I didn’t ask to be the Demon Queen

Queen Anastasia seemed to be drifting back and forth between thoughtfulness and rage. I got the feeling she was trying to think of the situation rationally, but kept going back to righteous fury, which she then suppressed again. 

 

“I believe we both want the same thing from these talks, do we not?” she asked, her hands interlocked in front of her.

 

“Maybe, Queen Anastasia,” I said carefully, “but perhaps it would be best to verbalize everything anyway.”

 

“Wise,” she said, softly. “I think we both desire an end to hostilities across our shared border, an official ceasefire and peace, with Wydonia conceding to re-evaluate its position and treatment of its disenfranchised citizens, here referring to all races that fall under the misnomer ‘Monstrous Races’.” She spat the words out, now that she knew that they’d been the result of a propaganda campaign mandated to delegitimize actual citizens. 

 

“I agree. In turn, I, Queen Eliza, offer to continue to provide shelter for the… disparaged Wydonian citizens, until enough systemic change throughout Wydonia has been enacted for the citizens to reintegrate.”

 

Anastasia considered this for a second. “Agreed. Wydonia graciously accepts.”

 

“Does that conclude the talks?” Kazumi squeaked. 

 

“I believe it does. Queen Eliza?” Anastasia looked at me.

 

“Yeah, I think we’re good.”

 

Both myself and Queen Anastasia got up, and I towered comically over her. She stuck out her hand without a hint of insecurity, and I shook it. Kazumi laid her board on the table in front of me. It had a quick summation on the nature of the talks, and its conclusion as we both agreed to them. At the bottom was the space for two signatures, and I was incredibly grateful to Kazumi that she’d taken the time to get me to practice a signature, and then practice it much smaller. It wasn’t very fancy, but it would do. I handed the document to Anastasia, who also signed the paper, and handed it back. Her signature, like herself, was beautiful, regal and elegant. 

 

“Queen Eliza?” Anastasia looked at me. 

 

“Yes?”

 

“Walk with me for a moment, if you would.” She walked to the entrance to the tent and waited for me patiently. I looked at the others but a nod from Sabine reminded me that I didn’t really have to ask anyone for permission to leave. I was queen, after all. I joined Queen Anastasia and we walked to the edge of the camp, parallel to Whitehallow castle. Its position on the ridge was partially ringed by a clear river. There were ducks. It was a beautiful sight. I noticed that there were several guards following us from a little ways back. I wondered briefly why I didn’t get that kind of treatment and then realized that the odds of Anastasia overpowering me were low, to say the least.

 

She looked at the water and sighed.

 

“I hate being lied to, Queen Eliza.”

 

“Please, just call me Eliza.” I’d almost told her to call me Liz but that probably would’ve been inappropriate. She just nodded.

 

“I get the feeling you’ve been honest with me, Eliza. I can’t quite put my finger on it. You’re easy to trust.”

 

“Your highness is too kind,” I said, doing my best to sound like a character from period dramas I used to watch. The last thing I wanted to do now was embarrass myself. She chuckled softly.

 

“If I’m to call you Eliza, the least you can do is call me Anastasia, you know.”

 

I smiled. “Fair enough. In that case, thank you, Anastasia.”

 

“I suppose I’m the one who should thank you.” She walked along the riverbank. “From the first moment of these talks, you’ve been more than forthcoming.”

 

I nodded. I’d wanted to cede as much ground as was reasonable before taking a stand when it came to the other races. I hadn’t dared hope that Anastasia would have been as reasonable as she was. 

 

“You could’ve claimed a diplomatic incident when Daniel attacked you. Even if you’d orchestrated the whole thing, it would’ve been a smart move to make. Instead you immediately waived the whole thing off.”

 

It had been a misunderstanding, I thought. For me, there wouldn’t have been a reason to lie. On the other hand, Queen Anastasia would’ve had perfect reason to mistrust me.

 

“Then you let my army camp besides your keep, putting you in a position of extreme vulnerability.”

