Chapter 24 - It Shattered
Translator: Elisia
Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle
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“Really, I haven’t used the drug yet.”
[21 minutes]
I was getting anxious.
“So, give it to me.”
The syringes that had fallen to the floor, and the syringe I was just about to use.
Given the situation, someone might think I had used the drug more than twice.
But I’m saying I didn’t.
I don’t use drugs that recklessly.
[19 minutes]
“I promise, it’s true. I was about to use it, but I haven’t yet.”
I’ve never broken a promise.
Anyone would think this was a scene of drug abuse, but it’s not.
“…Sorry. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“For your sake.”
That wasn’t for my sake.
Han Si-Hoo didn’t believe me.
What should I do to make him trust me?
I was getting impatient.
“You’ll treat me like a monster anyway. Doesn’t it make no difference if I use the drug a little or a lot?”
It felt like I made a bad move.
In my haste, I said something wrong.
Han Si-Hoo’s expression hardened slightly.
“No, it’s not like that. …Because you’re my friend.”
Funny how he says things like that.
If we’re friends, you should give me the drug when I ask for it.
“…I really haven’t used it.”
[17 minutes]
I couldn’t control my emotions.
My wrist started to throb.
I could feel the drug’s effects wearing off.
“Oh, I just have to wait, right? Then when can I use it? I can wait five minutes.”
“Sorry.”
“Even if I had already used it, just once more would be fine. Come on, please?”
Let’s say I’ve used it a lot.
But once more should be okay.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
When a friend asks for something like this, you’re supposed to listen.
“Let me use the drug.”
You have it.
You said you’d give it to me when I needed it.
“Sorry.”
“Just once.”
[15 minutes]
Suddenly, I remembered what the doctor said about this drug being more addictive than the previous one.
Yeah, it had an addictive quality.
“Just calm down for now.”
Then give me a sedative or something.
There’s no time.
“Oh, haha.”
I was trying to calm down, but it wasn’t working.
My heart was racing uncontrollably.
[10 minutes]
Before I knew it, only 10 minutes were left.
Why was time disappearing so fast?
“It hurts, I’m telling you it hurts. I need the drug.”
In desperation, I grabbed Han Si-Hoo by the collar and pleaded.
Han Si-Hoo’s eyes wavered.
Now, it was truly dangerous.
I needed the drug.
I reached out for the vial in Han Si-Hoo’s hand.
-Smack!
My fingers brushed the vial, but I couldn’t grab it.
The vial slipped from Han Si-Hoo’s hand.
The vial fell.
Down.
Down.
To the floor.
Thud.
There was the sound of shattering.
The glass that had fallen.
It broke.
The liquid inside spilled onto the floor.
Happiness poured out.
My mind went blank.
“Ah.”
This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.
The blue liquid leaked onto the floor.
I couldn’t process the information coming into my sight.
[7 minutes]
Shards of broken glass scattered everywhere.
The blue liquid that had been inside was on the floor.
Why on the floor?
My mind went blank.
I stood frozen for a moment.
“W-Wait. I’ll get something to clean it up.”
Han Si-Hoo said, rushing towards the entrance.
He looked flustered.
[2 minutes]
Did 5 minutes just disappear?
Not even a minute had passed.
Time evaporated at an alarming rate.
I needed the drug.
I had the syringe.
But the drug was on the floor.
Let’s say I somehow got the drug into the syringe.
With my trembling hands, it would be hard to even give myself a proper injection.
I saw the pool of blue liquid on the floor.
Would the drug still work if I just drank it?
I had never consumed it this way, but I thought it might work.
I knelt down and picked up a shard of glass.
There was still a small amount of the drug pooled there.
I drank it.
Gulp.
The drug brushed my tongue and slid down my throat.
It tasted slightly sour.
Vinegar?
My throat felt like it was burning.
[1 minute]
Time kept decreasing.
Why?
Was it because the amount wasn’t enough?
Should I have brought the syringe after all?
No, even if I had the syringe, it would be difficult.
What should I do?
Once Han Si-Hoo comes out of the room, he will stop me from taking the drug.
How do I use it?
It’s all pooled on the floor.
I tried to scoop it up with my hands, but it didn’t work.
Of course, that wouldn’t work.
What stuck to my fingers wasn’t enough.
There was only one way.
I bent down.
I licked the drug that had pooled on the floor.
It wasn’t easy to lick up.
It seemed like glass shards and dust were mixed in.
It still didn’t feel good.
I felt like a dog.
[1 minute]
At least time didn’t decrease anymore.
That was a small relief.
That was close.
“Yoo Seo-Ah!”
Han Si-Hoo grabbed me and pulled me up.
Glass shards fell from my arm.
Blood was seeping from my palm.
Since I had crouched halfway to the floor, something had stuck to my arm too.
I had been pricked by the glass shards.
[3 minutes]
Han Si-Hoo seemed to be saying something next to me.
Something still felt lacking.
But I endured it.
I was someone who knew how to exercise self-control.
This wasn’t an addiction.
I only tried drinking it because I had no other choice.
Han Si-Hoo was taking me somewhere.
Anyway, I wasn’t planning to drink more of the drug.
If you use too much of the drug at once, you’ll die.
The doctor had said that even water has a lethal dose.
What about drugs then?
Especially in situations like this, where I couldn’t measure the amount, I had to be careful.
I’m not an idiot.
