I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

Kenjiro woke up with a rare, triumphant smirk plastered on his face. He had won the spar. Kaito, the sly, powerful fox femboy, was his servant for the entire day. The possibilities were endless.

He made good use of his newfound power. First, he had Kaito pay for a deluxe breakfast at the most expensive cafe in the city, complete with gold-leaf-dusted pastries. For dinner, he dragged his begrudging servant to a garish, brightly-colored fast-food chain called "HappyRoland's."

"I want the Super Happy Meal," Kenjiro demanded, pointing at the menu.

"Seriously?" Kaito sighed, pulling out his wallet. "This place is for children."

"And I want the toy," Kenjiro added defiantly.

The meal arrived, and inside the box, alongside the greasy food, was a small, plastic action figure of a muscular hero. It looked remarkably similar to the one that creepy "waifu" guy always carried around. Finding the irony hilarious, Kenjiro posed for a picture, holding up the toy next to a pouting Kaito. He uploaded it to LilyPad.

The comments flooded in instantly.

Bombom My love where's your descending trapezius?

You're so cute

You both are looking cute

Step on me bombom

Just as he was reading the comments, a shadow fell over their table. A familiar, grating voice screamed, causing the entire restaurant to fall silent.

"MY WAIFU BOMBOM! I LOVE YOU! I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU AGAIN!"

It was him. The nerd. He was still wearing the tangled blue wig and the awful makeup. Destiny, it seemed, was a cruel and persistent joke. Kenjiro tried to hide his face behind his hands, but it was too late. The wannabe waifu rushed to their table, his eyes wide with manic glee.

"I knew if I waited here long enough, you would come!" he declared.

Kenjiro sighed as everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. He felt a hot, embarrassing blush creep up his neck. The nerd wasn't even looking at his face; he was crouched down, inspecting Kenjiro's legs from under the table.

"A-ALRIGHT, I'M DONE! GET OUT!" Kenjiro yelled, jumping up from his seat.

"BUT BOMBOM, I CAME FOR YOUR RESCUE!" the nerd cried.

Just then, the manager of HappyRoland's approached their table. She was a tall woman dressed in a full yellow and red clown costume, complete with a big red nose, a red wig, and white face paint.

"Please," she said, her voice eerily calm, "be quiet and don't disturb the others. Or else..." She pulled out a small tablet and showed them the screen. On it, in large, blocky letters, were the words: DEAF TO ALL. She smiled a wide, unsettling red smile and then walked away.

Kenjiro looked at Kaito, completely bewildered. "Wasn't that supposed to be 'death to all'?"

Kaito shook his head, a look of genuine fear in his eyes. "Nope. Trust me, you don't want to know about it. Let's go. Now."

Kenjiro didn't need to be told twice. He and Kaito got up and made a beeline for the exit, leaving the wannabe waifu behind, who, after a moment of confusion, started chasing after them, screaming "WAIT FOR ME, MY LOVE!"

Kenjiro grabbed Kaito's hand and pulled him into the bustling city streets. It was a good way to escape. The sidewalks were packed with people, many of whom were following other Lilies, creating a chaotic, shifting sea of bodies. It was surprisingly easy to lose their pursuer in the crowd.

"Okay, I think we lost him," Kenjiro panted, finally slowing down. To ensure they stayed hidden, he pointed at a large building. "In here."

It was a grand cinema. And, of course, Kaito, still bound by the terms of their spar, paid for everything—the tickets and a giant bucket of popcorn. They found seats in the last row, the perfect spot for hiding.

The movie was about some red-haired woman from a video game who supposedly had dimension-altering powers, but for two hours, she mostly just complained and did nothing. It was incredibly boring. Before the movie was even halfway through, Kenjiro's head was nodding, and soon he was fast asleep, his head resting on Kaito's shoulder.

A mischievous smirk spread across Kaito's face. He carefully took the popcorn bucket, ate the remaining popcorn, and placed the now-empty bucket on his own lap. As the movie's credits began to roll, he gently poked Kenjiro.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," he whispered.

Kenjiro woke up with a loud yawn, stretching his arms. "Is it over?"

"Want more popcorn?" Kaito asked innocently, pointing down at the bucket in his lap.

"Oh, thanks for leaving some for me," Kenjiro said with a genuine smile. He plunged his hand into the bucket, expecting the familiar feel of buttery popcorn. Instead, his fingers met something... weird. And definitely not popcorn.

He pulled his hand back as if he'd been burned. His face went from sleepy to confused to horrified to incandescently furious in the span of three seconds. He looked at Kaito's smug, grinning face.

"YOU JERK!" he yelled, punching Kaito's arm. "BAD JOKE! VERY BAD JOKE!"

The movie ended, and Kenjiro got up, stomping his feet in anger as a laughing Kaito followed him out of the theater.

A wicked smirk formed on Kenjiro's face. This was a perfect opportunity for Kaito to pay more. He marched them to the most expensive boutique in the city's high-end district.

"You're buying me this," Kenjiro declared, holding up a "battle bunny suit." It was made of a sleek, black, armored material but was still undeniably a skimpy bunny costume.

Kaito swiped his credit card, already crying internally about the debt he'd be in next month. But as he imagined Kenjiro actually wearing the suit, he decided it would probably be worth it.

As they stepped out of the store, shopping bag in hand, they ran head-first into their persistent problem.

"BOMBOM, MY WAIFU!" the nerd screamed, appearing out of nowhere.

His shout acted like a beacon. The crowd around them suddenly noticed who was in their midst, and a mob formed instantly, rushing toward Kenjiro.

"BOMBOM, WE LOVE YOU! WHEN ARE YOU UPLOADING MORE STREAMS?"

"BOMBOM, SHOW US YOUR FEET!"

"I BET THEY'RE PINKY!"

Kenjiro blushed, completely overwhelmed and embarrassed. He grabbed Kaito's hand again, and for the second time that day, they ran for their lives, escaping the mob and heading for the relative safety of the Adventure Guild.