Hope You've Been Well

"Stop fucking smiling." Lian Yiming got up from the floor. The doorbell had rung—it was probably the dinner they had ordered earlier.

After their whole ruckus, they were all hungry. The four boys sat around the dining table and ate, just like they used to do in school. Lu Wen couldn't help but grieve, crying as he spoke: "I booked the hall with my own money for a concert next term, but you won't even be there to hear it."

Gu Zhuoyan frowned. "Your band hasn't split up?"

"Fuck you, we haven't even debuted, why would we split up?" Lu Wen used to dream of being in the army when he was a child, but after their military training in junior secondary, he never raised the topic again. In upper secondary, he began to dream of being a singer instead, pulling a band together thanks to his wealthy family background. Even then, they didn't have enough people at the beginning; Gu Zhuoyan had to stand in as his guitarist for a few months.

"When's your concert?" asked Su Wang.

"National Day!" said Lu Wen.

The school term was starting in September, and he was having the concert in October—there was a great deal of preparation to be done, including the rehearsals and band practice sessions… It basically meant he wasn't planning to study. Gu Zhuoyan sighed for Lu Wen's parents, then thought of something. "In that case, I might be able to go."

There was a maths competition at the end of September. If Gu Zhuoyan signed up, he would have to go back for the test, and then he could spend the National Day holiday at home. Perfect. This was why Su Wang asked for the date; he had signed up too.

The boys chatted as they ate, moving on from Lu Wen's band to Lian Yiming's new motorcycle, as if the topic of Gu Zhuoyan's coming out had been completely settled. It had started with a bang, but ended with a whimper.

They easily discussed the reason behind Gu Zhuoyan's transfer: he had suddenly come out, shocking the whole school and sending Gu Shibo into a rage, and then Xue Manzi sent him to Rongcheng. But nobody tried to trace it back further. Why did he choose to come out right then? That was one foggy detail that none of the three wanted to clarify.

Gu Zhuoyan hadn't told them, not even now. As his best friends, they wouldn't even ask.

In the small villa on the old street, Zhuang Fanxin was in his study, fully focussed on his homework. His phone lay to one side. He had actually hesitated slightly before replying to Gu Zhuoyan, because Gu Zhuoyan's three friends seemed a little crazy. But since they had come all this way, it didn't seem right to turn them down. Plus, Gu Zhuoyan would cheer up a little if they were here. He could kill two birds with one stone.

After he finished all his summer homework, Zhuang Fanxin went back to his bedroom to sleep. He played with his phone for a few hours before bed. The moment he turned it on, his unread messages exploded. He had disappeared after dropping the bombshell in the afternoon, ignoring everyone's follow-up texts.

Not bothering to read them all, he simply sent: "I'm back!"

It was as if Zhuang Fanxin had raised a target on his back. The group of boys attacked him in quick succession, calling him unreliable and untrustworthy. Lying lazily in his little duvet bundle, he elaborated, "I wasn't lying, the transfer student is my neighbour."

"Your neighbour's an old man, you think we don't know that?" said the class president.

"It's the old man's grandkid. I went with him when he took the school exam last week. We even went to Yinan to have cake after," said Zhuang Fanxin.

"Witness," called the class president.

Qi Nan came online instantly. "Witness present. My mum told me too, it's true."

Everyone finally believed Zhuang Fanxin's news. But though it was true that there was a transfer student, since he was a boy, it wasn't so captivating anymore. Like repels like; the group of boys lost interest, their questions gaining a more competitive air: how tall was he? What were his grades like? How good was he at basketball? What was his gaming level?

Zhuang Fanxin answered them one by one. "Eyeballing it, he's about 184cm. He gets full marks in his maths papers, I don't know about basketball, he can fence and ride horses, and as for gaming… he didn't even die when he had me as a teammate."

Qi Nan: "Is he paying you to say nice things?"

Zhuang Fanxin: "I'm not lying, it's all true!"

