soft, muffled sounds, her breath quickening, yet there was no resistance—only the sensation of heat radiating from every place he touched.

Before long, the intensity of her first experience overwhelmed her. Leaning against Ye Yong’s chest, she gasped for air, her body limp, head spinning, eyes glazed. If asked her name now, she would likely hesitate before answering.

Ye Yong took a deep breath, striving to maintain his composure, to keep his head clear.

Truth be told, he felt an overwhelming urge to carry the Empress Qin to bed. But for her future and destiny, he knew he must hold back, at least until she embraced the ancient legacy of her clan.

What was the value of pi again? Why was Pluto cast out from the nine planets? What lies within a black hole?

In that moment, Ye Yong could only distract himself with random thoughts to stave off his desires.

After a while, feeling considerably calmer, Ye Yong glanced down at Qin Shiming, who was secretly stealing glances at him. Their eyes met, and she quickly averted her gaze, lowering her head, too shy to meet his stare.

“How does it feel?” Ye Yong asked with a smile.

“Um…”

A response that danced around the question, curious and elusive.

“How about… another round?”

Silence hung in the air for a moment.