I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

The journey across the Great Sand Sea was monotonous and mind-numbingly hot. The sand-skiffs glided over endless dunes under a sky of relentless blue. For hours, the only sounds were the hum of the magical engines and the whisper of the wind. And, of course, the distant, grating shouts from the rear of the caravan.

Matsui "FemboyHunter69" Tanoshii was an unrelenting annoyance. From his position on the supply skiff, he would scream compliments that were carried on the wind, each one more cringe-worthy than the last.

"MY WAIFU, YOUR SILHOUETTE AGAINST THE SUN IS A DIVINE MASTERPIECE!"

"BOMBOM-SAMA, EVEN YOUR SWEAT MUST TASTE LIKE THE NECTAR OF THE GODS!"

"I CAN SEE THE BEAUTIFUL CURVE OF YOUR CALVES FROM HERE! TRULY, A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!"

Kenjiro spent the first few hours trying to ignore him, his hands clenched so tightly his knuckles were white. His party reacted with a predictable mix of amusement and disgust. Kaito was in tears of laughter, Kaito was in tears of laughter, DragonSlayer looked like he was about to be physically ill, and Lyrielle just tried to make herself as small as possible.

Finally, Kenjiro couldn't take it anymore. He needed a distraction. He needed to feel in control. With a huff of annoyance, he pulled out his hover-drone.

"If I have to suffer, so does everyone else," he muttered, activating the livestream. "Hey everyone, it's your favorite Lily, Bombom, coming at you live from the middle of nowhere! Welcome to my Desert Journey Log, part one."

The chat immediately sprang to life, Femboy Coins already beginning to trickle in.

BOMBOM! We missed you!

That desert outfit is everything!

He looks so hot and bothered, I love it.

Kenjiro forced a smile for the camera, striking a pose against the railing of the skiff. "Just wanted to check in with my favorite fans while we escort this super important caravan. It's hot, but the company is... mostly good."

He angled the drone camera just enough to catch a glimpse of the rear skiff, where Matsui was now waving frantically, trying to get in the shot. It didn't take long for the chat to notice.

Wait, who's that disaster in the back?

Is that the blue wig guy from the guild?! LMAO

OMG it's the Bombom stalker!

He looks like a melted crayon.

A slow, wicked grin spread across Kenjiro's face. This was better than he could have hoped for. He started reading the comments aloud, his voice dripping with feigned innocence.

"'Who's that disaster in the back?'" Kenjiro read, looking thoughtfully at the camera. "Oh, him? He's just... a passenger. A very dedicated passenger."

Passenger? That's the guy who tried to get into the girls' bathroom at the guild!

He's a total creep! Bombom, be careful!

Someone get that man a mirror. And some soap.

#ProtectBombomFromCreeps

"Oh, my," Kenjiro said, covering his mouth with his hand in mock surprise. "You guys are so protective. Don't worry, my party is here to keep me safe."

Matsui, unable to hear the comments but seeing he was on camera, started blowing exaggerated, sloppy kisses in their direction. The chat devolved into a stream of vomiting emojis and insults.

Ewwww, make it stop!

My eyes are burning.

Bombom, for 1,000 Femboy Coins, can you get Gluteus to throw him into the sand?

Kenjiro let out a genuine laugh, the first one he'd had all day. He couldn't get rid of his stalker physically, but he could absolutely let his entire fanbase roast the man into oblivion. For the first time on the trip, he felt a sense of profound satisfaction. The desert sun didn't feel quite so oppressive anymore.

The livestream roast was providing some much-needed entertainment when the lead sand-skiff suddenly lurched. The ground beneath them began to tremble, and the endless dunes started to shift and ripple as if the desert itself were alive.

"Sand Wyrms!" Omar, the lead merchant, yelled, his face pale. "To arms! Protect the caravan!"

Gluteus Maximus slammed his shield down, creating a defensive perimeter. "Form up! Protect our Lily!" he roared.

From the churning sands, massive serpentine bodies erupted, their scales the color of polished obsidian. But as they rose higher, the party saw they weren't just monsters. From the waist up, they were beautiful women with sharp, predatory features and long, flowing hair. Their lower bodies were the powerful, coiling forms of giant desert wyrms.

"Hey, don't attack us!" Bombom yelled, stepping forward despite the danger. He had to try.

One of the wyrm girls hissed, her forked tongue flicking out. "We can't," she said, her voice a sandy rasp. "Our Queen will have our hides if we return empty-handed."

"She will kill us," another added mournfully.

An idea, both brilliant and terrible, sparked in Kenjiro's mind. He pointed a thumb toward the rear of the caravan, where Matsui was cowering behind a supply crate.

"We give you this nerd guy holding the action figure and you let us go, deal?" he offered.

One of the wyrm girls slithered closer, her dark eyes analyzing the pathetic, trembling form of Matsui. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"He could be a good meal, but... he's not healthy," she declared. "And besides, we need something more beautiful."

Before Kenjiro could argue, a shadow fell over the entire caravan. A creature far larger and more magnificent than the others burst from the sand. Her scales shimmered like black diamonds, and her human half was that of a stunningly beautiful queen with eyes like molten gold and a crown of sharpened bones. The Queen of the Sand Wyrms.

With impossible speed, her massive tail shot out, wrapping around Kenjiro's waist and snatching him from the deck of the skiff.

"BOMBOM!" his party screamed in unison.

"HELP!" Kenjiro shrieked as he was pulled away, dragged across the sand at incredible speed. A single, genuine tear of terror welled in his eye. "I don't want to be food!"

The Queen dragged him into a massive cavern hidden beneath the dunes, the home of her tribe. She gently set him down before her throne of carved sandstone.

"Food?" the Queen laughed, her voice a melodic rumble. "You will be my King. It's so rare for Lilies to wander into these parts." She reached out a clawed finger and gently poked Kenjiro's cheek, a teasing glint in her golden eyes.

Kenjiro's face flushed a deep crimson. He was relieved, but also mortified. "Even though I'm beautiful as you... I already have someone," he blurted out, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

The Queen's smile vanished, her heart visibly breaking. "W-what? You're already taken?! No way..." A large, shimmering tear formed in the corner of her eye.

Seeing her genuine sadness, Kenjiro felt a pang of guilt. "B-but I can get someone for you!" he offered quickly.

Her head snapped up, a flicker of hope in her eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, yes!" Kenjiro said, his mind racing. "You guys have a phone? Internet?"

"Yes, we have it, but we don't use it much," the Queen sighed, her massive tail drooping sadly. "People on the web... they like to mock our tails."

"Don't worry about it," Kenjiro said with a newfound confidence. He reactivated his hover-drone, which had been dutifully following him. He turned it to face the Queen. "See, chat? How beautiful is this queen? She's looking for a King, and she's got a great personality! If anyone is interested, follow her account @WormQueen420!"

The Queen pulled out a sleek, modern phone and watched as her screen exploded. Her DMs were flooded with messages from hopeful suitors. The other wyrm girls, seeing this, all crowded around the drone, shocked and happy, shouting out their own usernames in the hope of finding someone too.

The Queen, her face beaming with a radiant smile, unwrapped her tail from Kenjiro's waist. She leaned down and gave him a soft, quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, little Lily," she purred. "You may go."