I Became the Wrong Race

105 – Lee Sang (6)

“Actually, it was more of an excuse.”

This was the first thing the old man said to me after Isla looked at the old mourner with a dissatisfied expression and left.

“Of course we need to talk among men, but I’m not trying to talk about anything serious like you think.”

If I were a very irritable person, I would get annoyed here and embarrass the man by saying, “I’m busy, did you really have to catch me like this?”

I wasn’t that hysterical person. Rather, it was the opposite, so to speak.

I, the embodiment of giantism, thanked mercifully.

“Isn’t there something that can only be discussed between men? “It doesn’t seem like you have a particularly difficult time with women, but there are things you can’t say to women.”

The words are longer than usual. Isn’t this really important?

Moreover, what the old man said now was a shame because the times and world were different. It was a line that couldn’t have been said if this was still a game.

There was talk of gender and discrimination, so the character of Mr. Mourner was cut out.

Maybe that’s why I had a strange feeling, as if I had found yet more evidence to confirm that this world is not a game.

Even if it was a game, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

Moreover, some of what the old man said was true.

Even though I was not uncomfortable with women because I lived with my older sister, I wasn’t really comfortable with women.

Although I don’t feel uncomfortable with women, most of my friends throughout my life were men.

Among them, there had to be a strange guy who was surprisingly unaware of women’s liking and didn’t even know he had received a confession even after being confessed.

I’m glad I’m not that tactless guy.

“Surely. Since we are both men, there are stories we can talk about.”

“Well, that’s what I said. Of course, it’s nothing special, but…”

“Are you okay. “Speak comfortably.”

“Thank you. Then…”

When I sat down, the mourner sat next to me.

There was silence for a moment. During this time, I saw the mourner.

He doesn’t know the name.

He looks like a typical barbarian warrior, but I know it’s some kind of camouflage.

A middle-aged man with long, gray-looking hair mixed with white hair and glaring black eyes.

Anyone could see that he was an old and worn-out barbarian warrior, so you could see how much effort this guy had put into his barbarian warrior cosplay.

For example, not many people knew that this man was a mourner.

My older sister, Melody, me, Isla, Lorian, Ortemilia, and the Black Knight.

Everyone else just thinks this guy is a barbarian warrior.

Is it because the cultural identity is also that of the northern tribal confederation? The man’s cosplay was perfect.

The profession of barbarian warrior is not much different from that of mourner.

The roles are very similar.

“Why do you look at me like that?”

“Are you from the Northern Tribal Alliance?”

“Well, that’s right.”

A man with a bitter smile. I saw him feeling faint happiness beyond that bitter smile.

It was the expression a person shows when tracing the past.

“Where are you from?”

“Even if I tell you, you won’t know. It’s not a very well-known place…”

Regret slowly turns into suffering. I realized what was happening when I saw the sadness clearly written on the man’s face.

A man is a mourner.

A mourner is a being born from the first mourning. Everything in life is completely taken away.

If you are from the Northern Tribal Federation.

I recalled a story I heard about Isla’s past not long ago.

The story of the Frost Stalker tribe, where the three clans had to choose death when the Empire invaded.

It was a common tragedy. A painful memory that can be heard anywhere. Something that every human living in the North has experienced at least once.

However, being common did not lessen the tragedy. Rather, it was a tragedy because it was common.

I looked at the old man with a bitter expression. The story that would come out of that mouth was predictable.

But it didn’t stop. Sometimes there are wounds that need to be spoken out loud to heal.

Perhaps the uncle had read my expression, and soon he began to tell me about the past that he had never told me about.

“As you guessed, I come from a village that belongs to the Northern Tribal Confederation. However, because it was such a small village, it was difficult to say that we belonged to it.”

A man who smiles awkwardly. He continued his story while staring blankly into space.

“It just belonged because it was in the North. In the village, they happily ate the deer meat provided to them, saying they were now part of the alliance. “We didn’t have much money to hold a banquet, so the only thing we could do was drink, have fun, and go to sleep so we could do what we had to do the next day.”

That’s what he said, but he seemed to miss a banquet that wasn’t the banquet of the past. He held his sore knees and smiled bitterly.

“It wasn’t difficult to live. The north is a barren land, but we are closer to the south, so there are plenty of animals and plants. As a village hunter, I regularly went hunting with the village men.”

Was he a hunter? It didn’t seem that way. The old man’s body felt lumpy no matter who he looked at it.

I wondered if it was really the same job as Isla.

“Don’t look at me like that. Because I used to have a slim body like Isla. Just… “I became a mourner and came to my senses, and this is what happened.”

Only then did I realize that the past coming out of my uncle’s mouth was quite a distant past.

Well, if the past time has been that long, it is natural for a lot to change.

“I was just busy making a living every day, but I was happy. Her daughter was growing up, and now she didn’t even bother talking to me. “One day, I went down to the south and declared that I would bring in a noble groom from the empire.”

The uncle closed his eyes. Beneath that happy expression, a sense of loss was simultaneously felt.

It would have been better if it had been that way. I had the illusion that I was hearing words that I had not heard.

I feel sad. As he closed his mouth bitterly, he sighed.

“If I had done that, I wouldn’t have regretted it.”

“What happened?”

“It happened often. There was a nobleman in the expedition empire who advocated a northern, and those with a lot of blood were just eager to make a mark.”

Even vaguely, I could guess what he was seeing.

Dust rising along the horizon of the village, a flat area not covered by a forest.

Horns sounding from afar and people panicking and confused.

The Imperial Knights approaching them.

“The Northern Tribal Confederation has unified a vast territory. That became the handshake. “They didn’t have great defensive skills to protect their people in time.”

