I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Suicide

Chapter 11

Ah, I want to commit suicide.

While thinking such trivial thoughts, I headed to the science lab.

Peeking through the window, it didn’t seem like anyone was inside.

Except for one science teacher.

Creak.

I opened the door without knocking.

A sort of timid rebellion, I suppose.

He greeted me while holding a beaker and examining something.

“Oh, you’re here. Did you enjoy the class?”

“I don’t know.”

I roughly pulled out a chair and collapsed into it.

I rested my cheek on the desk.

Why do I have to be here when there’s nothing to do?

I just want to go back to the dorm.

So I want to commit suicide quickly.

But I can’t do that.

Right now, suicide has become difficult.

If it weren’t, I wouldn’t have bothered coming to class.

I would have just committed suicide right away.

A lot has gotten tangled up due to last night’s incident.

What’s the most important thing when committing suicide?

First is quiet. Second is also quiet. Third is also quiet.

To be more precise, the term ‘secretly’ might fit better.

As I’ve emphasized several times, if there were no conditions, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

I could just open the window and jump out right now.

Any method of suicide would surely be caught.

The attention on me is already too high.

Both Kim Si woo and Mine.

So what should I do right now?

I don’t want to commit suicide recklessly; I need to first lessen the interest in me.

Is that possible, you ask?

It probably is.

Even if they want to pay attention to me, as the original story progresses, they’ll be busier than they can handle.

I don’t even have to wait until then.

Just until next week.

I’m thinking of next Wednesday as D-day.

In exactly eight days, everything will be over.

If everything goes according to plan, that is.

“So why did you call me?”

“Hmm. There isn’t a specific reason. You were planning to go back to the dorm anyway, right? If that’s the case, it would be better to stay here.”

At those words, my expression soured.

What kind of confidence is that?

Does he really believe it’s better to be with him?

“Cheer up. We’re in a secret-sharing relationship, after all.”

“Hmph. I’m fine.”

I’m tired.

My head hurts.

Even without any signs of an attack, Yoo Hana’s body is fragile.

It’s always in a bad condition.

Ah, I’m bored.

I want to commit suicide.

Sitting still is making me restless.

So I decided to look around the science lab.

Of course, I didn’t ask for permission.

“Oooh…”

I marveled at the creepy skeleton model.

Skeletons in science labs are a staple of school ghost stories.

Oh? For some reason, it feels like déjà vu…

Well, it must be a misunderstanding.

As I was admiring the periodic table on the wall, I spoke to him.

“Isn’t there anything interesting?”

“Hm. This is a place for class, not a playroom.”

“Boring.”

Is he cosplaying as a teacher?

As if he’s anything more than Mine.

While I was wandering aimlessly around the science lab, he spoke first.

“How was Si woo?”

“…That’s so random. What do you mean, how was he?”

“Don’t you talk about what happened yesterday?”

Yesterday’s event.

The conversation the two of them had while I was asleep.

Kim Si woo probably knows about it.

In truth, I wasn’t asleep then.

I had my eyes closed but was listening to everything.

As I recalled the memory, my expression automatically darkened.

Yesterday, I made a deal with him.

It felt like a contract with a devil.

Something I didn’t want to do, and worried about the consequences, but had no choice but to do it.

It was then.

“Ugh…!”

An immense pain started from my heart.

A sign of an attack.

It’s hot.

My whole body feels like it’s boiling.

It feels like lava is flowing through my veins instead of blood.

They say that just one dose of drugs makes you forget the pleasure for a lifetime.

I am no exception.

Thanks to that damn strawberry-flavored vitamin he gave me, I can’t forget the pleasure.

The pain from the attack is also much more vivid.

Thus, I become addicted and start to crave it.

Before I knew it, I realized.

It’s not that I want the pain to stop.

I want the pleasure.

In that moment of suffering from pain, no, in the moment of craving pleasure.

He silently handed me a bottle.

My gaze is fixed.

If I eat that sweet strawberry, heavenly blessings will await me.

I slowly reached out my hand.

Thwack!

“Get that away from me.”

“Even after seeing it again, that’s impressive mental strength. How are you enduring this?”

“…It’s noisy. It’s ringing in my head.”

“I’ve never seen anyone refuse this medicine in their right mind. Not even twice. You have no idea how surprised I was yesterday.”

To be honest, I’m surprised too.

I know better than anyone the happiness that drug provides.

I’ve experienced it firsthand.

My mind is constantly crying out for pleasure.

My brain orders me to take it.

