I Become a Secret Police Officer of The Imperial Academy

Chapter 52

Thinking about something doesn’t mean you can immediately act on it.

If you let emotions take the lead and only think about harming someone, all you’ll end up doing is grabbing a small blade, making a scene, and getting subdued or arrested.

For now, I have to wait until Julian wakes up.

In the end, he will make the final decision.

Checking the time, it’s around noon.

I wandered into the empty kitchen and shoved a dried-up piece of white bread into my mouth, then took a walk around the mansion.

The old butler rushed over, insisting I should be resting, but even he must know this isn’t the time for that.

My objective has direction, but it isn’t precise.

Where do we draw the line on who needs to be apprehended?

One thing is certain: every last demon must be eliminated.

I can’t deny my personal grudge, but as we’ve seen, leaving them alone leads to catastrophe.

If we compromise and merely punish them, this will happen again.

If the same thing is bound to repeat, wouldn’t it be better to remove the problem entirely?

If I were a demon, I’d be furious, but I’m not.

I’m in a position far more advantageous, powerful, and capable of wiping them out.

At least within this country.

Those nuisances can be sent back to their so-called homeland in the distant east—or to some neighboring minor state.

But not before they pay for their crimes.

I entered a large storage room at the far end of the mansion grounds.

I grabbed a handful of daggers that fit snugly in my hand and secured them in my belt.

Then, I picked up a suitable pistol.

If I had this that night, I could have saved Alicia.

Regret is pointless.

Dwelling on the past brings nothing but emptiness.

What matters is not making the same mistake again.

If I’ve identified the problem, I must correct it—not ignore it just because it’s inconvenient.

Alicia is gone.

"Originally, I only meant to buy a gift and return."

Julian sat curled up on the bed, murmuring barely audible words.

Waiting beside him had finally paid off.

Not that I had anything else to do.

"But after buying the jewels you mentioned, I suddenly wanted to see you.

It was a late night, but the moon was bright and round—it was a beautiful night."

Was it?

I wouldn’t know.

When you’re happy, even the weeds along the road seem beautiful.

By that logic, the nights before Alicia died must have been beautiful.

"You were unusually gentle that day, and everything seemed radiant."

It was a rare chance to go out.

I had plenty of money and planned to buy a nice meal and gifts for Alicia.

I had even thought of getting the cosmetics Ethel mentioned.

"For a moment, I thought the future could be bright, that I could live with the person I loved and have something to look forward to.

You and I… we’ve had it rough.

Father was a terrible man, but he somehow found a perfect match and lived happily.

I thought I’d finally found someone I could love."

Though we shared a bond, our relationship was not built on deep trust.

Looking at each other only reminded us of painful memories.

"Is this our punishment? Were we born into this house just to suffer?"

"Julian, it’s not a punishment."

What did he want to hear?

"…Then what is it?"

"It’s just as you said. A problem. Think back to that night."

"…Madmen with torches setting fires. Angry mobs throwing stones. Demons preying on the fleeing."

"Marco told me barely any of them went into the residential areas.

Filthy slum dwellers gathered and invaded the main streets—our district."

People remain in the slums because of their own incompetence.

"What are you trying to say?"

"The demons are the problem. We let them live in the slums, and this is what they did.

They repay kindness with betrayal. And those who sided with them are no better."

Julian alone has the power to command this house, to allocate resources, to make decisions.

It’s not about worthiness or succession—I simply lack the means to do it myself.

All I have is cunning.

Julian can make things happen.

I can only persuade, manipulate, and wield a blade to get what I want.

That’s all.

In a way, I’m no different from a courtesan—selling smiles, words, and pleasure to get what I need.

A courtesan, at least, is far more respectable.

Like a woman playing coy, I leaned against Julian’s side as he mumbled under the covers.

Then, I whispered into his ear.

"None of this is your fault."

"…It’s all my fault. I could have saved them.

The bastards broke into the mansion, and I couldn’t even protect them!"

I failed Alicia too. I brought her here, yet I couldn’t keep her alive.

If you lose someone dear, shouldn’t you do something for them instead of just grieving?

I had already decided—the demons had to be eradicated.

Whether it was possible didn’t matter.

Would the dead even care about such things?

Memorials are for the living.

For those who remain.

The dead are useless, but if the living collapse under grief, they become even more worthless.

Even the offerings placed on a memorial table are for the living.

No one sets up an elaborate ancestral rite just to throw the food away.

They eat, stuffing themselves, too busy enjoying the meal to dwell on loss.

In the end, I do this because I want to.

If I ever feel overwhelmed, I can dress it up as something noble—for Alicia’s sake.

Disgusting.

"I could have saved Alicia.

If only I had killed every demon in sight.

But I didn’t. In the end, it was a disaster. Is that all my fault?"

But that’s just who I am.

Without Alicia, I am nothing but a revolting, wretched human being.

I was born here, raised this way.

Trained and molded into this.

This is simply returning to what I was meant to be.

And someone raised like me isn’t supposed to grieve.

Alicia told me not to cry, after all.

With no parents, I must play that role for myself.

Since I failed to protect Alicia, I should punish myself later.

A failure like me holds no value.

Julian’s lips, dry and cracked, parted slightly, making a faint rustling sound.

I should feed him something.

"…No."

"Then whose fault is it?"

I’d blame the demons and the deranged humans who helped them.

"I don’t know."

"It’s all because of the demons. They were the ones who did this."

There were humans involved, but they had likely been corrupted by the demons they lived among.

If handled properly, they would repent and recognize their sins.

"Julian, what do you do when a dog bites a person?"

"…You put it down."

"Saying ‘kill’ makes it sound too human. You dispose of it.

Beasts that devour people, burn them alive, and laugh about it cannot be considered human. Don’t you agree?"

Julian’s eyes wavered before he finally nodded.

"Then what are you waiting for?

Instead of whining, get up and get to work.

She would have preferred that."

Of course not.

She wouldn’t even kill an ant unless by accident, let alone approve of slaughter.

If I said we should wipe out every last demon, she would have recoiled in horror.

Julian knows this too.

But emotions are fickle things. They make you believe what you want to believe.

It’s no different from the demons believing that killing nobles and the wealthy would make their lives better.

A moment’s thought would tell them otherwise, but they never bothered to think at all.

"We have to dispose of the filthy demons. Every last one of them.

A Speyer should be working, not wasting time crying."

"…How."

"That’s what money is for.

Who cares if we go bankrupt? Expand the detention facilities and build a structure capable of holding every demon we capture.

Something designed for efficient disposal."

"…I’ll spare the ones who deserve it."

"Do whatever you want."

Julian got up.

He checked the mirror on the wall, wiped the crust from his eyes, and changed his clothes.

Then, after staring at me for a long moment with sunken eyes, he left the room.

It won’t be long now.

Soon, I’ll have work to do.