I Hate Being The Protagonist

It would be fun to tell you I died and my story ends here, but it wouldn't be true.

Light woke me up in a hangover state, at least that's what I imagine it to be since I've never drank alcohol. I covered it with one hand in annoyance, feeling the ground I was sitting on, disoriented with a splitting migraine.

I let my eyes adjust to the light, after which I saw something I recognized very well. My mother's treasury. Then I remembered something.

After I was killed, there was a clear voice telling me what's about to happen. It was a woman's voice—charming and graceful in tone—telling me I'll be resurrected back where I started. There were flashes of blue, a crystalline floor and... I can't remember anything else. The mark on my chest is a curse of resurrection, bringing me back to life two years ago when my mother died.

I woke up, surveying my surroundings.

There was no demon, but my mother's clothes were still there. Gabriel was nowhere to be found, but his ship was waiting outside.

Have I been truly resurrected into the past? How is this even possible? If this is the case, why isn't Gabriel here? Death magic exists, but I've never heard someone being resurrected like this. There are stories of people attaining immortality, but never being brought back to life...

"Greetings young Adam, I was instructed to take you into your new home."

This guy was the one that drove Gabriel and I into Eviansis. If he's here, why didn't the angel remain? I'll leave that question for later.

"Can I speak to Gabriel?" I asked my driver.

"If you manage to get a reservation to speak to his greatness, you would be in the same category as the Hands themselves, hohoho."

Got it. Seems like I won't be able to reach the angel so easily. He might have the answers I need, but that is a long shot from here. Right now, I need to prioritize getting to Rache and checking if he's alive.

"Hey driver! Are you taking me into the center of Holdanis? To see Rache?"

"Ah, you're already acquainted with your new caretaker?" He asks, piloting the craft.

Thank Heavens, I guess some gods heard my prayer.

I had so many unanswered questions. The main one was "Why me?"

Why has my life turned upside down like this? Why did my mother and best friend have to die, why did Rache have to die, and why did I have to die? I guess I'm still alive for now, along with Rache.

I was grateful for being able to walk on this ground again, but also wary of my future. The man which killed me carried a deliberate attack on me, luring me into his trap like a spider does to flies. I got caught up in his net.

I also had all kinds of questions about Oliver. Was that even Oliver, or did Oliver die the day we fiddled with the haunted house? I have to find it out without venturing into that hell again. I hope I won't have to kill Oliver the moment I see him.

Some questions of mine were half-answered though. I was still enlightened. Traveling to the past, I should've been stripped of my enlightenment. I guess once you become a higher being, you always remain so.

My body carried that 11 year old biological look, which made me exhale in gratitude. I have a reminder that all of this wasn't some hallucination, and my enlightenment served as proof.

Another important question rises that I don't want answered any time soon. Is this resurrection a one time thing, or will I be brought back if I die again? There is no way of testing that theory, so I'll just leave it be like this...

-

After arriving in Holdanis, I'm dropped off at my mansion that I knew very well.

Opening the front doors is a butler I couldn't be more grateful is alive. Rache walks out in his elegant manner, closing the distance between us.

"Greetings Adam, my name is Rache, and I will be your personal caretaker as well as servant. I offer my deepest condolences for what happ—"

He is interrupted by a traumatized child hugging him as tightly as he could.

I cry my eyes out, feeling his silky smooth suit under my head.

"There there, Lord Adam. It must've been hard. I'm deeply sorry for what happened to your family."

"Thank you!" I wail.

He thought my outburst was due to sadness for the loss of my mother, but the tears were ones of joy. The joy of my favorite butler and best friend. The only one I considered family in this world.

I thanked him not for his politeness at expressing his honest concern for me, but for him being alive. I treasured Rache more than anything in this world, and I was happier to know he was alive then to see I was resurrected.

I pulled away, looking at his pointy mustache falling downwards during this emotional moment. Rache was a very intelligent man, but also one with a big heart. His empathy for others is what makes him a beautiful person. His kindness knows no bounds, and it melts my soul.

"Oh man, it's good to see you."

"Good to see me? Do I remind you of a servant you had? If so, I'm glad to meet your expectations."

