NOVEL WEB Chapter 194
I held my breath.
“I didn’t notice at the time, because at the beginning of my regression, I didn’t show any signs of it, and I was focused on protecting my family.” “…” “Then one day, I got some strange news.”Suddenly, the scene changed, and my ears heard unbelievable words.
[Charles has had a miscarriage…?]My mother’s face went white as she looked at the letter. She trembled with shock and dropped the letter.
[Oh, my goodness, Charles, such a fragile child… How could it happen…] [Honey, calm down, I’ll send someone to find out the details, or at least come up north myself…]Father hugged Mother, who was in tears. Even as he continued to comfort her, a shadow fell over their faces.
And Dahlia, who had been watching the whole thing, asked, dumbfounded.
[A miscarriage…? Duchess Bouser had a miscarriage?] [Dahlia, I know you’re very surprised, but just calm down…] [That can’t be right, no, it couldn’t be, I’m sure she gave birth safely, it was a girl…] [Dahlia?] [Father, it could have been a mistake, let’s double-check…] [Dahlia.]Dahlia was uncharacteristically agitated. Looking at his daughter, who was raising her voice in disbelief, my father shook his head in silence.
Then, speaking in a sad tone, he said.
[I know you can’t believe this, but] I’ve checked it a few times already…] […] [It’s real.] “At first, I thought it was a coincidence.”Dahlia, alone in her room, was stunned. She mumbled to herself like a madwoman.
[Yeah, that’s right, I changed the future, so it can affect everyone around me, right? This is weird, and if I go back, it’ll be just like the first time…] “But it didn’t.” [Charles complains about how cold her husband seems to have gotten lately, and that she can’t even conceive a second time…] [I knew from the beginning that she wanted a second child, but isn’t Rudrick enough of an heir…] [Even if it’s an arranged marriage, mutual respect should be basic, but if you’re so dissatisfied, it’s ridiculous that you’re asking for a divorce…] [Charles is coming to the capital; they’ve had a big fight this time…] “His unhappiness has been a slow process all along.” [He has a lover.]Suddenly I saw the crying face of the Duchess of Bouser.
[What am I to do? I thought I could just stay by his side, that he would look back at me one day, after all, he has found someone else…]My mother continued to comfort the tearful Duchess, and I watched in stunned silence. At the same time, in the distance, Dahlia was also watching them.
Her face was creepily expressionless.
“I still don’t know what happened. I don’t know if something went wrong during the regression, or if the regression itself was flawed in the first place…” “…” “We don’t know what caused it, so we can’t do anything about it. Changing the future doesn’t make things better, and in fact, it gets worse with each regression.” “…” “Later on, I realized, “Did I do something wrong?” [Did I do something wrong?]A muffled voice echoed.
[Are you punishing me like this because I thought I wanted to go back to the past, because I wished so much to be happy, because I made such a wish, huh?]Dahlia was kneeling before the statue. Her hands trembled as she gripped the ground.
[I want to die, so badly, I’d endure any pain to die, I could kill myself dozens, hundreds of times over…]Tears fall to the floor.
[I can’t even do that now…]‘Do you understand now?’
I gaped and lifted my head. She was talking to me. Not echoing in the air like before, but directly in my head.
‘You said you’d find a way. You said you wouldn’t give up. I wish it would work out in this life…’
But what if it doesn’t? What if it doesn’t work out in the next life, and the next, and so on?
‘…’‘You’re not the only one who’s going crazy. You’re the one who’s going to end up…’
‘That’s not possible!’
I shook my head hastily.
‘This time… this time might be different, right? You said this was the first timeline in the first place, so shouldn’t Rudrick be just as happy as he was then? But surely he was…’
‘He was still unhappy, exactly as he was before I last regressed.’
‘What?’
‘I don’t know why. It’s just that his unhappiness continued after crossing the timeline, and it’s the same now.’
Her laughing voice followed.
‘Didn’t you notice, too?’
Me? I noticed what…
For a moment, I was silent as a thought struck me.
There was one thing I hadn’t thought of, one fact that I hadn’t given much thought to, even though I found the novel’s details, or more accurately, the way things had changed, strange.
‘The legacy of the mistress.’
If I remember correctly, the Duke brings his mistress to the mansion, and they live happily ever after, even having a child together.
The Duchess was distressed by the sight and eventually moved into an annex of her own…
But what about this life?
Not only does the mistress have a miscarriage, but the duchess takes the blame.
The Duchess did not enter the annex of her own accord, but was forced into it.
Not to mention the fact that it caused Rudrick to suffer even more.
But if what I thought was a coincidence wasn’t a coincidence. If, indeed, as she said, it happened because I turned back time…
“Dahlia.”The darkness lifted. I stood in a room still bathed in gray.
Barely able to hold on to time, I stood and stared at her, dazed.
Dahlia smiled at me. As if she knew what I was thinking. Soon, dozens of magic circles were glowing around us.
“The preparations are almost complete, now you just need to make a decision.” “…” “You want to protect the ones you love, don’t you?”Dahlia held out her hand toward me.
