HP:per aspera

January 1995

The New Year didn't start as peacefully as Lilith thought. The second she turned up at Hogwarts, she was bombarded with questions by both Cedric and Fluer. Questions which she had no answer to so she ran. If she wasn't in classes, she kept herself busy in the library, hidden out of sight with endless homework and paperwork she neglected over her little break. The energy she gathered over the Christmas holidays quickly disappeared, leaving her once again drained and sleepless. And to add the salt to the injury, she was a first-hand witness of Krum's shameless flirting with Hermione. They never saw her, her spot was dark and hidden behind stacks of books, but she saw them wishing she hadn't. But she just gritted her teeth and focused on her work. If Hermione was interested in Krum, maybe it was for the better. She thought that if she kept busy, maybe her problems would go away and she was almost successful. Almost. What she didn't count on was her friend's perseverance. So when Fleur suddenly appeared in her dorm room, it almost gave her a heart attack.

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, her dormmates were all out, so that left Lilith alone in a quiet sixth-year dormitory. She hadn't left it except for a quick trip to the kitchens for a quick breakfast. She's been buried in her father's old paperwork for a few weeks at that point. Something wasn't right, she could feel it but she had to go through everything to get to the bottom of it. Her focus was so intense that she didn't hear the door opening or closing, didn't hear the footsteps or a loud sigh. Only when Fleur slapped the mattress in front of her, she almost jumped out of her skin, nearly falling out of the bed.

"Finally." When Lilith finally calmed down, she took a look at Fleur. She didn't seem angry, more concerned with her hands on her hips and raised eyebrow.

"How did you get in here?"

"I asked Roger. Wouldn't have to but you've been avoiding me, avoiding Cedric, your siblings, everyone." Fleur huffed and pushed a few parchments out of the way before sitting opposite of her. Lilith shrugged.

"I was busy." Before she could react, Fleur slapped her knee, hard.

"Ouch!"

"Don't give me that bullshit! I know you have a lot to do but there is something else. I haven't seen you at meals in days and you look like a walking corpse."

"Kind words like always, Fleur." Lilith rolled her eyes but Fleur's glare intesified.

"Spill it."Lilith broke the eye contact first,

"I don't know what to tell you, Fleur." Lilith said quietly, unable to look Fleur in the eye. She knew that if she did that, she wouldn't be able to stop her emotions. She heard some ruffling and saw Fleur's hands take the parchments in front of her, putting them on the side before she felt the bed dip right in front of her. When she finally lifted her head a little, she found out Fleur wasn't facing her but facing the bed next to her, not looking at her yet offering her a hand. Lilith's heart warmed at the gesture. Fleur knew her better than she knew herself. She knew how to act or what to say just based on the tone of her voice. And she knew what she needed. So when Lilith took her hand, she didn't object when Fleur gently pulled her towards her so she ended up laying with her head on Fleur's lap with Fleur's other hand running gentle circles on her hip through her Ravenclaw jumper.

"I'm worried about you, Vala. I know something has been bothering you, it's obvious. But you have us, you can talk to us and you know that. Keeping it in and avoiding others, it's not healthy. I know that it's your nature, Morgana I know it, but people around you love you and have your back, no matter what. Can you tell me what happened, darling?" Lilith closed her eyes, feeling the tears building up at Fleur's gentle voice and touch.

"I once told Cedric that loving someone you can't have is the most beautiful way to die. I'm not sure I like it anymore."Fleur stayed silent, giving her space. "I kissed her."

"What?" it wasn't a yell or a shriek, but a mere whisper that made a few tears escape from under Lilith's eyelids.

"I ran into her after the ball, she was upset, I was drunk and she told me she never had her first kiss."

"So you just kissed her?" Lilith shook her head slightly.

