NOVEL WEB 2.3: Empress Bitch of all that is Sarcastic and Snarky
I learned a couple of things the next morning. First, Emily is a very heavy sleeper and very little wakes her up. Which leads me to the second thing I learned; she uses an alarm that could wake the dead in order to rouse her out of her deep slumber.
I shot out of bed when her alarm sounded and I felt panic start to surge from being in a place that wasn’t my bedroom and waking up to a loud noise that I hadn’t heard before. When I saw Emily stir and open her eyes I sat on the edge of the bed next to her.
“Morning gorgeous.”
“Good morning? I just woke to the sounds of an air raid siren going off and all you have to say is good morning?!”
I smirked at her and she stuck out her tongue in response.
“I'm an incredibly heavy sleeper… I have to use something loud and angry or I end up sleeping right through it… I’m sorry for not warning you though…”
“You’re lucky you’re cute. And good in bed. No, scratch that. A goddess in bed.”
“I aim to please, ma’am.”
It was my turn to stick out my tongue at her, and she grinned in response before sitting up and scooting to the edge next to me.
“Why the hell are we awake at 8:45 AM anyways?”
“Well… we’re actually at a college campus, and I’m actually a student here… who happens to have a class at 10:00.”
“Ugh. Really? I would hate to have morning classes… I don’t function before 12:00 pm.”
“At least it's not a 7:00 AM class like Aaron's is. You’re welcome to go back to sleep if you want… I’ll be back around noon if you wanna get a couple more hours of beauty rest, babe. Well… just plain rest for you… cause you’re already stunningly beautiful.”
I rested my head on her shoulder and yawned.
“Nah… Unlike you, I am a very light sleeper. Once I’m up, I’m up.”
“Aww... I’m sorry about the alarm.”
I shook my head and kissed her on the cheek.
“Don’t be. If we’re going to be together I have to get used to you getting up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
Emily blushed and sighed contentedly. She kissed me a few times on various parts of my face before pulling me in for a deep kiss on the lips. She pulled away and stood up. As she stretched I moved quickly to swat her naked ass like I had before, but she had learned my tricks. She grabbed my hand and pulled it to her mouth, before kissing the back of my palm gently and letting it go.
“Good try.”
“Expect it when you least expect it.”
“Bring it on, bitch!”
“That’s Empress Bitch of all that is Sarcastic and Snarky to you, peasant.”
“You’re such a nerd... “
“Yep.”
We both showered quickly and I reluctantly avoided fondling my girlfriend who claimed getting ready for class was more important than a morning quickie. I agreed to disagree and simply enjoyed the steamy water on my skin and Emily’s arms around me. Once we were both dressed she walked me to the cafeteria, never once letting go of my hand the whole way.
After getting into a breakfast line and then subsequently paying for something that resembled a ham & cheese omelet and hash browns, I joined Emily at a crowded table where she was busy chatting about some computer coding thing. Emily stopped in mid-sentence, leaned over, kissed me quickly, and resumed the conversation. I was too stunned to speak for a moment, and I felt my cheeks burn as I blushed. I glared at her for a moment before getting up and moving right next to her chair. I knelt down and kissed her deeply for a few seconds, ignoring the whistles and cheers from the people around us. I pulled away, kissed her forehead, then took my seat again. It was Emily’s turn to blush furiously, and her pale skin was a deep red.
“Are you going to introduce us to this hottie, Em, or do we have to interrogate her ourselves?”
I quickly decided to answer before Emily had a chance to respond.
“I’m her girlfriend. We met playing Holy Damnation and found out we just happen to live really close to each other. I drove down from Aspen to meet her and we’ve fucked like rabbits when we’re not kicking ass in the game.”
I had no idea where the confidence to say things like that to complete strangers had come from, but I enjoyed watching Emily blush even harder than before.
The guy sitting across from me, a stereotypical 'taped-glasses pocket-protector-wielding nerd' grinned at me and leaned in closer. He glanced at Emily, then at me, then back at Emily, before turning back to me and smirking.
“What catalog did she order you from, and do they offer hetero models?”
I laughed loudly and blushed a little before returning his smirk.
