HP:per aspera

April 1995

She didn't hear the sound of rain, she didn't feel the wind that blew through the Astronomy Tower or the coldness that came with it. She only felt Lilith's warm body pressed up against her, her fingers in her hair and the softness of her lips that she missed so much. She didn't realise it but she missed all those feelings that came along with Lilith. A fire started inside of her and ripped through her heart, her lungs, her soul. Her mind was quiet and loud at the same time. Only Lilith could do that to her.

She didn't know how much time had passed when Lilith pulled away, she could feel her fingers gently caressing her cheekbone when she finally opened her eyes. Lilith's cheeks were flushed, her pupils were blown and her lips were slightly swollen. She was beautiful. Stunning. Hermione wanted to lean in again, to feel those lips again but she stopped. Lilith was still caressing her cheek but she was watching her with a look that puzzled Hermione.

"Did I do something wrong?" Hermione was worried. She did kiss Lilith out of nowhere, she had no idea how she would react to something like that. Lilith sighed and shook her head, looking away.

"No, you didn't. You just caught me off guard." she paused and bit her lip. "Look, Hermione, I'd love to talk to you about this but I've already lost track of time before you came in and now I'm running extremely late." she gave her a sad half-smile. "I gotta go but I promise we'll talk, alright?" Hermione frowned but nodded. She didn't want Lilith to go so quickly but had no choice. As a parting gift, Lilith leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek before slipping away.

That was a week ago and Hermione was furious. She hadn't seen Lilith the whole week, not even a glimpse in the corridors or in the Great Hall. Nothing. It was as if she'd disappeared. Harry and Ron kept their distance from Hermione. Even they sensed the foul mood she was in and kept their distance. They didn't want to get caught in the crossfire. Was Lilith avoiding her? Did Hermione make a huge mistake and Lilith only said what she said just to let her down gently? Was Fleur lying to her?

Hermione felt like screaming and banging her head against the wall for the first few days before she came up with a plan. That's how she found herself waiting in a dark corner of the corridor. When her target finally came into her view, she grabbed him by his elbow, pushing him into an empty classroom nearby. It was hard to get Cedric alone but not impossible. To say he was surprised to see her was an understatement.

"Where is she?" she didn't even give him time to ask any questions first. She was frustrated and angry which was not a good combination as she was glaring daggers at Cedric.

"Who?"

"Lilith. Where is she?" Cedric looked uncomfortable as he loosened his Hufflepuff tie a little bit.

"Hermione I don't think..."

"Cedric, please. You two are basically attached at the hip so I'm sure she told you what happened." Cedric hesitated for a moment before nodding, confirming her theory. "She told me we would talk and now I can't find her anywhere. Is she avoiding me?" she sounded desperate and she was. She watched as Cedric leaned against the teacher's desk and looked at her with a look she couldn't pinpoint.

"Do you really fancy her?" Hermione bit her lip.

"I do."

"Alright." Cedric nodded and opened his book bag "Then calm down. She's not avoiding you. She's in London, she's been there the whole week." Hermione blinked in surprise.

"London?"

"Yes. This is for you." Cedric pulled a folded parchment out of his bag and showed it to Hermione. Hermione was confused as her eyes went from the parchment to Cedric. She reached to grab it but Cedric's hand pulled back.

"Before I give it to you, we need to have a little talk." Hermione gulped as she looked at Cedric. He looked a bit hesitant as he looked at the parchment and bit his lip. "Look, Hermione," he sighed and ruffled his hair. "Lili's my best friend. She's my sister."

"I know that."

"Yes, well, then you should know that I know her better than her own siblings." She'd never seen Cedric look so serious. He always had a smile on his face and joked around but now he wasn't smiling and his eyes pierced through Hermione. "I love her from the bottom of my heart, and I need to make sure she doesn't get hurt."

"I wouldn't..."

"Let me finish." Hermione's mouth quickly closed. "I've been with her through everything and I know every side of her. And not every side is pretty. You should know that before you go running in like a headless chicken." Hermione staid silent. "She's a workaholic, stubborn as a bull, a chain-smoker and difficult to deal with. If you expect her to be an open book, if you expect her to tell you everything, if you expect her to be there all the time, if you expect her to be as calm and as gentle as she's been so far... you should turn around, walk out of here and forget about this." Hermione stayed silent but her actions spoke more than words. She straightened her back, pushed her shoulders back and held her head high as if to show Cedric she wasn't afraid. She never backed out from a challenge. He seemed to understand her poise as he looked at her with a raised eyebrow, his eyes softening.

