How to Survive as an Uchiha

"Come, try my new tea!"

In the office, Minato was cheerfully fiddling with a full set of tea equipment on the table.

The two Uchiha sat on the sofa and watched the current Hokage's skilled actions.

The Hokage's office life was becoming increasingly colorful. They also noticed camping gear, such as a sleeping bag.

He really has turned this into his second home, Masashi thought, watching the Hokage's movements. He hesitated as if he wanted to say something but didn't.

Fugaku, however, seemed used to it.

"Hokage-sama, this set of equipment looks new." Masashi looked at the pile of items on the tea table.

Before, the table was for paperwork. Now, it was purely for tea.

He curiously picked up a small canister and opened it. He was shocked.

"Hokage-sama?"

"Masashi, don't panic. I've just started learning the tea ceremony. You need to have patience."

"No, wait... Why are there goji berries in here?"

"Oh, I heard it's good for the body and eyesight. It's very nice, Masashi. I'll put some extra for you later."

"No need, Hokage-sama. I like my tea pure."

"Huh? You don't like it?" Minato's hands didn't stop as he looked at Masashi. "This was specially prepared by Kushina. She's worried I'll get too tired working overtime."

As he spoke, a look of happiness appeared on his face. The man can face S-rank threats without flinching, but mention his wife and he melts, Masashi observed.

He thought that Kushina's intended message was probably not what Minato interpreted.

"Masashi," Fugaku suddenly said, "it's good for you to drink a little. You often stay up late, too."

"No need, Fugaku-sama... Wait, fuck?"

Masashi was shocked to see him grabbing a large handful of goji berries and throwing them into his cup.

"You're already a jonin. Don't swear so casually." Fugaku criticized him while shaking the canister. "You're still young now, but you'll appreciate this in the future. This is a special supply from the daimyō's residence. It's not something ordinary people can buy."

"Oh? A gift from the daimyō?"

The daimyō's warm care seemed rather extensive—even concerned about the Hokage's quality of overtime work.

"How could it be? Mikoto sourced it through special channels. Our two families split the supply."

"I see. That's just like her…"

"Hokage-sama, Fugaku-sama, aren't we supposed to be having a meeting?" Masashi tried to steer the conversation back to business.

"Why the rush? You're now an important figure in Konoha. You need to stay calm."

You're getting cocky, Fugaku! Do you think I won't spot the hidden words just because you change locations?

"Yes, Masashi. There's no need to hurry. Everything's already happened... Oh, it's ready!" Minato happily lifted the kettle and poured water.

The gurgling sound of water echoed as a layer of bright red goji berries floated in Minato and Fugaku's teacups.

Masashi felt as if he could see a darkened land soaked in blood. Not just the land—even the grass had turned black.

Minato and Fugaku wore satisfied expressions that Masashi couldn't bear to look at directly.

Averting his gaze, he picked up his cup silently, blowing on his plain tea and embracing the principle that "what the eyes don't see won't bother the heart."

The room was filled with the harmonious sound of tea being slurped.

The three cups were placed back on the table.

"Let's discuss the situation with Kiri this time," Minato started.

"Alright, let me explain. This happened very suddenly." Fugaku pulled out a stack of documents. "After Masashi returned last time, following the Third Hokage and the elders' orders, the village sent emissaries to renew the treaty, using Fuguki's death as the reason. They also tried to make contact with the Kiri clans, but it was ineffective."

"I know about this." Minato nodded. "The emissaries didn't have much success. While the Mizukage's office was quick to agree to renew the treaty, there was no progress in contacting the clans."

"Kiri's clans only respect the strong. An emissary's personal strength determines the outcome of the discussions." Fugaku's tone was steady. "But the emissaries we sent before did not have enough strength."

"The village sent a jonin, though." Minato sighed. "We still don't understand Kiri well enough."

"To put it bluntly," Fugaku held up two fingers. "There are only two people in Konoha currently capable of handling this task and leaving the village: Masashi and Shisui."

"The situation is also complicated because this year's treaty renewal hasn't been conducted, and there's been an assassination attempt on the Mizukage. While Obito's identity hasn't been exposed, tensions between the Mizukage's office and the clans are becoming public. Simply renewing the treaty with the Mizukage's office won't guarantee border peace."

"Fugaku, what's your proposed solution?"

"We should act on both fronts. Shisui and Masashi will go together. Shisui will officially act as the envoy to contact the Mizukage's office and try to meet the Mizukage in person. Masashi will act as the assistant envoy to contact the clans."

