NOVEL WEB Chapter 1: What The Truck?
Chapter 1: What The Truck
You know the saying, ‘life’s funny sometimes’? Well, occasionally death can be like that too. One moment you’re waiting at a bus stop then BOOM, a truck comes barrelling towards your face at who knows what miles an hour. No time to move. Your life flashes before your eyes in the glare of its headlights as you realise... “I really should have lived more”.
That is what happened to eighteen-year-old Wheeler Ford. As the thought floated through his mind, he closed his eyes and braced for the impact, any second now... he heard the noise of metal crunch in his ears.
After about a minute had passed, Wheeler opened his eyes, realising he was still alive.
He turned to notice the truck had in fact, missed him by mere inches, instead crashing into the lamppost that had sat next to the bus stop. The lamppost was bent at an unusual angle, having taken extensive damage.
His caught breath returned to him, as Wheeler marvelled at the fact, he was still alive... right up until the lamppost fell on top of him.
The next thing he knew he was in a white room. Every surface pulsed with radiant, ethereal light.
A woman with messy, rust coloured hair and steely grey eyes was standing before him. She was wearing some kind of white suit, which for some reason wasn’t buttoned up properly. The suit also appeared to be slightly too big for her.
She had a tablet computer clasped in one of her hands, and a stylus pen in the other. "Sorry to say, sir, but you... are dead”.
Wheeler looked at his hands. They appeared ghostly translucent and monochromatic. It was clear he had left his physical body behind.
Wheeler froze, his mind spinning from the news that he was dead. He’d only lived a mere eighteen years and now his life was over.
If he was dead, did that mean this place was heaven? Who was this mysterious woman? What happens to him now?
These, as well as a million and one other questions, swirled in Wheeler’s head.
The first one to escape his mouth was: “So do I get to be reincarnated in another world?”
“Excuse me?” The lady tilted her head.
“You know like in all those anime and manga? Someone gets hit by a truck, they talk to a beautiful goddess, and then PRESTO, enjoy your new life in a fantasy world.” Wheeler rattled off excitedly.
The woman’s steely eyes rolled, as a small smirk crept onto her face. “You’re not the first person to ask me that. The real world doesn’t work like an anime you know.”
“Oh”, Wheeler sank to the floor on all fours, crest fallen.
“I’m kidding, kiddo” The woman laughed, “it’s totally like that.”
“Really?!” Wheeler jumped back onto his feet as his energy was rejuvenated along with his hope.
“Yes, but unfortunately, you don’t qualify” the goddess stated in a matter-of-fact manner.
His hopes once again shattered, Wheeler asked “Why not?”
“Well, you know the deal in various anime? Normally some hapless guy or girl gets hit and killed by a truck?” The goddess explained.
Wheeler nodded his head, “That’s exactly what happened to me.”
The goddess made a sharp “BBBZZTTT” noise and crossed her arms in a X shape. “Wrongo, you were killed by a lamppost”.
“That was knocked over by the truck!” Wheeler insisted.
“Doesn’t matter, doesn’t count”. The goddess replied.
Wheeler tried to argue his case, “In the stories I’ve seen, it’s not ALWAYS being hit by a truck, some get stabbed, I saw one where the protagonist had a panic attack in front of a tractor”
The lady stomped her foot, raising her voice to a shout. “Oh, so just cause you’ve seen a few isekai anime, you’re suddenly an expert on the afterlife? Well, let me tell you, reality is a LOT more bureaucratic, if you don’t die in the correct way, then you don't get reincarnated in another world Sorry, but that's just the way it is!”.
With that Wheeler’s lifelong dream of an otherworldly isekai adventure was dashed.
“So do I just go to heaven instead?” Wheeler asked, his voice shaking.
The goddess started giggling, “Heaven? Heavens NO, not after all the times you touched yourself at night.”
“You saw that?” Wheeler squeaked.
“Oh yeah, we keep track of all that” she smirked. “Your grandma saw you too. She told me she’s very disappointed in you”.
“Gram-Gram...” Wheeler felt a lump in his throat until he heard the Goddess burst out in howls of laughter.
“Relax I’m joking, your ‘Gram-Gram’ didn’t see you, besides we don’t actually penalise people for doing that sort of thing”.
Wheeler let out a huge sigh of relief.
The goddess continued, “However you won’t be going to heaven, or hell either for that matter. You gotta do something exceptionally good or evil to go to one of those places, and your life was... well mediocre to put it nicely”.
“So where do I go?” he enquired, shaking with anticipation. It was a relief he wasn’t going to hell, but if not there, or heaven, then where?
“You could reincarnate back in your own world... how about becoming a cockroach?” the goddess suggested.
“Wheeler shuddered, “I’ll pass...”