"Tell me, Hermione, what do you see in her?" Hermione's eyes fell towards the parchment in his hand, the familiar little fire was still burning in her chest.

"She's brave," she remembered the time before the Second task. "Loyal," she remembered Lilith jumping into the Black Lake. "Compassionate," she remembered Lilith sitting with her in the Hospital Wing. "She makes me feel like no one has ever had. She feels like home." Cedric was silent, watching Hermione, studying her. She felt the tips of her ears burning as she waited for an answer. To her surprise, the corner of Cedric's lip twitched upwards.

"Alright then, here you go." he finally outstretched his hand to Hermione who immediately snatched the parchment from it. "And when you see her, please tell her I'm not her owl. Bye." he pushed himself from the desk and walked out of the classroom, leaving Hermione by herself. She started at the parchment for a few moments before unfolding it, revealing a note written in an elegant cursive.

Hermione,

If you're reading this, that means you've found Cedric. Yes, I was expecting you'd find him. I just hope he didn't make a scene.

I'm sorry about my disappearance, it wasn't intended but I had a business to attend to in London and the matter takes more time than expected. I should be back by Friday the 16th. I promised you we would talk and we will. Can you meet me on Saturday after 9 pm in the Astronomy Tower?

Once again, I apologize.

Lilith

Hermione smiled. She couldn't wait for Saturday to come.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Ouch, can you stop hitting me?!" Lilith hit him harder. "Ouch, stop it!"

"Are you mad?!" she hissed and hit the back of his head.

"Vala stop it."Lilith spun around and pointed her finger at Fleur.

"Oh, don't even get me started on you!" she glared at the duo. "Have you two completely lost your minds?!" she was glad she chose the abandoned corridor on the fifth floor. Nobody could hear them there on a Friday evening. "You spill my secrets and you interrogate her? And you still call yourselves my friends?" both Cedric and Fleur ducked their heads, avoiding Lilith's piercing gaze.

"I trust you with everything, and then you go and do this?" she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall behind her. "Why in Merlin's name did you do that?" she was angry, tired and frustrated. She didn't have the energy to deal with this mess but once she found out, she knew she had to. Cedric looked like a kicked puppy but Fleur mirrored her poise.

"Because I knew you'd never act otherwise. And you're miserable, Vala. You think we don't see that?"

"That's none of your business, Fleur!" Lilith pushed from the wall and Fleur stepped closer, both of them glaring at each other.

"You don't think it isn't? You've been in love with her for years and she cares about you. And you'd have thrown it away!" Fleur started to glow slightly, her Veela charm was slowly coming to the surface.

"I told you my reasons, Fleur!"

"Bullshit!" both of them were so fired up at that point that their hands twitched towards their wands but Cedric had enough.

"Alright, stop it!" he shouted and barged between them, holding each of them by their shoulder. That seemed to snap both of them out of their exchange.

"Lili, what we did wasn't meant to hurt you." he sighed as he pushed them away from each other. Lilith was still glaring at them but her exhaustion took the better of her. She once again sagged against the wall, sliding down until she was sitting on the ground.

"Then why? I've told you multiple times my reasons and yet you go and do this?" the voice that came out of her wasn't angry anymore but tired, sad. Cedric and Fleur exchanged a look before they sat down next to her, each one on one side of her.

"Vala," Fleur spoke gently, taking Lilith's left hand into hers. Lilith didn't fight her. "We've watched the whole year, and you're withering away. You took on so much in such a short time and it's..." she sighed and rubbed her thumb against Lilith's knuckles, unable to continue.

"We just want you to be happy." Cedric wrapped his arm around Lilith's shoulders. "You deserve to be happy, Lili. And she does care about you."

"You got that from your interrogation?"

"Actually yeah, I did." Lilith snorted and Cedric smiled. "She likes you, Lili. Just give it a shot."

"Why do you think we made up after the Second task?" Liliht shrugged and looked at Fleur. "Thanks to her. She's a nice girl, and she means well." Lilith's mouth formed into a small 'O'. She was silent for a moment.

"But..."

"Yes, we know." Cedric rolled his eyes. "But she's reasonable. I'm sure that if you straight up give her boundaries, she'll respect them." Lilith sighed and leaned her head against Fleur's shoulder.

"You really think so?"

"I know so. And I know that if you pass this up, you'll regret this. Big time."

"I know."

"Good." Fleur kissed the crown of her hair, squeezing her hand in hers.

