I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

The witch just laughed, a sound that was both beautiful and incredibly cruel. "Marry me? Look at your height."

The word echoed in SynchroNoice's mind. Height. It was a trigger, a key that unlocked a lifetime of trauma. He remembered the other children in his village, their taunts and jeers. He remembered the constant, casual cruelty of a world that was not built for someone his size. The pink, heart-shaped pupils in his eyes shattered, replaced by a burning, furious rage. A single, thick vein throbbed on his forehead. The dopey, lovesick grin on his face twisted into a snarl of pure, unadulterated fury.

A shimmering, pink aura, identical to the witch's own magic, erupted around his hand. The air crackled, and the aura coalesced, forming a perfect, spectral copy of the witch's gnarled wand. He aimed it at her and, with a guttural scream, remade her own spell. A massive, pulsating pink heart shot out, flying directly at her.

The witch, surprised by the sudden rebellion, easily dodged the attack, a playful, impressed smirk on her face. "Oooh, the midget wants to play?" she cooed. She waved her own wand, a dark, malevolent energy gathering at its tip. She whispered, her voice a soft, venomous hiss, "Heart Manipulation: Decay."

A strange, cold feeling spread through SynchroNoice's chest. It wasn't pain, not yet, but a deep, unsettling wrongness, as if his very heart were being slowly filled with ice. "W-what did you do?" he gasped, clutching his chest.

The witch's smirk widened into a maniacal grin, her pink eyes glowing with a terrifying light. "You have five minutes to defeat me," she explained, her voice dripping with sadistic glee. "After that, your heart will decay completely, and you will become my mindless, obedient puppet. And don't worry," she added, her voice dropping to a cruel whisper, "I will make sure to tell you how short you are, every single day, for the rest of your pathetic, little life."

"Don't worry," Gluteus's voice boomed from behind him. "Me and Lyrielle will help you."

"I think not," the witch laughed. She waved her hand again, faster this time. "Heart Manipulation: Chains!" Shimmering, pink chains of pure magical energy erupted from Gluteus and Lyrielle's heart and wrapped on their body until it locks on the ground firmly in the cobblestones. "Don't even try to use magic," she taunted. "The chains will just drain it from you."

"W-what are you?" SynchroNoice stammered, his face pale with a mixture of fear and rage.

"I'm no one," she laughed. "But right now, I'm your enemy."

"Okay," SynchroNoice gulped, his face tightening with a grim resolve. "I didn't want to use this, but..." He reached up and, with a single, decisive tug, ripped his magnificent, well-groomed pink beard clean off his face. He held the disembodied beard in his hand and whispered, "Beard Minion."

His hand began to glow with a pink, magical light. The beard in his palm started to twitch, to writhe. Two small, stubby legs and two equally stubby arms sprouted from its sides. A small, chomping mouth, filled with sharp, hair-like teeth, appeared in its center. The Beard Minion was born.

"Attack her," SynchroNoice commanded.

The bizarre, hairy creature scurried across the cobblestones on its little legs, rushing at the witch. She just laughed, amused by the ridiculous sight. "Oh? And what's that little thing going to do?" she cooed. But as the Beard Minion leaped at her, she had to sidestep to avoid it. It was faster than it looked. As it flew past, it managed to swipe at her cheek with one of its hairy little arms, leaving a small, almost invisible scratch. A single drop of blood welled on her perfect, porcelain skin.

"That!" SynchroNoice declared triumphantly. He took a deep breath and whispered, "Beard Overgrowth!"

From the tiny scratch on the witch's cheek, a single, pink hair sprouted. And then another, and another. In a matter of seconds, a thick, luxurious, and undeniably pink beard began to grow from the scratch, covering the side of her face. The witch's playful, condescending demeanor vanished, replaced by a mask of pure, incandescent fury. Her personality shifted completely. She was no longer a coy, manipulative mage; she was a raging, furious berserker.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" she shrieked, her voice a raw, guttural sound of pure rage.

"I don't think so," SynchroNoice said, a confident smirk on his face. "Now that you have a beard, my minion will just connect to it. Go, Beard Minion!"