 

I shrugged. “It seemed important to make a gesture of good faith, Anastasia. I just wanted to make sure you felt safe.”

 

She held up her hand. She wasn’t having my protests, clearly. 

 

“I could’ve travelled back half a day. Sure, we’d have lost some time, but instead you put yourself in a vulnerable position for my comfort. And then you agreed to meet me in the middle of my camp. And what you did was essentially take us from a position of close-to-open conflict to outright peace.”

 

I smiled. When all lined up like that, it did sound like something to be proud of. 

 

“Have you really told the truth here, Eliza?” She turned to me. “If this is some dastardly ploy, I don’t see it. You’ve been forthcoming, consistently accommodating, and let pass every opportunity to take up a position of strength.” 

 

“I mean, it was only… I don’t know. It seemed like the right thing to do. There’s no point in lying.”

 

She looked at me sideways and raised an eyebrow. “In my experience, most courtly life is lies strung together by half-truths and deceptions. Is your experience that different?”

 

Well, I wasn’t even the person everyone thought I was. On the other hand…

 

“There’s lying…” I began, carefully choosing my words, “when you’re around people you don’t trust.”

 

She nodded.

 

“So,” I continued, “I surround myself with people I trust. I think if… if you’re honest with people, they’ll be honest with you. Trust goes both ways, right?”

 

She’d continued walking, but looked up at me again. 

 

“You’re not at all what I’d expected, Eliza,” she said with a smile.

 

I grinned. “Happy to disappoint.”

 

She giggled, and I was happily surprised to find that she was one of those people who did a little snort at the end of a laugh. It was wholly endearing. 

 

“Could I interest you in dining with us inside the castle tonight, Anastasia?”

 

She paused for a moment, and I was a little worried I’d overstepped. “To celebrate the success of the peace talks,” I added hastily.

 

“I’d absolutely love to, Eliza. Thank you for the invitation.”

 

We walked a little bit more. It was honestly just nice to walk side by side, although I did have to look down occasionally to even be reminded she was walking next to me. She wasn’t very tall.

 

“Do you ever... “ she began, and stopped.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Does it ever bother you that you feel like people can’t… That people can’t be honest with you?”

 

I shook my head. “What do you mean, Anastasia?”

 

She bit her lip, and it made her look younger somehow. Sometimes her expression shifted in such a way that she seemed not like a queen, but like the mid-twenty-something she actually was, barely an adult. 

 

“People tiptoe around you, like they’re scared to disagree, because nobody is allowed to disagree with a queen.”

 

Ah. I remembered my early interactions with Kazumi. I’d witnessed firsthand what interactions with a cruel regent did to people.

 

“I used to,” I said. 

 

“Oh?”

 

“I’ve got… good people.”

 

She didn’t seem convinced. She probably disliked the implication that she might not have them, so I soldiered on.

 

“I’ve started treating some of them as… mostly equals, I suppose.”

 

That got her attention. “Oh? That’s… unorthodox.”

 

“Only in private settings, of course. There’s, you know, appearances to keep up.”

 

“Of course,” she agreed.

 

“But for the most part, in private, with my advisors and confidants, we’re all equals. It’s that trust thing again.”

 

“The trust thing,” she muttered to herself. We got to a bend in the river, and she paused again. A family of ducklings quacked past. 

 

“What happened to Daniel, Eliza?” She spoke softly. It was clear this was a sensitive subject to her. I wondered briefly if there’d been something romantic between the two of them. There hadn’t been an option for that in the base game, but with the whole Monstrous Races thing, I felt like there were going to be other divergences between this world and the game. I caught myself almost thinking of this one as the ‘real world’. It was, though, wasn’t it? Did it matter? I realized I was getting distracted. 

 

“Please be honest with me,” she added. Her voice was very small, and I felt sorry for her. I’d had this talk a few times now, over the past few days, and it clearly wasn’t going to get any easier for anyone involved. “I know there was no body on the pyre. I recognize an illusion when I see one.”