“Come here.”I flinched, and shuddered.
Of course, I know I shouldn’t take that hand, I know she has a knife in her other hand.
That she’s going to stab me as soon as I take her hand, that she wants to complete the seal before I die.
Yes, I know. And I know it all too well… so why do I…
“Don’t go.”And it was an unexpected person who caught me. The one person who had seen the whole truth with me to the end, Rudrick, who hadn’t said anything until now, grabbed my arm.
“You don’t have to listen to this, it’s all nonsense.” “What nonsense, you should feel sorry for me. I’m just showing you what I went through myself.” “Even if that’s true, it’s their story, not yours, and there’s no guarantee that the same thing will happen to you.” “Do you think Dahlia thinks so? She’s already been there, done that, and it’s pretty clear that the more times we go back, the worse things happen to you…” “I don’t care.”He furrowed his brow, as if he were about to say something.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I don’t know why you keep leaving us out of the equation.” “…” “Okay, let’s say we’re all gone and all her crap is true, so?” “…Huh?”I replied, dumbfounded by the unexpected answer.
“Did you think I’d resent you?” “…” “Did you expect me to blame you for making me this way, to blame you for all my misery?” “Rudrick, I…” “I think I’ve heard you say something similar before.”With a sigh, he said,
“It’s not your fault.”Dahlia’s face hardened.
“You said you wanted to be happy. It’s not like you hurt anyone for it, you were just trying and struggling, so why blame yourself.” “…” “I’d rather blame God, blame someone else for making me this way, but… not you.” “…” “Because I don’t blame you.”Biting my lip, I avoided his serious gaze and muttered in a small voice, “You’re only going to make it worse.
“I can’t stop myself from regressing, and it’s only going to make things worse for you.” “I don’t care.” “It doesn’t matter! I don’t know when I’ll find a way to stop the regression, and in the meantime, I might regress a few more times, and if you have to suffer through that…” “No.”Rudrick’s voice was firm.
“It is more painful for me to watch you sacrifice yourself and do nothing.” “But…!” “When I was younger, I was…”He paused, then spoke slowly,
“I found a lot of comfort in watching you, because unlike me, you always seemed to never give up, even when things got tough.” “…” “I used to think I wanted to be like you. I used to think I wanted to be that strong. And I thought that if I tried hard enough, I could be like you, so that one day I could stand proudly next to you.” “…” “Dahlia.”Rudrick squeezed my shoulder.
“Do what you have to do.” “…” “Because I like you best walking forward.”Then I turned to face him.
As he said it, Rudrick smiled a rare soft smile, and I suddenly felt something burning hot rise up the inside of my throat.
But he made no effort to show it. Instead, he clenched his fists and slowly opened his mouth.
“I’m sorry I got you involved.” “You shouldn’t be sorry.” “I’m sorry that my greed… will continue to cause you pain. I’m sorry…” “Don’t apologize.”Rudrick added briefly.
“I’m fine, and you don’t have to be.”The way he stubbornly stiffened up looked so believable, that I ended up laughing.
Finally, I gathered myself and turned my head to see Dahlia, white as a sheet.
“You’re right, I want to protect the people I care about, but this… this isn’t the way.” “…” “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to take your hand, and I certainly don’t want to be stabbed by your dagger.” “…Ha.” “If you won’t give up, then I won’t either…” “Haha… hahaha!”She burst out laughing.
“What, what are you going to do, one of us is dying, and the other is helpless?” “You…” “Isn’t it you who should give up, not me? Is it because you think the seal won’t be complete unless I stab you?” “…” “I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.”Dahlia, her eyes fierce, snapped her fingers. At the same time, the magic circle that was tightly wrapped around us began to glow white.
“Dahlia!” “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not my fault, it doesn’t matter what happens, you can only say that because you don’t remember. You won’t remember anything when you go back! “Wait a minute…!” “The that remembers everything? The one that will always be remembered? Yes, I don’t care what happens to the people around me. I’m in pain, and I can’t take it! You want to do this again until you can find a way?”She let out a new scream.
“You don’t even know how I feel—!”I rushed to her side.
But I couldn’t. Suddenly, as if she were having a fit, the magic circle burst into bright light.
For a moment, my vision went white.
I shuddered at the flood of light that washed over me like an explosion. Through my fading consciousness, I heard a panicked voice.
“…Why, the trigger… it can’t be… the formula was perfect, I didn’t do anything wrong…”The voice slowly dispersed with the light.
“The seal… the seal is broken…”Rudrick opened his eyes at some point.
He blinked slowly. He wondered if he’d dreamed for a moment. It felt strangely unreal.
Slowly, he looked around him.
It was a place he knew well. It was the Averine mansion he’d visited countless times as a child.
But something was different. The empty rooms, the mismatched furniture, the chill in the air, it was so different from what he remembered.
He felt puzzled. He wondered when the mansion had become so deserted, what he was doing here, and why he was choking on something hard against his hand.
The moment he turned away, he was snapped back to reality.
All hell was breaking loose in front of him.
“Ah, argh…”There was Dahlia’s body, cold and lifeless.