“Purgatory it is then, it's kind of like this but way more boring since you won't have me to keep you company”. She beamed.
“So, like, eternal nothingness?” Wheeler was desperate for some form of clarification or reassurance.
“Yep, enjoy your stay!” with that the goddess turned to leave.
“Wait!” Wheeler cried out, he had once more collapsed to his knees. In his mind endless nothingness might as well have been hell.
The goddess paused, “Did you change your mind about the cockroach?”
“No, please,” he begged. “There has to be something, some way I can get a shot at reincarnating into another world?”
The goddess tapped her stylus pen to her lips, thinking, “well I guess you did call me beautiful earlier... so maybe I can help you out...”
“I’ll do anything.” He insisted.
“AnYtHiNg” a sinister smile flashed across her face, never before had Wheeler heard a singular word drip with so much malevolent energy.
Yet despite reservations he found himself confirming, “Yes, anything”.
“Then let me introduce myself properly. I’m Abeona, the goddess of outward journeys.” She gave a theatrical bow. “It's my duty to assist people in reaching the other world, but you see...”
The goddess then began blushing, awkwardly prodding her fingers together, “my numbers are actually a bit low lately. Mainly because stupid technicalities, like this one, keep getting in the way of me actually being able to send people to the other world!”
Wheeler’s eyes lit up, seeing an opportunity to acquire his dream isekai afterlife, unfolding before him. “So, you’ll let me...”
“I’ll let you reincarnate” she confirmed, a wry smile dancing over her face as she whistled inconspicuously.
“What's the catch?” Wheeler enquired with a sceptically raised eyebrow.
“It won’t be in another world; it’ll be back on your world... I was thinking you could help bump up my numbers by, bumping some people off.” Abeona spoke as casually as someone might if they were asking someone to borrow a cup of sugar.
“You want me to murder people?” His stomach pitted as the sickening realisation struck Wheeler like a truck.
“Don’t think of it that way, think of it like you're transporting them, to a better life!” chimed the goddess Abeona.
Wheeler considered, “If I agreed to this... insanity, how would I have to do the deed?”
Abeona was insistent, “They have to get hit by a truck, otherwise it won’t count unfortunately, I don’t make the rules it's just how things are”.
“So, I go back, steal a truck and run over a bunch of people? That’s horrible!”
Abeona gave another sly grin, “I’ve got a better plan, why steal a truck when you can be the truck?”
“Be the truck? What are you even talking about?” Wheeler had his head in his hands, totally lost and overloaded. He used his fingers to plug his ears, trying to block out Abeona’s mad babbling and refocus himself.
“So do we have a deal?” Abeona offered, looking at him intensely. Observing that he wasn’t paying attention, the goddess decided she was going to play dirty.
After a few moments of distracting himself, Wheeler was able to engage with the goddess again, “What did you say?” Wheeler removed his fingers from his ears to hear Abeona properly, as he waited for clarification.
“I said when someone hands out playing cards, it’s called a...?” she lied, gesturing expectantly, miming giving out playing cards.
“Deal?” guessed a very confused Wheeler.
“YES, IT’S A DEAL!” Abeona cackled, having successfully fooled Wheeler into accepting the agreement.
Realising the deception, Wheeler tried to rescind his accidental agreement. But it was too late, within seconds, he rapidly began losing consciousness.
Abeona shook her head, “Sorry about that sneaky trick, I really am. It’s just, If I fail to hit my target numbers again...”
Abeona's words grew faint in Wheeler’s ears. He blacked out before she even finished what she was saying.
When Wheeler awoke, he could see he had a windscreen in front of his vision. All he could see through it was darkness and corrugated metal. He found himself unable to move at all. Where was he? He could see vague shadows outside, but where were his hands? In his paralysed state Wheeler tried to scream.
*HONK*
What was that? Wheeler screamed again.
*HONK HONK*
At that moment he heard a familiar voice, slightly distorted as if though radio static “Breaker, breaker, Wheeler, you got your ears on? Over!”
“Who said that? Is that you Abeona?”
“Aye-firmative, do you copy? Over”.
“Cut the radio talk, where are you? For that matter where am I?” Wheeler demanded.
You see that adorable little charm hanging from your rear-view mirror? That’s me... well sort of... it allows me to see you anyway.”
Wheeler could just about make out the little charm swinging around at the top of his vision, which resembled a chibi-fied version of Abeona.
“Wait... my rear-view mirror? Where am I? I can’t see my body.” As Wheeler panicked, a chorus of honking horns permeated the air.
“I told you, why drive a truck when you can BE a truck?” Abeona’s static laced voice chuckled.
Wheeler finally realised the full extent of what the goddess had done. Those honking horns? That was his voice. The windscreen? His eyes. His body? Corrugated metal. Wheeler had been reincarnated on earth... as a truck!