NOVEL WEB Chapter 5: Rope
The morning was silent, damp with gray light. Rain traced lazy lines down the window like fingers trying to reach her from the outside. June sat on the floor, knees pulled to her chest, listening to the leaky faucet in her kitchenette tick out seconds she no longer needed.
The rope was still in the closet.
Still coiled.
Still waiting.
She didn't look at it last night.
Couldn't.
Not because she was scared, that had passed days ago. Fear had hollowed out its corner of her chest and moved on. No, it wasn't fear.
It was fatigue.
"I'll do it tomorrow," she had muttered.
And here she was.
Tomorrow.
She brushed her teeth with mechanical precision, staring blankly into the cracked mirror above the sink. Her reflection looked tired but clean, like someone doing her best to look presentable for her own execution.
The toothbrush clattered into the cup.
Her hand went to the closet handle.
She pulled.
The rope was exactly where she left it, tucked beside a pile of unopened bills and last year's winter coat. Still neatly coiled like a gift no one ever wanted.
She picked it up,.
The fiber was Jagged. Rough. Sterile.
"Functional," she whispered, running her thumb along the fibers.
It didn't feel heavy.
But it meant weight.
She stood there holding it, staring out at the gray rain. The city was a blur beyond the glass, half-alive, half-asleep.
She imagined a version of herself out there in the fog, walking briskly to catch a bus, coffee in one hand, earbuds in the other. Maybe she worked in an office. Maybe she had a cat.
Maybe she didn't keep rope in her closet.
She laughed, dry and humorless.
"Alternate universe me would hate me too."
She left the rope on her bed and got dressed. Same black hoodie. Same jeans. The uniform of the invisible.
Rain still pattered against the window like a lullaby. She grabbed her umbrella, then left it behind.
What was the point?
She stepped outside into the cold.
Halfway to nowhere, she passed the hardware store where she'd bought the rope weeks ago.
The sign buzzed faintly. The same dead-eyed clerk was there behind the counter, scrolling on his phone. He didn't look up.
She didn't stop.
"He probably wouldn't even remember me," she thought. "Just another face with death in her eyes."
Two blocks later, she saw someone holding out a plastic cup, asking for change.
She slowed, considered.
The man looked up. He wasn't old. Just ruined.
"Spare anything?" he asked, hopeful.
Before she could answer, his gaze drifted, over her shoulder, to someone behind her. He shifted the cup toward them instead.
She reached into her pocket.
No change.
Not even a lie to offer.
She kept walking.
It was a long walk for someone going nowhere.
She ended up at the public library, not for books, but because it was warm and quiet and no one asked questions.
She sat at a table in the back, rope still at home like a lover waiting for her.
She pulled out her phone. Still no messages. No missed calls. No notifications.
Just the battery draining quietly in her palm.
She opened her notes app and added one more thing to her list...
Things I'm Not Taking With Me...
The future
She stared at it for a long time.
Then added...
Regret
A group of high schoolers passed her table, laughing loudly. One of them knocked into her chair. Didn't apologize.
Didn't notice.
She didn't move.
The library closed at five.
She went home in the rain, soaked and silent.
The rope was still on the bed.
Waiting.
Like everything else in her life.
She picked it up and held it again. Felt its weight. Its purpose.
Stood in front of the mirror.
Tried a smile.
It looked real.
That was the worst part.
"I could die tonight and no one would even wonder why."
She tied the first knot.
Practiced it once.
Twice.
Perfected it.
Set it down.
Took a deep breath.
Then, quietly, as if confessing to the room...
"Maybe they'd be relieved."