Homestar Saga

"I'd have had them installed by Tuesday," Migo's voice was defensive.

"The work was supposed to be done two weeks ago," snarled the Captain.

"The power grid couldn't handle the load," Migo explained. "We had to reinforce it. This is an experimental setup, Mims. There's bound to be complications."

"Then why didn't I get an N-mail informing me of the delay?" The human demanded.

"Cause you were dead!"

Mims didn't have anything to say to that.

After several seconds of silence, Migo nervously asked, "You're still gonna...I mean....this doesn't mean the deals off? Does it?"

"It means," Mims told him. "We're probably all gonna die."

"You don't really mean that?" Yvian asked, worried. "Do you?"

The human ignored the question. "Lissa," he addressed her sister. "Is the Jumpdrive online?"

"Let me see." Lissa typed into her console. "No. Jumpdrive's not connected."

"God damn it." Mims activated comms on his wrist console. "Migo, where is my Jumpdrive?"

"Jumpdrive?" Migo's voice raised in pitch slightly. "Are you leaving us?"

"If you've taken my Jumpdrive off this ship I'll feed you to the Vrrl myself," the human told him. "Where is it?"

"It's still there," Migo rushed to assure him. "We had to disconnect it while we were working on the power grid. You could hook it back up again in a couple minutes."

"Lissa, go." Lissa downloaded a ship schematic to her wrist console and ran off the bridge. Mims motioned to Yvian as he moved to one of the containers. "Help me with these." He pried it open.

"What are they?" Yvian peered into the container. It was full of neatly stacked disks, roughly half a meter in diameter. "Wait, are those..."

"Combat drones," Mims confirmed. "We need to turn them on and sync them to the ship's computer."

Mims took her through the process. It was simple enough. As Yvian set up the drones, the Captain opened another container. He pulled out portable shield units and started setting them up against the walls of the bridge. He set them up on the floor and the ceiling as well.

It took a full fifteen minutes for Yvian to activate all thirty six drones. Mims called Lissa on the comms. "Lissa, how's the Jumpdrive coming?"

"Working on it," she told him. "It was a long way to the engine room."

"Work faster," he ordered. "They'll be on us in six minutes." The Captain activated the shield generators on the walls. He set three more up in front of the door to the bridge, but did not activate them.

Mims opened the final container. He pulled out a turret. The turret had eight barrels grouped together in a circular pattern attached to a heavy looking block. He set it up behind the third shield in front of the door. He set a second turret next to it. The ship shuddered just after he turned it on.

Yvian rushed to her console. The Vrrl cruiser had finally entered firing range. Hundreds of bolts of plasma smashed into The Paradigm Shift. Yvian checked the ship's status, expecting the shields to be on the brink of failure after such a barrage. To her surprise, they had only fallen to ninety one percent.

"The Paradigm's got twice the shields of a standard carrier." Mims informed her. "I had to give up a third of her hangar capacity to make it work, but she's almost as tough as The Gunzerker." He sighed. "I miss that ship."

Half a minute later Lissa pinged the human's comm. "The Jumpdrive's connected, but we can't use it yet. It's running some kind of startup program."

"Good work," said Mims. "Get back here as fast as you can." The Captain sat down at his console. "I'm going to run evasives. This thing isn't that maneuverable, but I'll buy as much time as I can. I need you to program the drones. I want them to operate in groups of three, and I want them to kill anything that's not us."

"On it," Yvian went to her console. "Are we going to try to board the cruiser? Like with The Beefcake?"

"Hell no," the Captain snorted. "All The Beefcake had was a couple dozen pirates, barely armed." He cursed as the ship shuddered. Avoiding the heavy guns of the cruiser was hard, and would only get harder as the Bloodwing closed in. Soon they wouldn't be able to dodge at all. "That cruiser's got fifteen hundred Vrrl on it, all armed to the teeth."

"Then what are we setting these up, for?" Yvian asked.

"Because that cruiser's got fifteen hundred Vrrl on it, all armed to the teeth."

