I Became Artemis’ Boyfriend

How do you perceive professional certifications such as doctors, lawyers, accountants, and so on?

Naturally, I consider them extraordinary.

Because they are specialized qualifications certified by the state, achieved through arduous effort.

Humans also take great pride in their own expertise, but what about the gods of Olympus?

If anything, they have even more pride.

And yet, despite realizing the obvious psychology and desire for recognition that they possess, I insulted Athena, the embodiment of wisdom.

Moreover, disregarding a god’s dominion is the same as outright denying their very existence.

Athena tightly closed her trembling eyes and withdrew the spear she had aimed at me.

“Priest Ark, it seems you fear death not?”

“I do fear it. Considering the mountain of grievances I must handle upon returning to the temple, it’s quite burdensome.”

“Good. Today will be your last.”

“I merely seek the truth. I have never contemplated my end.”

“This isn’t about truth or falsehood. What matters is my firm resolve to eliminate you.”

In all my recollection, there isn’t a single human who disrespected or mocked a god and remained unscathed.

I am fully aware that this is an extremely perilous situation.

It was my own actions that brought about this crisis.

No amount of sweet-talking could possibly console her now.

And if someone were to ask why I challenged Athena like a madman, the response is rather simple.

Because she doesn’t suit me.

This Athena, wearing a mask of feigned smiles and pretending to be cheerful, doesn’t sit well with me at all.

“I don’t approve of you.”

“Hmm? What a coincidence. For once, we’re in agreement.”

At this point, no matter how many disrespectful remarks I hurl her way, she doesn’t bat an eyelid.

It feels as if she’s allowing me to vent, since I’m doomed anyway.

Athena stepped down from her chariot and pointed her finger skyward.

The chariot then surged into the air, circling the military camp repeatedly as it guarded against any demon attacks.

“I don’t want your filthy blood staining the chariot’s wheels. You wouldn’t use a broadsword to kill a chicken, would you?”

“Lions give their all, even when catching a rabbit.”

“Isn’t it absurd to expend maximum effort just to catch a mouse in a trap?”

“The saying goes that a cornered rat will bite a cat. It’s the part of an encirclement where caution is needed the most.”

“Hah! Arguing tactics and strategies with the goddess of war? How presumptuous.”

We exchange verbal barbs, unseen blades darting back and forth.

Every time our worded attacks clash, the intensity grows, elevating to the level where tongues can kill.

Neither wishes to concede in this battle of egos, and the mental strain begins to gnaw away at us.

“That’s enough.”

Athena sighed, seemingly tired, as she raised her hand.

A lance neatly displayed on a stand in the command post floated into the air, its sharp tip aimed at my heart.

“Big Sister! Just a moment!!!”

Until then, Artemis, who had silently observed, intervened between the two of us.

“Artemis? This is not your place to intervene.”

“Why not? He’s my priest. No god can take a priest’s life so casually!”

“It’s different for senior priests, and besides, there’s a wartime situation. I will enforce execution for disrespect and insult to a superior.”

She was at a loss, well aware of Athena’s decisive nature.

And so, after a quick scan of her surroundings, Artemis concluded that the easiest target was me and approached with determined steps.

“Hey!”

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure why you’re behaving this way, but this has to stop. Get down on your knees, bow to Big Sister, and apologize.”

Was Artemis’s mediation taking effect?

Athena crossed her arms, deciding to wait and see how the situation plays out.

It appears that if I sincerely apologize, she might forgive me for her younger sister’s sake.

But…

I do not wish to.

Pressure applied only caused a stubborn streak akin to a toad’s.

With hands folded behind my neck, I started to whistle casually.

“Huh~ hoo~ hooeeek~”

“You’re at it again!”

Switching to my side, she assumed a low stance and delivered a devastating low kick to my shins.

“Kkyaahk!”

My legs buckled involuntarily, placing me in a kneeling position before Athena.

And simultaneously, a shocking event occurred.

“Big Sister!”

“A-Artemis!”

Artemis had stuck to my side, kneeling as well.

Athena, standing up with surprise, stumbled backward.

This was understandable, as she had just effortlessly broken the unspoken rule that gods must never kneel before humans, except under extraordinary circumstances.

“This bastard is my priest. An able one. He just sometimes acts crazy.”

“Break the unspoken rules of Olympus over a skilled priest? Artemis, you impudent one!!”

“It’s not that. He’s special to me.”

“Wait… Surely you aren’t implying…?”

“Ah, no, absolutely not! This guy is just working on the Twelve Labors right now.”

True to her wisdom, Athena pieced together the entire situation from the mention of the Twelve Labors alone.

Though she seemed displeased with the conclusions drawn.

“Stand up.”

“No way!”

