NOVEL WEB Chapter 1
I have translated the text provided into English while utilizing the given glossary. Here’s the translation:
—
A transition into the fantasy world occurred.
The confusion over this new world lasted only briefly, as excitement rose like mist, remembering the situations seen in web novels and anime.
I opened my eyes wide and stretched my arms toward the blazing red sun, shouting aloud:
“Status window!”
…
But there was no response.
Maybe this wasn’t the kind of status window I expected.
Driven by Icarus’s desire to observe the sun up close, I clenched my fists and called out with greater yearning:
“Come forth, Holy Sword Excalibur!”
…
Still, there was no response.
Had I watched too many web novels and anime? Attempting clichés yielded nothing but chilly, wary glances from people around me.
This was strange. It didn’t make sense.
Shouldn’t a status window or an SSS-class weapon serve as an overcoat against the icy winds of this alien world?
If I have nothing, how am I supposed to survive in this other world? Yet this unease didn’t last long.
Why?
Because of the gap in knowledge.
On the one hand, people of this world possess the knowledge of medieval times. On the other, I, having received modern higher education, knew far more advanced things.
For example, they thought rain fell because the goddess cried, and they believed gods sneezed when the wind blew.
It wasn’t exactly ignorant—considering that this fantasy world is the World of Deities.
The World of Deities is a place where gods coexist with humans. These gods are none other than the well-known Olympian gods.
Seeing Poseidon sunbathing on the beach shattered my previous image of gods but, paradoxically, made them seem more like approachable uncles next door.
And those who assist the gods are priests.
Unlike ordinary followers, priests operate more like civil servants.
For a year, I studied tirelessly to take the 9th-grade priest recruitment exam of the Pantheon.
To me, a graduate of one of the most prestigious universities in the modern world, the first written test in medieval style felt extremely easy.
The problem was the second round: the interview. The deity I applied to assist was none other than Artemis.
Among the total of 100 candidates chosen to serve Artemis, I was the sole male.
It would be a lie to say I wasn’t anxious about whether Artemis would choose a woman instead of me.
When Artemis briefly scanned the 100 candidates, she clicked her tongue and, with disdainful eyes, reluctantly pointed her finger at me.
The reason for my selection was surprisingly simple.
I was the [only pity case]. A hiring method quite fitting for the Goddess of Purity, I suppose.
Still, my feelings were somewhat mixed…
Nevertheless, I had spent a year as Artemis’s only male priest in this way.
While my primary job is to assist a deity, it oddly feels like I’m just babysitting an annoying younger sister.
Doesn’t it seem disrespectful to be serving the Goddess of the Moon, Artemis, and still think this way?
You’d change your mind if you knew what happened this morning—I’ll expose Artemis’s true character to you.
As the darkness of the night faded and silence reigned,
Bang! Bang! Bang!
An emergency bell installed on the ceiling of my room suddenly rang.
Startled awake from a deep sleep, I kicked off the blanket and jumped up.
This bell, which only the goddess Artemis can activate, signaled an emergency.
The increasingly loud and urgent ringing implied a dire situation.
In a groggy state, I hastily put on my overcoat and rushed out of my dormitory.
The destination was the Artemis Temple next to the dormitory.
Since it had never rung so late at night before, I pushed my legs even harder, feeling like I was whipping a galloping horse.
What is it? What could it be?
A sudden illness?
A fire?
Or a robbery?
What on earth happened to Artemis?!!
With mounting concern over her well-being amidst the tense situation, my heart raced even more.
Like a bullet, I passed through the temple entrance and quickly headed straight to Artemis’s private chamber.
Even though the wide corridors of the temple were pitch-black without a single lit torch, my familiarity with this place made navigating it as easy as counting my own fingers.
In such a critical moment, I silently opened the door to avoid making any sound.
“Huff! Huff… Huff… A, Artemis-sama! Artemis-sama!”
Breathing heavily, I anxiously searched for her.
Contrary to my expectation, instead of an urgent crisis, I was met with the carefree image of Artemis herself.
Lying belly-down on a plush sofa, she was munching on biscuits while reading a book.
She didn’t respond, nor did she glance sideways at me—not even a little bit.
I approached her cautiously and spoke.
“Um… Artemis-sama? Is everything alright?”
She promptly slammed the book shut with both hands and glared at me sharply.
