HP: Alchemy? Nah, It's Crafting

"We hold Sirius down and get Severus to pour some Veritaserum down his throat. Meanwhile, we send the Hogwarts professors to do a surprise 'check-up'—aka inspect the plumbing—in Gryffindor Tower, drag Peter Pettigrew out, hit him with Veritaserum too, and boom—the truth's out," Kasenhis said as if it were the most obvious plan in the world.

"My idea is… we wait," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"What?" Kasenhis and Lupin both turned to look at Dumbledore. "What kind of game are you playing now?"

Dumbledore pulled a letter from under his desk. "Take a look at this."

Kasenhis tore open the envelope and scanned the contents. It was simple enough: Peter Pettigrew had written to the headmaster of Durmstrang, asking him to come to Hogwarts and save him.

"...So you're telling me the professors at Hogwarts are all being mail-monitored by you?"

"Of course not. Anyone officially recorded in the Hogwarts system doesn't get flagged. But the owlery has a detection spell. If a stranger—or an expired identity—tries to send mail, the system auto-backups the letter," Dumbledore explained.

"Oh, that's quite clever."

"Durmstrang's headmaster is Karkaroff… You think he'll actually come?" Lupin asked.

"Hard to say. Pettigrew didn't use any threatening language in the letter, which shows he at least believes Karkaroff isn't entirely clean. The inner circle of the Death Eaters probably knows the truth," Dumbledore said with a shake of his head.

"You want to play god from on high—pull Karkaroff off his pedestal from a Merlin-level perspective," Kasenhis said flatly.

"Well, with the Triwizard Tournament coming up, the Durmstrang headmaster is going to be staying at Hogwarts for most of the school year. I'd say that makes it worth the effort," Dumbledore nodded.

"Wow, you finally did something a headmaster's supposed to do," Kasenhis praised—but the tone of his voice made it sound more like... well, thinly veiled sarcasm.

Dumbledore gave him a helpless look. "Sometimes I truly wonder what kind of image you have of me in your mind."

"You can take a guess," Kasenhis replied, then nudged Lupin with his elbow. "Hey, you know that Animagus Reversal Charm, right?"

Lupin nodded.

"Perfect. Let's head back to my office and call up Severus too—we'll need him to whip up some Veritaserum for Sirius."

"Huh?"

Kasenhis shrugged. "Yeah, look—even if all our reasoning sounds perfectly logical, it's still just reasoning. It's not hard evidence. Real life is often way messier than any mystery novel."

"In fiction, if something doesn't make sense, readers will scream at you. But in real life, when things don't make sense? We just have to suck it up. What if the truth turns out to be completely different from what we guessed?"

As Dumbledore fed his phoenix, Fawkes, he waved Kasenhis off to fetch Snape. "Kasenhis is right. No matter the situation, we must always maintain a basic sense of humility."

Before long, Snape knocked on the Headmaster's door—though he didn't wait for an answer and simply walked in. He completely ignored Lupin, glanced over at Kasenhis and Dumbledore, and said flatly, "What is it now?"

"We've found Sirius Black."

"Oh? You called me just for that—Wait, what!—Where is he?" One second he was cold and stoic—then the next, Snape had his wand out, radiating murderous intent.

"In my office," Kasenhis said awkwardly, raising his hand slightly.

Snape nodded, and without a moment's hesitation, instantly cast a Flight Curse, transforming into a swirl of black smoke and zooming right out the window. Kasenhis and Dumbledore exchanged glances—oh no you don't!—and immediately used their own methods to rush back to the Alchemy office.

This left only Lupin in the Headmaster's office, staring helplessly at Fawkes perched on his stand.

Fawkes gave a weary shrug and flapped his wings at Lupin in solidarity.

"Thanks a bunch. You're the most beautiful phoenix I've ever seen."

Meanwhile, back in the Alchemy office, Snape came bursting in through a vent window in the corner, saw the mini forest setup inside, and flew straight toward it.

Then…

"Kasenhis… why are your trees square?" Snape asked.

"...Makes crafting planks easier," Kasenhis replied stiffly.

"Ah... Right. So—where's Sirius Black?" Snape continued, nodding slowly.

Kasenhis pointed at Sirius Black, who was still sleeping like a dead dog. He looked at Lupin. Lupin looked back at him.

Finally, Dumbledore broke the silence. "Alright, let's be honest—Kasenhis doesn't know a damn thing about proper spellwork." As he spoke, he cast an Animagus Reversal Charm that struck the big black dog on the floor.

In the next moment, Snape laid eyes on the man he'd spent years dreaming of throttling—Sirius Black.

But to his credit, Snape remained composed. He simply pointed his wand and cast a Revival Charm.

Sirius stirred awake slowly. In his daze, the first thing he saw was Snape—and his instincts kicked in. He immediately started barking: "Woof! Woof! Woof!"

Snape responded with a twisted little smile.

"What? Forgotten how to speak human?"

"Wo.. woof..?" Sirius's face froze in place at Snape's jab. Then he looked down at his old, tattered clothes… and his human hands.

Then he looked up and saw everyone gathered around him—Lupin, Dumbledore, Kasenhis.

"Oh, Merlin…"

"Sirius, we have some very important questions for you," Dumbledore said, giving a small cough.

Sirius exhaled a long breath of relief. "Perfect. I've been waiting for a chance to come clean. Ask me anything."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Azkaban Inmate, but you're not quite free to use that tongue and brain of yours just yet. Drink this." Snape pulled a potion vial from his pocket and tossed it over.

Lupin's eyes widened at the full bottle and shot Snape a look.

Snape just shrugged. "It's diluted. Don't be so dramatic."

"Veritaserum, huh? I've got nothing to hide from you lot," Sirius said with a reflexive smirk, shooting Snape a mocking look as he uncorked the potion bottle and downed it in one gulp.

The very next second, he collapsed almost instantly onto the grass, clutching his chest and convulsing uncontrollably.

"Oh dear… my sincerest apologies. I seem to have grabbed the wrong vial," Snape said, utterly without remorse. "But really, this is your fault, Sirius Black. You... should... have... said... something... when... the... taste... was... off…"

He crouched slightly, clearly savoring Sirius's misery, and drew out the last part so absurdly slow it felt like he was dragging the moment out on purpose—just to maximize Sirius's suffering.

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