Fugaku then looked at Masashi. "This mission can only be carried out by you. Shisui's genjutsu and your Flying Thunder God are critical to success."

Masashi nodded but added, "This time, just Shisui and I will go. No one else should be sent."

"Just the two of you?" Minato sipped his tea. "Won't that make things inconvenient?"

"It's easier with fewer people in Kiri. Too many would attract trouble. The civilian ninjas in Kiri have a radical mindset. A large envoy would be seen as a provocation and be met with hostility. The Mizukage's office can't fully control these people."

"That makes sense." Minato realized, his expression showing he was already thinking several steps ahead.

During Konoha's first treaty renewal, their envoy had clashed with the Kiri ninjas at their hotel. At first, they thought it was orchestrated by the Mizukage or some clans, but later, they found that wasn't the case.

"One more question—what if you and Shisui still encounter conflicts with Kiri ninjas?"

"Then we kill them. It sounds extreme, but the truth is, killing is the only way to resolve it." Masashi replied with characteristic directness. "Those who act that way are a minority among civilian ninjas, and even their own will reject them. As long as we are stronger, they will back down. In Kiri, strength isn't just respected —it's the only language they truly understand."

"I understand, Masashi." Minato refilled his tea. "But what if the situation escalates intentionally?"

"That's where we'll need your permission," Masashi looked at Minato expectantly. "Allow us to judge for ourselves whether to demand answers directly from the Mizukage's office. If the Mizukage's control is exposed, the Kiri clans will have no choice but to take action. Regardless of the outcome, Kiri will definitely align with Konoha."

"Alright, agreed. Let's do as you say." Minato slapped his thigh.

Compared to the elders' previous suggestions, Masashi's plan was more to his liking.

"Hokage-sama, aren't you forgetting something?" Masashi reminded him.

"Huh? What did I forget? Am I this careless now? Tell me."

"Zabuza—the person Kiri wants to capture."

"Oh, Zabuza, right." Minato recalled and then frowned. "Why does that concern Konoha? Let them catch him themselves."

"So we're not allowing Kiri to cross through the Land of Fire?"

"Of course not." Minato shook his head firmly. "Kiri ninjas can't just waltz into the Land of Fire. If they want to catch Zabuza, they can wait until he leaves."

"Got it. I have no further questions." Masashi nodded, giving him a silent thumbs-up in his heart.

Minato was proving to be a true Hokage.

---

Early the next morning after returning to the village, Masashi had just stepped out of his house when he saw an ANBU ninja crouched at his doorstep. 

"Masashi." The ANBU ninja handed over a sealed waterproof document bag. "The village has officially submitted a visit request to Kiri. This is a personal letter from the Hokage to the Mizukage. Please take care of it."

"Got it." Masashi accepted the bag. "Did the Fourth Hokage give any further instructions?"

"The Hokage said that you and Shisui can decide the departure time yourselves. The visit request only specifies it will be this month."

"Alright, understood." Masashi waved him off and decided to find Shisui immediately.

Suddenly, he remembered something. 

"Kakashi, wait a moment."

Kakashi, who was just about to use the Body Flicker, nearly stumbled.

He turned around, and although his expression was hidden behind the dog mask, it felt like a wave of grievance was rising.

"Masashi, I'm still on duty. You shouldn't call me by my name."

"Don't blame me. Everyone can recognize you." Masashi pointed to Kakashi's overly eye-catching white hair. "You even put gel in it? You think people are blind?"

"Would you not recognize me if I dyed my hair?"

"Now you're just making it difficult for me. You're the only one in the village wearing a dog mask. Can you change your chakra signature?"

Kakashi stopped talking, his shoulders slumping slightly.

"Look at you, still mad. But this is a good thing. Wait here a moment." Masashi ran back into the house, grabbed something he'd received after work yesterday, and hurried back to the door.

Kakashi, being the obedient child he was, hadn't left.

"Here, I got this for you." Masashi handed him Icha Icha Volume 2.

Even through the mask, Masashi could see Kakashi's stunned expression. The young ANBU's hands trembled slightly as he reached for the book.

"Masashi-sama! Where did this come from?"

"Jiraiya promised me he'd send me a set before publication. I thought you'd like it, so take it." Better than letting him dwell on darker thoughts.

"Masashi-sama!"

"Yes?"

"Please be careful in Kiri. It's chaotic there right now."

"Got it. You take care on your missions, too."

After this brief exchange, Kakashi left clutching the book like it was treasure.

Watching him hold it so tenderly, Masashi couldn't help but feel emotional.

Jiraiya really was the ultimate Legendary Super Pervert—he had conquered Kakashi so quickly.

