How To Ruin A Love Comedy

Continued from Drunken TL’s TL of the first 2 chapters.

“Who did you fight this time?”

The attractive school nurse asked.

Even through her gown you could see her large breasts.

It’s big enough to tighten the shirt. I want a paizuri.

“I was fighting a villain who was disrupting society.”

“That’s not funny at all. Tell me what happened before I tell the professor.”

“Ask Hanazawa”

“Hanazawa knows? Who you fought?”

“Yes. She saw it directly.”

“That’s weird… Hanazawa would immediately run and tell the professor you were fighting with someone. Why haven’t I heard anything about it?”

“Doesn’t the fact that he didn’t fight back prove I was fighting a bad guy? Look over here. There is no one here that was hit by me.”

“I’ll just say you’re right”

I feel this every time, but my reputation here is too nasty.

At this rate I may get a expulsion from the school.

Matsuda Ken you dumbass… At least don’t mess with the professors.

Despite the fact that I was the one whom everyone hates, the nurse still treated my right hand properly, perhaps due to a sense of duty.

I, who was looking at my heavily bandaged hand, looked up when the nurse started speaking.

“You know that if you drink of smoke the recovery period is longer right? Avoid doing it if you can.”

“I won’t.”

“I meant even outside the academy. I saw you and your friends smoke as you drink in a bar. Even though the school rules don’t apply outside of it…”

“If I want to heal faster lay off for a while right?”

“That’s correct.”

“Thank you very much.”

“…? Did you just say thank you?”

The nurse showed her surprise with her wide open eyes.

Grinning, I wordlessly raised one hand and then left the nurses’ office.

You could say the situation ended nicely… But some finishing touches were left.

When Tetsuya experienced this event, not many people had much to say, either inside or outside the academy.

The pervert was dealt with rather passively, along with the fact that Tetsuya’s image within the academy being good.

However, this won’t be the case for me.

I made the bastard’s face into a bloody mess.

I think the pervert is going to be out to get back at me one way or another…

I was thinking about this and that while walking in the halls when,

“Matsuda kun!”

I lifted the corners of my mouth when I heard the urgent voice of Miyuki coming from behind.

I asked as I turnt my body.

“What now?”

“Th-The headmaster told me to bring Matsuda-kun to his office… That pervert reported Matsuda-kun!”

I expected something like this to happen.

I made an annoyed face as I spoke.

“Just leave it be.”

“What…? Are you insane? Do you know how big of a deal this is…? A-Anyways let’s go quickly.”

Miyuki was grabbing at my clothes and made a fuss.

I would have liked her to at least grab my wrists. That’s too bad.

Smacking my lips as if I was disappointed, I showed heavy reluctance as I went with Miyuki to the headmaster’s office.

**

“That person was a pervert… He’s a sleazy man who groped my thighs… Matsuda-kun helped me… I already told you this…!”

Miyuki was feverishly trying to defend me.

Ahhh… This is why I didn’t want to miss this event.

It was good to sleep early yesterday.

The 60ish-year-old professor, who was wearing glasses on the bridge of his nose and listening quietly to Miyuki’s words, smiled kindly.

“Don’t worry about it too much. After the police investigated it turned out this person had many past incidents. He was caught being a molestor many times before this. The report won’t go anywhere.”

Miyuki, relieved by this, let out a sigh.

“Re-Really…? Then that’s a relief… But why does Matsuya-kun have to receive a punishment…?”

“He was hitting him way too much. Five of his teeth fell out. A witness told me the situation… You stopped Matsuda-kun right? Don’t you think it was way too extreme level of violence?”

“… Well I did think that…”

“It was at the level where you, the one who was molested, thought that way. What do you think other people thought? They probably thought he was about to kill a person. They will think it’s scary that there is a student like that among us.”

“N-No way…! You are punishing Matsuda-kun to preserve the schools image?”

Miyuki kept arguing.

I put on a bored expression and stopped Miyuki.

“So what do I have to do?”

“For the next 15 days, clean up the 1st years’ bathrooms. For you who’s always causing trouble aren’t you grateful that it’s just cleaning duty? This wasn’t meant to be the case but the police found the criminal they were looking for, and you saved Hanazawa-chan, who is from this academy, so I am giving you a lighter punishment.”

In 15 days it’s break right?

I don’t really want to smell shit and clean toilets until then… But there I can’t do much about it.

As the professor said, I was let off rather lightly.

I nodded then asked a question.

“The report won’t be a problem for sure?”

“I guarantee it.”

“Then I’m fine.”

“As I warned you before, if you don’t carry out your punishments or skip class during your punishment, you are out. Even if your intentions were good… It was too violent. you are in a very dangerous spot. You understand your situation at the academy right?”

“I get the gist. I’m going to leave. Take care.”

I shrugged and then left the office.

Miyuki immediately followed me and yelled at me.

“Matsuda-kun! Wait up!”

“Can you stop screaming? It’s hurting my ears.”

Upon hearing this, Miyuki’s body slumped.

She was going to complain, but she stopped and took deep breaths.

She was rather quick to stabilize.

She succeeded to calm herself and spoke calmly.

“You know what being out means right? If you skip once you are expelled from school.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you agree to do it? Are you gonna force upon our classmates to do it for you?”

It would be fun to make Tetsuya do it.

“You think I will cut class for sure don’t you?”

“… Yes. Since you did it often.”