“You’re late! You should’ve been here within three seconds! What is this, so lazy?”
Three seconds?
Even Hermes, renowned for his speed, couldn’t have made it in three seconds, no matter how close the distance.
“Sorry.”
It was absurd, but saying so outright would’ve just angered her more, knowing her nasty temper, so I just apologized.
With that, Artemis crossed her arms, turned her head away, and let out an arrogant sniff.
Oh, I could just! She’s like a bratty little sister; that makes me even angrier.
Still, she was her usual self. Fortunately, it didn’t seem to be a real emergency.
“What are you standing around there like a lump of barley corns for?”
“Huh? What…?”
Confused, I asked again.
In response, Artemis clicked her tongue, muttered, “useless,” and gestured somewhere with her chin.
Following her gaze, I saw a puddle of black liquid spilled on the floor.
“I spilled grape juice. Clean it up.”
“…What?”
“Clean it, I said! Are you deaf?!”
“Wait… Is the real reason you rang the emergency bell at this hour… just to tell me to clean this?”
At my inquiry, her eyes narrowed and her expression darkened—clear signs that I’d upset her.
“If you leave this too long, the floor will become sticky. Do you even know that?”
“I didn’t mean that—”
“Besides!”
Before I could finish, she cut me off.
“If I accidentally step on it, it’ll remind me of how unpleasant your face is!”
With a sneer, she insulted me as if drawing Wi-Fi signals on her forehead.
Damn. She could have cleaned it herself. Besides, what’s wrong with my face?
Did my grandmother call me ‘General material’ back in the day?
“Haaah~”
Though utterly ridiculous, I headed to the restroom to fetch a bucket and mop, already preparing to clean it all up.
Though the atmosphere was suffocating and I’d only been there for about 10 minutes, I was already exhausted.
Alright, let’s get back to the dormitory and go back to sleep.
“Artemis-sama, I’ve finished cleaning, so I’ll take my leave now.”
The aloof Artemis reluctantly got up, extending her neck like a meerkat to inspect the floor.
“Is it really clean?”
“Yes, I’ve cleaned it thoroughly. Would you like to taste it and confirm the grape flavor?”
“Hmph, if there’s an ant trail on the floor tomorrow morning, you’ll have to eat them yourself.”
Honestly, she never gives me any credit.
Artemis smirked confidently, thinking she had delivered a brilliant retort to my sarcastic comment.
She then reclined luxuriously on the sofa, laughing unpleasantly as she turned back to her book.
Looks like she has nothing more for me to do here.
Same for me. There’s no reason for me to stay.
Leaving her chamber, I rushed back to my dormitory and lay down on the bed.
“Haaah, nothing beats resting on a bed.”
As the treatment I received from Artemis now seemed trivial, I didn’t feel sad or cry over it.
I might even say I barely felt anything.
Still, it’s true that every day here is fresh and never boring.
“I wonder what interesting events will happen today?”
With my heart brimming with anticipation, I drifted off to sleep, lulled by the soothing chirping of the crickets.
A few hours later.
Under a cloudless and tranquil morning sky, I was leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper when—
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
A deafening scream erupted near my front yard, as if a bomb had fallen.
Around this temple, there’s only one person capable of making such a racket: Artemis herself.
“Ugh, trouble again so early in the morning.”
Tying the final knot on my clothes, I stepped out of my room, leaned against the wall, and peeked my head out to see what was going on.
In front of the temple, about ten female priestesses knelt down with their hands clasped in prayer, and standing before them was Artemis, visibly fuming while continuously pacing and turning red in the face.
She seems to be taking out her frustrations on the priestesses for something that displeased her.
Is this woman never tired of throwing tantrums? Anyway, wise men say to stay clear of dangerous places.
If I got involved, the trouble might spill over onto me.
Let’s just naturally pass by.
“Good morning, Artemis-sama!”
I greeted her with a bright smile and, as I passed her and started climbing the stairs,
Thwack!
A firm hand grabbed the back of my neck, like a fish caught on a fishing line.
Damn, my gut feeling was right on target.
“What do you want?”
When I asked nonchalantly, she roughly yanked me toward her, grabbed my collar with both hands, and shook me.
My head is spinning! Please stop shaking me!
“Listen, listen! These fools forgot to buy volume four of ‘Funeralhouse Beef Soup Lupin’ at the bookstore yesterday!”