The group fell completely silent for a while. Someone responded: "I'm sleepy, bye guys."

There were no further messages after this, as if they had all turned off their phones and left. Zhuang Fanxin sent an annoyed emoji and then closed the chat group too. His finger unconsciously scrolled through his message history. Gu Zhuoyan had a new profile picture: it seemed to be the photo he had taken of the German Shepherd, looking grand and majestic.

A new message popped up. It was the class teacher: "Straighten your hair before school starts!"

Zhuang Fanxin was so shocked that his phone fell onto his face. He picked it up and replied instantly, "Sir, it's super straight right now, I can take a selfie."

Xia Wei: "No need."

"Alright then, good night sir." Zhuang Fanxin sighed in relief. He stuffed his phone under his pillow and hurriedly tried to sleep—no telling if his teacher might suddenly send another text in the middle of the night.

Soon it was the last day of summer break. Zhuang Fanxin woke up very early and packed his bag, then took the freshly laundered school uniform to the second floor balcony to hang dry. He could see beyond his front gate from here: raising his head, he noticed a few vague silhouettes. It was Gu Zhuoyan and his friends.

They had promised to go out together yesterday. Zhuang Fanxin waved, then grabbed his bag and ran downstairs. As he opened the gate, the four of them were standing in a semicircle right before him, ignoring each other. It seemed like their friendship hadn't survived the night.

Zhuang Fanxin and Gu Zhuoyan walked at the front of the group. "What happened?" he whispered.

"Nothing," said Gu Zhuoyan. "We all squeezed onto one big bed last night. I kicked Lian Yiming to the floor in my sleep, Su Wang was grinding his teeth and Lu Wen punched him, and then when Lian Yiming was climbing back up in the dark, he squashed Lu Wen's balls. That's all."

Zhuang Fanxin forcefully choked back his laughter. "But you were the only one that was fine?"

"I'm not fine either," replied Gu Zhuoyan. "I dreamt that I was leaving Rongcheng, and there was a huge storm." He waved and hailed a taxi, then opened the door and pushed Zhuang Fanxin in. In a voice that only the two of them could hear, he said, "You didn't come to the airport to see me off."

This was all made up. He had been thinking about it from the moment he woke up and went to brush his teeth; a breakfast and a car ride later, this was the story he had managed to come up with. He wasn't sure what effect it might have.

Zhuang Fanxin was clearly stunned. "Wouldn't the flight be cancelled in a storm?" he asked, shocked.

"…" Fuck, no good, thought Gu Zhuoyan.

The boys' flight was at two in the afternoon, so their sightseeing would only last the morning. Zhuang Fanxin first took them to a few well-known tourist spots, glancing over a few old buildings.

After seeing the Jiefang Bridge, they stopped by a restaurant for authentic local cuisine, and then moved on to Xuesheng Street. Xuesheng Street was always lively at any time of day or night; tourists packed the street, and there were long lines forming at several of the street stalls.

Gu Zhuoyan walked behind Zhuang Fanxin. "It was just as busy when we were at Temple Street in Hong Kong last year," he said.

"You're shameless," came Lian Yiming's voice. "It was my birthday then, and all you got me was a pair of underwear on Temple Street. I thought your family had gone bankrupt."

Embarrassed by this rehashing of old debts, Gu Zhuoyan snapped, "I'll pay you back this year. What do you want?"

"I want the latest sneakers. We've known each other for over a decade, do you know my shoe size?" Lian Yiming said pointedly.

Appearing sarcastic while actually wingmanning—such was the mysterious nature of brotherhood. When Lian Yiming went off to look for Lu Wen and Su Wang, Gu Zhuoyan stayed silent, peeking at Zhuang Fanxin.

Zhuang Fanxin walked with his head bowed. He wasn't an idiot; of course he understood what Lian Yiming was implying. It was a good time for him to make things clear, too. He stopped and said, "I've decided to give you something in return."

