Home for Horny Monsters

The drive to the storage unit took over an hour. Staring at the fields on the edge of town, Beth couldn’t fathom why Emily would insist on a storage unit so far away from civilization, especially when there were several good ones within fifteen minutes of her home. 

“Fries,” she said, and Lily, acting as her copilot, held up the small red fry cup like an offering to the gods. Beth grabbed a few, stuffing them in her mouth carefully to avoid smudging her lipstick. They had grabbed a bite to eat at the edge of town on Lily’s insistence. Beth almost told her no, but suddenly realized how hungry she was. It was as if the intern was a mind reader.

“Are you sure you don’t want any ketchup? Fry sauce? Anything?” Lily held up an open container.

“Rookie move. You don’t want to drip sauce on your blouse. It makes you look unprofessional, and then people stare at your breasts all day, which can be distracting to everyone involved.”

“I think I would rather pack an extra shirt than go without fry sauce.” Lily stuck a pair of fries in the tub, pulling out a large glob of the pink stuff, sticking her tongue out to catch it before it fell. “I would pack an extra set of work clothes for some good fry sauce.”

“You sound like you damn near worship the stuff,” Beth said, grabbing a few more fries.

“It’s a bit awkward to talk about, but my last boyfriend didn’t let me eat what I wanted.” Lily hooked another large blob of the stuff on a thicker fry, her tongue wrapping around the crisp potato skin before pulling it in her mouth. “It was a pretty bad relationship. He was a huge dick, very controlling.”

“How long ago was this?” Beth asked.

“Long enough for me to be in a new relationship. Seriously, do you want any of this?” Lily held up an unopened fry sauce packet.

“Knock yourself out.” Beth watched Lily hook her fingers in the current tin of fry sauce, licking her skin clean. There was something dirty about the way she did it, her tongue making slow, long licks along her digits. It was a terrible thought, but Beth briefly wondered how many dicks Lily had had in her mouth.

“A hundred and forty six,” Lily said. Beth stared straight ahead, suddenly afraid that Lily could somehow read her mind. Several seconds passed in silence, and Lily pointed to the side of the road. “Exit one forty-six, you’re about to miss it!”

“Oh.” Beth swerved her car, jumping across two lanes, someone honking at her in protest. They came to the end of the long exit road, waiting at a red light to turn left. “Is the new relationship good then?”

“We’re still in the beginner’s stage. You know, figuring each other out. Seems like he might actually be a good guy, but I guess I’m a little afraid that I could be wrong. I would hate to get my hopes up only to get burned for it. Wow.” Lily’s eyes settled on the vast expanse of land before them. “Why would anybody want a storage unit in the middle of nowhere?”

“There’s an agricultural town down the road a way. The storage place, I believe, is largely for them. No idea why Emily would get a place out here. She must have gotten a killer deal or something.”

“Could be super valuable stuff maybe? Crimes of opportunity don’t happen when you have to drive an hour to break the lock on a storage unit.” Lily pulled out some papers. “From what I can tell, she paid for the most expensive unit. Climate controlled, anti-pest, you name it. What would you need all that storage for?”

“A comic book collection. I had a client years back who kept all his comics in a space like that. Kind of sad when he died, they quickly became money that his heirs fought over, not a single one of them gave a damn about the golden age of comics.” Beth tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, ignoring the sound of Lily slurping fry sauce straight from the container. At what point did materialism become an unhealthy obsession? She remembered his face, but not his name, the comic collector. He hadn’t visited his comics in over a decade, wanted to keep them in mint condition. But for what? She still remembered handing the check over to his children from the sale of the collection. Not a tear had been spared for their father, and they hadn’t even bothered looking to see if there was something in his collection they would want.

It made her sad, thinking about how people treated their property. If you locked it away to keep it safe, could you ever truly enjoy it?

