I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Suicide

Chapter 90

“Summoning God?”

Even just hearing it sounded absurd to Si woo.

The disbelief was evident not only on his face but also on the expressions of Si-hyun and Yeonhwa, who were beside him.

Of all the baffling things, one question stood out most to Si woo.

“Are you saying God actually exists?”

The black goat gazed at him silently for a moment, as if the answer were obvious.

“Let me ask you instead—why do you think God doesn’t exist?”

“Well…”

Si woo started to answer but found himself at a loss for words. Yeonhwa, however, interrupted, her tone sharp and confrontational.

“Is that even a real question? If God exists, how could the world have become such a mess? Wouldn’t God have done something to stop it?”

“That’s only your perspective. Why should God fix the world?” the black goat replied.

“That’s just sophistry.”

“No, it’s a logical conclusion. Abandon the notion that God must be inherently good, and anyone can reach this understanding.”

Perhaps he was right. In a world filled with supernatural powers and monsters, the idea that God might exist wasn’t so far-fetched.

But even if God did exist, then what?

“How do you plan to summon God? And what are you going to do once you do?”

“To create a better world, of course.”

“What?”

Si woo couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.

He had never expected such an answer from this man. It was so out of character that he briefly wondered if he’d misheard.

The atmosphere in the room grew tense. Despite their temporary truce, they had all been mortal enemies only hours earlier.

Claiming a noble cause behind mass slaughter only fueled resentment. Even Si-hyun, who had been silent, frowned and spoke up.

“Turning the world into this mess, and now you talk about making it better? How convenient.”

“I’ve never sought anyone’s understanding.”

“You’re no different from that priest earlier. If anything, you might be worse.”

“Perhaps.”

The black goat remained steadfast in the face of criticism. His unwavering demeanor, devoid of regret, was enough to exhaust anyone trying to reason with him.

“Deep down, you know it too,” he continued. “We’ll never truly understand each other. Our paths align temporarily, but no more than that.”

“Fine,” Si woo replied, shifting the topic back to the matter at hand. “So you’re going back to the academy to summon this God of yours?”

The black goat nodded, steering the conversation back to his objective.

“And the apostles are still at the academy?” Si Woo asked.

“They likely don’t fully grasp the situation and continue to fight.”

While the apostles had the upper hand, the balance had been tipped by the advent of holy water. As the war dragged on, the growing supply of holy water would turn the tide against the apostles.

But that didn’t mean humanity would emerge victorious. A larger supply of holy water meant more human casualties.

The longer the war lasted, the greater the devastation on both sides.

The best course of action was to end the war as quickly as possible.
After some thought, Si woo spoke again.

“So your current goal is to find this ‘mind of God,’ right?”

“Yes.”

“And once you achieve that, there’s no reason for the war to continue?”

“Correct.”

At that, Yeonhwa grabbed Si woo’s shoulder in shock, shouting, “Hey! Are you seriously thinking of negotiating with an apostle?”

“We already started negotiating the moment I healed them,” Si woo replied calmly. “If we’re doing this, we might as well ensure it benefits us too.”

“Damn it!”

Though clearly furious, Yeonhwa couldn’t refute him further. She settled for glaring at the black goat with fiery eyes.

“Your gaze reminds me,” the black goat said. “You’ve grown much stronger since we last met.”

“Shut up. I’ve worked hard just to beat bastards like you.”

“Impressive. I like that fire in your eyes.”

There was nothing more infuriating than receiving praise from an enemy. Grinding her teeth, Yeonhwa stalked off to cool down.

Watching her leave, Si woo decided to focus on concluding his discussion with the black goat.

“If we’re forming a temporary alliance, you need to act more cooperatively. Provoking us won’t help anyone.”

“I had no such intention, but I understand. I’ll be mindful.”

“Good. Then let’s start negotiating.”

—

The negotiation proceeded surprisingly smoothly.

Because their interests aligned, there was little room for disagreement.
The apostles, under the black goat’s leadership, were focused solely on obtaining the mind of God. While some apostles harbored strong hostility toward humans, none would disobey the black goat’s orders to continue the war.

From Si woo’s perspective, their priority was to end the war as quickly as possible. They reached an agreement to cease hostilities once the apostles acquired the mind of God, with minimal human casualties as a condition.

Additionally, there was another stipulation: they would target and dismantle the academy’s ruling council and thwart their plans.

The council was too dangerous to be left unchecked. In fact, Si woo believed they might be a greater threat to humanity than the apostles themselves.

No matter how noble their goals, their methods were unacceptable.

After much deliberation, Si woo concluded that eliminating the council would benefit humanity.

He acknowledged that his judgment might be flawed. Perhaps the council was a necessary evil, and their absence would tip the balance entirely in the apostles’ favor.

But could such an existence be considered humanity’s victory? Could survival built upon such corruption be called triumph?

“…”

There was no clear answer. It was a matter of perspective, shaped by individual values and beliefs.

Si woo, however, couldn’t accept such contradictions. He decided he would rather face ruin than uphold such a system.

His decision wasn’t made in isolation. He consulted Si-hyun and Yeonhwa, and they both agreed, though Yeonhwa was visibly reluctant. After explaining the situation to her, even she conceded that this was their best option for now.

With that, their plan was set: as soon as everyone recovered, they would return to the academy.

But neither Hana nor the apostles woke quickly.

Hana, in particular, showed no signs of consciousness despite having no visible injuries. Perhaps the side effects of her abilities were severe.

Time passed anxiously, and before they knew it, night had fallen.

Unable to stay awake indefinitely, the group decided to rest. The sanctuary had plenty of vacant rooms, so each found a place to sleep.

Of course, sleep didn’t come easily. Si-hyun tossed and turned in her bed for what felt like an eternity before finally sitting up.

“…”

This serene moment felt utterly surreal.

Just hours ago, they’d been on the battlefield, fighting for their lives. Now, they were in the apostles’ stronghold, attempting to rest.

Her thoughts spiraled, culminating in a vivid memory of her sister—her only family.

She already knew what had become of her sister. Witnessing the Archmage’s end had made it painfully clear.

Valentina, who had shared the holy water with her sister, likely met the same fate.

Si-hyun understood intellectually. Heroes protecting humanity always faced the threat of death. It was a life where such partings were inevitable.

But understanding didn’t make it any easier to control her emotions.

After losing her younger brother, Si-hyun had lived with her sister as her sole companion. Even after entering the academy, her sister had always been there.

But now, she is gone.

The crushing loneliness of being left behind filled Si-hyun. The once-strong girl now wavered dangerously.

What would change once they returned to the academy? Would anything improve if the council succeeded in their plans or if the apostles summoned God?

Her sister would still be dead. And she would still be alone.

An overwhelming emptiness consumed her, leaving a gaping hole in her chest.

There was no way she could sleep like this. Abandoning the effort, Si-hyun rose from her bed and stepped out of her room.