"Rache, you're the best damn butler I know!" I yell ecstatically.

"What a lively young man. I hope to be of good service."

"Let's go inside, I'm dying for some baked potatoes."

Rache's baked potatoes were a culinary miracle. He knows how to make 20 different meals with only potatoes. They are truly his specialty, and he likes to eat them with almost every meal.

"Lord Adam, you seem to be a bit bigger than what your age says. They told me an 8 year old is being sent here, but you really grew like a mushroom after rain."

"Oh, they must've got it wrong," I note, knowing I should be 8 years old right now, but am an enlightened 11 year old.

"I'm actually 11 years old."

"Oh? Did they write the age wrong?" Rache asks, taking his reading glasses out along with a sheet of paper.

It's like he can summon anything the situation deems necessary. How does he do that? Knowing all kinds of magic, Rache still surprises me.

"I'll write it off. How about we send you to the 5th grade then?" Rache asks, scribbling my age.

"I couldn't agree more. Work your magic."

After that conversation, Rache got in contact with the teachers in my school, sending me to the 5th grade in Class C. It didn't matter which class I attended since I would quickly be moved back into Obiwon.

Before I moved into Obiwon I had something to solve. About one week is needed for the professionals to arrive in my school on short notice like this. If a new kid is accepted into a school, a teacher will test their magic level, after which officials are called if the student fits the margin.

I could enjoy another week with Rache, and would enjoy my stay.

-

After my first day of class finished, I searched for a specific student. The nerdy face I knew all too well has shown itself just outside, finishing class at the same time as I did.

I approached Oliver, seeing he isn't enlightened, and doesn't radiate any particular aura.

"Hi there, my name is Adam," I politely say while extending my hand.

He accepts the handshake, introducing himself. I already knew everything about him, from his fascinations down to the type of vegetable he doesn't like.

I talked to him, sensing no immediate deviation from the ordinary. I questioned him further, pressing into his interests. He opened up quickly, thinking he met someone similar to him for the first time.

I sweet-talked to him, making a new friend. If only that friend knew the truth. I despised his look, as it reminded me of my trauma. I had to bear it for now, until I get all the information I need.

In my spare time, I hung out with Rache and played Evil A. I still couldn't beat him though, but I was certainly close.

"So, do you like my gameplay?" I ask, looking into Rache's furrowed eyes.

"You play magnificently for a living being. For an 11 year old... I would say you play impossibly good. Your understanding of this game is like someone who played for decades, with an amazing mentor at that."

"I did have an amazing mentor..." I utter softly.

"Didn't you say that you never played this before, Lord Adam?" Rache asks with confusion.

"I did, you were my mentor," I chuckle.

"My my, I taught you this game yesterday. I couldn't have taught you these strategies in such a short amount of time. You're excellent. I know you were supposed to rule a kingdom, but with a strategic head like yours, you could lead the entire world."

"Ah, you're flattering me Rache."

I wanted to tell Rache the truth so bad, but I knew better than to do that. Revealing information as important as that could end badly, with another misfortune striking my poor heart. I would refrain from telling people about my revival, not just because it's a cognitohazard, but because convincing them is pointless. If I got nothing out of it, why do it in the first place?

If I confessed to Rache about my past, he would get overwhelmed, knowing his personality. It wouldn't be hard for his genius mind, but for his heart as his emotions would get overwhelmed. He wants to please me and serve me the best he can, so if he heard that I died while searching for him, he would be super stressed out.

-

After a good week of living with Rache and forming a bond with Oliver, I invited Oliver to a riverside I knew well. Rache and I hiked near that river and would fish in it, so I knew how desolate the place was.

I told Oliver there was a project we would work on there, a surfing ship that we can use to travel on the river. He was excited to build something with me, so he accepted it immediately.

Being an 8 year old nerd, he looked at 11 year old me like a king. I was the light in his life, being his only real friend.

We reached the river, about a 40 minute walk from my house. I looked left and right, careful not to be seen. I coulds ense if people got close so this would go smoothly. There is no one to interrupt this.

"So tell me Oliver, who is that man?"

"What man?"