“Sorry… I’m a limited edition one of a kind… and I’m only available in the lesbian model.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t preorder you then… cause ordering a lesbian girlfriend is like ordering an iphone charger for my android phone. It’s awesome to have an extra iphone charger, but it does me absolutely no good for charging the phone I actually have.”
“So I’m an iphone charger now?”
“Hmmm… yes. You will be until you tell me your name, anyways.”
“You first.”
“I would say ladies first, but that’s actually misogyny disguised as chivalry. So... My name is Blaine.”
“Nice to meet you Blaine. I’m iphone charger.”
“Wow! What are the odds of that?! The catalog you were ordered from doesn’t list any siblings or identical relatives… does it?”
“Hmmm… let me confer with corporate and I’ll get back to you.”
“Ah… giving me the company line… well played, madam, well played.”
It had been awhile since I had engaged in a continuous stream of back-and-forth playful banter with someone, and I was grinning from ear to ear. Blaine looked like he had a comeback for anything I could come up with, so I held up my hands in defeat.
“I surrender. I’m smart enough to admit when I’ve been bested, and you are certainly one of the best, Blaine.”
“That's what she said. It has been my absolute pleasure, Lady iphone charger.”
“Allie.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Allie. Welcome to Red Pill Coders club’s little corner of the world.”
I cocked my head to the side at the name until I got the Matrix reference.
“All you’re missing is a pair of badass shades and a trenchcoat.”
“Oh, Emily… I am so jealous right now. Any chance I could snag a hair or two so I can clone her?”
The table laughed and Emily shook her head.
“Not a chance in hell, Blaine. She’s all mine.”
“Mmmm… fair enough. So, Allie, how long have you and Emily been dating?”
“Officially? Today makes four days. But given the intensity of the game we play together, it feels like a lot longer.”
“Holy Damnation, right? Hmmm… I’ve heard interesting things about it. The gameplay looks pretty incredible, actually. If I hadn’t spent my money on my custom computer, I would probably have bought an N-Vision when they first released… Oh well… c’est la vie.”
A stocky black guy sitting next to Blaine spoke quietly and we all turned towards him.
“They just opened an N-Vision gaming cafe off of 2nd street. It’s pricey if you pay per day, but the group discounts and monthly passes seem worth it.”
Because the availability of Holy Damnation was limited to select stores authorized to carry adult only (AO) games, I wondered if this gaming place would offer it as an available game.
“Do they offer any AO games? Holy Damnation is definitely for adults only…”
Emily had jumped the gun and was browsing their website, and we all listened intently as she read.
“The cafe is divided into two sections, the first is for any and all to enjoy the choice selection of games available to play. Our Members Only area is restricted to gamers 18 and older due to the content of the games. We offer many payment options to fit your budget, for the occasional gamer we offer by the hour or by the day rates; while the avid gamers can choose our monthly or yearly rates so all you have to worry about is deciding what game to play that day.
We are proud to announce that our Members Only area has added Holy Damnation to its list of available games. Come experience the most anticipated game of the year!”
“Well there ya go. I only have the one class today, so maybe afterwards I’ll swing by and check it out. ”
The others around the table nodded and agreed it sounded like fun.
“I’m not actually a student here… so while Em is in class I plan on playing most of the day. If you guys decide to play, be sure to join the 9th Circle server and choose Demonspawn.”
“Twist my arm, why dontcha? Mmmkay… You’ve talked me into it. I’ll head over after class.”
“I’ll head over there too. This sounds like a lot of fun.”
We all turned to look at the very petite Asian girl sitting next to Emily and I nodded to her.
“I’d love to have you all join. I’ll even walk you guys through a group dungeon so you can level up faster.”
“That sounds awesome… Hopefully us being so low leveled won’t make things too challenging for you.”
Emily snickered and I pursed my lips in amusement. The others looked confused like there was an inside joke they didn’t understand, and I turned to Emily.
“I won’t spoil the surprise… let’s just say that I am 100% confident that Allie’s character can handle pretty much anything.”
We all chatted about their ideas for their potential characters as we ate breakfast, and I was introduced to the rest of the Red Pill Coding club. I gave them my character name so they could message me once they created their character. Once we all finished eating we said our goodbyes, and I hugged and kissed Emily before she power walked off to class.