How To Ruin A Love Comedy

***

After Miyuki walked through the hospital entrance that couldn’t be described as big, she had a light conversation with the nurse and wrote something down on an application.

She gave it to me when I walked closer to her.

“Matsuda-kun has to write the rest. Or do you want to just say it? I can write it for you.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like my fingers are broken…”

I disinterestedly took the application, and barely held back laughter when I read what Miyuki wrote on it.

[Guardian: Hanazawa Miyuki]

[Phone Number: 080 – xxxx -xxxx]

I really like the word “guardian”.

I also really love that Miyuki wrote her name without any hesitation.

I grabbed a pen and wrote down my information, then spoke bluntly when Miyuki stared at the application like she was gonna burn a hole through it.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing… Just that your writing is even worse than I imagined…”

“… If I go to calligraphy school will that fix it?”

“If you’re going to go to a school shouldn’t you go to a handwriting correction school instead..? Well, you can fix hand writing by practising hard to write neatly… So you don’t really need to.”

“So serious about everything… I’m gonna die of exhaustion.”

“Do you find my personality tiring?”

“Very.”

I answered casually as I finished up the application and handed it over to the nurse.

She looked at the wounds on my face and clicked her tongue, then looked at my application carefully and pointed towards a corner.

“Go and wait there.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

We sat on the corner and conversed as we waited for my name to be called.

“Matsuda-kun, did you see the look the nurse was giving you?”

“I saw it.”

“Doesn’t it make you angry?”

“Not really?”

“Why?”

“If you care about little stuff like that it gets annoying.”

As if she liked my answer, the corners of her mouth lifted.

“Matsuda-kun of the past would have asked why she was giving him that look…”

“You seem to know me well? Were you actually interested in me for a long time?”

“Th-that’s nonsense…!”

Miyuki raised her voice as she freaked out.

Thanks to her, we got the attention of the other patients in the waiting room.

“People are looking. Speak quietly.”

“Ah…”

Miyuki realized her own mistake and bowed to the people around her with a flustered expression.

Then, she frowned as she glared at me.

“This happened because Matsuda-kun made a weird joke…!”

“It’s not that you overreacted? Stop avoiding blame. Also, I’m a little bit hurt.”

“What do you mean you’re hurt all of a sudden…”

“If you had no interest in me, you should have just ignored it. Did you have to get that mad about it?”

“Wh-what are you saying… It’s just because you said something that made no sense…”

Did it really make no sense? That’s not it.

It’s because you are slowly beginning to see me as a man.

Even if you still have a mostly negative image of me.

“Matsuda Ken-nim, we’ll begin by taking a CT scan.”

I heard the pleasant and clear voice of the nurse.

“I’ll be waiting. Tell me before you are going to enter the doctor’s office”

“Alright.”

**

After consulting with an old looking doctor, I was diagnosed with with light concussion and bruising.

For concussion I just had to rest for a while, and for bruising… Since my body is healthy it’ll heal quickly.

My rib that was hurting had no problems, which was very fortunate.

The conversation was going well, but then an incident occurred.

“I’ll prescribe you some pain killers, so take it when you get a headache. Do you live together with your girlfriend?”

The doctor thought Miyuki was my girlfriend.

I predicted that Miyuki was going to have an even more extreme reaction than when she was out waiting with me.

However,

“No. We live separately. He lives alone.”

Miyuki kept a calm expression and replied to the doctor’s question.

At the response I would have never expected, I could only sit on the chair, astonished.

Miyuki looked over at me and grinned as she continued her conversation with the doctor.

“Is that so? Then you should keep a close eye on him for the next couple days. If he falls down or shows signs of getting dizzy it could be dangerous.”

“Yes sir”

“And rookie, you should stop going around and fighting. Did you want to show off in front of your pretty girlfriend? Do you want to die earlier than me?”

I spoke, regaining my composure at the nosy doctor’s criticism.

“Yes? Oh. I wasn’t showing off or anything like that… But sir, how come you speak to her so kindly but speak to me in a threatening tone?”

“Because it’s pitiful you punk.”

Is this the eccentric, elderly doctor with a bad personality that you see in battle or sports fiction that tell off the main character for not taking good care of his body?

Let’s just stop arguing with him.

“Ha.. I understand so give me my prescription.”

“This disrespectful punk… For a couple days avoid having sex and just rest up. You can still do some light everyday stuff.”

At the words the doctor spat out, Miyuki’s face went red immediately.

Because she realized he was talking about a sexual relationship.

(TL note: sorry if this part doesn’t make too much sense. In Korean the word for ‘relationship’ also mean ‘sex’ so I was unsure how to tl it.)

I quickly changed my opinion of the doctor.

Now that I got to know him, he was a likeable minor character that helps out the main character.

He was not a grumpy old person, but actually a kind high-ranking angel.

We left after receiving the prescription, and did not speak at all as we walked into the pharmacy next door and purchased a painkiller.

Now that it’s beginning to get dark, the wind was refreshing.

Maybe Miyuki was thinking the same thing, as she lightly stretched.

Afterwards, she whipped her head around and stared at me.

“Matsuda-kun, you realize that if it weren’t for me you might have been in big trouble right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“If you didn’t know that it was a concussion, you could have been running around having fun and then been in a different accident. So you should be thanking me.”

“Yeah… You are awesome. But what was that?”

“What?”

“When we were sitting you were making a fuss about me even saying you were interested in me, but when the doctor…”

“Doctor-nim.”

