I Am the Greatest

Blinding.

After my eyes had adjusted to the long dark passageways of the dungeon made alight only by the dim glow of magical flame in my palm, the sheer white pouring out from the room’s lanterns could only be described as blinding.

I was standing at the entrance of a large, rectangular room. I hadn’t gone in yet. After all, this was still a dungeon and there were bound to be traps.

I reached up and snapped off the tip of an especially long stalactite, tossing it into the room.

Nothing happened.

Seeing as the room was safe enough, I stepped inside only to discover that it was, in fact, not safe at all.

The moment both of my feet entered the room, a thick stone slab slid out from the ground and shut off my only path of escape.

Looking around the room, I could see that there were three identical stone slabs in addition to the one that was now behind me, meaning that this room was connected to four passageways.

Although this would be useful information once I figured out how to get the hell out of here, it gave me nothing to work with when it came to dealing with the creatures that were now rising out of the dungeon floor.

Luckily, I had [Complete Analysis].

The floor tiles in the corners of the room had slid open, and four monsters jumped out. They looked like a cross between a wolf and a scorpion from my old world.

[Complete Analysis]!

The skill told me that this was a creature called a “Spyrdulf.” They were carnivores that usually dwelled in dungeons and deep in the wilderness, using the potent venom that they stored in their tails to paralyze their prey before the spyrdulves devoured them alive.

I was pretty sure that [Devouring Healing] could cleanse status ailments like paralysis or poison, but I wasn’t too keen on testing that out right now.

I adjusted my posture into a defensive stance as the two closest spyrdulves began approaching me. I still hadn’t gained any offensive skills, but my increased stats coupled with my martial arts experience back on Earth should be more than enough.

I already knew where the spyrdulves’ weak points were, and since the other two were still relatively far away, I could deal with the closest ones individually before I had to take two on at a time.

Without hesitating, I immediately dashed toward the spyrdulf on my left, kicking off the ground with my right foot and giving it no time to react as I accelerated at an incredible pace. 

Although I wasn’t quite moving at superhuman speeds, my increased strength and dexterity worked in tandem to give me far greater physical capabilities than I had in my previous world.

The moment I was in range, my left foot shot out, slamming into the spyrdulf’s head and crushing its skull in a single blow. There was a sickening crunch as bone gave way and pierced into the mush that I assumed was its brain.

The feeling was sickening, especially as I saw its multi-segmented tail flailing about, but I didn’t have much time to consider my actions. Besides, my stomach was empty right now.

Following through with the momentum of my kick, I stamped down on the ground and pivoted to the right, just in time to whip my right foot in a semicircle and connect with the side of the second spyrdulf’s deadly stinger.

I kicked it right off, causing a spurt of blood to burst forth from its quarter-severed tail and coat my entire shoe in blood.

The spyrdulf yelped in pain, allowing me to quickly transition from my spinning roundhouse kick into a downward axe kick. I promptly brought the heel of my foot down on the still-recovering spyrdulf’s head, crushing it just like the first one.

“Come on, you bastards.” I smirked, making an incendiary gesture toward the two remaining spyrdulves.

They yipped angrily, dashing toward me at full speed. Even so, they were only hastening their own demise.

I reached over toward the deceased spyrdulf with the still-intact tail, ripping it off just as one of the spyrdulves reached my position, its fangs bared as it prepared to bite my head off.

Smoothly, I raised my arm to block it, causing its fangs to sink deep into the flesh of my forearm. I winced slightly, but the pain only served as further incentive for me to drive the stinger into the spyrdulf’s throat.

The creature immediately released me as it was pierced, but it was already too late. I kicked it away, sending it sprawling and probably rupturing several of its vital organs if not killing it outright.

[Devouring Healing]. My wound immediately closed up as the mana around me was converted into life force. 

The lantern closest to me flickered out. With its pale white light now present no longer, a corner of the room was cast into darkness.

With my newly-healed arm, I formed a fist with my hand and threw a crisp right hook. It was a sharp and succinct movement that connected cleanly with the side of the final spyrdulf’s head as it sailed through the air toward me.

Now, it crashed against the wall and landed onto the cold, hard stone of the dungeon floor. Just like the other three corpses, it lay still.

After catching my breath, that ever-familiar blue screen popped up once again.

[Congratulations! You have leveled up!]

I waited for a few more seconds, but no further instances appeared.

...Only one level from that, huh? I guess that’s about right, seeing as they weren’t exactly tough to deal with.

