NOVEL WEB Chapter 37
Chapter 37: No snow
Waking up early to work on a sweet weekend—isn’t that just too cruel?
I wasn’t self-employed or anything, so why was I working this hard?
‘Because I have to… damn it.’
The World Art Prize. The submission deadline for entries was the end of this month, specifically March 31.
With only five days left until the 31st, today’s date was March 26.
While everyone else was probably sleeping in and enjoying their weekend, why was I freezing in my studio instead?
Even if I wanted to complain, the vision of completing a masterpiece kept me from doing so. Ugh, it’s colder today than it was yesterday.
‘The competition isn’t until mid-July, so why is the submission deadline three months earlier…?’
I was probably the only person suffering from such a paradoxical schedule.
I glanced sideways at the clock hanging on the wall.
[06:37]
It was 6:30 in the morning—before even the roosters were up.
Sighing heavily, I clenched the hand warmer stuffed in the pocket of my padded jacket.
‘Having to stare at this thing all day is hell in itself.’
It wasn’t like I needed to keep staring at it. I just had to stay ready in case I noticed something off and needed to fix it.
For now, I was trying to stay as far away from the painting as possible. Reduced to lurking in a corner of the studio, how pitiful.
Still, I had to get up every two hours to check on the painting. What about when I slept?
Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do while I was asleep. The only option was to fix it the next morning.
“I’ve been up since 5, so… maybe I’ll eat in 20 more minutes.”
There were about 20 minutes left until 7. I could check the painting then and head out.
‘What glory or riches am I chasing here? It’d be nice if people at least recognized my effort.’
Even though I grumbled, I was the one who had created this painting. All the responsibility lay with me…
I grabbed my phone and opened YouTube. I thought I’d check on my channel after a long time.
“Ugh, the comment section is a mess…”
Because of this masterpiece, I hadn’t been able to work on any other paintings, which meant I hadn’t uploaded any new videos either.
Maybe I should put them at ease with a livestream later. After all, I wasn’t doing much today besides checking and sitting.
This has been my routine lately.
‘Let’s take a break after the competition.’
By mid-July, summer break would start. I’d go on a trip with my family.
‘Well, since the competition is in the U.S., I can just enjoy myself there.’
I’d need to prepare my passport in advance. But could I, in my frail state, even survive the long flight?
‘I’ll deal with that when the time comes.’
The clock struck 7, and the sun was gradually rising. However, the sunlight streaming into the studio wasn’t enough to combat the chill.
This studio seemed to grow colder each time I visited. Even my parents had started to admit it was genuinely freezing.
The last time I touched the painting was three days ago.
Even when I was at school, I couldn’t do much about it, and once I got home, I had to keep checking on it.
While it might seem like I shouldn’t touch it anymore, considering what I’d said earlier…
Well, checking repeatedly was just my habit.
Artists are naturally drawn to the abstract ideal of perfection.
Maybe I was like those other artists. I just couldn’t stop myself from checking.
“…Now that I think about it, I could’ve just come every two hours instead of staying here.”
What an idiot. I marveled at my own brilliance and got up from my seat.
Waking up early had left me starving, and honestly, I was missing the warmth of home after just two hours here. This place was too cold.
Standing up, I gave the painting one last look before turning away.
The painting was already complete. It would be fine to submit as it was.
But this was Lee Ha-eun’s personal stubbornness at play.
To scrutinize it until the very end.
In the lower corner of the painting, I had inscribed a small set of initials. It was subtle enough that no one would notice unless they looked closely.
-HA-EUN
The original Chinese characters for this would have been 허무설 (虛無說), but one character had been replaced.
“설” (雪) instead of “설” (說).
In its original form, 허무설 (Snow of Emptiness) was a concept from Eastern philosophy—an idea of emptying oneself to reach moral perfection.
You could find it in the teachings of Laozi and Zhuangzi.
But if the “설” meant “snow” instead of “theory,” how would it be interpreted?
I wasn’t much of a humanities student, so I couldn’t say for sure. But according to my own interpretation:
“An infinite space filled with snow that can never fully cover it.”
It’s the same as pouring water into a bottomless jar. No matter how much snow accumulates, it can never blanket the entire world.
This was the first time since my reincarnation that I had imbued a painting with meaning.
Why did I create this Snow of Emptiness? It was a gift to my past self.
I no longer felt the emptiness of being unloved, surrounded now by many who cared for me.
But in my previous life, I had no one by my side.
My first masterpiece was a knife I sent to my former self.
“Stop clinging to your parents’ attention and praise.”
Even if snow (symbolizing effort) piled up, it was meaningless in the end. It would melt away, unable to cover the vast world.
