NOVEL WEB Chapter 38
I feel good when I see a plump, inflated plastic bag.
Usually, such a filled plastic bag is stuffed with food.
This isn’t just a recent sentiment; it’s not just because I haven’t been eating well these days.
Even after becoming an adult, I hadn’t felt this way in a long time, but when I was a kid and went to the mart with my mom, I often felt this way.
Following my mom around, looking at various items, I could pick snacks or ice cream that I wanted one by one. I could see what ingredients went into the shopping cart and know what we’d eat that day. Depending on the season, we’d often pick up fruits as well.
One cart wouldn’t be enough, so we’d end up dividing everything into multiple carts, and ultimately, I would carry one myself.
Back in my childhood, I lifted light things, but as I grew older and ended up taller than my mom, I started to carry everything.
After becoming independent, I almost never did that, and eventually, I wasn’t able to anymore.
Today, the one rustling around with the bag was Yuuki. He was taller than me, and for some reason, he treated me like I was a little child, adamantly refusing to let me carry anything.
Yamashita also had something in his hands.
Carrying a newly bought portable stove and gas, Yamashita walked straight ahead without any expression.
Oh, right. I bought a blanket too.
“Don’t you think having more blankets is nice?”
…At Yuuki’s words, I couldn’t help but nod.
He was saying he’d buy a blanket for himself, after all, what could I say?
Blankets are pricier than you might think. In fact, considering the price of a winter coat, it’s hard to say that blankets are cheap. Especially since winter blankets have stuffing inside. Depending on the type, it can vary significantly, but if it has natural stuffing, it won’t be a price you’d casually spend on the same day.
In most households, they are typically taken for granted, so their value isn’t well understood, but if you think of buying one while planning to live alone, that’s precisely when it feels unexpectedly expensive.
One reason I lived without a blanket for a while after coming here was because of that.
…Well, to be honest, I didn’t have much desire to live actively at that time. I just thought to let things flow as they were.
As a result, Yuuki was holding a bag with a blanket in one hand and a heavy plastic bag stuffed with dinner ingredients in the other.
Yamashita was holding a case with the portable stove in one hand, while in the other hand, he had groceries and fuel for the stove.
I was the only one whose hands were empty.
Somehow… it felt extremely uncomfortable.
The age difference I felt was quite significant. I felt like I was making young girls carry their burdens.
But when I tried to lift even a bit of the load, both Yuuki and Yamashita simply refused.
…Did they think I might collapse if I carried something?
“By the way, Kurosawa.”
“Yeah?”
As we climbed the gentle slope toward the alley leading home, Yuuki spoke up.
“Is there a bus that goes from the station to around your place?”
“……”
I thought for a moment and decided to just tell the truth.
“…I’m trying to save even a penny…”
“…I see.”
Yamashita glanced my way at Yuuki’s words, but like Yuuki, he didn’t bother to ask any further.
After that, we walked in silence until we reached the apartment where I lived.
The apartment, softly tinted with the sunset, looked somewhat picturesque. Well, even though there was an alley nearby, it didn’t feel like a city center alley with overly high walls. After all, this was just a neighborhood filled with relatively low houses.
If anything, this was probably on the taller side for an apartment?
“Should I wash up first?”
Yuuki, who returned home, said.
Yamashita and I glanced at each other for a moment.
…To be honest, there were times I returned without washing up.
I usually work and come back late, already extremely tired. I’d just wash my face, clean my hands, wash my feet, change clothes, and flop onto the blanket.
On my days off, it’s not much different.
That’s because the habit of living alone from my previous life remained. Even becoming a high school girl, it didn’t change easily.
“Do you want to wash up first, Kurosawa? We’ll take care of the preparations.”
“…….”
I looked back and forth between Yamashita and Yuuki.
Both of them were staring at me intently.
I felt an unspoken pressure that seemed to scream, ‘Just do it!’
“……Fine.”
I nodded.
While I was the actual owner of the house, it seemed a bit less tiring to follow the majority rule.
Feeling something strange, I took out underwear and clothes from the drawer and stepped into the bathroom.
*
“Alright.”
Seeing Kurosawa Koto Ne enter the bathroom, Yuuki clapped his hands.
“Then, let’s prepare in advance.”
As Yuuki said that, Yamashita reluctantly nodded.
“…Should we spread out the table?”
At Yamashita’s question, Yuuki nodded and went to the kitchen where the ingredients were placed.
Swish, the sound of the shower could be heard through the wooden door of the bathroom.
While listening to that sound, Yuuki left the vegetables he bought on the shelf and started to chop them lightly. It’s not just meat and broth that make up Shabu-shabu.
He filled a pot with water and turned up the heat.
A clattering sound came from the room.
It seemed Yamashita had placed the burner on the table.
Then there was a moment of silence, followed by the cautious sound of someone putting on shoes and coming toward the kitchen.
“……”
Yamashita was hovering behind Yuuki, appearing to be checking if he could do anything to help.
“You can just wait.”
When Yuuki said that, Yamashita fell silent for a moment before opening the door.
“Do you come here often?”
“Not often, just occasionally.”
“…Since when?”