Oh, the new release at the bookstore yesterday?
Indeed, Artemis had instructed the priestesses to buy it yesterday.
However, they seemed to have completely forgotten about it after spending the entire day hunting boars.
There’s no way they could have found the time to go to the bookstore.
Since it’s such a popular series, it’s surely out of stock now.
“Volume four came out right on time, so I didn’t sleep last night and finished volume three just before sunrise!”
So it seems she spent the entire night reading volume three.
“One week from now, it’ll be restocked in the bookstore, so—”
“It’s important to read a series without breaks!”
Ah… Is that how you feel?
It didn’t seem wise to lecture her any further, given how serious she appeared about this.
Her tear ducts seemed ready to burst if anyone dared criticize her.
Haa, no choice.
“Just a moment.”
I gently detached her hands gripping my collar and headed back into the temple.
In my personal office, I retrieved a book from the corner bookshelf and returned to Artemis.
“Here, it’s for you.”
I handed her the book.
“Sniffle… What is this?”
After inhaling sharply to clear her nose, she looked at the book skeptically.
When she flipped it over to look at the title, her eyes widened in surprise.
“It’s, it’s, the new volume!”
Delighted, she hugged the new volume four closely to her chest and leapt with joy, careful not to let it fall or be taken away from her.
Though she always acted difficult, seeing her smiling radiantly like a child made her appear cute.
“How? How? Hey, Ark, why do you have volume four?”
“I bought it beforehand since you were going boar hunting yesterday.”
“Hmph~ You’re actually useful once in a while, aren’t you? Great! I’m in a good mood, so I’ll grant you one wish.”
Artemis, who just moments ago looked like the world was falling apart, quickly recovered and became overly proud of herself.
She waved her hands and dismissed the priestesses, then plopped herself down on the temple steps, crossing her legs.
“Speak up!”
“…”
When I remained silent, her frown deepened.
“Hey, why aren’t you saying anything? I said I’ll grant you your wish.”
“It’s meaningless.”
At my curt response, our lady goddess was annoyed. She tilted her chin and gestured for me to come closer with her finger.
“What do you mean?”
“Last time when I asked for a wish, you promised to replace my office chair, but you never did. The time before that, I asked for a day off, but as you know, I’ve never had a day off so far.”
In this other world, humans would weep in gratitude for even the smallest divine favor.
With a snap of their finger, almost any ordinary wish could be granted.
At first, I couldn’t hide my excitement.
However, Artemis is fundamentally moody.
When she’s in a good mood, she promises to grant any wish,
Yet, by the time even a second has passed, she forgets everything just like a goldfish and renders the promise null.
If I dared to nag by bringing up past wishes during a bad mood…
Urgh, no thanks.
“Also, four months ago, my first wish was—”
“Erm, erm, that’s enough!”
She interrupted me by flailing her hands, covering my mouth.
Washing her ears with her pinky fingers, she spoke again.
“Just keep your complaints bottled up. This is why pity… tsk!”
“Pi, pity? It’s not that. I’ve just not dated anyone. I’m a celibate man!”
My pitiful explanation only made her clutch her stomach and laugh.
“Yeah~ Celibacy by circumstance. HAHAHAH!!”
By circumstance, right?
What does that even mean?
Is she mocking me for being a loser who can’t even have a girlfriend?
Aaagh!
If I’d had duct tape in my hand, I’d have gagged her annoying mouth with it.
We’ll see, I’ll get her back someday.
“Hehe.”
Seeing me pouting and sticking out my lip, she grinned as if satisfied.
She’s truly a sadistic pervert.
“Hey, hey. This time I’ll really grant your wish.”
“I don’t believe you.”
It’ll end up like that friend you meet on the street once in a while who says, “Let’s have lunch sometime.”
“Really, I’ll do it right now.”
“Are you serious?”
“Hey! I swear it by the River Styx. Speak, what’s your wish?”
…Swear by the River Styx?
It seems Artemis entirely forgot that most tragedies in Greek-Roman mythology stem from oaths by the River Styx.
And,
Little did I know that an opportunity to teach her a lesson was about to present itself.
“My wish is…”
“Hmm, say it.”
“To be your boyfriend, Artemis-sama.”
I confessed, ready to scold her.
—