“Okay then.”

“I went to pick up the soldiers of the Tribal Alliance. There were very few horses in the village, at most they were pack horses. “When I brought him here, there was nothing left.”

With a bitter smile, he clenched and unclenched his rock-like fist.

There was a faint hatred in the eyes looking down.

Hatred that has not been diluted even after a long time has passed. It was a mental trauma that had already remained like a scar.

“I never thought I would say this, but then I thought. “It would have been better if they all disappeared.”

“No way.”

“Her daughter was dying. Her wife was dead next to her.”

I knew what he wanted to say.

If there wasn’t even a trace left, he would have searched with hope.

For eternity he would have lived with hope.

It was exactly like that when I lost my sister.

It was heartbreaking to think that my sister had just gotten tired of me for a while, but it was better than thinking that she was lost forever or that something bad had happened and she had died.

What if I got a call from the police and said she had found my sister?

If you felt deep hesitation from that police officer.

The country would have gone crazy too.

The sad thing is that in this world, there is a person who gives power to such a crazy person.

“I became a mourner then. “What happened there was my first mourning.”

“What if it’s your first mourning?”

“… At least I can say that I was the only one who survived that place.”

Does that mean he doesn’t want to say more than that? The man lowered his fist and sighed.

It was a somewhat relieved sigh. The story wasn’t over yet, but it felt refreshing to hear it come out.

“From then on… Just endlessly… It was a life full of regrets. And mourning is the power of regret. Thanks to you, I have survived until now.”

I remembered the first time I picked up Ajae. The memory of a nobleman trying to cause him pain and leading him to kill himself.

Sometimes there is such revenge in the world. The man moved forward day by day amidst regret, death, and pain.

“How did my knees get like that?”

“I suffered at the time of my first mourning, and I continued to suffer. “At some point, I became a cripple.”

Status abnormalities are nullified by mourners. However, even the natural body reaction was not invalid.

Because that is not considered a status abnormality. Since non-recoverable wounds are treated as injuries, that’s probably what they were aiming for.

The problem is that Mr. Ajae was a man who was too suited to be a mourner. He shook off his regret and smiled.

“Up until now, it was almost like I was just running around wanting to die. Until he met you.”

“That’s a good thing…”

“Thanks to you, I had fun for a while.”

I froze just as I said and slowly turned my head.

The man wasn’t looking at me. He was still staring blankly into space.

The focus was slightly blurred. I feel like something is landing on my chest.

“Mr.?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you talking about? No, talking about man to man…”

“It’s a lie.”

It was so absurd that I couldn’t even laugh. I narrowed and relaxed my eyes, then narrowed them again and looked at the man.

“I had a vague guess.”

“What?”

“The power of mourners. At its source… “There is a being called Mother who is targeting you, right?”

Something I have never told my uncle until now. I kept my mouth shut and knew that he had no choice but to know.

The man is a mourner of a higher level than me. I don’t know how high he was, but he was at least higher than me.

“So I understand. Why has no mourner lived as long as me?”

I know too. I knew what would come out of his mouth.

“This was given to humans… It is not a power that humans can use.”

“Oh my gosh, no way.”

“I don’t have long time left.”

What kind of expression was I making? The man glanced at me and smiled slightly.

“I guess I knew. Thank goodness.”

“No, I…”

“You’re a homunculus, so you can’t be like me. I overcame madness several times… It will be different with me. So I feel fortunate.”

When I was at a loss for words and kept my mouth shut, the man smiled reassuringly.

“I don’t know how it will end or how I will close my eyes. But, considering that poor kid’s younger brother, it might not end well.”

This is the story of Isla and Selma. I made eye contact with him.

“When that time comes, I hope you don’t forget my favor.”

I remembered what I said.

‘One day, I will be able to kill you… Because you still want to die then.’

Words that feel like promises that cannot be kept. I said this because I didn’t know it would turn out like this.

‘I will kill you.’

But I had no choice but to nod. There is no man who is second to a man who has made up his mind.

Perhaps it was because he learned that there was a safety device in the worst case scenario, but the man smiled with a more relaxed expression.

“Until then, I will lend you whatever little strength I have. It would actually be easier to use. It will be a reference for you too.”

I couldn’t tell them there was no need for it.

I didn’t even mention that once you reach level 20, you can gain the power to absorb life and transcend your lifespan.

How can you say something like that?

I don’t even know how to explain it, and I don’t know if it’s really true.

Before that, you could just end up becoming your mother’s limbs.

So, when I lowered my head, I heard my uncle’s voice.

“It was really fun for the first time in a while.”

The man sounded really happy.

“I didn’t know if I would ever be around people again. But… “Once I started hanging out, I realized that I had been missing it.”

The lady had her eyes closed. He smiled as he remembered his memories of her.

“A simple morning greeting, a child’s whining… The eyes of those who see me and welcome me… It was really good.”

It was so long ago that I forgot about it. From the words flowing out, I knew he was going back to the past.

Before he became a mourner, he was still living and dreaming about his daughter.

Before many lives were lost and mourned.

“I came here to die, but I never thought I would get my life back. I’m really grateful.”

“Why are you telling me that?”

“I just wanted to say that someone is thankful. No matter what happens, that fact will not change.”

The old man woke up first.

“After all, you are a better mourner than me. Because I do not want to be swayed by power, but rather confront the source of power. “He is talented and works hard.”

He came back with a somewhat regretful expression.

“You and I are different. “I’m so glad that.”

He left the room after saying those words. I gritted my teeth in the empty training hall with no one around.

“I wonder if that’s possible.”

But there was no one to listen. I sat for a while longer.