HP: Too Late, System! I’m Already the DADA Professor

Ollivander paused in thought.

"Charlie Weasley… Yes, I remember his wand—twelve inches, ash wood, unicorn tail hair. A fine wand, truly. But its first master changed course and left it behind. Then its new owner failed to treat it with care. Ah, when a wand is deeply heartbroken, it can do things no one would ever expect."

Douglas's eyes sparkled with sudden understanding. Trust an old fox like Ollivander to find such a poetic excuse. Why hadn't he thought of that?

Ollivander's words left Ron looking utterly miserable. For a moment, he really did feel like it was his own neglect that had made the wand self-destruct under Professor Holmes's spell.

Smack!

Douglas gave the daydreaming Ron a light slap on the head.

"Out with the old, in with the new! What's there to mope about? Think about it—if your old wand hadn't broken, would you be getting a new one today? Exactly! And if you didn't buy a new wand, how would Mr. Ollivander earn money to buy new wand materials? If he didn't buy new materials, how would the suppliers make a living? If the suppliers don't earn, they can't pay taxes to the Ministry of Magic. No taxes, no Ministry salaries. Your dad wouldn't get paid, and if he doesn't get paid, how would he raise you? If you weren't raised, you couldn't buy a wand. If you don't buy a wand…"

With every step in this ridiculous logic, Ron nodded along, more and more dazed. By the end, he looked thoroughly confused.

Douglas shot Ollivander a smug look, as if to say, "When it comes to talking circles, I'm every bit your match."

Ollivander blinked his silvery eyes in mock surrender.

Suddenly, Ron piped up,

"But, Professor, you're the one buying me a wand, not Dad…"

Thud!

Douglas rolled his eyes.

"Don't sweat the details! Hurry up and pick a wand—Professor McGonagall only gave me an hour, and you've nearly wasted it all!"

Ron muttered under his breath, "You're the one who's been dragging things out…"

After some searching, Ron finally selected a fourteen-inch willow wand with a unicorn tail hair core. By that time, nearly forty minutes had passed.

Douglas hurried him back toward The Leaky Cauldron to wait for the Floo to reconnect to Hogwarts. As they passed Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, Douglas cast a cautious glance inside. No sign of Slane—he let out a sigh of relief.

It wasn't that he disliked being friends with Slane; he just didn't want to hear about deadlines every time they met. Muggle editors never nagged him like that. Of course, maybe that was just because Muggle editors couldn't find him.

Just as he thought he'd dodged Slane, a familiar figure burst out of Madam Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions across the street.

"Hey there, Professor Holmes! Never thought I'd run into you in London at this hour!"

Douglas forced a smile and swept Slane into a quick hug. Leaning in, he whispered,

"I'm out shopping with a student—keep it down! The manuscript will be on your desk by Monday, I swear!"

The haunted look vanished from Slane's face, replaced by a broad grin. He clapped Douglas on the back and whispered, "Deal!"

Douglas hastily released him—two grown men hugging in the middle of Diagon Alley was hardly proper. He glanced at the beautifying potions shop and teased,

"Ah, I'm here for a student, but you? Didn't know you were into beautifying potions, Slane."

Slane sighed,

"Actually, I'm just here with Romy and little Rose. They're still inside picking things out. Fancy a quick drink at The Leaky Cauldron?"

Douglas grinned,

"Absolutely! But I've only got twenty minutes—then I have to get back to Hogwarts via Floo. McGonagall's orders, you know."

Slane ducked back into the shop to let his wife know, and soon Romy and little Rose came out to greet Douglas. Then, laughing and chatting, the group headed for The Leaky Cauldron.

Ron trailed behind, once again feeling invisible. He eyed Florean Fortescue's, patted his empty pockets, and could only follow along—maybe he'd score a free juice.

When it was time for the Floo connection, Ron downed the last of his pumpkin soda in one big gulp. Which meant that, the moment they arrived in Professor McGonagall's office, he let out a thunderous burp right in front of her.

Douglas could only roll his eyes in exasperation.

After saying goodbye to Douglas, Ron hurried back to the Gryffindor common room. There, he found Harry hunched over a table in the corner, diligently memorizing his books. Hermione was multitasking—writing her own homework, tutoring Ginny on her Transfiguration essay, and correcting Harry's recitation all at once. George and Fred were huddled together, plotting new ways to cheat.

Of course, even if their cheating failed, at worst they'd just spend another five or six hours memorizing in Professor Holmes's office.

As soon as the twins spotted their brother, they rushed over, sandwiching Ron between them.

"Well done, Ron!"

"Now we're truly brothers in misfortune!"

"Heard you and Harry have to memorize four whole subjects!"

"Mind giving us an exclusive interview—how does it feel?"

Ron struggled, but couldn't escape their grasp.

"Hmph! I'll finish it all, just watch! You two only have to memorize one book, but you've got to report to Professor Holmes every single day. Harry and I only have to go on weekends!"

George and Fred exchanged a look and groaned in agony.

No one had warned them about that little detail.

Hermione swooped in, yanking Ron away and scolding the twins,

"If you're not going to study, at least don't distract Ron! With Professor Holmes's plan, Ron and Harry are bound to get excellent grades this year. What will Mrs. Weasley think of you two then?"

The twins wailed again.

"Oh no, are we about to get another Percy?"

"Mum will be over the moon—new robes, new pets…"

"Looks like we'll be wearing Ron's hand-me-downs from now on!"

That got a good laugh from the nearby students.

Hermione glared at them, then pulled Ron aside.

"Don't listen to their nonsense. Get back to memorizing—if you still haven't finished by the end of the year, that'll be the real nightmare for you!"

Ginny shot a shy glance at Harry, then smiled at Ron.

"Hermione's right. With Professor Holmes and Mum getting along so well, you can bet she'll know exactly how you're doing at school…"

Only then did Ron snap out of it, muttering,

"They… actually have a point. If I do well enough, maybe I'll be like Percy—no more hand-me-downs, and all new textbooks…"

Suddenly, his eyes blazed with determination. He turned to Hermione.

"Hermione, can you teach me how to memorize all this stuff fast? I'm going to beat Percy and become Mum's favorite!"

Harry, Hermione, and Ginny exchanged wary glances.

Was Ron under the Imperius Curse… from Percy?

After reading the first page, Ron let out a massive yawn.

"I can already recite the first section—should be enough for tonight's dictation in Professor Holmes's office, yeah? I've been running around all day, I'm exhausted!"

"Alright, Hermione, you don't have to nag. I'm not going back to the dorm—I'll just nap right here, then get up and keep memorizing. That's fair, right?"

"How about I show you my new wand? I didn't dare take it out with George and Fred around!"

"Look at this finish—just look at the grain on the willow. Isn't it gorgeous?"

Harry, Hermione, and Ginny just shrugged at each other.

Maybe they'd been worrying for nothing after all.

~~~❃❃~~~~~~~~❃❃~~~

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