“Up ahead,” Lily said, pointing at a large concrete wall that seemed to appear as if by magic. The road curved dramatically in places, and they found themselves in front of New Castle Storage Solutions.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Beth muttered, forgetting she had an impressionable intern inside of the car. The front of New Castle had been designed to look like an actual castle. Tiny red flags flew at the top of the buttresses, and the gate was open, ready to accept moving trucks of all sizes. The old signs for the festival were still up, cleverly altered by someone with basic knowledge of paint and a cheap wood burning kit. Beth had forgotten all about the place, yet another memory she never had any need for. 

“I kind of like it,” Lily offered, startling Beth out of her reverie.  Grabbing her briefcase, Beth got out of the car, followed closely by Lily. They walked along a side path that took them to a side building labeled Captain of the Guard.

A disinterested twenty-something sat in the air conditioned building, his eyes on a set of monitors that revealed that there was a whole lot of nothing going on. In the monitors, Beth saw the parking lot. Except for a few trucks parked near the back, hers was the only one in the lot.

“Can I help you?” He asked, swiveling in his chair. His dangling name tag revealed that his name was Randy, and that he had been with the company since This Morning. Clever, Beth thought.

“Hello, my name is Beth, and I am an estate agent for a Mr. Mike Radley.” Beth handed over her card. “There is a storage unit in the possession of a previous client of mine who passed away. You see, her estate made arrangements to pay for all of her rental fees, and I was wondering if I could get some information from you regarding the potential illegal sale of some of these items.”

Beth realized that Randy was staring at her tits. “Hey, eyes up here.”

“Yeah, you kind of lost me there for a second. Are you some kind of lawyer or something?” Randy asked.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s my boss’s department.” Randy’s eyes lit from within, a mischievous grin crossing his lips. “You’re gonna have to speak to him.”

“Where is he?” Beth asked.

“He’s on a cruise with his wife. He’ll be back in a couple of weeks.”

“I don’t have a couple of weeks,” Beth told him, narrowing her eyes.

“Yeah, well I’m not risking my job over it.” Randy turned his attention back to the monitors.

“How about if I get the cops involved?” Beth threatened. “I do have a legal right to my clients records.”

Randy slid his phone toward her. “His name is Buttweasel in my contacts, but you should call the sheriff Eric. Feel free to call him; I haven’t seen him since 4th of July when we had dinner at grandma’s house.”

Beth stared at the phone, clenching her hands. She wanted to drag Randy across the counter, but didn’t feel like getting arrested by a guy who went by the nickname Buttweasel. Lily’s hand calmly gripped Beth’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you head outside, I’ll see what I can do,” Lily told her, winking. Beth rolled her eyes, storming out of the office to wait in the yard.

-

“How are you feeling?” Zel looked back at Mike over her shoulder. Mike had stumbled again, placing his full weight on her withers. He stood still for a few moments, sucking in deep breaths.

“Kinda shitty,” he admitted. Already, he had a strong urge to ask her for more of that recovery potion. “I’ll be fine for a few minutes, and then my body just wants to give out.”

“That’s your cells going through a refractory period,” Zel explained. “Since your body is regenerating so rapidly, you’ll get hit with brief periods of time where the energy in your body isn’t converting fast enough.” She stuck her hand in one of the many bags she had strapped to her body. “You are burning fat to replace what you have lost, but you don’t really have all that much fat to lose. Eat this.” She stuck a thick block into his hand.

“What is this?” Mike asked.

“Energy bar. I keep a stash of these on hand for emergencies. You should eat half of it now, that should help with the fatigue.”

Mike inspected the energy bar. It looked like it had been cobbled together from mud and grass. “What is in this?”

“Only the good stuff. I’ve been in this forest for several years now, and I had to make do. A small bag of these provide enough nutrition to get through a couple weeks of winter, no problem.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Mike sniffed the bar. It smelled faintly of oatmeal. He bit into it, expecting to taste honey, oats, maybe even something nutty. Instead, it tasted like the inside of a lawn mower bag.

