I Became Artemis’ Boyfriend

“…So, I ended up like this because I got all worked up.”

After spilling everything, Artemis looked dejected, like a puppy who’d had its bone snatched away.

Listening to her story, I really didn’t think it was such a big deal from my perspective.

Imagining Artemis being anxious all day over such fantasies,

felt kind of suffocating, and I found myself looking down at her with a disapproving gaze.

But what could I do?

Artemis may be hopeless sometimes, but she’s still my one and only girlfriend.

“Hic, hic.”

“Ugh, your nose is running again. Here—”

Before the mucus could wet her lips, I pulled out a few tissues to hand to her.

Or rather, I tried to hand them to her.

Instead, Artemis kept her hands where they were and leaned her face closer.

Then, without warning, she pressed her nose naturally into the tissue I was holding.

And then…

HONK!!

Our princess, Artemis—well-versed in the care routines of priestesses—blew her nose with satisfaction.

“…”

A thick, yellow mucus dribbled out, and the thin tissue quickly soaked through.

With my palm as her canvas, the damp tissue began to create its masterpiece.

Oh, this is disgusting.

Still, I can’t genuinely feel repulsed by it, which surprises even me.

Is this what they call universal love that only blossoms in an intimate relationship?

Thinking about it, a kiss is basically inhaling someone else’s saliva—

compared to that, this hardly registers as anything at all.

“Are you done?”

“…I think there’s a little left. Can I blow again?”

“…”

After blowing her nose twice into my hand, Artemis seemed satisfied and stopped crying abruptly.

While wiping the remnants of snot from her lips with the back of her hand, her black lip tint smeared across both sides of her mouth, making her look like a circus clown.

“…!”

This is bad.

Once I started thinking of her as a clown, the image wouldn’t leave my head.

I pinched my thigh and decided to take a brief moment for meditation.

Hold it together.

Stay strong.

Please, Ark.

Yeah.

Rather than struggling to suppress my laughter, I should redirect the conversation.

“Artemis? Let’s clarify one last thing. Was everything you just said really just a joke?”

“Huh.”

“Sure, the weird makeup might’ve been a joke—but was the reason you decided to wear makeup really because of me and Clotho?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Why do you keep asking?”

“Haa… I see.”

The root of her anxiety.

Succinctly put, the serious but playful talk Clotho delivered during the Storm Summit truly shocked Artemis.

The content of what Clotho said back then was not something I could easily dismiss, either—

The inevitability of great heroes gathering many women,

And the outright declaration of polygamy, branding monogamy as naive,

Which, incidentally, threw a spotlight on Artemis’s position as the Goddess of Purity.

And so on.

She perceived these as threats.

Thus, out of a sense of urgency and unease, she decided to take the risky step of trying makeup today to look prettier for me.

At first, I couldn’t believe her explanation.

The usual Artemis would mock such actions and move on—but considering the recent prophecy and the Oracle’s assault on her divine status, her behavior wasn’t entirely illogical.

“Haa… You actually went through all of this over that?”

“WHAT?! ‘JUST THAT’?! After stressing me out, ‘JUST THAT’???”

“…Hmm, maybe it’s not that big of a deal…”

Interrupting her might just upset her further, so I closed my mouth.

In my position, I couldn’t fully relate to everything she said, but

I understood her effort to try makeup.

As the room fell silent with my silence, Artemis seemed restless—unhappy with the situation as she fidgeted with her fingers, waiting to say something.

“Hey, boyfriend.”

“Wow, I’m starting to get used to that. Anyway, what is it?”

“Do you like sex?”

“PUHAAAAAAAK!! -COUGH! COUGH!”

Swallowing a sip of black coffee midway, I gagged violently and spilled the whole thing down my throat.

A word I’ve never heard from her in all the time we’ve been together.

Was I maybe mishearing it?

Perhaps I mistakenly heard ‘sex’ instead of something else.

“What? What did you say? Can you repeat it?”

“Do you like sex?”

Her expression was completely calm and nonchalant.

Seeing her so composed made me feel silly for spitting out soda like an idiot.

After all, someone like her who has lived for thousands of years wouldn’t be embarrassed by a word like that.

Sex.

The act of intercourse between a man and a woman.

An activity distant from me.

More accurately, due to the nature of my girlfriend, one could say it’s not something that applies to me.

Still,

Regardless of whether it’s possible or not, her question—do I like sex—could be responded to universally:

What man in this world doesn’t like it?

But why is Artemis, who knows full well about male physiology, asking me this?

“Hmm…”

Before answering lightly, I mentally anticipated her reactions.

Proper simulation is key.

1. If I say that I like it.

“Of course, I like it!”

“Figures. You pervert!!”

I could imagine Artemis screwing up her face, looking at me like a cockroach, and slapping me.

2. If I say I hate it.

“What are you talking about, dear Artemis? I hate physical love.”

“Liar!!”

…

No.

Regardless of the answer, this leads straight to a ‘Hell Ending.’