Gu Zhuoyan was taken aback. "Why?"

"To thank you for giving me sneakers," said Zhuang Fanxin.

"But I gave you the sneakers to thank you for the drawings you gave me," said Gu Zhuoyan. "Why do you need to give something back?"

"My drawings are worthless, but the shoes are very expensive," explained Zhuang Fanxin. "I accepted them because I really like them, and also because you had good intentions, but it'll burden me if I don't give you anything in return."

This was the first time Gu Zhuoyan had seen such a situation. He had given Zhuang Fanxin a gift in all sincerity, not even because he wanted to pursue him… Since Zhuang Fanxin mentioned his intentions, he picked the thread up and ran with it. "What matters is the intent. I like the drawings, you like the shoes. Why bother with the price?"

"It's not the same." Zhuang Fanxin looked up. Afraid that the other boy would think that he only liked expensive things, he added, "You could give me anything and I would still like it."

Gu Zhuoyan gaze suffused with warmth. Zhuang Fanxin's words pleased him, and also inspired his response: "But I won't like everything I get. If you give me something of equal value, I might not like it, so why don't you give me something I do want instead?"

Zhuang Fanxin hesitated. "What do you want?"

Gu Zhuoyan had no clue. He had everything he wanted; if you asked him what he didn't want, he could give you a whole list. He glanced at a stall at the corner of his eyes, then said bluntly, "I want underwear, buy me some."

Through the crowd of passing tourists, Zhuang Fanxin and Gu Zhuoyan walked over to the stall and looked at the large variety of men's underwear. There were cartoon-print ones, striped ones, monochrome ones… Zhuang Fanxin couldn't help blushing, asking repeatedly under his breath, "Are you sure?"

Seeing that Gu Zhuoyan hadn't an ounce of regret, Zhuang Fanxin drew a little closer. "Is black okay?"

Gu Zhuoyan didn't know what he was planning. "Yeah."

"Boxers or briefs?" Zhuang Fanxin asked softly.

"… Briefs," Gu Zhuoyan finally revealed.

Zhuang Fanxin picked a box. It was only thirty yuan. Gu Zhuoyan stuffed the box into his bag at lightning speed. "It's settled," said Gu Zhuoyan in a low voice, "so don't go on about those sneakers anymore."

Before they set off for the airport, Su Wang suggested taking a group photo as a souvenir. The four of them stood beneath a lush banyan tree: Gu Zhuoyan had his hands in his pockets, Lian Yiming leaned against the tree trunk, Lu Wen squatted, and Su Wang was lying on Lu Wen's back. Their poses ready, Gu Zhuoyan handed over his phone and Zhuang Fanxin took their photo.

He took one in landscape mode and one in portrait.

The four boys gathered around to look at the pictures. They opened the latest photo in the album. The lighting and composition were excellent. They scrolled to the next photo: the portrait version was pretty good too.

Lu Wen accidentally scrolled again. "Whoa!"

Zhuang Fanxin was stunned. It was a photo of him, very close up, with his hair still curly. If he wasn't mistaken, Gu Zhuoyan had taken it at the hair salon, when he was pretending to take a selfie.

"Oh, you two should have a photo together too!" Su Wang heckled.

Lian Yiming and Lu Wen pushed Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin under the tree. Three photographers shared a single camera, but their opinions were well united: get closer! Put your arm around his shoulder, we Northern men always put our arms around each other in photos! Alright… Say cheese!

In the hubbub against the backdrop of an already sweltering hot day, Zhuang Fanxin wiped his sweat. Once the photo was taken, he took a few steps away from Gu Zhuoyan's shoulder and didn't bother asking what was up with that secretly taken photo of himself.

There wasn't much time left. The five boys split into two cars to get to the airport. After getting their boarding passes, they walked to the security checkpoint and stopped outside. It seemed to be time for goodbye.

Then Lian Yiming pointed to the supermarket not too far away. "Zhuoyan, could you buy us some local specialties to bring back?"