“Yeah, it’s an acquired taste. Better than starving to death.” Zel handed him a water skin. “It’s better to wash it down right away. The aftertaste is kinda gross.”

“Geez.” Mike choked down half the bar, then sucked greedily at the water skin. The flavor quickly left his mouth, and the bar sat like a brick in his gut. “Couple weeks of this stuff?”

“Only once. The greenhouse is supposed to be like springtime year round, but there was a weird period a couple years back where a brutal winter blew through.” Zel took the water skin back, slinging it over her shoulder. “Caught me off guard, and I had to go find shelter deep in the forest. Not a lot of caves built for people of my stature.”

“Indeed.” Mike stuffed the bar in his pocket, taking another minute to rest against Zel. The weakness soon passed, and he stepped away, his legs protesting. He did a quick stretch, easing the tension in his limbs.

“Little bit better?” Zel asked.

“Some.” He gave Zel an affectionate pat on the back, then immediately regretted it. He didn’t know her that well, and was grateful when she said nothing. Zel guided him through some of the thicker vegetation, her lower half easily clearing a path for him to follow. Shoving aside a large cluster of vines, he found himself back in the clearing with the Mandragora plant.

“Watch out for the pods,” Mike warned, giving them a wide berth.

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice,” Zel informed him. “I was dumb enough once to try and harvest the pollen. Pod burst all over me and I had to run away before the tentacles could grab me. Let’s just say that there’s a tree not too far from here that I can’t even look at anymore without blushing.”

Mike nodded his head, gazing warily at the pods. Already, they were beginning to wilt, their purpose finally served. “So what’s going to happen to the Mandragora?”

“I imagine it will hibernate for a bit. It takes a ton of energy to build a vessel for fertilizing, and now that it’s reproduced, it will probably sleep for some time.” Zel stepped over a clump of vines that had curled around each other, forming a noose. “I think this is what you are looking for?”

Mike walked to where she stood. The hilt of the dagger reflected the sinking sun’s light, its shadow like a sundial on the smooth stone beneath it. The blade was so sharp that it had easily embedded itself in the stone. Mike wondered how far the blade would have sunk without the metal of the hilt to slow its descent.

“Are you going to take it?” Zel asked. Mike realized that he had been staring a the knife for some time.

“Yeah.” Wrapping his fingers around the hilt, he gave it an experimental tug, expecting some resistance. The blade slid free, its dark edges glinting dangerously in the light. Holding the knife, he realized he had nowhere to put it. Shoving it casually in a pocket would end in disaster at best, and Mike didn’t want to trip and impale himself.

“Here.” Zel handed him a strip of leather. Mike carefully wrapped the leather around the blade, marveling at how quickly it bit into the tough fabric. Zel handed him a small sack to stuff the dagger into. He pulled the drawstrings tight, cinching the bag shut. He hefted it carefully, satisfied that the knife wouldn’t suddenly slide through the edges.

“Thanks,” he told her, using the strings to tie it through his belt.

They walked largely in silence, Mike still stumbling on occasion. Zel’s hooves pounded a steady rhythm into the dirt, luring him into a partial trance. He wondered how mad everyone would be when he got back, hours later than his expected return. It wouldn’t surprise him to see Abella circling overhead any moment, or to spot Cecilia’s glowing form in the shadows.

Tink would probably bite him for making her worry.

Worst of all, he was strangely obsessed with what Sofia would say. It was really bugging him that she didn’t immediately like him. Then again, Cecilia had been the same way at first. He wondered what he could do to bridge the gap, prove that he was worth getting to know. 

“Shit,” Mike swore, stopping in his tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Zel asked.

“I should have asked Sofia about the Grimoire.” Sarah had been obsessed with it, a magical book of great power. It made sense to Mike that such a thing would exist in the Library, and he had forgotten to even mention it. There had been too much on his mind, there was always too much on his mind.

“Who’s Sofia?” Zel asked. She had turned around, staring at him from the middle of the path.

