I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

Ryo led the way out of the Guild Hall's back exit, where a vehicle that looked more like an armored personnel carrier than a car was waiting. It was sleek, matte black, and had a chauffeur in a crisp uniform standing by the door.

"After you," Ryo said with a sweeping gesture. As Kenjiro walked past, Ryo leaned in and whispered, "See? Only if you could show that gyat to me... We could afford two of these."

Kenjiro whipped around, his face instantly flushing. "S-shut up! I already told you, I'm no—"

His tirade was cut short by a new voice, a deep baritone that seemed to vibrate in his chest. "Ready to go? It's me, GluteusMaximus, here to help my dear Ryo."

A figure stepped out from the shadows beside the car. He wasn't just big; he was a giant, a mountain of a man encased in gleaming, polished steel armor that made him look even larger. He moved with a surprising grace for someone his size.

Something about the name clicked in Kenjiro's brain, a horrible, dawning realization. The LilyPad comment. The user who had called him a tsundere. He slowly turned, his eyes wide with disbelief, and pointed a trembling finger at the armored giant.

"YOU!" Kenjiro shrieked, his voice cracking. "You were the one making fun of me! GluteusMaximus!"

The giant knight tilted his helmeted head, then a look of pure delight crossed his face. "Oh! By the gods, you're Bombom! The new S-Tier! It is an honor!" He took a step forward, his hand outstretched. "I must say, your pictures don't do you justice. That gyat is truly a national treasure!"

"I DON'T HAVE A GYAT!" Kenjiro exploded, his entire body trembling with a mixture of rage and mortification. "AND I'M NOT A TSUNDERE, YOU... YOU BIG... ARMORED JERK!"

GluteusMaximus simply beamed. "Ah, so feisty! Just like your reply online! Adorable!"

Bombom calmed down and said, "S tier? I thought I was C tier."

Ryo burst out laughing, patting Kenjiro on the back so hard he stumbled. "See? I told you you were famous! Gluteus here is our party's tank—the best shield in Aethelgard."

Ryo smirked, hugging Bombom. "Your stats are C rank, but he's talking about your beauty. That's S tier."

Then Ryo kept hugging him, rubbing his face against Bombom's chest, making Bombom blush, embarrassed and at a loss for words.

"Anything to protect our precious Lilies," Gluteus rumbled, flexing a bicep. The metal plates of his armor creaked under the strain. "Especially the ones with legendary assets."

Kenjiro looked like he was about to short-circuit. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He was trapped in a nightmare from which there was no waking up.

"Alright, alright, team bonding can happen on the way," Ryo said, cheerfully oblivious to Kenjiro's inner turmoil. He physically pushed both of them toward the open door of the armored car. "Chop, chop! We have spiders to squish."

They all piled into the spacious, luxurious interior. Kenjiro immediately scrambled to the seat furthest away from the giant knight, crossing his arms and fuming silently. Gluteus sat opposite him, his gaze full of unnerving admiration.

The engine hummed to life, and the vehicle pulled smoothly away from the curb, heading for the Weeping Caves. The strangest adventuring party in the history of Eldoria was officially on its way.