How The Sub-Male Lead’s Stepmother Teaches Love

I don’t know exactly what kind of room this was, but the servants cleaned the empty rooms once a week, so there wasn’t any dust on the furniture. The drawer near the window was the same, and Leonhard checked that the top was clean before putting me down on top of it.

 

The sturdy wooden chest of drawers didn’t seem like it would collapse even if I used it as a chair. After confirming that fact, I finally felt relieved and faced Leonhard with my body barely able to relax.

 

I was thinking of snapping at him to stop treating people like objects.

 

“Hah….”

 

“What is it, Madam?”

 

“I thought you were really handsome.”

 

The moonlight streaming in through the window behind me was gently drifting around him.

 

The blonde hair buried in the darkness was darker than usual, but because of that, the part exposed under the moonlight shone even more beautifully.

 

“Really…I let you go because you were handsome.”

 

“Hearing that makes me think I should continue to be handsome.” 

 

“My goodness, how much longer are you going to disobey me?”

 

Even though I pulled at his left cheek, Leonhard just smiled warmly. It was a smile that reminded me of a puppy with lots of fur.

 

“You don’t have to worry too much. I won’t do anything that my wife really hates.”

 

“Oh my god. When I just said no, who was it that said ‘I don’t like it either’?”

 

“Did you really hate it…?”

 

“No, then I guess I would have said no even though I didn’t hate it….” 

 

Leonhard’s face was dyed in a gloomy light. In the harmonious mixture of darkness and moonlight, the pitiful face of the handsome man was devastating.

 

‘Where did this guy learn to be handsome and why does he keep using his good looks for other things?’

 

After opening and closing my mouth several times, I finally gave up.

 

“Surely, I think you are really handsome.” 

 

“Yes. I will continue to be handsome in the future.”

 

And then he smiles brightly.

 

I let him because he was really handsome. If he was acting like this when he’s ugly, I would’ve kicked him out a long time ago.

 

He wrapped his hand around mine and rubbed his cheek against my palm as if he wanted to be stroked.

 

Then, he lowered his head, buried his lips deep in the palm of my hand, and then opened his eyes languidly and looked up at me.

 

“Raenel.”

 

“Yes yes?”

 

The feel of his lips on my palm tickled the inside of my palm.

 

No, not just the inside of my palm, but the inside of my forearms and armpits. They tickled deeper than that.

 

I swallowed dry saliva helplessly and tried to take my hand away from his face.

 

But as soon as my hand slipped slightly from his cheek, it was caught in his hand again, and the long fingers were intertwined with each other like vines entwined inside the five fingers.

 

“Today…Thank you so much.” 

 

“What? For what?”

 

“Something like how lucky I am that you’re my wife.” 

 

His long eyelashes cast shadows beneath his lowered eyelids, and his blue eyes were wet with deep sorrow.

 

Then, as it seemed like he might cry at any moment, I quickly lifted his cheek with one hand.

 

The face that met me like that seemed sad and also seemed to be filled with deep regret.

 

‘What happened in Hiyela?’

 

I stretched out my thumb and touched the corner of his mouth for no reason, then opened my mouth as if I knew nothing.

 

“What do you have to thank me for? You took care of everything that happened today. I just passed out and lay in the bedroom.”

 

“Didn’t you say that we were family? If it wasn’t for you, I would have…”

 

Leonhard, whose words trailed off, lowered his eyes as if lost in thought.

 

The soft moonlight cast shadows on his face through his lowered eyelashes. In the shadows that swallowed his expression, he continued to mutter.

 

“As I said before, I thought that fulfilling my duty as Ajas was my top priority. In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to say that I proposed to you for that reason.”

 

At those honest words, my insides felt like they had been stabbed by an awl. 

 

‘It’s not like I didn’t know…’ 

 

I couldn’t hide the emotions welling up in my chest, so I just lowered my eyes.

 

While I was trying to console myself by suppressing the feeling of wanting to cry a little, Leonhard continued to speak.

 

“Probably before…If I had taken another woman as my wife, I might have left all the work I had to do as a father to her and just pursued my duties and responsibilities as a Marquis.”

 

“Ah…”

 

What came to mind when he spoke was ‘Leonhard’ from the book I had read. In reality, he married ‘Raenel’ and did not fulfill his duties as a father. 

 

He spent half of the year in Hiyela, and the other half traveling to inspect his estates. He only spent two or three months a year at Ajas’ Castle.

 

So he only found out that Noah was abused after the child was kicked over the Hiyela gate.

 

“I won’t do that anymore. Thanks to you, I’ve learned that my responsibilities as a father are just as important as my duties as Ajas.”

 

But now, he was acting very differently from the ‘Leonhard’ in the book.

 

‘Is it because I’m different from the Raenel in the book that he changed too?’ 

