I Just Wanted a Quiet Life... So Why Am I an Uma Musume Trainer?!

I got carried away talking… but my sour morning mood flipped sky-high. Who'd have thought I'd find a ramen enthusiast here? Gotta hit up a shop together sometime.

Anyway, time to head to my room and tackle some work. The menu's done, but I still need to sort out distance-specific plans. My training methods apparently seem bizarre to most people. Even the guy who raised me said, "It's beyond interesting, beyond baffling—words fail me. I couldn't dream this up!" No clue what he meant, but it wasn't a diss, so I guess I'm not wrong.

"Alright, long-distance is set, so next up is mid-distance. Probably center it around 2000 meters…" I muttered.

Ding-dong, ding-dong.

"Huh? Lunchtime already?" I said.

" Hikigaya-kun, you didn't even notice I came in, did you?" Aoi asked.

"…What? When'd you get here?"

"I knew it! You didn't react at all, so I wondered. How focused were you!?"

"Sorry about that. It's a habit from when I started in this industry—when I'm locked in, I don't hear a thing. A tap on the shoulder or the bell like just now snaps me out, but otherwise, nada."

"That's… intense," Aoi said.

"Maybe it's just me, but you seem to get weirded out by me a lot."

"N-No way, just your imagination!"

Her eyes were totally darting. Come on, Aoi.

"Whatever. You heading to the cafeteria?" I asked.

"Yup, meeting with the girl I'm assigned to for some planning."

"Cool. I might eat with Minamisaka-san or someone. Though trainers don't usually hit the cafeteria much…"

Cafeteria

As predicted, not a single trainer was here. So, I'm eating alone, but the stares and whispers around me are hard to ignore.

Nom nom.

They're just stares, though—no big deal. I'd chat if someone joined, but I'm fine solo. I'm built for this.

"Um, hi, Trainer-san!" Rice Shower chirped.

"Oh, Rice. Classes done? Good work."

"Yup! Um, can Rice eat here with you?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Th-Then, excuse me…"

Man, for her size, Rice sure packs away the food. That's a hefty portion. Eat up and grow strong, kid. What am I, her dad?

"Um, Trainer-san… about the running tips you mentioned yesterday. Are you free after school? Rice really wants you to check my form soon…"

"Sounds good. After school it is. We talked about 3000 meters—still good? You can pick."

"Then let's stick with 3000! Since you said it, Rice wants to try it!"

"Got it. We'll do that. I'll be at the track."

"Yay!"

"Pardon the sudden visit. May I speak with you?" a new voice cut in.

"Huh? What's up?" I said.

"Operation initiated. Commencing [Q&A]. You are identified as a trainer. Question: Did you create and provide this morning's menu for Biwa Hayahide?"

…Another quirky Uma Musume with a robotic vibe.

"Yeah, that's me. But let's be clear—I'm not sharing that menu. Hayahide asked for it, and I didn't expect her to execute it like that. So, no details."

"Bad status [Disappointed] confirmed. That is highly unfortunate," she said.

"Rice kinda wanted to know a bit, too…" Rice mumbled.

"Sorry about that," I said. "Wait, you're Miho no Bourbon, right?"

"Correct, I am Miho no Bourbon. But I have no recollection of giving you my name."

"You ran the mile in yesterday's mock race, yeah? Didn't place high, but your form stuck with me."

"!" Her eyes sharpened. "What was your impression of my performance?"

"Let's see… Your style suits sprints. You had legs left, but your stamina couldn't keep up."

Bourbon's thoughts raced: …Just like other trainers. He'll say, "But hill training could fix that!"

"What'd you say?" she asked.

"I said hill training would help. Your form's sprint-oriented, but with better pacing, stamina, and technique, you could handle a mile. You were charging ahead blindly last time."

"…"

…Uh, why's she frozen?

"Status [Elation] confirmed. This is the first time I've received desired advice at this academy," Bourbon said.

"Really?"

"Yes. Another question: What is your name?"

"Didn't mention it, huh? I'm Hikigaya Hachiman, new guy, started two days ago."

"Hikigaya Hachiman… Stored in memory. I have a request."

"Lemme guess—want me to check your form?"

"…I'm shocked. How did you know?"

"It's the obvious flow of this convo. No problem. Rice here's already on for after school, so join us."

"New mission [Have Trainer review form after school] added. Thank you."

"Got it."

Bourbon sat beside me, pulling out… a jelly pouch? She started sipping.

"Um, Bourbon-san? That's all for lunch?" Rice asked.

"Sufficient energy acquired. No issue."

"R-Really…" Rice said.

"Hey, she says it's fine, but is that really enough?" I whispered. "It's just a supplement."

"Rice skips meals sometimes, but I eat way more than that. Bourbon's… probably not enough, right?" Rice whispered back.

Now I'm worried. Can she really race on just that?