"There are even more of those at the terminal," said Gu Zhuoyan.

"We don't even know when we'll see you next, what's wrong with spending a bit of money on your bros?!" said Lu Wen severely.

Gu Zhuoyan had no choice but to turn away and spend money on his bros. Some of those local specialties aren't authentic, thought Zhuang Fanxin. I should go with him. But he had barely taken a step when Lu Wen pulled him back.

In a flash, Lian Yiming, Lu Wen, and Su Wang surrounded Zhuang Fanxin, all of them grinning from ear to ear. Zhuang Fanxin was alarmed. He knew the three of them were weird! What were they trying to pull now, ambushing him like this?

"Neighbour, may I be so bold as to ask," said Su Wang, unexpectedly gentle, "if you have a girlfriend?"

"Not yet," answered Zhuang Fanxin.

"Well then, do you want one? Does your heart long for one?" Lu Wen prodded further.

Zhuang Fanxin stared blankly. "Not really…"

Lian Yiming shoved the other two aside and said, "Gu Zhuoyan doesn't either. You know, it's guys who understand other guys best. No real need for a girlfriend." He reached out and seized Zhuang Fanxin's shoulders. "He gave you sneakers, went with you to the hair salon, took your photo… clearly he really likes you."

"He's a good guy," said Zhuang Fanxin politely. "I like him a lot too, and his little sister."

"Why bother liking that little brat?" said Su Wang. "Forget her, it's completely unnecessary. Xin, Zhuoyan gets really lonely here. God knows how many nights he spends biting his blanket to sleep. Spend more time with him, okay?"

"He's not very expressive," Lian Yiming added, "but if you care for him a lot, he'll definitely repay you in kind. In any case, please look after him; he depends on his parents at home, and he'll be counting on you here in Rongcheng!"

Since all he wanted to say had already been said, Lu Wen simply added, "Thanks!"

At the end of this dialogue, Zhuang Fanxin was touched by the boys' display of friendship, but also slightly confused. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something seemed off.

Gu Zhuoyan came back with three large bags of local specialties, thrusting a bag on each of them. Before they could speak, their time was almost up. Since they couldn't passionately express their farewells, they simply hugged goodbye.

Lian Yiming came in for the first hug. "Take good care of yourself," he urged.

Su Wang was second. "We'll be waiting for you to come back," he whispered.

Lu Wen was the last one. In a false sob he said, "Your little neighbour's not bad, go get him!"

The three waved, backing into the queue for the security check. Soon, they disappeared from sight. Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin paused for a moment, then prepared to go home too. Gu Zhuoyan knew for sure that the three of them must've attempted to emotionally influence Zhuang Fanxin when they sent him away.

He put on a polite air. "They're not the most decent of people, and they can be a bit vulgar, so if they've offended you I apologise on their behalf."

Zhuang Fanxin was quick to deny it. "They're very nice people. They're welcome to come back again."

The two passed through the main hall of the airport, where many strangers were saying their farewells, as they themselves had just done. As they approached the glass doors, where the sunlight was streaming through, Gu Zhuoyan suddenly asked, "If there isn't a storm—if it's a sunny day just like this one… will you see me off when I go?"

Zhuang Fanxin hesitated. He sometimes forgot that Gu Zhuoyan would only be in Rongcheng for a year.

"Of course," he said. Hoping to hide his gloom with a joke, he added, "I'll hug you then, too."

Gu Zhuoyan took a large step, stretched his arms out in front of Zhuang Fanxin, and stooped slightly to pull him into a hug. The hair brushing his cheek was very soft, and the figure under his arms felt a little stiff. He could hear Zhuang Fanxin breathing.

"What are you doing…?"

"I'm practicing," said Gu Zhuoyan innocently.

—

1. Chinese students undergo military training in secondary school and at university.

2. Side note: Rongcheng 榕城 literally means Banyan City.