 

My heart was pounding pleasantly. I felt a little excited. I tried not to show my feelings, so I kept my face tense and cleared my voice. 

 

“When you say that, I think my nagging had some effect.” 

 

“How can you call it nagging, when you woke me up from my obliviousness to my duty.”

 

Once again, there was kindness in her eyes. No, in a way, it was almost like affection for me.

 

Whatever the exact emotion contained in those eyes, it was clear that it was a warm temperature, so I smiled without realizing it. My chest tingled with excitement as if a soap bubble had popped.

 

“I’m sure you’ve reflected on it. Well, you did really well today. Noah must have narrowed the gap between you and him.”

 

“I doubt it…”

 

A bitter smile appeared on Leonhard’s lips. I didn’t know why, so I just opened my eyes wide.

 

“Why do you look like that? Did you and Noah get into a fight while I was gone?”

 

“Fight…How could I possibly be qualified to do that when I didn’t even know how a child would grow up?”

 

“No, what qualifications do you need to fight? What is that?” 

 

“That’s right. What is that, in the five years I’ve been raising him, I’ve never fought with him, and not only that, but I haven’t even given him trust.”

 

A gloom spread across Leonhard’s face like rain, as if he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled warmly at me.

 

‘It seems like something happened between them. What the heck happened?’

 

I thought it would be a good idea to ask Noah what happened with his father.

 

I felt like I needed to comfort the man in front of me rather than Noah, who was not there, so I gently patted his back.

 

“It’s okay. It’s not too late for you to recognize the problem, regret what happened, and reflect on it.”

 

“It’s not too late… Do you really think so? In fact, isn’t it possible that I was never qualified to be a father in the first place?”

 

“How many people in the world are qualified to be parents? What are the qualifications in the first place? What do you think is the most important thing for raising a child?”

 

“Money and the environment, a nanny to take care of the child, and a teacher to teach the child.…” 

 

Leonhard smiled weakly as he looked at my wide-open eyes. It seemed as if he now knew that was the wrong answer.

 

“I used to think so.” 

 

“And now?”

 

“Love, I guess.”

 

“Then what is that love?”

 

“Yes?”

 

I asked Leonhard again, whose eyes opened wide as if he had been asked an unexpected question.

 

“What do you think love is?” 

 

“…..”

 

He frowned as if he had been asked the most difficult question in the world. The deep wrinkles between his eyebrows showed how frustrated he was that he couldn’t come up with an answer right away.

 

It was a question that had no answer in the first place. Whatever he said could have been the answer. But the fact that he was suffering and worrying like this was truly heartbreaking.

 

I hugged his neck, which made me cry loudly, recalling the childhood memories I had heard from him. 

 

Then I pulled his body towards me and made his upper body lean towards me.

 

“Don’t overthink it. You had someone you loved too. What did you want from them?”

 

“Someone I love….”

 

A clear light settled in his eyes, which had been wavering in confusion.

 

His blue eyes, dark as a night sea with a lighthouse lighting the way, stared straight into mine.

 

Then his hand cupped my cheek, and his forehead touched mine as if he was going to kiss me.

 

In that state, he whispered to me, still looking into my eyes, “I want her to love me.”

 

The low, hoarse voice sounded like it was whispering in my ear. No, more accurately, it sounded like it was talking to me.

 

‘That can’t be true.’

 

I stared blankly into the blue eyes in front of me, then reacted belatedly.

 

“So…What kind of love do you want? What do you want from that person?”

 

The warmth of the hand that covered my cheek and the forehead that touched my forehead were so warm that it was like fire. 

 

The heat took over my face in an instant, and soon my eyes were burning. Somehow, I thought it was because of the eyes that were meeting my eyes, so I looked away for no reason, but he moved his head and followed my gaze to the corner.

 

“I hope she will continue to stay by my side.”

 

The blue eyes that finally caught my eye felt strangely red. I was so absorbed in it that I ended up answering a beat late.

 

“And then…?”

 

“Warmth….I hope to share even a small amount of warmth. I hope she smiles when our eyes meet….I want a special affection that is not granted to others. Even if I am in a place where I cannot hear it, I want my name to be on that person’s lips over and over again, and I want my existence to be felt by that person, and I want to be the one who means something irreplaceable to that person.”

 

His voice was calm, but I could feel the boiling heat deep inside. My ears burned as I contemplated the love he yearned for.

 

His blue eyes flashed with a brilliance that pierced my insides. 

 

I swallowed hard, for what might have been the second time.

 

‘So, you wanted that from your sister…?’ 

 

For a moment, the thought crossed my mind that I could understand why he didn’t get the affection he wanted from his older sister, but I quickly shook my head.

 

How could I say, ‘That doesn’t seem right’ to someone who was saddened by not being loved by his sister?

 * * *