The room shook mildly and the four stone slabs receded back into the ground. The way I’d come from was now accessible once more, but there was no point in going back there.

Looking at the three other doorways, I was now faced with three choices. I could easily use [Complete Analysis] to figure out the best path, but sometimes, it was far more fun to leave things to fate.

I walked to the center of the room, closed my eyes, and turned in place several times before finally opening my eyes again.

The doorway that I was now facing was dimly lit by the same lanterns that were in the room. They seemed to draw power from the ambient mana in the atmosphere, meaning that the flames wouldn’t be more than warm to the touch.

That would also explain their strange color.

I strode through the doorway purposefully, glancing around at my new surroundings.

The ceiling was flat and tiled with the same material as the ground that I was walking on. They looked like stone tiles, but they were a lot more polished than the tiles in the room I was just in.

I thought back to the dusty entrance of the dungeon and decided that although the dungeon hadn’t been entered in a while, that certainly didn’t mean it wasn’t occupied.

The walls were also a lot nicer, with various designs engraved onto their smooth, obsidian surface. I was clearly no longer in a cave.

As I continued to walk down the narrow passageway, my stomach grumbled and I touched a hand to it. I didn’t know how long it’d been since I ate those three pigeons, but I was certainly feeling the effects of hunger.

If I didn’t find food sooner or later, I was sure that I’d collapse. Now, you might be wondering why I didn’t start feasting on those spyrdulves, but the answer was actually quite simple.

Upon further analysis, I had discovered that the spyrdulves manufactured and stored poison through a large gland inside of their body. This was then pumped into the tail and the stinger whenever necessary.

Unfortunately, for someone like me with pretty much no experience butchering animals, it would be like eating fugu prepared by an untrained sashimi chef.

Although I could probably force it down by repeatedly using [Devouring Healing], it wasn’t something I particularly wanted to suffer through. And besides, I had no idea when I would run out of Darkness seeing as the system didn’t want to give me a clear value to work with.

I’d slept on an empty stomach before. This much was nothing. But... It wouldn’t hurt if I had a bite or two.

I sighed as I continued trudging down the hallway, hoping to find an exit before I ended up collapsing.

I eventually came across a set of stairs built using the same materials as the walls. They were made with a black stone that felt warm to the touch. In fact, that was probably what was providing heat inside this dungeon.

After descending, I noticed that the intervals between the lanterns became less distant. Before me was an incredibly well-lit hallway. The walls were decorated with colored tiles which depicted various unfamiliar images and the floor was even carpeted in the center.

I didn’t know what kind of dungeon looked like this on the interior, but I was sure that whoever decided to build a whole god damn base down here was up to no good.

In fact, I was willing to bet that if I did them in, I’d receive a hefty chunk of experience.

With that comforting thought, I headed down the carpeted path, turning my head to study some of the more interesting tile art. Some of the arrangements depicted weapons while others depicted symbols.

Although I tried using [Complete Analysis] to identify what the symbols were, the skill had surprisingly failed me. It managed to identify the age, composition, and other general information about the tiles, but nothing about the actual image that the tiles were arranged to depict.

It seemed that [Complete Analysis] could only produce raw information about an object. When it comes to lore, I would have to depend on [Rulebook] for that.

That said, I didn’t exactly want to go through an entire lore dump just to figure out what the symbol meant, so I shrugged and walked past it.

As I continued walking, I eventually turned a bend and reached a dead end.

In front of me was a wooden door. It wasn’t one of those cheap, rickety wooden doors you’d see in the lower district of a fantasy city.

This was a fancy ass rich noble’s wooden door. It was engraved, gilded, and lacquered. It was the last thing I expected to find in someone’s evil lair.

Just to the side of the door was a small circular table. There was a metal tray on top with an empty bottle of wine resting on it. There were no wine glasses, but when I approached the table, I saw a few bread crumbs scattered on the tray.

[Complete Analysis] told me that they were no more than a few hours old, and my ears told me that there was something going on behind the door. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it sounded a lot like humming.

I shrugged.

Don’t mind if I do... I scooped up the bread crumbs and popped ‘em in my mouth. Beggars can’t be choosers, and I wasn’t about to leap into a potential fight on an empty stomach.

I placed one bloodstained hand on the perfectly polished golden doorknob and turned it. The well-oiled hinges didn’t even make a sound as the door swung open.

I stepped into the well-furnished room.

And then I saw them.