"She asked me. I told her it was a bad idea, and I was right." Lilith whispered and more tears fell. "She ended up crying, Fleur. And now, Krum's all over her. When I saw them together when I came back, I thought it was for the better." More tears fell, and Lilith was sure Fleur's skirt was all ruined now. "But it hurts, Fleur. Why does it hurt so much?" she felt Fleur curling around her like a protective cocoon, shielding her from the world. And only in that protected space, she felt safe enough to completely break. Sobs shook her body violently as all the emotions she pushed back for weeks came out in a flood, completely absorbing her. She felt Fleur's arm embracing her body, her hand squeezing hers, and hair tickling her cheek, giving her familiar comfort that only her best friend could give. And because Fleur knew her so well, she knew not to say anything, only to wait and let her get it all out. After what felt like an eternity, the sobs became slight hiccups, and hiccups became small sniffles. Only then she felt Fleur plant a small kiss on her temple.

"Even in our world, only two things are a mystery. Death and love. And love might be the more painful one. You love her, Vala. You've loved her for a very long time. That's why it hurts. Because she is your one, and she's slipping away." Lilith closed her eyes. They were still a bit sore from crying but her soul lightened. She needed a good cry, it cleared her mind.

"She might be my one, but I'm not hers."

"You could be if you pursued her." Lilith sighed.

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because she's not mine to pursue. She's her own person, living her own life. She's just had her first kiss and just because I stole it, it doesn't mean I have some sort of claim on her. She should be free to find herself, not have me to trail after her wanting to lock her in a cage with my problems. Because that's exactly what would happen." Fleur was silent for a few moments, running her hand through Lilith's hair gently.

"You didn't steal anything. She gave it to you, willingly. That must mean something." Lilith sighed and slowly got up from Fleur's lap, wiping her face with the hem of her jumper.

"Even if it did, Fleur, right now she's finding herself, and that is hard enough. We both know that." she saw Fleur hesitating for a moment before giving in, and ending the conversation. But she didn't protest when Fleur gently pushed her onto the bed, tucking her in before laying next to her and closing the curtains. It was safe to say that it was the most sleep she got in weeks.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"So you feel better now?" Lilith rolled her eyes and continued writing her potions essay.

"For the hundredth time, Ced, yes I am."

"Alright, just checking. Fleur said she talked to you so I just wanted to make sure." he sipped his tea and turned a page of Charms book in front of him.

"Ced, I appreciate it but I'm okay. I promise." she gave him a half smile.

"Good, good." he smiled. "So if you feel better, any idea how I could breathe underwater?" Lilith raised her eyebrow and stopped writing.

"Really?" Cedric gave her a nervous smile.

"I know it sounds stupid but yes." Lilith sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"Ced, I love you so I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. You're dumb." Cedric gaped at her.

"How am I dumb?"

"Because if you paid attention in Charms, you'd know the answer and didn't have to ask me, dummy." she rolled her eyes and put her quill down.

"So you know?" she found it funny how desperate Cedric sounded and took her time, sipping her coffee and nursing the cup she held in her hands before nodding.

"And can you tell me?" she chuckled and took another sip.

"I'm gonna need more than that." she was just playing but what she didn't expect was Cedric jumping over the Ravenclaw table in one swing motion and kneeling in front of her on the stone floor with outstretched hands.

"Oh Lilith Farrow," Lilith had to suppress a chuckle when he yelled out, gaining the attention of half of the students in Great Hall. "You are the wisest, the most extraordinary witch I've ever known and it's an honour to exist in your presence. On the other hand, I'm just a dumb, stupid idiot. Can you please tell me?" as she looked around, almost all eyes were on them, some curious, some laughing at Cedric's dramatic act. She just rolled her eyes and yanked Cedric up by his elbow, making him sit back on the bench next to her but not before smacking the back of his head.

"A simple 'please' would be enough, Ced." Cedric just shrugged, smirking at her. "It's Bubble-Head charm. It makes a bubble around your head that supplies you with oxygen." Cedric blinked a few times before a wide smile made its way onto his lips. He quickly leaned towards her and gave her a big kiss on her right cheek.

"I love you." Lilith rolled her eyes and wiped the wet cheek with the hem of her robes.

"Yeah, sure. Why do you even need it?"

"I didn't tell you?"

"No?" Cedric chuckled and leaned closer.

"I solved the egg. The key was opening it underwater. The Second task will be happening in the Black Lake." Lilith's eyes widened at the new information.

"Does Fleur..."

"Of course she does. And I think Krum does too." she nodded and her eyes travelled towards the Gryffindor table, spotting the familiar mop of black hair.