“She’s a cyclops who watches over the Library. You haven’t met her?”

Zel’s eyes fell to the ground, her left front hoof pawing softly at the hard soil. “Um, no. Not exactly. I guess there’s something I should tell you.”

Fuck, Mike thought. “What is it?”

“I’ve never actually been in the house,” she said. “I only met Emily the one time, about ten years ago.”

“Wait, you only met her? You didn’t live with her?” Mike appraised the centaur. Did she work for the Society? He was suddenly aware of how tightly he gripped the bag in his hand.

Zel bit her lower lip. “No. We were only visiting.”

“Then why are you still here?” Mike asked. “As far as I know, there’s only one way in.”

“We never left. My aunt and I came here in the guise of academic pursuits through a magical portal. My aunt stole some magic from our tribe to get us here, and she convinced Emily that we only needed some plants from the greenhouse. Emily was really nice, and told us to take what we needed. However, that was a lie.” Zel’s tail twitched, slapping her rump. “We were refugees is the actual truth. My aunt was protecting me from a forced marriage to the chief’s son. I don’t know that you’d understand it even if I explained, but my aunt left me here to keep me safe from him.”

“Why did your aunt leave?” Mike asked. “Shouldn’t she have stayed to protect you?”

“Because she knew they would keep looking for her. She went somewhere else, leaving a trail for them to follow. I’ve been out here for nearly a decade, living in secret.” Zel turned around, looking away from Mike. “It’s been unimaginably lonely. I used the healer arts to survive, and further my studies, but it isn’t enough. I was really hoping that-“

“You could move in? Sure.” Mike walked by her side, taking Zel’s hand in his own. “We might need to figure a few things out, but as long as you don’t cause any problems with the others, why the hell not?”

“Really? Just like that?” He could see it now, a spark of hope in her dark eyes.

Mike shrugged. “Seems to me that the house is home to plenty of things that don’t have homes of their own. I’m not certain if there’s a rule or a limit to it. We can check with Naia, but as long as she approves, you don’t have to stay out here in the woods all the time.”

“Oh Mike, thank you!” Zel wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in for a tight embrace. Mike’s face was pinned directly between her breasts, and he was suddenly aware of how full and warm they felt.

“I cah breef.” Mike tapped Zel on the elbow after several heavenly seconds passed.

“Oh, sorry!” Zel released him. Mike took a deep breath, grateful for the influx of oxygen. “You have no idea how happy this makes me.”

“On some level, I think I do.” Mike winked at her and continued up the path, the centaur following close behind. He made it only a few more steps before his legs fell out from beneath him. This time, Zel wasn’t close enough to catch him, and he tumbled, falling off the trail and into a bush. The branches of the bush gave, dumping him onto the soft, wet ground beneath it. Mike tried pushing himself back up, but his fingers passed uselessly through its branches and into the mud beneath.

“Here, let me help.” Zel grabbed his wrist, pulling him out of the bush. “Ah shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked.

“You’re covered in Dragon’s Breath.” Zel flicked a bright red chunk of pollen off of Mike’s arm. “We need to get you washed off as soon as possible.”

“Why? Am I going to catch on fire or something?” Mike shook his head, watching the red dust fall free.

“No, stop!” The crimson pollen blew across the gap between them, settling on Zel. “Shit!”

“I’m sorry.” Mike tried to brush the pollen off of her bare stomach, streaking it across her skin instead. 

“Stop!” Zel grabbed his wrists. “Don’t touch it!”

“Okay, but I…” The thought fled his mind, suddenly distracted by the burning sensation that was coursing along his arm. He tried to rub his arm, but Zel caught his other hand. It suddenly occurred to him how strong she was.

“Don’t touch it, whatever you do.” Zel’s eyes flashed with intensity. “The more you scratch or rub it in, the worse it will burn.”

“Like poison ivy?”

