I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

My name is Sato Kazuma.

I am a proud NEET.

With an ordinary background, ordinary talents, and an ordinary life, I thought my existence would continue to be just that—ordinary.

But on that fateful day… everything changed.

I bravely stepped forward to save a girl from a car accident (even though it was just a slow-moving tractor and no accident was likely). In doing so, I met my end (from the shock of my own misunderstanding).

A goddess appeared before me, moved by my courage (more like she laughed herself breathless at my embarrassing death) and sent me to another world to become a hero and defeat the Demon King (or so she said, though really, it was because she couldn't go back to the heavens unless I defeated the Demon King).

And now… I'm facing the greatest crisis of my life.

If no miracle occurs, I'm probably going to die here. This makes no sense! I'm supposed to be the future hero! Isn't the goddess right next to me?

How is it that I haven't even left the beginner's town, yet I'm already up against such a formidable opponent?

Could it be… the Demon King's army sensed my potential and decided to eliminate me before I could fully awaken?

Its colossal size, sanity-breaking eyes, rippling muscles, devouring maw, and nearly impenetrable hide…

This must be one of the Demon King's most powerful subordinates!

Curse my overwhelming talent! It seems I've attracted too much jealousy…

"What the heck are you rambling about, Weak-Chicken Kazuma? That's just a giant frog—the weakest monster in the area," Aqua said, her disdainful tone cutting through my self-important monologue.

"Aqua! Aqua! Stop just standing there! Save me!"

My legs flailed as I ran with all my might, but the gap between me and the giant frog didn't widen at all.

Being broke, I only had a basic dagger for a weapon. If I had full-body armor, I wouldn't need to worry about these frogs since they hate the taste of metal. But with just a dagger, I was utterly helpless, even against such a low-level creature.

My situation was dire, but Aqua…

"(´･ω･`)"

"Aqua—! Why are you just watching?! Have you betrayed me already?!"

"I don't like your tone, Kazuma. Don't you think you should show a bit more respect when asking for help? Maybe add 'Miss' to the end of my name…"

"Aqua-sama! Aqua-sama! Please save me!"

I've decided. The moment I get out of this mess, I'm burying this idiot goddess in the ground up to her neck and surrounding her with giant frogs.

"Well, I guess I can't ignore you," Aqua said with a huff. "Honestly, NEETs like you are so helpless. Remember this: the one saving you is the Goddess of Water, Aqua. After I rescue you, you'd better worship me properly! No more hitting me on the head whenever you're annoyed, and you must buy me snacks and drinks whenever I ask. Oh, and you're joining the Axis Church. From now on, you'll pray to me three times a day, and—"

Aqua continued rambling, but my luck ran out before she finished.

The giant frog caught up to me.

As expected, I couldn't put up any resistance and was swallowed whole.

"Gyaaah!" I screamed, my head popping out of the frog's mouth, drenched in slime. Then it sucked me back inside.

"Help me!" I shouted again, poking my head out, only to be swallowed once more.

"Quick! I'll do anything! Just save me!" I cried a third time, desperate to get Aqua's attention.

But as I turned toward where she had been standing, I saw another giant frog.

Its mouth held a familiar booted leg dangling from the corner.

"You… got eaten yourself?! Aqua—!"

With a voice that could shred my vocal cords, I yelled in utter despair, "If you're eaten, what am I supposed to do, you useless goddess?!"

I could feel it—the frog's stomach juices were about to finish me off.

Ah, so I'm going to die again, huh?

I thought back to my first death. If I had known things would turn out like this, I wouldn't have argued with this idiot goddess or dragged her down to this world just to spite her. I should have just picked a cheat ability and soared through life by now.

Why did I even listen to her dumb idea? "Early morning is the best time to hunt monsters—there'll be fewer people around to steal them!"

If we'd arrived later, at least other adventurers might've been around to help us.

I began to pray—not to Aqua, of course. What kind of prayer would reach the heavens if all deities were as incompetent as her?

As I resigned myself to death, I looked down and met the eyes of someone unexpected.

A blonde woman in a crimson dress stood below, looking up at me with amusement.

"Save—"

Before I could finish my plea, the frog pulled me back into its mouth.

---

"Hmm! So it's the main cast," Nero mused, glancing at the frog that had swallowed Kazuma and the other frog with Aqua's leg dangling from its mouth. "If I weren't here, this party might have faced total annihilation."

With a knowing smirk, she murmured, "Could this be Kazuma's absurd luck at work again?"

She remembered hearing about Kazuma: a NEET whose only exceptional trait was his absurdly high luck, second only to Eris, the Goddess of Fortune. Even more ridiculous was that as Kazuma leveled up, none of his other stats seemed to change—only his luck kept growing.

How does that even make sense?

She recalled tales of Kazuma visiting casinos in neighboring kingdoms, causing such chaos with his sheer luck that he nearly bankrupted their treasuries.

If Kazuma were a Servant, his Luck stat would undoubtedly be EX-rank.

What happens if I don't save him?

Nero's curiosity piqued. If his luck was orchestrating events to ensure his survival, what would happen if she chose to stand by and do nothing?

Would Kazuma's overpowered luck summon another miracle to save him?

Hmm! I'm genuinely curious now.

---

"Gar~de! Voir voir."

- Gardevoir

(End of Bonus Chapter—If you like my work, consider supporting me at [patreon.com/WiseTL]!)