I Gave Myself to the System

I had a nightmare.

It's been so long since I had one. The dream started with something terrifying but ended with someone I'd never forget. How could I? It'd been five years since she died, and yet, in my dream, she looked so alive, so real. I almost scoffed. How could someone look so good in my dreams after being dead for so long? My head's spinning. Why is it so hot? When did I even get home last night?

Snap out of it! Sunghoon had an accident last night. 

A surge of pain rippled through me again. This couldn't be a dream. How could I have slept at all?! My body started going numb. The panic rushed through my chest, making it impossible to breathe. I reached for my meds and swallowed two of them.

What exactly happened? I left the hospital then what….. I don't remember coming back home at all.

How did I get home? 

The doorbell rang, snapping me out of the painful thoughts. Who is it? I pushed myself up and rushed toward the door, almost wobbling.

And then, everything stopped. 

Sunghoon is standing right there. On his legs.

I dropped to the floor, my body trembling. 

This isn't happening.

"Bohyun, hey, are you okay?" His voice. That familiar voice. I could barely breathe. How is he here?

"Are you sick? I forgot your keys back home. I've been ringing the bell for ten minutes. Were you sleeping?"

My throat tightened. "Why are you here? No—how can you be here? How are you walking?"

Sunghoon stared at me like I'd lost my mind. "What are you babbling about? Did you hit your head or something? Your hair's a mess, dude. Go shower. We're going to be late."

I stared at him. "Sunghoon... you should be in the hospital. I must be dreaming, right?"

"Want me to hit you now? To prove that you are not dreaming?"

"Yes, hit me! Hit the crap out of me so that I can wake up!"

"This shithead finally lost it," he muttered under his breath before stepping closer and slapping me on the back of the head. "Satisfied? You're not dreaming. Now go get ready. I'll make breakfast. We're going to be late."

He's right. This isn't a dream. It's too real. But something doesn't add up.

"Where are we going?"

He glared at me. "What is wrong with you? Are you auditioning for a drama? Seriously, your acting's too good right now."

"I'm not joking. Sunghoon, last night... you had an accident while we were skateboarding. You had surgery! The doctor said you'd never walk again!" My voice cracked, panic rising in my chest.

"What the hell are you talking about? We didn't go skateboarding last night. We went to a restaurant and drank—for the first time together, remember? I'm fine. Look at me!" He grabs my shoulders, shaking me.

"Fine, fine." I stammered.

"Now, go and shower!"

"But... where are we going now?"

He threw his hands up, clearly exasperated. "This bonehead! It's our first day at university! Opening day, man! You shouldn't have gotten drunk last night."

I froze. Opening day? Something wasn't adding up. Why would we have an opening day? "Sunghoon, what's the date today?" I asked, confused.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "It's March 01. What's gotten into you?"

"What year?" I asked, gulping.

"What the hell— seriously? I cannot deal with you now!" 

I sprinted to my room and grabbed my phone. He was right. March 01.

Freshman Year.

TWO YEARS BACK!

My eyes widened in disbelief. No, this couldn't be happening.

I stumbled back to the living room and turned on the TV. The date flashed on the screen—March 01.

Sunghoon didn't say a word, just quietly watching me from the kitchen. I must have looked insane to him. And honestly, I felt insane.

I needed time to think. I headed for the bathroom and turned on the shower, the cold water hitting me like a wake-up call. Where was I last night? I remembered... the hospital. Yes. But then... what?

Flashes of memory assaulted me—a truck chasing me, speeding down the highway at over 140 kilometres per hour. And there, on the road… Aera. Jinwoo's girlfriend. They are both from my class. Jinwoo, from our skateboarding team. Why was she standing in the middle of the road?

I swerved left to avoid hitting her. My car—what happened to my car?

Aera! Did I... did I hit her? Did I kill her?

I felt my chest tighten. Panic clawed at me once again, my breathing becoming shallow and erratic. I shut off the water and stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying to steady myself.

I looked... a bit younger. The face staring back at me, the haircut—this was how I looked when I first started university. 

What the hell is going on?

Nothing made sense. 

Did I just time travel two years back?

No. This can't be real. 

. . .

"I don't know what you were dreaming about, but you were babbling like crazy, man. Seriously, you were all over the place in the morning. I genuinely got scared," Sunghoon snickered, nudging me as we sat on the bus. "It was almost cute seeing you freak out over me, dude."