The small, hairy creature scurried up the witch's robes. The beard that made up its body seemed to melt into the new, larger beard that was now covering the witch's face, merging with it seamlessly. "Beard Overgrowth!" SynchroNoice commanded again.

The beard exploded in size, growing at an impossible rate, wrapping around the witch's entire body, cocooning her in a thick, pink, hairy prison. She struggled, she screamed, but the beard was too thick, too strong. It tightened its grip, and soon, her struggles ceased. She had fainted, deprived of air.

SynchroNoice let out a whoop of triumph. "Hahahaha! I defeated my first enemy! See that, guys? I'm a hero!" He began to pace back and forth, reveling in his victory. "Oh man, I wish Bombom was here to see this! He would have been so proud! I bet he'd even let me join his main party! We could go on quests together, and he'd teach me how to be a real adventurer, and maybe, just maybe..."

"BEHIND YOU!" Gluteus and Lyrielle screamed in unison.

But SynchroNoice was lost in his victory speech. He kept talking, completely oblivious. And when he finally turned around, it was too late. The pink-haired witch, who had been trapped in his beard this whole time, was standing there, her creepy smirk wider than ever. She held a small, elegantly pink carved crossbow, aimed directly at SynchroNoice's chest. With a soft thwip, a large, heart-shaped arrow shot out, embedding itself deep in the small man's body.

He looked down at the arrow, a surprised look on his face. He was bleeding, but the wound wasn't fatal. Not physically, at least. He fell to his knees, the last of his strength leaving him.

The witch, thinks on how she somehow escaped her beardy prison and was now standing behind her apprentice, she just made the beard minion fell in love with her, making him drop in size, her face clean-shaven and her expression cold and victorious, just smiled. "Time's up," she said.

"Nooo!" Gluteus and Lyrielle screamed, struggling against their magical chains.

SynchroNoice's heart, which had been slowly decaying for the past five minutes, finally gave out. The light in his eyes faded, replaced by a dull, empty pink glow. He stood up, his movements stiff and robotic, and bowed deeply to the witch. He was her puppet now.

"You two really thought I was that stupid?" the witch said, looking at the chained knight and healer with a condescending smirk. "You, an elf, are obviously a healer. And you, the giant man, are a tank. You're both useless without a damage dealer. You would have just wasted my time." She smiled, a cold, cruel sound, and opened the magically sealed castle gate. SynchroNoice followed her like a mindless doll. She gave them one last, triumphant smile, and then vanished into the darkness of the castle, the gate slamming shut behind them.

The pink, magical chains on Lyrielle and Gluteus dissipated, leaving them free, but defeated, in the silent, empty courtyard.

The world righted itself with a dizzying lurch. Kenjiro found himself on his hands and knees, the rough, splintery wood of the cottage floor pressing into his palms. The thick, thorny vine that had held him captive was still wrapped loosely around his torso, a constant, irritating reminder of his own helplessness. He looked up, his red eyes blazing with a furious, impotent rage, and saw the creepy, green-haired mage standing over him, that same unsettling, wide-toothed smirk plastered across his face.

The door to the small cottage burst open, and DragonSlayer filled the frame, his face a mask of pure, unadulterated fury. His draconic transformation was gone, but the rage that had fueled it was still burning bright. He took in the scene at a glance—Bombom, tangled in vines on the floor, and the smirking weird mage standing over him like a predator over its prey.

"Hey," DragonSlayer growled, his voice a low, dangerous sound. "Let him go."

As soon as the green-haired apprentice dropped Bombom to the ground, DragonSlayer rushed towards him. The apprentice, with a nimble grace that belied his creepy demeanor, dodged the attack, using his vines to propel himself to the other side of the small room. "Ooh, someone is angry," he cooed, his voice a high, grating sound. "I am Aokusa Renji, and I am going to defeat you for the glory of our god." He stuck his tongue out, a childish, taunting gesture that only served to fuel DragonSlayer's rage.

Bombom, who had been dropped unceremoniously, landed with his butt hiked in the air, a perfect, if humiliating, pose for the hover-drone that was still dutifully filming everything. The livestream chat, which had been in a state of panicked confusion, immediately shifted gears.

"Look at the gyat."

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT."

"This is going straight to my phone wallpaper."