"Oh." Yvian remembered the Vrrl tearing through the wreck of the ships she'd seen earlier. The Vrrl didn't just want to kill her. The Vrrl wanted to eat her. "Do, uh," she peered into the container. "Do we have any more turrets?"

Three minutes later, the Captain sat back in his chair. "That's it, then," he announced. "They're too close for us to dodge." He pinged Lissa on the comm. "How close are you?"

"Almost there," came the breathless response.

"Hurry," said the human. "They'll have our shields stripped in another minute." He entered a sequence into the nav console. "Yvian, I've got coordinates locked in. I need you to activate the Jumpdrive the second it comes online."

"Ok." Yvian pulled up a status screen. "Do you think we're going to make it?" The ship shook and shuddered under the heavy guns of the Bloodwing.

"No." The Captain was grim. "I think they're going to get in."

Ten seconds later Lissa ran onto the bridge. The Captain told her to seal the hatch. He activated the three portable shields in front of the door.

The Jumpdrive finally finished its startup sequence. "Jumpdrive's up," Yvian announced as she pushed the button. "Activating now."

The ship's computer piped it's soothing voice into their helmets, keeping a running count as the Jumpdrive charged. It only got to forty percent before the Paradigm's shields fell. The Bloodwing cruiser reached with its mechanical arms. Mims tried to maneuver away, but the ship was too slow. The Vrrl battlecruiser latched onto the Paradigm Shift. The ship shuddered as the giant claws sunk in.

"Eighty percent," counted the computer.

"They've got us!" Lissa shouted.

"I know," said the Captain.

"Ninety percent."

"Jumping won't work! They'll just come with us!"

"I know," said the Captain.

"One hundred percent," announced the computer.

"But they'll wish they hadn't."

"Initiating Jump."

When the Jump Effect resolved, they were in Xill space. They'd come out in the sector with the Hub. As before, it was heavily guarded. A Quig had opened fire on the Vrrl already.

Mims sent a general broadcast. "Attention Xill vessels, this is Captain Mims. This carrier is being brought to you in accordance with our previous agreement. Please don't blow it up."

The Vrrl Bloodwing released the Paradigm Shift, turning quickly to face the Quig and its escort frigates. It's Ion Roarcannon fired, slamming into the Xill vessel and blasting away half of its shields. It's weapons sent a cascade of plasma at the Xill. If Yvian had been shocked at the cruiser's firepower, she was flabbergasted at the weapons the Quig could bring to bear. Plasma and beams and what looked like fucking lightning lanced out of the Xill cruiser. They thundered into the Vrrl's shields, dropping them like a stone.

While it was distracted, the Paradigm Shift struck. Captain Mims launched a barrage of torpedos and heavy missiles. At such close range, the Bloodwing was hit before it had time to react. The missiles were less effective than Yvian would've hoped, but Mims seemed happy to be firing them.

"Human," the voice of Exodus the Genocide filtered through the comms. "We do not appreciate you bringing enemies into our space."

"My apologies," replied the Captain. "We ran into some complications while retrieving your Node."

"I am aware of the circumstances." Exodus was annoyed. "Don't do it again." A pause. "You appear to have guests. We will not consider this transaction complete until they have been dealt with. Exodus out."

"Asshole," Mims muttered.

"You know he can hear you, right?" Yvian wasn't sure insulting the Xill Representative was a good idea. As she watched, the Quig pounded the rest of the way through the Bloodwing cruiser's shields, turning the mighty vessel into debris.

"Good." The human started an internal sensor sweep. "I was hoping the Vrrl would break off before they could board. Failing that, I figured the Xill could send some of their murderbots to deal with the pricks. Now it looks like we have to fight them ourselves."

"How many of them are there?" Yvian asked. There couldn't be that many. The Bloodwing had only been attached to the Paradigm Shift for thirty seconds or so.

"Four groups," the Captain counted. "Twenty four Vrrl each. We've got ninety six Vrrl hunters headed for the bridge."

"Thats..." Lissa swallowed. "That's a lot."

"It is." The Captain gestured to one of the open containers. "Lock and load, ladies. This is gonna get rough."