"What about Potter?" Cedric winced and shook his head.

"Do you think I should tell him? He told me about the dragons."

"It'd be fair. But wouldn't it be suspicious if you just talked to him out of the blue?" Cedric smiled nervously.

"Funny you mention that." Lilith raised her eyebrow. "Could you tell him about it?"

"Me?"

"Please?" Lilith glared at him.

"And why should I do that?"

"Because I happen to have that Bob Dylan t-shirt that you so desperately wanted." Cedric grinned mischievously. Lilith froze, her eyes widened in shock.

"You mean your black Forever Young t-shirt that's signed?"

"The one and only. If you do it for me, it's yours." Lilith didn't hesitate for a second and outstretched her hand.

"You got yourself a deal, mate." Cedric grinned and shook her hand.

"Pleasure doing business with you."

"Yeah, yeah sure." she rolled her eyes and smirked. "Don't you have Transfiguration in like, two minutes?" she chuckled as she watched Cedric's face losing all colour, freezing for a second before he jumped back across the table and quickly threw all his things into his book bag.

"See you." he said before sprinting out of the Great Hall, leaving Lilith alone sipping her coffee thinking about how to get Potter alone.

The opportunity came earlier than she thought. Right after her Potions class, she ran into stressed-looking Harry Potter. Literally ran into him, almost ending up on the floor.

"Sorry Lilith, I wasn't looking." Harry looked a bit afraid but she just waved her hand.

"It's fine." she looked around if nobody was around. "Do you still have trouble with that egg?" she asked in a hushed tone. Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he nodded. "Tell you what, take it and go to the fifth floor. The fourth door to the left of Boris the Bewildered statue is the prefect's bathroom, password's Pine-fresh. Take it as a 'thank you' from Cedric for the dragons." Harry blinked a few times, clearly shocked at the information. "Next time watch where you go, Potter." she added, louder this time, and quickly left the scene, leaving confused-looking Harry far behind her.

++++++++++++++++++++++

February 1995

Hermione was confused. When she and Ron entered McGonagall's office, the head of Gryffindor house wasn't there but she almost stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Lilith sitting on one of the chairs in front of the desk. Lilith's head turned towards them when she heard the door open and judging by her expression, she was just as confused as them. It was the first time since Yule Ball that Hermione saw Lilith up close. She looked paler and skinnier than before and the bags under her eyes seemed to deepen. Something tugged at Hermione's heart, a worried voice echoed in her mind. She looks sick. Is she sick? Is she alright? Was something happening? She couldn't shake the voice out.

"Alright, does anybody know what's happening?" Lilith asked, sinking back into her chair.

"No idea. Did you do something?" Lilith glared at Ron. Hermione had to suppress a chuckle when she heard Ron's nervous gulp.

"You mistake me for my sister, Weasley. I don't get into trouble." Hermione saw Ron's mouth opening but at that moment the door behind them opened. They had to step aside to make room for Professor McGonagall, the Headmaster and a small blonde figure that trailed behind them. Lilith immediately shot up from her chair.

"Gabrielle?" Hermione watched as the small blonde looked around in confusion that changed into glee when she spotted Lilith and ran straight into her arms. Gabrielle started speaking millions of words per minute and Hermione wouldn't understand it even if her words were in English. She watched as Lilith's eyes travelled from Gabrielle to Dumbledore as she stopped Gabrielle and put her arms around her, protectively tucking her against her front.

"What is happening, professor?" Dumbledore gave them all a comforting smile.

"As you all might know, the Second task of the Tournament will take place in the Black Lake. The objective of our champions will be to recover a treasure that was taken from them. You four are the treasure." Hermione gaped at Dumbledore and looked at her companions. Ron looked just as surprised as she was, Gabrielle looked confused, probably not understanding any words Dumbledore said, and Lilith looked a little angry. "Mr Weasley is Mr Potter's, Miss Granger is Mr Krum's," Hermione could feel the tips of her ears burning. "Miss Farrow is Mr Diggory's, and..."

"No." Hermione's head snapped towards Lilith who interrupted Professor Dumbledore.

"Pardon?" she watched as Lilith hugged Gabrielle closer. She didn't know why but it warmed her heart to see Lilith so protective of the small blonde.