As Athena approached to forcefully draw her sister up by the arm, Artemis struggled like a fish caught on a hook, causing Athena to give up.

“Why?!?”

“So we can be scolded together and it’ll be less anxiety-inducing.”

“!!”

Her final statement struck a nerve so profoundly that the very act caused me to suddenly look up from my bowed position.

In the past, I once kneeled beside Artemis before Zeus and Leto, an act stemming from the belief that being punished together was less embarrassing than doing it alone.

Could it be that someone as self-centered and temperamental as Artemis was doing this for me?

While I may not agree with her actions, her empathy for my predicament spoke volumes.

Could this be evidence of Artemis beginning to genuinely care, even just a little?

Suddenly, my heart started pounding.

I clutched my chest to subdue the racing heartbeat.

“Fine. I’ll back down, sister.”

“Really?”

“But! The reasons for your blasphemy must be explained. That will determine the severity of your punishment.”

She remained seated in her chair atop the dais, looking down at me.

Standing up, while still on my knees, seemed somewhat unnecessary.

“Stay kneeling!”

Artemis gently pressed her hand on my shoulder.

But the weight I felt was anything but light.

It felt like being pinned down by reinforcing bars.

I could sense her heavy-heartedness, wishing for this situation to pass without incident.

Alright.

It’s time to bring this to a close.

“As I previously mentioned, Athena doesn’t suit me.”

“You seem to have forgotten that sentencing not only can reduce punishment but also increase it.”

Athena’s indirect warning for me to choose my words carefully.

But Athena must understand this as well:

If this man had been one to heed warnings, none of this would’ve happened in the first place.

“Isn’t it better to erase that false smile of yours before contemplating your sentencing?”

“…”

It’s only just beginning.

Through the exchange of hidden truths, let’s determine who stands for justice.

“Isn’t projecting that fake smile while belittling men as predictable, or telling women to only focus on dresses…rather problematic?”

Athena wasn’t genuinely looking down on humanity with those words; she was projecting her own insecurities.

Perhaps beneath the armor, she yearns for comfort and to wear beautiful dresses.

Maybe she even dreams of a world where armor isn’t necessary—a world at peace.

Whether either interpretation holds true, both speak to her incongruity.

The point is, Athena’s forced cheerfulness hides a rotting core within her.

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

“With every forced smile, you’re actually advertising your own struggle and unhappiness, don’t you think?”

Startled, Artemis looked back and forth between Athena and me, questioning if it were true.

Athena made no reply, not even a glance.

She maintained her false cheer with a slight upturn of her lips.

Now even that mocking grin seems like yet another mask to shield herself.

“Struggles? Unhappiness? Look around me, Ark.”

Athena scoffed, spreading her arms forward powerfully.

“My chariot floating in the heavens, a chariot that pierces through flames and storms. Spears capable of destroying fortress walls, shields unmatched in strength. And this armor I wear—do you know who crafted it?”

She went on to introduce her divine arsenal.

Her excessive boasting was near to ask, ‘with weapons like these, how could I possibly be struggling or unhappy?’

Ah… I resonate with her.

One of these alone would allow someone to dominate the world, and yet, Athena is fully equipped with top-tier gear.

I declare it plainly:

In the Olympus pantheon, Athena is undoubtedly the ultimate cheat character.

But she has a flaw.

The forced cheerfulness and false smiles are just to cover it up.

More precisely, it’s her lack.

Namely,

“Affection.”

I responded succinctly, filled with firm belief that she couldn’t fool me.

But Athena, in response, thumped the armrest of her chair and burst into loud laughter.

“Kuh! Haha! Ha! Oh, Artemis! Did you hear that? We, the virgin goddesses, are being lectured about affection by a human with a mere century to live.”

“Hmm. That’s typical. This guy goes berserk dozens of times a day.”

Artemis sighed in agreement, shaking her head.

Satisfied that her sister, the goddess, took her side over her own priest, Athena smiled affectionately and beckoned her over with a wave.

An invitation to come and sit while enjoying the spectacle of me kneeling in retribution.

“Nope. Nope, Big Sister.”

Artemis shook her head again, meeting her older sister’s gaze.

In her unwavering eyes flowed an unshakable trust.

“This guy’s tantrums always have a reason.”

Her unconditional faith lightened my heart.

My chest swelled with emotion as I looked up at her face.

The crescent-shaped eyes, glowing under the moonlight, were clear proof she saw straight through my soul!

Artemis now fully comprehended:

The reason Ark was disrespectful to Athena.

The reason for his desperate resistance.

And the reason why, despite being Athena’s sister, he couldn’t accept or love her.

It wasn’t some grand godly ability.

Artemis, too, recalling memories of worrying about Athena’s ‘certain part’ in the past, easily pieced together Ark’s true feelings.