"I love you, you little shits."

"We love you too, Lili."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hermione's heart pounded in her chest as she walked up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower. She still had a few minutes to spare when she stopped at the door. She almost ran up the steps so it took her a few minutes to catch her breath. Her heart was still pounding when she opened the door, and nearly stopped when she spotted the figure sitting on a parapet. Lilith was sitting with her back turned to Hermione and her legs over the edge. Hermione noticed she didn't have her Ravenclaw uniform but muggle clothes and the smoke coming from her left her signalled she was once again holding a lit cigarette.

"Hello." Lilith's quiet voice rang through the silent Astronomy Tower but she didn't turn towards Hermione. Instead, she waved at her to come closer. Hermione closed the door.

"Hi." Hermione was now standing by the parapet, her eyes burning into the side of Lilith's head. She wasn't a fan of heights and Lilith sat on a parapet of the highest tower at Hogwarts, risking that a wrong gust of wind could throw her off at any moment. She didn't like that, not at all. When Lilith finally faced her, all worry seemed to disappear from Hermione. A few strands of dark hair framed Lilith's face whilst the rest was pulled into a ponytail reaching the half of her back. A small smile played on her lips and the younger girl could see small bags under the brown eyes that were boring into hers.

"Come sit." Lilith gestured towards the parapet which Hermione eyed warily. "Don't worry, you won't fall." Hermione hesitated but in the end, she sat down, keeping her distance from the edge.

"I'm truly sorry about Cedric." Lilith hummed and took a drag from her cigarette. Hermione winced.

"So you know about...?"

"Oh yeah, I know all about it." Lilith leaned against the wall, swinging her legs so now they weren't hanging off but were securely on the parapet. "He was only supposed to give that note, not interrogate you. I already gave him a piece of my mind about it." she let out a puff of smoke and Hermione noticed she was careful not to push it in Hermione's direction.

"How did you know I'd find him?" Hermione raised her eyebrow. Lilith smirked and shrugged.

"Cause I had an inkling you were stubborn. And I wanted to see if I was right." Hermione blushed.

"Looks like I am."

"Looks like it." Lilith took another drag and looked out, her eyes travelling along the night sky.

"Do you know why I like to come here?" it was more of a rhetorical question. "From up here, everything under seems so small. And then you look up and realise that compared to that everything is in fact small and insignificant. Compared to that, our worries are small and insignificant." Hermione smiled as she watched Lilith admire the stars.

"It makes you feel better?" Lilith finally looked back at her.

"A little bit, yes." Hermione bit her lip.

"Why were you in London?" Lilith sighed and looked away.

"Family business."

"Which is?" Lilith took another drag from the cigarette.

"My family owns some estates, and we are, well, I'm the landlady of those estates. I collect the rent and solve problems over them. I had a problem to solve." Hermione wasn't surprised about how evasive the answer sounded. Even though Lilith gave her a clear answer, most of the actual facts were hidden from the answer.

'If you expect her to be an open book, if you expect her to tell you everything... you should turn around, walk out of here and forget about this.' Cedric's voice rang through her head. He was right. Hermione watched as Lilith put out her cigarette and tugged her legs against her chest, facing her properly as if waiting for more questions to come.

"Alright." Lilith furrowed her eyebrows.

"Alright?"

"Is that a problem?" Lilith shook her head.

"No, I just... I thought you'd ask more."

"Do you want me to?" Lilith's silence told her more than words could. Hermione sighed.

"Look, Lilith, I know you're a very private person with secrets. It's your privacy and I won't pry into it unless you decide to tell me." Lilith blinked a few times clearly taken aback by Hermione's statement.

"You wouldn't mind it?" Hermione bit her lip and shrugged.

"It would bother me a little, yes, but I can respect that." she could see a corner of Lilith's lip turning upwards.

"Alright." she paused and looked away. "Well, then I think I can stop with the charade and tell you that I know what Fleur told you." Hermione eyes widened.

"You know about...?"

"Yes, I know about that too. I gave both of them a piece of my mind about going behind my back. Both of them at the same time." Hermione blushed but she could see a little pink on Lilith's cheeks.

"So is it true? Do you like me?" Lilith was silent for a moment before leaning her chin on her knee and looking at Hermione.

"Yes, I do." The little flame inside Hermione grew as a wildfire, filling her with warmth from her insides to her fingertips.

"But you must know something." Lilith sighed intertwined her fingers.

"What is it?" Hermione shuffled closer to Lilith until she was almost within her reach.