But my body is being troublesome.

No matter how much my brain sends signals, it’s unyielding.

Instead, my arm pushes away the hand that offers the drug, and my mouth spits out a firm refusal.

How is this possible?

Perhaps.

It’s because my mind is ‘me,’ but my body is ‘Yoo Hana.’

Yoo Hana’s body instinctively knows.

The moment I take that drug again, I will completely break.

It won’t just be me, but my relationship with Kim Si woo.

The moment I resolve to take the drug, Si woo’s face appears in my mind.

He’s just a character in a novel, nothing to me.

But when I see that face, my mind becomes clear. I regained my reason.

‘Yoo Hana. What the hell…’

But the pain doesn’t disappear.

The attack continues. The effects of the drug remain.

It’s at a level I can’t endure alone.

In preparation for such a situation, I struggled to take the syringe I had brought from my bag.

It was well sealed, so there shouldn’t be any problems.

Even if something went wrong, it would be better than this damned pain.

“Ha… Ha…”

It’s hard to breathe.

The one whose kindness I refused was quietly watching me.

What’s there to be afraid of if he helps me at a time like this?

My hands trembled as I searched for a vein.

The headache made it hard to concentrate.

I bit my lips hard enough to draw blood and forced myself to focus.

Fortunately, I managed to pierce the syringe without missing the vein.

I pressed down on the piston and injected the painkiller.

Maybe a minute passed. The effects began to slowly manifest.

“Ugh… Ha…”

With a relieved sigh, I collapsed on the floor.

Soon my body filled with a nauseating calm.

It’s a contradictory expression.

But it’s also the most accurate description.

Having already tasted overwhelming pleasure through the strawberry, the drug’s effect feels trivial like child’s play.

I want a pleasure that’s much greater than this.

I want to crawl over and beg him for strawberries right now.

Of course, I didn’t do that.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Please leave. I want to be alone.”

“This is my science lab, you know.”

“That’s true.”

I couldn’t argue against that.

I want to jump out and die.

“If it’s because it’s a pill, I could make it in liquid form.”

“No thanks.”

Strawberry-flavored potion, huh?

I wonder if it would taste like strawberry milk?

The painkiller made my head fuzzy.

Why did I come to the science lab?

Ah, that man called me.

And after calling me, he did nothing.

Should I just go back?

I don’t know why I should stay here.

I hope I won’t run into Kim Si Woo on the way.

“I heard that Hana is an incapable person.”

Is that an auditory hallucination?

No, he really spoke in reality.

“Yes. So what?”

“Don’t you wonder what your ability is?”

My ability.

Yoo Hana’s ability.

I’m not particularly curious.

Because I roughly know it from watching the original.

“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”

What I was more curious about was the intention behind bringing up such a random topic.

“I heard that Si woo’s ability is quite special.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Haha, I have my sources. So, let me ask you.”

He paused and asked in a meaningful tone.

“Do you feel jealous?”

Ah, so that’s what this is about.

Is he finally taking a more direct approach?

Is he trying to provoke my insecurities and sow discord between us?

Not a chance. I wouldn’t…

Wait. Anyway, I’m not falling for such an obvious trap.

“That’s right. Si woo’s ability is amazing. But he’s not special because of it. Si woo shines not because of his ability.”

He stared at me and then said,

“Hana, you seem to like Si woo.”

Hmm? It’s true that Yoo Hana likes Kim Si woo…

Did my acting seem that natural?

What did I say?

I can’t remember well, probably because of the painkillers.

When I get the shot, my head becomes fuzzy.

By the way, strawberries disappear as soon as you eat them.

“That’s enviable.”

“…What? No, ugh! Gross!”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

Yoo Hana is 18 years old!

Besides, she looks even younger!

As expected of Mine.

How can she act like that and still be human?

She completely disregards human ethics.

It’s filthy.

If I stay next to her, I’ll probably be assaulted.

She would forcefully feed me strawberries and then…

Hmm…

Unexpectedly…?

No, that’s not it.

Still, this isn’t right.

Unlike that trash, I’m not Mine; I’m human.

I shook my head vigorously to dispel the impurities.

“A guest has arrived.”

“…Yes?”

A guest?

Before his words were even finished, someone knocked on the door to the science lab.

“Come in.”

The door slowly opened, revealing the guest.

It was a familiar face.

“Hello, teacher.”

A female student politely bowed to greet him.

He nodded in response to her greeting.

“Yes, hello. So, it’s definitely… Han Si-hyun, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

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