I Don’t Want to Start a Story!

“Cheers!” Cy cried out while the majority of the pirate crew joined him in the toast. At first, the crew were a bit cold towards them when they first boarded their ship unexpectedly. The attitude was quickly dropped when the crew saw their captain’s warmth towards them. After that, it was only a matter of time before Cy was able to cosy up to them. “Alright, who wants their fate read?”

A few of the drunk pirates patiently got in line with dopey grins on their faces. Max wasn’t too sure if they really believed in the accuracy of his readings, but they seemed to enjoy the thrill of the possibility. He was about to join them when the first mate slammed his hand down on his shoulder causing him to jump. “The captain wants to talk to you. Alone.” He pointed over his shoulder to the door where the captain was standing before she slipped away behind it. Max hesitated leaving Cy alone but decided to play along. There had been no hostility towards them so far.

Entering the captain’s quarters, it was almost exactly what Max imagined it would look like except for a few quirky details. There was a stuffed doll on her desk, several vases of fresh flowers scattered around the room, and there were ten portraits of different beautiful women hanging on the walls. “Sit,” she gestured to the seat opposite her desk. While he took his place, she reached into a cabinet and took out two shot glasses and bottle after bottle of different liquors. “What’s your drink of choice? You don’t need to drink that watered-down pish the others are drinking.”

“Whiskey.” Max took a sip of the beer he had brought up with him. She was right. It was strongly watered-down.

“Given the opportunity, they would drink themselves to death.” She let out a small sigh before a smile appeared. “It’s been a long time since I met one of us. I’m BB.”

“Bee-Bee?”

“My nickname from my original world. I use it in pretty much every lifetime regardless of if it fits or not. It just gets confusing and annoying to change names so frequently. What name are you using this time?”

“Max.”

“Not bad.”

“I didn’t pick it.” Max began to relax more. When they had been offered a free ride to a port near the capital, Cy leapt at the offer without consulting him. It seemed to have worked out of them though. BB had been a good host so far. Cy got his confidence back with wooing over seamen. And even Max got a bit of a break. With being at sea and BB currently pursuing her story, the system wasn’t able to show many prompts. “I was found and named after a dead farm dog.”

BB struggled to contain her laughter as she handed him a shot of whisky before pouring one for herself. “I suppose there are worse names to go by.”

“Still in the middle of your story?” Max asked. He posed it like an innocent question. What he really meant to ask was whether they had been invited on board because of a sub-quest.

“You can relax,” BB said with a knowing smile. “I’m in the middle of a fantasy story with a goal to ‘find the most valuable treasure.’ Since it’s only a two-stars, I thought I could get away with a significant other as my ‘most valuable treasure.’ But the system is pointing me towards actual money and gems.” She let out a little snort to show her disapproval. Her tone darkened as she kept talking. “I’m in the middle of a sub-quest to get a million gaeles before winter comes. Neither of you are involved with it. Even if we take longer on this delivery, it wouldn’t make a difference. It’s almost complete anyway.” Max returned the smile but was slightly puzzled by her sudden animosity towards the topic. She chose this story, right? Was it an accident? “Enough about me and this boring tale! What story are you wrapped up in doing this time?”

“I’m not starting a story in this lifetime.”

“Oh,” BB was clearly taken aback. “Why? All this reincarnating got you down?” She thought about it for a second. “Is it even possible? I usually start one a day or two after waking up. The prompts just give me a headache if I don’t pick quickly.”

“It’s been a little difficult.” Max flatly admitted. “But not impossible, and not as challenging as a five-stars.” BB took a shot when she heard the words ‘five-stars.’ She must’ve experienced the challenges firsthand. “I’ve had the system try to box me in a few times. So far, I’ve been able to dodge them.”

“You’re going to have an even harder time at the capital. You two were from a village, right? Can you imagine what it’s like around all those people?”

“We’re technically going to a magic-community, Tsujuma. Cy says he’s from there. Heard of it?”

“I have, but I don’t have much information about it for you. They’re a secretive bunch, and my story isn’t steering me anywhere close to it. I know there was one of us that got in. Not sure if he’s still there, but I wouldn’t get close to him anyway. He’s a prat.”

“Remember his name?”

BB thought about it while she refilled their glasses. “Something like Jack. Or John… maybe Jake… I don’t know. It started with a ‘J.’ I would stay clear of him if given the chance.”

