Chapter 1.1
I am a good person, I really am.
I kept telling myself that as I fled the battlefield, the looks of betrayal on my dying companions breaking my heart.
You have to understand, none of this is my fault. I never wanted to be a hero.
I was mandatorily conscripted into the "Wardens Program" at a young age thanks to having manifested my superpowers due to a very traumatic experience. So, can I really be blamed for not wanting to die fighting a gigantic, reality altering eldritch monster?
I sped up my pace, pushing my tired and battered body to run faster, panting for breath. The armored suit I was wearing enhanced my movements, making me faster, stronger.
Just when I was reaching the edge of the battlefield, a strong hand grabbed my armored leg, denting the metal.
"Where the fuck do you think you are going, you pussy?!" said my nemesis. She was a hardcore lesbian villain that never liked me. "Everyone was counting on you! You were essential to the plan! Go back and use the device you created!"
She was talking about the combat predictor model I'd made that would calculate the moves of the giant monster we were facing. Hypothetically, if it worked, it would allow me to dodge all its attacks, but that was if everything went right...but, knowing my luck, I didn't want to risk it. There were thousands of heroes here. Someone would pick up my slack…right?
Even injured and bleeding as she was, Ultraviolent's glare was menacing, her eyes blazing red with laser energy.
I tried my best to calm my racing heart and stuttered out the best bullshit I could conjure, "No, hahaha, y-you have it all wrong," I said, giving her a watery smile, "I was- I was just increasing the distance so the vectors and, uh, the euclidian angles don't get disrupted by the, um, by the reality disrupting field and-"
She gave me a predatory smile as she pulled herself up using my body. "Then you won't mind if I stay with you, will you? I'll make fucking sure this isn't another of your lies or I'll fucking cut your dick off you disgusting male bastard."
I began sweating. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.
As we both began walking, her using me as a crutch, my mind raced with possible solutions. The visor I wore scanned the environment, helping me analyze it.
The battlefield was a mess; it was littered with corpses, some human, some from monsters from other dimensions. Strange buildings and objects dotted it. And, rifts in space and time were open here and there. Apocalypse, the giant monster was shooting massive reality altering explosions that bombarded the place at random.
Using my combat predictor model; however, I was able to see where the explosions would drop, and I began heading for one of the next ones.
As I said before, I am a good person…but sometimes good people like yours truly are pushed to do extreme things by radical feminist-misandrist supervillains.
So you see, when I pushed Ultraviolent onto the incoming reality bomb, it really wasn't my fault…yes, it was self defense!
Unfortunately, even weakened and wounded as she was, my archenemy was still able to grab onto me, pulling me after her.
"You disgusting male bastard! If I'm going down, you are coming with m-"
That was the last thing I heard before everything went black.
---
How I wish I could tell you that I died then right then and there, but no. Somehow, someway, I woke up buried five feet underground and gasping for breath, a horrible prelude to a nightmarish set of events.
Desperate, I began digging the earth on top of me with my frail arms (was it my imagination or did they feel weaker).
After a frantic dozen seconds or so where I thought I would end up choking on dirt, I managed to break the surface and pull myself out. I laid there on the wet grass, taking deep breaths to ease my burning lungs.
It was night out and I was naked but for the dried blood and dirt on my body. Now, that I had solved the problem of getting air, I faced a new issue: getting warm. It was bloody freezing out here.
I was in the middle of a giant garden/forest. It went on for several acres. Out in the distance though, I spotted a building I was familiar with: Baine Manor. It was a dark and Victorian mansion that looked like it belonged to Count Dracula.
The Baine family were celebrities in Gothic City, my hometown, often donating ridiculous amounts of money to philanthropic endeavors.
Normally I wouldn't hesitate to go up to their manor and ask them for some clothes…but I did just wake up in a grave in their garden.
In the end, I decided to risk it. My teeth were chattering against each other and the moisture in the grass was making my feet freeze. Besides, everybody said they were good people.
I began sprinting up the hill towards the manor. If anyone looked at me in this state they'd think me a madman.