I didn’t want to risk using the drug up to a lethal dose, nor did I want to swallow any glass shards.
I spit out the tiny piece of glass that was in my mouth.
Something thick and salty lingered on my tongue.
A metallic taste.
Was I bleeding?
Either way, I didn’t swallow the glass.
Probably.
[15 minutes]
The time had increased a little.
I could think rationally again.
Was the drug starting to take effect, even if slowly?
I felt strange.
I couldn’t remember what had just happened earlier.
There was blue liquid.
“Oh.”
Blood was smeared on my hand.
Since it didn’t hurt, it didn’t seem like it was my blood.
So, it was someone else’s blood.
Who else was here?
Han Si-Hoo.
Did Han Si-Hoo get hurt?
“Sorry.”
I smiled and apologized.
They say no one can stay angry at a smiling face.
But his reaction was strange.
It didn’t seem like it was my fault that Han Si-Hoo was hurt.
I looked down at my hand.
The blood kept flowing.
It was my own injury after all.
Was I not even remembering what I had just done?
Bandage, where’s a bandage?
If I bleed, the drug’s effect will wear off faster.
That was something I had learned from experimenting before.
[13 minutes]
Ah, damn it.
I think I need to take a little more of the drug.
The time was decreasing faster than it was replenishing.
Where’s the drug?
There was still some left spilled on the floor.
I had to go back.
“Let go.”
Han Si-Hoo grabbed me.
“Hey, I need to take the drug.”
Fear.
I couldn’t understand why he was trying to stop me from using it.
If I didn’t take it now, I’d probably wish I were dead.
“I want the drug.”
“I’ll give it to you, so wait.”
“Okay.”
I pleaded desperately, and it worked.
As expected, he’s the main character.
At least he knows how to show a minimum amount of mercy.
[11 minutes]
I calmed down a little.
[10 minutes]
I wasn’t calm.
My heart was racing.
I forced myself to settle down.
But that wasn’t going to work.
Taking the drug makes me happy.
I should’ve been happy without taking the drug in the first place.
Why was I even in this kind of situation?
Was it because Han Si-Hoo wouldn’t give me the drug?
In the end, the blue drug spilled all over the floor.
If I could have put the whole dose into the syringe, how happy would I have been?
The vial was broken.
Happy days were gone.
I trusted him.
I thought he would give me the drug.
But it was only Han Si-Hoo who didn’t trust me.
He doesn’t think of me as a friend.
At best, I’m just someone he needs to manage.
Even though it’s a situation where it’s understandable that I might be misunderstood for overdosing.
“Here.”
Gulp.
I swallowed the pill Han Si-Hoo brought me.
[43 minutes]
The drug’s effect kicked in again.
“Thanks.”
I expressed my gratitude.
Even though we’re not friends, he takes care of me like this because Han Si-Hoo is a good person.
That’s the only way I can think of it.
As time passed, everything felt cozier than usual.
I felt happy again.
It seemed like I could see a clear sky.
“…Ahahaha.”
There was a rose in my hand.
It felt so strange.
Red.
It looked like a bouquet I could give as a gift.
It seemed perfect to tie it with a ribbon and give it to someone.
I had something on me after all.
It was what Han Si-Hoo gave me.
It was in my pocket.
When I placed it on my hand, it really looked like a bouquet.
The ribbon, too, had traces of red petals.
“Where did the flower go?”
Only bloodstained hands and a bloodstained ribbon remained.
I wasn’t in my right mind.
I was becoming more of a mess again.
[41 minutes]
Han Si-Hoo, while talking on the phone, was examining the syringe with the drug in it.
He looked urgent.
Is he trying to give me more drugs?
Forty-one minutes feels a bit tight.
By now, the ribbon was slipping from my hand.
Had it melted or fallen to the ground?
It was hard to tell.
Was it because I drank the drug?
It wasn’t really meant to be drunk.
Blood was coming from my mouth too.
“Aha…ha.”
I think I feel better, but my head hurts.
I picked up the syringe that had fallen to the ground.
I failed to fill it properly, but there was a small amount inside.
Even though the needle was damaged, I just stuck it in.
-Poke.
[1 hour 18 minutes]
People wouldn’t believe me anyway if I said I didn’t use it.
Then I might as well just say I did.
I don’t have the confidence to convince them anymore.
If I were Han Si-Hoo, I wouldn’t believe it either.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
I just kept stabbing it in.
It’s fun.
The time doesn’t increase anymore, though.
Syringes are meant to be used once.
Reusing it is dangerous.
Poke. Crunch.
The syringe broke while I was stabbing it.
It’s weaker than I thought.
Now, my head really hurts.
Han Si-Hoo ended his phone call and ran towards me.
Thud.
There was a dull sound, and I collapsed to the side.
Get up.
I’m not weak, so I can get up.
Flop.
I tried to stand again, but I failed.
Han Si-Hoo caught my head just in time, so there wasn’t a thud this time.
[1 hour 9 minutes]
Han Si-Hoo was beside me.
He seemed to have asked if I was ok.
-Poke.
Was it the drug?
[11 hours 12 minutes]
This was a sedative.
My consciousness was fading.
What does Han Si-Hoo think when he looks at me?
Why doesn’t he want to give me the drug?
If I think about it, I’ll figure out the answer.
I pictured myself objectively.
Syringes scattered on the ground.
Broken vials.
Loosened bandages.
Liquid leaking from the syringe.
What is that?
I’m just a serious addict.