At this point, Minato hadn't told Kakashi about Obito's situation. This was something that had been discussed with the others who were in the know.

It was understandable—this news would be far too shocking for Kakashi right now.

The current Kakashi was still a young man prone to overthinking and reading Jiraiya's novels. The "overthinking" part was evident from his reputation in the ANBU, which wasn't great.

His bad reputation came mainly from his disregard for his comrades.

Kakashi's reclusive period hadn't ended yet.

Telling him about Obito at this point could easily break him completely.

Masashi's gaze returned to the document bag in his hand.

Minato was a Hokage who worked at a fast pace, just like in battle.

Not even a day had passed since he'd left the Hokage's office, and the procedures were already done, with the letter to the Mizukage prepared.

He conservatively guessed that the letter had been tampered with.

Back in the Third Hokage's time, this kind of task, outside of wartime, would take several days.

But now, the Konoha administration's motto was, "Everyone stay late with the Hokage today and finish up the work."

With Minato working so efficiently, Masashi wasn't going to delay.

Before leaving, though, he still had two things to take care of.

He knocked on the door of the house across the street, the morning sun now fully warming his back.

After a moment, the door opened, and Pakura stood there in her casual clothes.

"Why are you up so late today?" Pakura asked curiously, leaning against the doorframe. "Did you go out for tea again? What kind of tea keeps you guys out so late? Take me along next time to try it."

"Ah, it's a man thing. Why would I take you?" Masashi waved it off. "Men are like this—after a battle, we have endless things to talk about. Tetsuka throws up every time we're done fighting, and you wouldn't believe how miserably he pukes."

"Oh?" Pakura looked at him doubtfully, sensing there was more to his words.

Masashi immediately decided that she hadn't understood. 

Good. If she didn't get it, she wouldn't know where he'd been drinking tea.

"How strange..." Pakura mumbled, stepping aside. "You're just in time—I'm cooking."

"What about the kids?"

"In the living room."

Masashi followed her inside and immediately saw the three kids in the living room.

Deidara was barefoot, standing on a chair, wiping the dining table with a towel.

"I told him to just sit still, but he insisted on helping." Pakura said, then shouted to Deidara, "Just wipe it casually! Call Kurotsuchi to come eat."

"Okay." Deidara looked up, spotted Masashi, froze for a moment, then hopped off the chair, wiped it with the towel, and dashed into the living room.

"He's quite mature." Pakura glanced at Masashi. "No wonder he's the Tsuchikage's disciple. But is it really okay to leave him here with me?"

"This was also the Hokage's intention. He hopes Deidara will have a positive impression of Konoha." Masashi explained. "You know how the Fourth is—so long as it's not wartime, he's very approachable."

"Mm-hmm." Pakura nodded. "Fine. I'll look after the two Iwa kids. You take the girl with you. She's not as lively as Kurotsuchi."

"Of course she isn't." Masashi sighed.

In the living room, on the sofa, Kurotsuchi held Deidara's hand with one hand and the hand of the girl Masashi had brought back from Kusa with the other. 

The girl was about the same age as Sasuke and Naruto.

Honestly, Masashi wasn't sure if this was the same Karin, but he was certain the girl was of Uzumaki blood.

When he found her mother in the hospital, she was already near death. Before passing, she entrusted her three-year-old daughter to him, telling him her name was Karin.

"Deidara-nii, why isn't Karin eating with us?"

"Because someone's coming to pick her up." Deidara pouted, trying to sound mature. "Stop causing trouble, okay? We're not at home."

At that, Kurotsuchi quickly let go and hid behind Deidara upon spotting Masashi, her small hands clutching his shirt.

Perhaps she felt guilty for hiding alone, so she dragged Karin with her behind Deidara, using him as their shield. Deidara stood awkwardly as the two girls peeked out from behind him.

Karin curiously grabbed Deidara's arm alongside Kurotsuchi.

Masashi looked at Deidara.

The "mature" kid didn't look mature at all now, his face saying, "What did I even do wrong?"

"Karin." Masashi beckoned to the girl, keeping his voice gentle. "Come here."

The girl named Karin looked blankly at Masashi.

She still remembered him.

As a descendant of the Uzumaki clan with ninja talent, she already remembered many things, including her mother.

She had no memory of her father.

But she knew Masashi in front of her was a good person. So, she let go of their hands and walked over to him, reaching out her small hand.

Masashi took her hand, patted her head, and said, "Good girl."

Then he used the Flying Thunder God.

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First bonus chapter reached!

193/300 reached for bonus chapter.

[email protected]/Malphegor

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