"No. Take McGuney or Newton as Cedric's treasure and I'll be Fleur's but Gabrielle's not going!" it was quite a sight to see Lilith go against two professors.

"Miss Farrow!"

"It's alright Minerva." Dumbledore waved his hand as he looked at Lilith. "Why Miss Farrow?"

"Professor, Gabrielle is eleven, and she's terrified of deep water. I simply can't allow you to leave her in the Black Lake for who knows how long." Gabrielle looked between Lilith and Dumbledore, clearly confused as to why her name was being mentioned.

"Miss Farrow, Madame Maxime agreed to this arrangement." Professor McGonagall looked clearly frustrated with Lilith's unexpected outburst.

"Yes but Madame Maxime is not her sister."

"Neither are you, Miss Farrow."

"I might as well be!" Hermione was shocked as was clearly everyone in the room. Never during her years at Hogwarts had she heard Lilith raise her voice up until that moment. She could see the desperation in Lilith's eyes as she hugged Gabrielle closer to her.

"Miss Farrow," Dumbledore spoke in a comforting voice, clearly not keen to push Lilith more. "If you allow me to explain first, I will allow you to yell at me all you want afterwards. May I continue?" it was silent for a moment before Lilith gave him a small nod.

"As I was saying, Miss Delacour will be Miss Delacour's," it finally clicked into place for Hermione. That's why Lilith was so protective of the small blonde. She was Fleur's little sister. She was a bit embarrassed it didn't immediately click in. She'd seen the little girl with Fleur and Lilith a few times but she thought she was just another Beauxbaton student."I have to stress that you will be in no danger whatsoever. You will be placed under a Sleeping spell the whole time and wake up once you and your champion reach the surface. No harm will be done to any of you."

"The egg said the champions will have an hour. What if they won't reach us in time?" Lilith quipped, her eyes not leaving Dumbledore whose lip turned slightly up.

"To calm your nerves, Miss Farrow, I've spoken with the Merchieftainess Marcus of the colony that resides in the Black Lake. They will guard you the whole time and after the said hour passes, they will bring you back to the surface. That is if your champion won't reach you in time." Dumbledore stepped closer, a comforting smile still resting on his lips. Lilith was still holding Dumbledore's gaze, not budging. "You are a good friend, and I understand you care about Miss Delacour but I can assure you, Miss Farrow, everyone will be safe. Miss Delacour won't even know that she was underwater the whole time." the two of them stared at each other for a little while.

"You do know that I will personally hold it against you if something goes wrong, right?" maybe Hermione didn't hear it right but it almost sounded like a threat. Dumbledore only smiled.

"I expected nothing less, Miss Farrow. Can we continue?" Lilith finally gave him a small nod after a few moments.

"As I was saying, now you will be placed under a Sleeping spell, so if you all could please take a seat." he gestured toward the chairs in the room. Hermione exchanged a look with Ron before taking a seat in a chair nearby. She shot a look at Lilith who was silently speaking with Gabrielle. There was no desperation or anger on her face but a gentle half-smile that was made to help Gabrielle stay calm. The next thing she knew was Dumbledore stepping in front of her with a wand in his hand.

The water was icy cold, soaking her clothes and hair when she gasped for air. She saw what appeared to be Viktor in the middle of transformation who had been pulling her toward the dock. When the water finally cleared out of her ears, she heard yells and screams from the students standing on them. When they finally reached it, Viktor helped her climb up and she was quickly enveloped in a warm, thick blanket that finally gave her some warmth. She looked around. She saw Cedric also standing there, wrapped in a blanket who was watching two other people loudly yelling at each other in French. When she got closer, she finally realised it was Fleur and Lilith. Both were soaked and wrapped in blankets but Fleur had a few bloody scratches covering her body and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Other students didn't seem to mind them as they were still watching the lake.

"Hey Hermione, you alright?" Cedric gave her a small smile but continued watching the commotion with worry.

"I'm okay, thank you. What's happening?" Hermione asked quietly, watching the two witches.

"Fleur didn't get past the Grindylows, and she started screaming at Lilith the moment we got here. They've been at it for a while now."

"Why?" Cedric shrugged.