Think, Ark!

You can solve this hypothetical situation with a brilliant plan.

“Why so quiet all of a sudden? Do you like it?”

“M-Me? I only like foreplay.”

“Eh?? …You said you like it. What nonsense is this about liking only foreplay??!!”

Contrary to my thought that my quick wit saved the situation,

Artemis, being serious, clearly felt I was teasing her, so she began violently throwing anything she could get her hands on.

Now, despite having become somewhat accustomed to her outbursts, I dodged everything she threw by skillfully moving around.

She got even angrier about that,

Came rushing at me, straddling my chest, and started pounding my face with her fists.

I swear,

If Artemis ever entered a mixed martial arts tournament, she’d definitely become the undisputed champion.

“A-Alright, alright! I’m sorry, sorry!”

An honest apology made her open her eyes lazily as she got up.

Puffing her cheeks like a squirrel and crossing her arms, she turned her back to me, sitting quietly nearby.

Watching her back reminded me of a scene from a manga.

A romance where the heroine radiated the aura of ‘I’m upset, soothe me.’

“Artemis~”

Cautiously approaching her from behind, I called her name in a sweet tone,

But, as expected, she didn’t respond at all.

I hesitantly placed my hands on her stiff shoulders and began to massage her gently,

Initially wincing in pain, she soon relaxed, her sharp gaze softening into a rounder one.

“Is this really going to make my anger go away?”

“Aww~ don’t be silly. Still, you could use this as a massage fee, right? I have a question.”

“…What is it?”

Her softened tone conveyed her tacit agreement.

Good. Let’s press on with this opportunity.

“S-So, why did you ask about intercourse?”

“Why shouldn’t I ask?”

“I mean… it’s not something you’d usually ask, given your role as the Goddess of Purity.”

“Well… what Clotho said keeps echoing back in my ears. It irritates me.”

The statement that irritated her is obvious.

Polygamy or offspring.

Maybe both.

Clotho’s shocking words to me have become a painful thorn for Artemis.

“I don’t know… Think about it, Artemis. Let’s say we’re married. Does it seem like I’d cheat on you?”

“How do you know?! Even Lady Hera couldn’t control our dad!! Dad was just too strong… so he only punished the women he was having affairs with… like mom did too.”

Profoundly protesting and raising her voice, she hung her head in gloom as memories of her mother Leto surfaced.

There was another surprising point.

She mentioned her father Zeus in relation to our relationship.

Why did the goddess, much stronger than me, even bring up Zeus?

This is evidence that she’s worried I’m gaining power and, in the end, will become someone she can’t control.

“Artemis, don’t worry. I won’t set my sights on another woman.”

“B-But! I’m the Goddess of Purity, and you’re just such a lecherous guy… Sooner or later…”

“Don’t worry. There will be no infidelity from me. I’ll make you a promise. If another woman catches my eye, I’ll properly break up with you first and then date her.”

“WHAT?! Break up? Are you crazy!!!!”

The mention of a breakup triggered an attack.

As she tried to turn to me sharply,

I swiftly

removed my hands from her shoulders and wrapped them around her waist.

Preventing her from turning around… tightly!

“!”

Startled at the strange grip on her waist, she froze.

In that instant, I whispered softly into the ear of the tense Artemis.

“Don’t worry about that either. There’s no way we’ll break up, right?”

Only then did she finally calm down like a warm, snug cat.

Quietly enfolding her hands around my hands that rested on her belly, she let out a soft sigh.

“Haa… Something feels… strange. Things are going wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s obvious that I should have the upper hand, being beautiful and strong… But since we’ve been dating, I keep feeling like the one clinging.”

“Now you’ve started to understand how I feel.”

“Shut up! Not a chance!”

From this, I could sense how much Artemis had grappled with this internally.

No matter how much she toyed with her belly with both hands, there was no response.

But thanks to this, I’m happily enjoying touching her softness, making it a win-win.

“AHAHAHAH. That’s my girlfriend. Anyway… regarding sex, there’s only one thing I want to say to you.”

“What?”

“Don’t jump into decisions because of outside influences. Any acceptance or rejection should only come from a place of your own understanding, so you don’t regret it later.”

“Damn, you talk like an expert. Don’t act so sympathetic.”

“Humanity’s legacy, books, allow indirect experiences, don’t they?”

“I guess so.”

Then it happened.

The warm and sweet atmosphere of the bedroom was interrupted as the door suddenly swung open.

Maia barged in without knocking and hastily covered her face with her hand upon seeing us embracing.

“Miss Artemis! Oh no! I’m sorry!”

“No, no! It’s not like that!”

Pushing my face with her elbow, Artemis stood up red-faced.

Peering through her fingers, Maia grinned mischievously at my forlorn expression before turning serious and walking toward Artemis.

“Miss Artemis. Here’s an invitation.”

“An invitation? From where?”

“From Olympus. A trial is set to take place, and both defendant Artemis and Ark must attend.”

What?!

A defendant?

What trial is this?!

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