Thankfully, the run got some heat back into my body and that allowed me to notice the fact that my body wasn't, well, my body. It was shorter, more delicate, and my hair was long enough to reach neck.
Up close the building was much more intimidating. It almost made me rethink my choice.
Even more eerie was the fact that a an old female butler opened the massive doors before I could ring the doorbell.
Despite her advanced age, she bore an air of dignity and class. She had one hand covering her eyes, the other holding a long blanket.
"Oh deerie," the butler said, "What a sorry state you are in, young sir." She extended the blanket towards me. "Please take this and come in, so that you can warm yourself up."
I wasted no time and wrapped the cloth around my body.
The butler stopped covering her eyes and cleared her throat, "This is a very surprising development, young sir. We…well, we are glad you came back to the world of the living. Unfortunately, Mistress Baine and the others are away for the night. Of course, I've already informed them of your…felicitous return, but they are terribly busy and will take some time to come back. I have already set up a bath for you and I'll make some food if you so choose to wait for them."
Clearly, from the way she spoke, they knew me or the owner of my current body. This was a surprising turn of events because I had only met the Baine's once at an award ceremony once very briefly.
I decided to play along until I knew more. Besides who knew what would happen if they found out I possessed this poor guys body due to the reality bomb. Additionally, if they found out my real identity and that I fled the battlefield, they might report me to the HWL and they'd persecute me.
"I'm sorry, but it seems I'll have to take you up on your offer," I said, my voice an annoyingly high pitch. "I'll wait for them to come back."
The butler tilted nodded her head and gestured me to follow her, "Very well, young sir, follow me. This way please."
The manor was a maze. It was gigantic and opulent. Without her to lead the way, I would've gotten lost several times.
Once we reached the bathing room, the butler left me and went to "take care of the food", giving me some privacy.
There were some massive floor to ceiling mirrors there and I made use of them to examine myself.
What I saw made me grimace with displeasure. Gone was my masculine, sharp jawed body, replaced by a soft, girly body. My ass was huge and jiggly, my lips a kissable red, my face innocent and enticing. The only manly thing about it was its huge dick, bigger than the one in my previous body.
I wanted to break the mirror with my fist, but all that would have done was cut my hand up.
I sighed and made my way into the luxurious bathtub that was more like a pool or jacuzzi.
I gave myself a good wash, making sure to get the blood and dirt out. But I didn't take long. Taking baths on a strangers house just wasn't the same as at home.
At some point while I was showering, the butler left some clothes for me outside and she slid a note under the door informing me of that.
When I finished my shower, I retrieved them and began changing onto them. To me they looked like a girl's clothes: rubber booty shorts that left very little to imagination; some crystal, greek-like sandals; and a white, glittery shirt that had left my bellybutton exposed.
I left wrapped in the towel and asked the butler if they didn't have anything more appropriate for a guy like me.
"I'm terribly sorry, young sir, but we are all women in this household and our clothes wouldn't fit your petite frame. The clothes I gave you were left here by one of the…gentlemen that visited mistress Jasin. Regrettably, I could find nothing more decent."
Wearing those clothes made me feel terribly embarrassed, but it was better than going naked. And, besides with this body, I could pass off as a girl.
I clenched my teeth and wore the effeminate attire.
On a more positive note, her cooking was amazing. She cooked up some wickedly elaborate meals for me in the blink of an eye. I couldn't even name half of the fancy dishes, but to my starving stomach they tasted like a slice of heaven.
I expected her to pry into how I came back to life, but she stayed remarkably calm and silent, only asking me trivial questions such as whether I liked the food.
The hours dragged on and the silence got uncomfortable, but I was too afraid of giving away anything.
When we finished, out of good manners and a little guilt, I offered to help the poor butler clean up. However, I was firmly refused, "Nonsense, I could never trouble a friend of mistress Vick."
With nothing else to do, I settled up for a long wait, all the while thinking about my situation.
There had to be a trap here somewhere. Nothing that eldritch abomination, Apocalypse, did was good. Getting hit by its reality bomb didn't bode well for me even if I survived. I'd have to be careful.