She removed her hand from my shoulder and took a step forward, kindly offering her hand.

“Stand up, Ark. You’re not a sinner anymore.”

“My knees hurt like they’ll die.”

I got up, grabbing her extended hand.

We exchanged smiles full of shared meaning.

The furious cries of Athena—”Who gave you permission?”—were now drowned out.

“Ah! Did you intend to achieve all this from the start? Are you here to fix everything?”

“Yes.”

“Greedy. Well, go on now!”

She playfully slapped my back for the grand finale.

Her push filled me with immense gratitude, as she knows all too well the difficulty and loneliness of the path I’m about to walk.

“Right now, what exactly are you two doing?”

Athena’s voice trailed off as she alternated her gaze between the two of us, smiling.

In this ‘us,’ Athena was absent.

Through us, she finally realized the fragment of affection she had buried deep within her heart—loneliness.

With a loud crash, Athena rose to her feet, the ground trembling beneath her.

Her face flushed, though her breathing was ragged despite standing still.

“I’m Zeus’s firstborn! I enjoy the favor of my strongest father!”

The thief was startled by her own actions.

Or, perhaps, her loud declaration was a way to reinforce her self-hypnosis, which was starting to unravel.

“There’s nowhere my chariot can’t reach! My spear can obliterate not just fortress walls but entire cities! My Aegis shield blocks even lightning! Plus, my helmet—”

“Ah, ah, how much longer will you keep boasting about antiques, Athena?”

“What… did you say?”

I stepped closer, pretending to clean my ears.

In response, the goddess of war took a step back.

“Athena, you certainly have obtained the best things and a high reputation.”

“That’s right. I—”

“But!”

I shattered the fortress of Athena’s heart, adorned with brilliant jewels and gold.

“Despite all that, you’ve never truly attained what you truly desire, have you?”

“!!!!”

Checkmate.

Athena ceased her struggle against me and her own inner self.

Once the hidden core of her heart was exposed, what use would steel armor even serve?

Her eyes lost focus, and she resembled someone whose spirit had left her body.

Or rather, like a wooden puppet.

A puppet controlled and manipulated by others.

“Big Sister.”

Artemis approached her slowly.

“I didn’t know either. Thanks to Ark today, I’ve finally realized. You’ve been so lonely and suffered so much, haven’t you?”

“Ah… Ah…”

“Among the twelve of us, only Big Sister Athena has been isolated from familial love. Why was I so negligent?”

And then, she enveloped the lovely Athena, who had given up on everything and become disheartened, in a tight embrace.

“Ah… Ah…”

A glimmer of light returned to Athena’s deadened eyes.

Artemis whispered into Athena’s ear.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice your pain. Why didn’t you speak up sooner?”

“…Is it… possible? …Can it… be fixed?”

“That…”

For thousands of years, Athena, who had lived in resignation and despair, reached out a trembling hand toward the vast sky, hoping to grasp a speck of hope.

But it was impossible to grasp that tiny speck with her hand.

Even if she did, it would melt like hoarfrost, never to be truly felt.

“Ah—”

Her eyes dimmed again as Athena’s hand, aimlessly reaching for the air, fell helplessly.

—Thud!

The moment Athena’s hand began to fall, I quickly ascended to the dais and caught her hand firmly.

And lifting my head back, I shouted to the heavens:

“I can do it! I can save your mother! I will return Metis to you!”

That’s right.

I can save her.

No, I will show you that I can save her.

Your mother, who remains trapped within Zeus’s body—even now,

Metis!

“Tell me, Athena! Aren’t you curious about what your mother looks like?”

“…I am.”

“Do you want to see your mother?”

“I w-want to… see her.”

Her choked voice whispered faintly, nearly indiscernible.

“Louder!”

“…I want to see her!”

“Who do you want to see!!”

“…”

Tears streaming uncontrollably, Athena’s voice faltered as if caught in her throat, trying to articulate the thought of her mother.

I gently pulled her by the hand to stand her up.

“WHO!!!”

“Waaaahh!! Sob… sob! Waahhh! I miss you! Momma!!! Momaaa!!! Aaaaahhh!!!”

The small wish of the virgin goddess who had lived for thousands of years, and the hidden secrets of her heart, reverberated throughout Athena’s entire camp.

Hearing her cry, the knights and soldiers all turned their backs to Athena.

Even though it wasn’t a wartime situation, they pulled their helmets low over their faces in embarrassment.

All the warhorses bowed their heads as one.

Only the barren sky roared with thunder as if in anger.

It must be Zeus’s anger.

And yet…

Even now, he seems to be unaware of why Athena has been silently suffering for thousands of years.

Well then, if that’s the case,

I’ll secretly inform this doting father of the daughter’s plight.

---