“… Sure, why did you just ignore doctor-nim’s misunderstanding?”

“I thought there wasn’t really a point in correcting him. It would have just made the conversation longer.”

Even if that was the case, knowing Miyuki’s personality, she would have denied it profusely if she really had no interest in me.

She reacted very sensitively to asking if she was interested in me, and smoothly glossed over the doctor’s misunderstanding.

To conclusion, today’s gain was substantial, and even included a bonus.

Does this mean it’s the right timing to mess around?

“Is that so…?”

I trailed off the end of the sentence and smiled like a prankster.

“Wha, why are you making that face…?”

“It’s too bad.”

“What is?”

“The doctor-nim said so. That we can’t have sex for the next couple days.”

“Ma-Matsuda-kun!”

Miyuki’s face went beet red just like before as she screamed.

She looked at me as I laughed, then shook her head as if she gave up.

“Haaah… I think Matsuda-kun is making fun of me because I keep reacting.”

“That’s right. Normally you want to mess with people more if they have fun reactions.”

At those words, Miyuki giggled.

“I agree. I also want to make fun of Matsuda-kun sometimes.”

“Well, I admit it is fun to bully me. That’s why I was beat up like this.”

As I pointed to my swollen face, Miyuki scoffed.

“You’re very positive.”

“Thanks. So, are we going to study tomorrow?”

“Yeah…”

Miyuki thought for a moment before speaking.

“Doctor-nim said to keep a close eye for a couple days… So probably? But since it’ll be using your brain, let’s look at your condition as we do it.”

“Alright.”

“I’m going to go back home now.”

When I searched my pockets I found three folded up dollar bills.

3000 yen. I unfolded the money and laid it in front of Miyuki.

“Grab a taxi.”

“Wha… Nah. I’m not busy so I can just ride the bus.”

“Just take it and use it on the taxi.”

“I said I’m fine. Also, if I take a taxi from here to my house, it won’t even cost 1000 yen. It’s also expensive…”

“Then let’s do it like this. I was going to ride a taxi, but you happened to go home at that time? The kind hearted me decided to take you with me. We’ll first go to my house, then tell the driver to drive you home. I’ll pay. Why? Because I was gonna ride a taxi anyways.”

At the scenario I just made up on the spot, Miyuki’s mouth opened slightly.

I laughed weakly and began walking quickly as I spoke.

“Let’s go.”

“Ma-Matsuda-kun…! You can’t walk that fast…!”

Miyuki quickly followed behind and grabbed one arm.

No matter how many times I think about it, Miyuki is just too nice.

I want to fuck her already…

So let’s quickly plan the next event.

Even if it’s in a couple days, the more time I have to plan, the better.

@@

Beep! Vroooooom!

The fan spun quickly as soon as the button was pressed.

After getting out the shower, Miyuki sat in front the fan to cool off.

Even though she showered with cold water it was still hot.

It would be nice to have ac in the house, but it was quite unfortunate that they didn’t.

Miyuki closed her eyes as she felt the wind, wanting to be at Matsuda’s house.

‘Matsuda-kun’s house is so cool.’

Unlike her or Tetsuya’s house, it has ac and since it was built like a tradition house, the ventilation flows well.

Eating watermelons and melons on the tatami made it easy to avoid the heat.

Since they said tomorrow will be even hotter, it might be better to leave earlier than usual to escape the high temperature.

Miyuki thought about it as she turned her phone on and opened the chatting app.

[Matsuda-kun, thanks for the taxi.]

Although she sent it as soon as she got home, there was no reply from Matsuda even after she came out of the shower.

She was getting worried that there was something wrong with his body and was going to send another message,

[OK.]

She received a text from Matsuda.

An arrogant reply. She could feel him showing off.

She laughed lightly and moved her fingers.

[Could I get there early tomorrow?]

[When.]

[Around 8? I want to get there before it gets too hot.]

[Do you really want to see me that badly? Sure, you can come early.]

Even when he’s giving permission, he adds unnecessary comments.

Miyuki shook her head and texted.

[So I take that as giving permission?]

[Whatever.]

[Can’t you answer nicely?]

[What can I do when my way of speaking is like this?]

[That’s when you speak, not when you text.]

[You’re going to nag me here too? It’s gonna appear in my dreams at this point.]

Miyuki laughed out loud to herself after reading the message.

Matsuda who covers his ears and acts like he’s in pain when I lecture him.

Thinking of that imagery was funny to her.

[Then I’ll be there by 8?]

[Whatever.]

[Matsuda-kun.]

[Please stop it. I can hear your low voice.]

There was something was fun whenever she talked with Matsuda.

Was it fun to bully him, just as Matsuda said himself earlier?

So that might be why she wanted to keep making fun of him, and continue conversing.

However, she decided to end it here for today.

If this continued, he might get annoyed for real.

[Alright, I’ll stop. Have a good sleep, and see you tomorrow Matsuda-kun.]

[Whatever.]

When he’s acting like this, she wanted to mess with him again.

Barely holding back her urges, she sent an emoticon with a clenched fist in anger and finished her conversation with Matsuda.

‘Ah, right.’

She completely forgot to talk to Tetsuya.

She said she was going to text him but didn’t for a really long time… She felt very apologetic.

Feeling guilty, she started sending Tetsuya messages right away.

***

[TL Note: This chapter had a bit too much ‘word play’ for my liking. I hope it feels natural to read.]