Even if I tormented myself by piling up snow in a void of emptiness and futility…
I could never gain recognition in the past.
“This is truly the end. My former self is dead. The one standing here is Lee Ha-eun.”
I placed my hand on the doorknob of the studio.
Suddenly, I sensed a presence and turned back toward the studio.
A faint figure was standing there, holding a brush and painting.
“…Even now, you’re still painting. Foolishly. Pathetically.”
“Look who’s talking.”
A voice, whether a hallucination or not, came from the figure touching “Snow of Emptiness”.
The transparent figure fell silent and eventually disappeared.
“Maybe it’s possessed… Should I call a shaman?”
It seemed like Snow of Emptiness truly was haunted. Should I find a shaman to take care of it?
Still, thanks to that presence, I felt I didn’t need to worry about Snow of Emptiness anymore.
The recipient of that gift would keep watching over it.
“Idiot.”
Cursing inwardly, I left the studio. I tossed my padded jacket inside.
I locked the door so the figure could focus without distractions.
It seemed my painting was to their liking. They were still so immature.
Chuckling to myself, I walked back home with a spring in my step.
Now, we led completely opposite lives. That figure and I were different beings.
That thought alone lifted my spirits.
I wanted to tell them to enjoy this life as much as they could.
A happy and entertaining life.
“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the studio?” my mom asked.
I nodded.
“Not anymore. I don’t think I need to worry about it now.”
“Really? That’s strange… You were darting out of here at the crack of dawn just a little while ago.”
“I don’t think I’ll be doing that again, though.”
I couldn’t give her a definite answer, just in case.
You can never trust the phrase “never again.” It inherently leaves room for a second, third, or even fourth time.
“By the way, where’s Dad?”
“He left for work. Said he had a meeting.”
Her answer was blunt, but then she smiled and added, “But hearing that my son’s taking the day off puts me in a good mood.”
‘Working even on the weekend… Poor Dad.’
I offered a silent prayer of sympathy. So, was today going to be a day to hang out with Yoon?
Breakfast was done, and the clock now read 8 a.m.
“Yoon’s not up yet?”
“Not yet. She’ll probably shuffle out slowly once she does.”
“I see. Oh, about the competition submission—”
“I’ll go with you, of course. It’s a bit much to go alone, isn’t it?”
“I can go on my own.”
Mom’s eyebrows shot up at my reply.
“Do you not want to be with me?”
“It’s not that… Fine, I’ll call you when I leave school early.”
“Alright~.”
Her mood seemed to bounce back quickly. She really was a simple person.
There was still plenty of time, nothing to do, and Yoon wasn’t getting up anytime soon.
‘What does she do at night to sleep so late?’
On weekdays, she wakes up early, but on weekends, she doesn’t crawl out of bed until nearly 10 a.m.
She doesn’t play games, so… maybe it’s SNS?
It’s the perfect age for that. Just imagining my adorable little sister fiddling with her phone made me chuckle.
“Oh, right, son. If you have nothing to do today, let’s shoot a YouTube video.”
“Ah, yeah, I forgot about that.”
Maybe I’d do a casual morning stream and connect with viewers while drawing for a bit.
“Do we have any spare canvases or paper at home?”
I had moved most of my art supplies to the studio.
“Heh. I prepared for this long ago.”
With that, my mom got up and brought out a set of art supplies.
When did she even buy these? They were brand-new and spotless.
“I’ll go set up the stream then~.”
Leaving me with those words, she headed to my room.
Fine, might as well do this like I’m catching up on overdue homework.
—
Time passed, and the livestream began.
“Testing, testing. Can you hear me?”
Thankfully, my room was soundproof. That soundproofing? Paid for entirely out of my own pocket—it was ridiculously expensive.
[Hi Hi]
[Get on your knees, streamer!]
[Why are you so late? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]
[Dang it, Lee Ha-eun! Are you trying to starve us?]
[Since you’re finally here, how about a 24-hour art stream?]
As expected, the chat exploded the moment I turned it on.
Viewers: 2,638
Within five minutes of starting the stream, the viewer count had already surged.
“Ahem… Let’s all calm down a bit. The project I’ve been working on is finally finished.”
[So, does this mean we’ll get regular streams now?]
[Please upload to YouTube every day… ㅠㅠ]
[I was waiting for your painting.]
[Pls turn on V LIVE more often.]
[Haha, just do a 24-hour stream from now on.]
My words seemed to fan the flames, and the chat became even livelier.
“Alright… For now, let’s start with a drawing. Should we decide today’s topic with a vote? It’s been a while.”
Ah. I really shouldn’t have said that.
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