I stayed quiet, staring out the window. How could I tell him that it wasn't just a nightmare? That I'd actually travelled back in time? Who'd believe me? Why was the truck chasing me? Why was Aera standing there in the middle of the street? Most importantly, did I really kill her?

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. "Oh, we're back to 'Silent Bohyun' mode, huh? You talked more in the morning than you've said all week."

I ignored him, my thoughts- a mess right now. I couldn't respond. The time travel was somehow linked to that woman who saved me five years ago from the last year of the timeline I came back from, but the memories were jumbled, and I couldn't quite piece them together. I had no idea why I was back, but one thing was certain—I wasn't going to let anything happen to Sunghoon this time. To do that, I'd have to stop skateboarding, and more importantly, stop him from forming the Tungsten Riders—our skateboarding team, which was formed in April, our first freshman year. It felt like a knife to the gut. And so, the only way to protect him... was to quit skateboarding at first, and I would think of a second step- whether that would be ignoring Sunghoon or even leaving his side.

As I opened my mouth to speak, Sunghoon interrupted, "Everything going okay with the company?"

"Yes, I guess," I muttered absentmindedly.

"You're an adult now, you know? You should start thinking about taking over," he added, his voice unusually serious.

I blinked at him. There he went again. He was always concerned about my company and especially my uncle. He had never been a fan of my uncle, honestly. I felt like he'd always try to tell me about my uncle hiding something from me. My company, XAP- the biggest software company in South Korea, was just something my uncle managed while I skateboarded and studied. Sure, there was the family will that said I'd take control when I hit twenty, but I wasn't planning on dealing with that until that last December, when I'd suddenly taken an interest in the company, specifically in creating a fashion branch.

"Why are you bringing this up again?" I asked, genuinely curious.

He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "Just seems like a smart move. Get in there early, know your stuff. You're not planning to slack off forever, right?"

I stared at him. Maybe he had a point. He wasn't wrong. If I joined the company, it would give me the perfect excuse to ignore skateboarding and to stop him from getting involved and, ultimately, save him from that accident. 

. . .

"Department of Computer Science & Engineering, this way, please!" A senior shouted.

Seoul National University! Here we go again.  

Déjà vu wasn't just an expression anymore—it was my reality. As we stood there, surrounded by other students, I noticed Sunghoon's gaze fixed in the distance. Following his line of sight, I spotted her. Lee Yumi. The girl who had been Sunghoon's unspoken love since middle school, before he transferred to my school.

"You've got a thing for Lee Yumi, huh?" I blurted out, without thinking. A wave of regret hit me. Sunghoon had never told me about his crush until June that original last year. Yumi barely remembered him, let alone knew she had been his first love.

Sunghoon whipped around, eyebrows raised. "Wait, what? How do you know her?"

I hesitated, scrambling for a believable answer. There was no way I could tell him I knew everyone there..

"Oh, uh, I was behind her in line when we registered. Heard her name," I lied, trying to sound casual.

His eyebrow shot up. "You're telling me you just randomly heard her name and decided to call me out on it? That's a stretch, even for you."

I tried to play it cool. "Well, the way you're staring at her—it's a dead giveaway."

Sunghoon scoffed, trying to act tough, but the redness creeping up his neck betrayed him. "Whatever, I will tell you later."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Some things never changed.

And then... I saw her. Choi Aera.

She was just there, all okay, across the garden of the campus and I barely recognized her. Gone was the carefree girl I remembered. 

Wait! Is she skateboarding! I don't remember her skateboarding at all! It was Jinwoo, her boyfriend who was in our team!

She looked like an entirely different person. In her place was someone else entirely—dark, brooding, dressed in an oversized black and ash sweater that reached her thighs. Her long hair was cut with bangs that covered her forehead, and the long layers of her hair swayed gently in the wind.

What the hell happened to her?

Last night, when I saw her, she looked lost and was a complete mess, but this? This was a whole new level. It was like she'd become a completely different person overnight.

All I knew, this wasn't the Aera I remember.

The Aera I knew—bright, energetic, and full of life—was gone. But it was somehow relieving to see her alive.

But before I could think about it any further, Sunghoon elbowed me. "You okay, man? You look like you've seen a ghost."

I swallowed hard ignoring him.