"You can't be seen with me in public." Hermione froze. The fire inside of her went out in a second.

"What?" she asked, hoping that she heard her wrong. Lilith avoided her eyes.

"You can't be seen with me in public." shock was exchanged by anger as she clenched her jaws together.

"Because you're an almighty Farrow and I'm a just muggle-born witch? Is that it?" she got to her feet, ready to walk out of the tower but a hand wrapping itself around her wrist stopped her.

"I didn't mean it like that." Lilith's voice was calm as she gently tugged at her hand. Hermione turned back to her.

"Then how did you mean it?" she knew her tone was harsh but she was so used to the prejudice in the wizarding world that it was an automatic response.

"Sit down, please?" Lilith once again tugged at her hand and after a few moments, Hermione begrudgingly sat back. Lilith's hand stayed wrapped around her wrist, her thumb drawing small circles there that seemed to calm Hermione down.

"Yes, the Farrow name is very prolific and very influential." Lilith started slowly, looking Hermione right in the eye. There wasn't any anger or frustration at her outburst but a hint of sadness. "Which can be a good thing. But also a bad thing." Hermione tilted her head in confusion. Lilith bit her lip. "Over the past centuries, my family gathered many enemies, and those enemies have children at Hogwarts. They don't bother me, personally, I was brought up already aware of them and know how to deal with them." Lilith sighed and the hand that was previously wrapped around Hermione's wrist released its grip. But Hermione acted quickly, catching it before Lilith could pull it back, and intertwined their fingers together. Lilith smiled sadly at the sight of their conjoined hands. "But if they'd see you with me, they'd see it as an opening, and they'd strike. They'd go after you to get to me, and I can't let that happen. I just can't. That's why you can't be seen with me in public." Lilith smiled sadly at her and Hermione gave her hand a squeeze. She was prepared for almost everything but she wasn't expecting this. She truly didn't know anything about old families and their dynamics.

"In that case," she whispered. "I'm okay with that." Lilith blinked a few times.

"Really?"

"Yes." Lilith smiled at her. She brought their joined hands towards her lips, giving her knuckles a featherlike kiss whilst still keeping eye contact with Hermione. She could feel the blood rushing into her cheeks at the gesture. It was something so innocent yet intimate at the same time.

"Thank you." she paused a moment. "I have something for you." she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded parchment.

"Another note?" Hermione chuckled and Lilith smirked, outstretching her hand to give her the parchment.

"Do you remember when I promised you I'd pull some strings at the Ministry so they could look at your proposition?" Hermione nodded. "Well, I did that and to be frank, I completely forgot about it." Lilith chuckled nervously and scratched the back of her neck. "But when I was in London, I was contacted by Mrs Puffing, a very lovely lady by the way. She's the Head of Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. And she gave me this." Lilith smiled.

"What is this?" Hermione asked as she looked over the parchment. Most of the parchment was filled with paragraphs.

"Well, they looked over your proposition and decided it actually contained a few good points. So they decided to work some of it into the law regarding the treatment of house-elves. It's mainly just play with words but few of those words are from your proposition. So congratulations, it's not much but baby steps." Hermione gapes at the parchment. The longer she stared at it, the longer she recognized it. It was the law Lilith was talking about a few of those words were indeed her own. The document was signed Amanda Puffing, Head of Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. She was still in shock as she looked at Lilith who was looking at her, smiling warmly. Without thinking, she surged forward, her arms wrapping around Lilith's torso, her head bumping against Lilith's chest. She heard Lilith squeak a little in surprise as she pushed both of them back but after a moment she could feel her chest trembling in silent chuckles as she wrapped her arms around Hermione. Thanks to Hermione, they were now laying on the parapet, with Hermione on top of Lilith.

"Thank you." Hermione tightened her arms around Lilith and felt Lilith chuckle under her. She lifted her head, looking at the older witch. "You didn't have to do that." Lilith reached out and tucked a loose strand behind Hermione's ear.

"You had a good cause, a good enough proposition after some work. Why have influence if you can't use it once in a while?" Lilith studied her face with a warm smile still playing on her lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Is that why you did that?" Hermione smirked and narrowed her away at Lilith.

"Maybe." Lilith played along. "Did it work?" Hermione didn't answer her. Instead, she leaned down and kissed her. Out of all their kisses, this one was probably the best. There was no nervousness, no crying, anger or frustration. It was pure happiness that filled both of them. It was a short one but sweet. As Hermione pulled away, she smiled down at Lilith.

"I will."