“Why? What did he do?” Territory disputes were common among them, but BB didn’t seem like the type.

“Stole one of my girls from me.” BB grumbled with more passion than Max had seen so far. “He goes both ways. So, if I were you, I would keep him away from your guy.”

“… My guy?” It took Max a moment to piece together what she was implying. “No! No, no. Cy and I are not like that.”

BB raised a sceptical eyebrow. “It’s cool, you know. There’s no judgement coming from me.”

“We’re not together-”

“We’re not together, but we’ve been travelling together for over a week and we’re going back to his hometown to meet his family,” BB said mockingly. Her smile only dropped when she saw Max wasn’t even willing to play along with the idea. “Alright! Alright, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m just playing cause I’m jealous.”

“If you’re jealous then you’re welcome to take him. I’ve been trying to get him off my back since the moment we met. The only reason we’re travelling together is because of a system prompt threatening to begin a story if he dies.”

“You’re pitching to the wrong team,” BB declared. She let out a small sigh. “You’re so lucky to still have freedom.”

The word set Max slightly on edge. Freedom? Was she talking about the system? “What do you mean ‘freedom?’”

“Do me a favour Max and look around. What do you see?”

Max wasn’t sure where their conversation was going anymore. “What do I see? It’s the captain of a pirate ship’s office.” She rolled her eyes. “You’ve got a few portraits hanging up-”

“Exactly!” BB leapt up with sudden enthusiasm. Buzzing with more energy than Max had seen so far, she approached the closest painting. It showed a pale woman in a yellow robe looking sternly. BB had clearly been waiting for this moment. “This is Sappho. One of my first and one of my favourites. Don’t let her serious expression fool you! She had one of the best senses of humour when we were alone together.” She excitedly walked up to the next portrait. “And this Aiko. Damn she was fun in bed! Too bad she got caught up in her brother’s claim for power and got killed because of it. Oh, I can’t forget Dilan-” Without hesitation, BB went on to explain every woman whose portrait was hanging around her office with a fond voice and frantic gestures.

Finally, she reached the last portrait beside the entrance. She took it off the wall to let Max look closely. The clothes shown in the portrait were a lot more modern as it showed a blonde woman in disco gear just outside a club. He was slightly envious that BB managed to score a world similar or the same as his original one, even if it did look forty years earlier from when he last lived there. He didn’t notice BB’s sudden change in tone. “Minna, my last lover before this life. She would often talk about this fantasy of hers. Every day, she would mention how romantic it would be to get swept up in a pirate’s arms and be taken out to sea.” Without hesitation, BB broke the frame against her office table causing Max to jump from the sudden anger. “Dumb bitch forgot to consider that most women would only want hookups and don’t want to spend most days of the year at sea. There’s also a severe lack of showers-”

“You were convinced by your last lover to become a pirate?” Max felt slightly unnerved as stared down at the abandoned portrait on the floor looking up at him, almost as if it were asking for help. “Did you end that story quickly?

“Relax. I was the love of her life, and I made sure it was a good and long life for her before moving on.” BB stared at the remains of the portrait as well before relaxing into a smile. “I’m a connoisseur of romance stories. There’s nothing better, and I just can’t get enough of them! I shouldn’t have deviated from my normal path. So many closeted women in this world… It really is tragic. In another life, I would’ve given one lucky woman the chance to make her love-life like the fantasy she always dreamed about. Of course, I wouldn’t be having such a hard time if it weren’t for how stigmatised my sexuality is in this world.”

“… And you can’t do that as a pirate because…?”

“One of the requirements imposed by the system is that my ship and I can’t stay on land for more than two days. And for each hour on land, I have to spend a day at sea when I return to it. The penalty for not complying is a curse causing any fresh water I touch to turn into sea water.” In other words, probable death without a prepared way around the curse.

“It’s hard to foster a meaningful relationship in that amount of time.” Max muttered semi-sympathetically. He couldn’t decide if he liked her approach to love. It was shallow, but her lovers wouldn’t have lived long enough to know it. A genuine pledge to be together for only their life.

“Damn right it is!”

“But I would’ve thought a romantic expert like yourself could start a relationship despite the restraints. How many romantic stories have you completed?”

“Seventy-two.”