“……”
Yuuki paused briefly.
“Since when did you know Kurosawa?”
“……”
Yamashita went silent for a moment.
“…Since the beginning of the semester.”
“I see. Then I must be later than that. I’m a transfer student, after all.”
“Transfer student?”
“I transferred in April. It’s a bit of a strange timing, isn’t it?”
Yamashita thought for a moment, then made a sound as if brushing against clothing. It seemed like a nod.
“Those are all…”
“Yeah, the things my grandpa brought over. They were just up in storage anyway, so it’s fine if someone who needs them uses them.”
“Why?”
Yuuki pondered for a moment.
Peering intently at the bubbling broth, he spoke.
“Just felt like I didn’t want to leave them alone. They seemed like… they might vanish soon.”
“……”
“Sometimes, there are people like that. They just endure alone, and eventually, they disappear without anyone noticing. And in a month, even the proof that they existed is all gone.”
“Is it the same for Kurosawa?”
“No one really knows how it happened for them. But from what I see… it felt like that.”
Yuuki took a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking.
“After I found out, it continued for a while. Maybe I was just a little selfish. There’s that feeling of guilt, you know? If you know and don’t help…”
Having said that, Yuuki turned around.
Yamashita was quietly watching him.
His face wore an expression devoid of specific emotions.
But Yuuki didn’t think it was inhuman. After all, wasn’t it much more lively than a Yōkai awkwardly trying to mimic human expressions?
“…So that’s why you came?”
“Came for what?”
“You’re sticking with someone like me.”
“……”
Was that really the case?
Honestly, I’m not so sure.
Yuuki’s decision to come here was likely an emotional one. If I asked him why, I wouldn’t know what to answer.
But… it might have been that way.
Yuuki looked at Yamashita. And at his father.
He looked at his friends. Fukuda seemed like the kind who just wanted to play around. His father, while claiming to be legal, didn’t quite seem like the type to be so bold about it.
And combining that with someone like Kurosawa felt a bit off.
Moreover, Miura Mako’s father…
“Maybe that’s it.”
Yuuki decided not to lie unnecessarily.
“……”
Yamashita remained silent, waiting for Yuuki to continue.
That expression didn’t seem to show any particular anger.
“…I’m receiving help.”
Yamashita said.
“I have to stay out here for a bit for some reason.”
“Perfect timing, Kurosawa lives alone?”
“Yeah.”
Yamashita nodded.
“…What do you think the reason is?”
And the question that arrived from behind was one Yuuki couldn’t have predicted.
“Why do you think Kurosawa is helping you?”
Yuuki looked a bit surprised.
Yamashita waited silently for an answer.
Yuuki thought for a moment.
Why would he ask me something like that?
It didn’t take long to come to a conclusion.
There aren’t many people who know Kurosawa deeply. After all, she herself wasn’t that sociable.
Of course, she wasn’t the type to actively push people away, but before the other person approached, she wouldn’t come forward either.
Yamashita seemed to be one of those who accidentally got quite close to her.
He knew there were kids in the same class. That day, Yuuki had seen how the three of them interacted while following behind Kurosawa.
And the way he was willing to jump in to help Yamashita.
Maybe that’s why Yuuki felt confused.
It’s one thing to see her through a lens of prejudice, but it’s quite different to realize that, in fact, they all cared for one another so much. Even Fukuda had to endure being mercilessly hit in the face. He didn’t seem to be seriously injured, but still, it wasn’t easy to jump in and help even after that.
…I too had a strong prejudice, Yuuki thought.
“Maybe we’re thinking the same way.”
“……”
“You don’t know why you came out, but Kurosawa might have thought similarly, right? If she doesn’t help, she might vanish without a trace before someone looks for her.”
“Me?”
As if genuinely confused, Yamashita responded, and Yuuki laughed.
“It’s just a guess. I’m not Kurosawa, after all. If you’re really curious… just ask Kurosawa when she’s out.”
“……”
Right, I suppose it was just a question out of difficulty for direct inquiry.
“That’s right. You’ve been together since the beginning of the semester. I didn’t know. Well, if you don’t say it directly, there’s no way to know.”
Yuuki spoke to Yamashita.
Yamashita fell silent for a moment before nodding.
Honestly, from Yuuki’s perspective, Kurosawa was a pretty unusual friend.
…So far, he hadn’t had much time to make deep friendships while moving around because of work.
Of course, he did have friends who exchanged contact information and insisted on keeping in touch. They sometimes reached out. But after a while, being physically distant usually meant emotional distance too.
Seeing each other’s faces in the same classroom daily, going to and from school together, occasionally drifting off to do something else… He hardly ever experienced such mundane moments.
Maybe that’s why he hoped Kurosawa wouldn’t fade away.
In truth, he had questions he wanted to ask.
Since they were such good friends, why did Kurosawa always sit alone during lunch?
What could be the reason for choosing to find a spot where no one was around, to chew on an empty bread expressionlessly?
…Now that I’ve opened my mouth, it’s something I could take time to find out.
Just then, the sound of water in the bathroom stopped at just the right moment.
“Next time, do you want to wash up first?”
When I asked Yamashita, she quietly nodded.