 

That at least told me how Sabine had tried to solve that particular problem. 

 

“Daniel’s been… gone, for some time, Anastasia. The person yesterday… that wasn’t them. I don’t…”

 

I paused. 

 

“I can see if they’re out there, somewhere. But the person you knew has been gone for months.”

 

She stood still for a moment, and I only just barely caught her tearing up before she turned around to look at the river again. 

 

“I see… So… who was…”

 

“Nobody important. A girl. A scared girl in a world she didn’t… doesn’t understand.”

 

There was a sigh from Anastasia. It could have been a sob. I couldn’t tell. She wiped her face quickly. 

 

“I see.”

 

I took a deep breath. I hated giving bad news, but, the way I saw it, the truth was important. 

 

“Could I meet her?” she asked, as she turned around.

 

“I… of course, Anastasia. But she won’t… She won’t look like… your Daniel. Won’t recognize you. Not further back than just the past few months.”

 

Anastasia nodded. Her eyes were red but her face was dry. 

 

“I’m okay with that.”

 

We slowly began to walk back to the camp. Her royal guards followed at a discreet distance the entire way, and it was comforting to know someone like her was at least safe from attacks, for the most part, and I told her the same. She smiled.

 

“I doubt that they’d be able to stop you if you’d tried to attack me, Eliza. I’ve been told you’re quite formidable.” 

 

I recoiled. “I wouldn’t!”

 

She laughed again, that little snort like a cute punctuation mark at the end of a giggled sentence. 

 

“Yes, I’m starting to see that now.” She laughed again, softer, with no little snort. “I had one more question, Eliza.”

 

“Oh? Go ahead.”

 

“What do you call your kingdom? I noticed your handmaiden didn’t name it during her introduction.”

 

I paused.

 

“Uh,” I said, eloquently.

 

“You really should think about that,” she smiled. There was a playfulness to her I hadn’t noticed before, and I was glad to see this side of her. “Countries need names.”

 

I made a slightly exaggerated bow. “At once, your majesty.”

 

She giggled again, and began to make her way back to the camp. 

 

“I look forward to dinner tonight, Queen Eliza,” she smiled, and she disappeared in the hustle and bustle of the encampment. 

 

I made my way back to Whitehallow. I felt like that had been a good morning. The peace talks had been officially concluded, Anastasia seemed to like me, and nobody had attacked anyone. By my standards, it had been an unmitigated success. As I approached the keep, I saw Sabine, Kazumi and Erza talking in the courtyard and I joined them.

 

“How was your talk with Queen Anastasia?” Kazumi asked.

 

“Good. She’s… I think she trusts us. I think she wants this as much as we do.”

 

“Good to hear,” Erza said, nodding. “Having the support of the queen like that is better than we could have expected.” 

 

“Agreed,” Sabine said. 

 

“She’s also joining us for dinner tonight,” I added.

 

“She’s what?!” Kazumi beeped, and rushed away to the kitchens. Sabine giggled. 

 

“The talks went very well, then?” Erza said with a smile I couldn’t decipher. She shot Sabine a glance I was sure was meaningful, but I was just lost.

 

“I think so, yeah. She’s mostly a scared woman surrounded by people she can’t trust. I’m very lucky, compared to her.” I smiled at them. Sabine blushed. Erza just smiled back. 

 

“Glad to hear it, Liz,” Erza said. 

 

“Yeah,” Sabine said softly. “We’re… I’m happy to know you too.”

 

Erza laughed out loud and went inside. 

 

“Are you okay, Sabine?” I asked.

 

“Yeah. Yeah I am.” She hurried after Erza. I was about to head inside, when I heard a soft noise in the distance, and I looked up. Up on the bannisters, I saw Sally laughing her ass off at something, though I had no idea what. I’d have to ask her later. And tell her about Anastasia’s request.

 

I looked back toward the encampment, down the hill. I hoped Anastasia would be okay.