Chapter 187
Adela wrapped her arms around her body.
Swoosh-
The snowstorm chilled her to the bone, and a snowfield lay in front of her.
Adela remembered the hell she'd gone through when she was five years old.
[Adela, we’ll be back soon. Alright?]
Adela’s father smiled while patting her head.
[You just have to wait by yourself for three days. Three days, okay?]
She remembered how her mother had hugged her before parting, but those memories had become blurry.
'I…'
A day later, she'd eaten cold soup. Two days later, she was waiting while hugging her teddy bear. Her parents didn't return even after the promised time had passed. Soon enough, it was day four.
A week went by…
A month went by…
Things began changing inside her when she couldn't remember her voice anymore.
And then a month had passed.
Adela didn't miss her parents anymore at that point. She didn't even remember the taste of the soup she'd eaten during the first four days she spent waiting for them.
She couldn't remember the faces of her parents or much about them at all.
[I'm sorry, Adela… If I'd stayed in Italy, this wouldn't have happened.]
Was it because of that?
When her grandfather cried and kneeled before her, Adela replied with such a cold look in her eyes that she didn’t seem to be only five years old.
[Grandfather, it's okay.]
After that incident, Adela went quiet, and she didn't smile anymore. When she turned 10, she put a flower vase in the window on her parents’ death anniversary.
[Grandfather…] Adela slowly talked to him in a weak voice. [I'm not sad. Even if I look at photos, I don't feel anything.]
She began playing with an old teddy bear.
[That's why I hate myself.]
As Arden’s last remaining treasure, the way Adela said that with a blank expression on her face was too depressing for him.
[Adela…]
Despite Arden's sad expression, Adela kept talking without a hint of emotion appearing on her face.
[Grandfather… what does it mean to be alive? Am I alive?]
Arden silently walked toward Adela and grabbed her hands.
[Adela, I swear that you're alive. You're eventually going to go out into a wider world. You're going to meet many people and experience exciting things.]
His hands were warm.
Adela felt that her frozen hands melted in the warmth of his palms.
[You're going to meet someone important to you… When you're happy, he's going to smile with you. When you're sad, he's going to cry with you, and when you're lonely, he will walk next to you silently.]
[That's why… don't draw conclusions regarding how you're feeling at the moment. Don't wait for someone else’s answer. You just have to wait until that day comes.]
[Once that day comes, you just have to ask yourself what it means to be alive.]
Adela was young back then, so she’d been unable to understand what he was talking about or when that moment would be.
She'd just lived a boring life in a world that had turned ash-gray, but…
Badump!
Suddenly, Adela's heart was beating really fast, and she began feeling troubled by the unknown emotions she was feeling.
Slide.
She put her hands on her chest. Her heart was beating so fast that it was akin to the heart of a rabbit being chased by a coyote.
What was she scared of?
What was she afraid of looking at?
She froze in her tracks.
Her fear was such that she was unable to take even one more step forward.
Seeing her frozen in place, YuSung took a step forward, placed his hands on the door, and said, "No matter what might be before us… you need to open the door yourself if you want to find out."
No one else could open the door. Nobody could make the choice for her. If she wanted it, she had to really choose to approach the reality she’d been denying through the years.
Tap, tap.
* * *
* * *
She slowly approached the door. There was a bit of hesitation before she opened it, but she remained silent and pushed open the door of ice with both hands.
WHOOM-
The door opened, and cold air blew around them from within the castle.
Ice sculptures similar to the ones she'd seen before rested in front of her.
Feeling nervous, she slowly walked toward the end of the path.
Tap, tap.
She didn't look at the sculptures around her. She just walked as if she already knew the answer.
What she found at the end of the path were two sculptures that felt strange.
She saw her mother extending her hands to use her barrier-making Trait and her father clenching his fists as he glared at something.
'I already knew this…'
Her mother and father had lost their fight against Luisa. The sculptures before her were proof of that.
The sculptures were nothing but ice. No matter how sad someone was, the dead would not return.
Adela’s mind was too rational, but even though she was trying to reach out her hands, they didn’t move.
In fact, her hands wouldn’t stop trembling.
'Why…?
Adela frowned and looked at her trembling right hand.
YuSung chose that moment to say, "This is normal, Adela."
She couldn't understand the emotions she was feeling, but YuSung was already well aware of them.
The emotions Adela was feeling weren't weird—they were natural emotions. That's why he grabbed her hands.
"They're normal…?"
The warmth from his hands reminded her of the warmth she’d felt the day Arden had grabbed her hands.
YuSung smiled at Adela. "Yes. In situations like this, it's normal for you to feel sad and want to cry…"
Adela looked at the sculptures with a blank expression. Although it'd been 10 years, the sculptures looked like they hadn’t aged a day.
She looked into the eyes of her father within the ice.
[Adela, your mother and I are hunters.]
She faintly heard his voice, which she’d forgotten.
[Hunters are people who fight for the world's well-being.]
Her father had said that, even if he ended up dying as a result, he wouldn't regret anything.
[Father, don't you miss me? If you die, you won't be able to see me anymore.]
Her father smiled at the 4-year-old Adela after that and said, [I'm fighting because I want to see you…]
She finally remembered.
It wasn't that she'd forgotten. There's no way she'd be able to forget those memories.
Adela had been deceiving herself all that time. If she admitted that she loved her parents, then she would have to come to terms with the fact that she couldn’t see them anymore. Such a thing would be too painful to endure.
She’d been deceiving herself to stop such a thing from happening, but that only messed her up more.
She let go of the sculpture’s frozen hands. There's no way she'd be able to feel warmth from a frozen sculpture, and there's no way a frozen sculpture could feel her warmth.
Even though it was dumb, Adela was trying to do just that.
"I…" She opened her mouth as she looked at the sculpture.
"I wish neither of you had left…"
Tears dripped from Adela's eyes.
"I just wish you could've stayed by my side…"
Her house was too big and cold for her to stay there alone, which was why she…
"I miss you both…"
She missed them too much.
It wasn't that she'd forgotten about them. She didn't hate the choice they'd made. It wasn't that she wasn't happy about the times they'd spent together. She'd just given up because she knew she couldn't go back in time.
She was able to face the truth only after 10 years had passed and she encountered her parents' frozen forms.
"I want to go back…"
Just like Arden wanted, YuSung silently stayed by Adela's side and lowered his head.