“Huh… Since it’s the truth I will let it slide. However…”

As I gave her a scrutinizing look with hazy eyes, she took a half step back.

“Wh-What is it? That look? It’s repulsive..”

“Wouldn’t you be happy if I got expelled? I don’t wanna see you so delighted that you give a standing ovation…”

“… Who said I’ll be delighted…”

“No? You were impatient to see me go”

“N-Not as far as impatient… I wish you didn’t overthink it…”

“But you did want me to be expelled”

“…H-Honestly I did think that way…”

Can’t you at least tell a white lie in this situation? I’m hurt.

“Did think that way?”

“Not anymore… This situation is too unfair… So for the next 15 days please come to school everyday… Don’t skip classes… Then the professors might look at you in a better light… You also want to graduate from this academy.”

“I do? Does it look that way to you?”

“Matsuda-kun, if someone is worrying about you like this stop smirking and at least pretend to be listening.”

Miyuki suddenly put on a serious face.

Let’s step back for now.

I, who was keeping my mouth shut, replied as if defeated by Miyuki’s forceful attitude.

“Alright.”

Would she be surprised by me listening to her when I’ve been nothing but rebellious?

Miyuki’s big eyes doubled in size.

“Really”

“Sure”

“You aren’t lying because you’re tired of hearing my nagging right?”

I had no plans to skip school in the first place.

“No. I will come to school consistently. Is that all?”

“…The unnecessarily comments are suspicious… However… I’ll believe in you.”

Do you know how motivating that one sentence is?

Now my desire to take her from Tetsuya with all my might grows even stronger.

Lets just clean shit consistently for 15 days.

So that Miyuki can look at me and think “maybe rehabilitation is possible…?”

**

As soon as the final class ended, I slammed the classroom door and left.

I made sure to give one last look at Miyuki to make it look as if I was going to run away to anyone watching.

I went to the men’s bathroom located at the end of the hall and saw a group of first-year students who were huddled together, peeling Nogari fish. I walked over to them and spoke in a low voice. (Nogari is a fish snack)

“All of you get lost. I have to go clean so hang out in the room across the hall or something.”

“S-sorry… We’ll leave rig… Huh…? Clean?”

Their ears prick up as if they heard wrong.

I put on an annoyed expression and grabbed a hose from the janitor’s closet.

Starting today, if the toilet ever gets clogged, I will find and bisect all of you.

“…”

“If you think I’m kidding come try me.”

“Wh-What if it wasn’t us that clogged it?”

“I’ll still kill you guys. So go tell people to keep this bathroom clean if you don’t want to die. A bathroom should be used cleanly. So that the next person who uses it doesn’t feel disgusted. Did you guys wash your hands?”

“…Huh…? Yea…? What did you say…?”

“Just get lost quickly.”

After kicking out the confused boys, I put the hose in the faucet and started washing the urinals.

After that, I grabbed a mop and and as I was cleaning the bathroom floor earnestly,

“…You’re doing quite well?”

I heard Miyuki’s voice from behind.

I believed in you, Miyuki. I knew you would come.

That’s why I acted like that before I left the classroom.

I spoke without even turning around.

“Are you here to observe me?”

“Just cause… You acted like you would run away…”

“I keep my promises.”

“…That’s a relief… But Matsuda-kun, shouldn’t you do the mopping last?”

“Is that so?”

“That’s normally the case?”

“Then what… Should I clean the toilets first?”

“Yeah. I think that would be correct.”

I decided to take Miyuki’s advice and took out a plunger.

“You do know this is the male bathroom right?”

“I know. There isn’t anyone here.”

“Stop disrupting me and just leave.”

“I’ll watch Matsuda-kun for today. I need to make sure you clean everything properly.”

Miura will be anxiously waiting won’t he? Don’t you normally go home together?

“Normally we do… But I should check as the class president… And I also owe you one for today…”

“So you’re thankful? Then clean for me instead.”

Instead of responding, Miyuki just crossed her arms.

Absolute refusal.

I burst out laughing, and walked to the furthest corner of the bathroom.

After seeing the dog like filth make it’s grand entrance, I screamed in anger.

“AH FUCK!!”

This wasn’t an act, but my genuine feelings.

Why didn’t they flush? These spoiled sons of bitches.

I’m gonna find this bitch and actually kill him.

I barely managed to push the handle down and, having lost all my pride, I stumbled out of the room.

“Dirty sons of bitches…”

And then, Miyuki laughed and covered her mouth with her hand, as if she found my behaviour funny.

After doing that for a while, she turned around and asked.

“Are you going to be able to finish it by today?”

“Why don’t take a closer look. See if you can still say that to me afterwards.”

“I don’t want to. And to a person… *sigh*… You can’t talk like that. Don’t you think it’s too much?”

“It’s the bastard’s fault for shitting for generously… Ah… Fuck… I’m like a beggar.”

“Don’t swear so much. It makes you look cheap.”

Sure. If you tell me one more time later on I’ll put on an effort to fix it.

After putting on an act of digging out my ear, I grabbed tissues to plug my nose with and went into the next stall.

A tightly closed toilet cover. It somehow makes me feel uneasy.

To think I have to do this for 15 days… The path ahead of me is already covered in darkness.

Atleast today I have Miyuki… I should stop complaining and work hard.

To rescue Miyuki from Tetsuya, I’ll have to build up a good image.