*
Among my friends from my previous life, there was one who said, “I won’t eat fish that has fallen in water.”
He said he wouldn’t eat fish that went into a stew or soup. He argued that the only “meat” he accepted was grilled meat and that anything else should not exist as meat at all.
Yet, when we ordered kimchi stew, he would pick out the meat from it and eat it. None of my friends were particularly bothered, we just enjoyed the situation.
And then we all went to a Shabu-shabu place, waiting until he ate a piece of meat before teasing him openly.
After a few minutes of teasing, he turned red in the face and finally admitted, “Fish that has fallen in water is still fish.”
That’s right. Shabu-shabu is that delicious.
Thinly sliced beef, momentarily dipped in boiling broth, then dipped in sauce, and placed in his mouth to gently chew.
The fish, packed with broth, splashed all its juices in his mouth as if they were a delicious burst of flavor.
The thin meat would wrinkle as it exited the broth, soaking up the soup between the folds, and when it entered his mouth, biting down would release that juicy essence. It couldn’t possibly taste bad.
And with a scoop of rice, mixing with the rich meat juices balanced the flavors excellently.
It was certainly delicious. I mean, weighing meat by how it’s eaten is just nonsense.
“…Huh?”
Suddenly realizing I might be the only one eating, I snapped back to my senses as Yuuki and Yamashita looked curiously at me.
“…What?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“……”
Once I asked, Yuuki and Yamashita refocused on their food again.
Not only meat but also vegetables mixed well, resulting in a great balance in flavor.
…More than anything, I was relieved that I wasn’t the only one moving my chopsticks while having such a meal. If I sat alone in my room, eating something alone… I would hardly even think to prepare anything for myself.
Well, because of my and Yamashita’s personalities, it didn’t seem like the atmosphere was filled with cheerful conversations like in an ordinary household.
What would I talk about during such times?
Back in high school…
We used to laugh watching variety shows on TV or chat about school stories.
But in the past few days, the school stories I experienced weren’t quite as cheerful as I wished to share.
“It’s been a while since I’ve dined like this.”
I awkwardly opened my mouth first.
In truth, I was in the position of being the one treated to dinner. One could say I was the one providing the space, but I hadn’t purchased this place either.
“……”
And I regretted saying it.
Yuuki took on an expression of guilt.
He had probably had quite a warm meal at home. Although his mother wasn’t there, he had a grandfather and father who got along very well.
Among them, he was the only one who had a home close to normality.
…How is the household of a Yōkai hunter the most normal one? I truly didn’t understand how this gathering had come to be.
“I too, it’s been long.”
Fortunately, it was Yamashita who echoed my thoughts.
But thanks to her responding reply, it felt like the mood of the space had slightly dimmed. If she and I exchanged a few more words, wouldn’t the surrounding atmosphere turn completely black and white?
“Since I usually eat alone.”
“Is that so?”
Yuuki cautiously chimed in.
Yamashita nodded.
“My father was busy… and my sister, after becoming a high school student, was busy too.”
Hearing the mention of an older sister, I tensed up.
Yuuki still doesn’t know, right? I thought I mustn’t make any slip-ups and deny Yamashita’s personal matters.
“The house feels… a bit empty.”
If you think about it, considering that it’s enormous and difficult for families to meet, it is pretty empty.
“So, it’s been a while since I’ve gathered and eaten like this.”
“What do you think?”
Yuuki asked cautiously again.
“…It’s okay. It tastes good.”
Yamashita said softly.
Seeing a slight smile appear on Yuuki’s lips, I felt relieved.
After that, we didn’t engage in much conversation. The TV that was switched on likely made many more sounds than we did.
But it was perfectly fine. The atmosphere had grown much softer as a result.
Dipping thin slices of meat into the bubbling broth was becoming a slightly more enjoyable experience.
*
My house felt larger than I had realized when alone, now that we had three people here.
It’s probably a size that could accommodate a newlywed couple with two kids, right?
We cleared the table and laid out three blankets side by side. Then we all lay down next to each other in our respective spots.
Though the lights were out, due to the absence of curtains at the window, the external lighting made it not overly dark.
In the beginning, I thought about staying up late playing games or watching TV together, but it ended up this way.
Though we had opened up a bit, the three of us still felt slightly awkward in merging together to enjoy the moment.
…In fact, even if it wasn’t awkward, I felt like Yamashita would just silently observe us while we played.
“Today was fun.”
Yuuki said, looking my way.
“……Yeah.”
“……”
I answered, and while Yamashita remained silently still, I didn’t think it was a negative response.
“Can I come again next time?”
I looked over at Yamashita.
She was looking my way.
It seemed she wanted me to make the decision.
At least, that’s what I decided to think.
“……Yeah.”
“Alright.”
When I answered, Yuuki smiled.
…Indeed.
Having someone in the room rather than sleeping alone felt much more reassuring.
Not that it was safe, but it felt reassuring. It felt good not to be alone.
While everyone had their reasons for being here, I still thought that way.
Well, thinking alone isn’t a sin, right?
I didn’t think it would go on forever, but still, I unconsciously wished for it to continue like this for a while.