"I don't know French so I have no idea." Hermione looked around, her eyes finally falling on the clock hanging near the judges.

"Have you seen Harry?" Cedric nodded.

"Last I saw him he was in the Lake."

"Did he find us?"

"He did, he was there first but it looked like he waited." Hermione's eyes widened.

"He what? He's supposed to be done in a minute and you're telling me he's still there?" Cedric shrugged and was about to answer when the crowd went wild. Both of them quickly turned towards the lake to see two people emerging from the water. But something wasn't right. She didn't see Harry's familiar black hair but Ron's red and someone's blond hair.

"Gabrielle!" she heard two voices yelling at the same time and then a splash.

"She's a bloody idiot." she heard Cedric mumble and took a step closer to finally see what he was talking about. The splash she heard earlier was Lilith who jumped back into the water and quickly swam towards Gabrielle who seemed to be in panic at her surroundings, her blonde head disappearing under the water every few seconds. Even if they weren't so far out, Lilith seemed to make it in record time, pulling Gabrielle towards her, safely holding her head above the water as she turned to swim back. As she was watching Lilith, Hermione didn't even realise Harry also emerged from the water along with a battalion of merpeople who followed two boys as they all made their way back towards the bank. From her left, she could hear Fleur's screams as she was being restrained by Madame Maxime and finally calmed down a little bit when Lilith safely delivered Gabrielle to her, quickly wrapping her in a blanket that was previously hers, and disappearing towards Madam Pomfrey with Cedric on her heels.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

She hadn't seen Lilith and Fleur together since their fight during the Second task. In fact, she hadn't seen Lilith all together just like in previous weeks which only dampened her mood. She didn't know why but she wanted to know what their fight was about. They've seemed so close but during the fight, it looked like Fleur was seconds away from hitting Lilith.

Her opportunity came when she saw Fleur sitting in the courtyard, reading a book. She was alone, which was surprising considering that she was Fleur Delacour. So she bit her lip, gathered her courage and walked up to her.

"Fleur?" the blonde tore her eyes from the page and looked at her. She was nervous to ask her, and not only because Fleur was beautiful.

"Hermione?" she hadn't heard Fleur speak English often so she was surprised she only spoke with a slight accent. "Do you need something?"

"I," Hermione hesitated. "I wanted to ask, what did you two fight about?" Fleur tilted her head in confusion.

"What?"

"You and Lilith. You were screaming at each other, and you looked like you wanted to punch her. Lilith said you are like her sister so I just wanted to ask why?" she felt Fleur watching her before she closed her book and sighed.

"You never fight with your friends?"

"I do, but the two of you... it was just unexpected." Fleur let out a dry chuckle.

"Yes, well, life is unexpected." she paused and looked down at the book. "It was about Gabrielle." Hermione finally looked at her. "When we arrived at the bank, I didn't know where she was. Then I found out she was in the Lake so I tried to get to her. And failed." Fleur's eyes were still boring into the book cover. "And then Cedric comes back with Lilith, and no Gabrielle in sight. And I was so worried and scared and angry that I just started screaming at her because I knew she had to be there when they put you under the spell. I'm still mad at her. I can't believe she would allow it." she could hear the anger in Fleur's voice. She paused once again and sighed. "Are you happy with your answer?" Hermione bit her lip before sitting down on the same bench as Fleur, only a little bit further away.

"She didn't.." Fleur's eyes snapped towards her.

"What?"

"You should've seen her, Fleur. I've never seen her so angry. She didn't want it, and she fought Dumbledore about it. I think that after she pulled Gabrielle out, she went to yell at him."

"She didn't tell me." she heard Fleur's whisper and shrugged.

"Maybe she thought you'd feel better if you had someone to blame." Fleur let out a loud sigh and her shoulders collapsed.

"What an idiot. I have to find her." she got up and gathered her things but paused and looked at Hermione.

"Look, I shouldn't be telling you this. I don't know about your feelings or how far are you in finding yourself, but when you do find yourself, you should know that she likes you. Really likes you. Bye." And as Fleur left the courtyard, Hermione sat on a bench, completely stunned by the bomb the older witch just dropped on her. Lilith Farrow likes her?!