“Poison ivy will make you itch. Dragon’s Breath will make you peel your own skin off to make the burning stop.” Looking around, Zel shook her head. “I don’t have a choice, we both need to clean this off as soon as possible. There’s a place nearby, but on foot it will take us too long to get there. Climb on my back.”

“Wait, what?”

Zel rolled her eyes. “It isn’t like anybody will see us do it, if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t feel like peeling my own skin off today, so I’m going with or without you. I can run way faster than you can.”

“Um, yeah, okay.” He had never been on a horse before, and he didn’t know the protocol for mounting a centaur, but Lily knelt and impatiently yanked him onto her back. Once he was situated, she grabbed his wrists and wrapped them around her waist.

“Do not start scratching,” she warned. Clutching tightly to Mike’s arm, her whole body surged forward. Mike held on for dear life, listening to her hooves pound the dirt of the trail beneath them, doing his best to ignore the burning sensation that was creeping its way along his arms.

-

Beth stood outside of the office, tapping her foot impatiently. She was already going through the options in her mind, ways she could ruin the bastard's day, how she could force the owners to disclose sales. She highly doubted that the information was lost, and the idea of returning to the office with the news that she couldn't even access the site really pissed her off. Even with an incompetent lawyer on their side, the storage company could easily impede progress for weeks.

Movement in the window, and Lily walked out with a large grin on her face and a few sheets of paper.

"As commanded," she said, handing over the forms. "Auction report is fairly useless, the buyer paid cash. I did, however, get a copy of the original inventory and the key to get in. We can see what's missing if you don't mind a little legwork."

"How did you get this?" Beth asked. "He seemed adamant that he wasn't going to give us anything."

Lily winked. "I have my ways. Turns out he went to school with my cousin, had a big crush on her. Ipromised I would bring him up at the next family reunion. C'mon, let's go." Her hips swaying, she walked away, her eyes on a small map in her hands. 

Beth looked back at the office. "Doesn't he have to come with us?"

"He's Facebook stalking my cousin now. Confirming that she's still single." 

Following Lily, Beth looked back. The guy was slumped forward at his desk, his nose practically on the screen. "Must be pretty desperate," Beth said.

"Can confirm. Our unit is toward the middle." The inside of Castle Storage was a small maze of metal storage units, but they ended up at a small building with glass doors. Stepping inside, Beth could feel the temperature immediately drop. The thermostat by the door stated that it was 72 degrees with a humidity of 0%.

"I feel like this building alone is worth more than the castle." Lily ran her fingers along the stark white concrete walls. The marble floor looked like it had been recently polished, the reflected light of the skylights above scattering an eerie glow across the floor. 

"Probably is." Beth checked the room number they wanted. "The castle was built in the 70's. Up until 2004, this place was where the Renaissance Festival used to set up shop. Whole thing fell apart when the guy who owned the land murdered his wife, and a land dispute started between his heirs that lasted a few years. The Festival took their business elsewhere and this parcel got picked up pretty cheap. I just didn't know it had become the world's weirdest storage facility." Turning a corner down the long hall, Beth saw the large door at the end. There were no other rooms in sight. "My parents used to take me when I was little. Had my first drumstick just inside the main entrance. I had forgotten all about this place, actually."

"I find the Renaissance to be far too romanticized for my taste." Lily stopped at the door, handing the key to Beth. "It's like looking at a piece of shit five hundred years later and calling it a candy bar."

"Not a fan?" Beth asked, kneeling to slide the key into the lock.

"I was a history major for a bit. I can assure you it wasn't all tits and turkey legs." Lily crossed her arms. "I'm a little jaded though."

"Your last boyfriend?" Beth asked, removing the lock.

"Yeah. You can say he was very obsessed with the Dark Ages."

"Sounds like a real winner." Beth lifted the cold metal door. The space inside was nowhere near as disorganized as she expected it to be. A large pallet in the middle of the room lifted the belongings off the floor.

"Looks like this will be easier than originally thought," Lily said stepping into the room. Boxes were stacked nicely in rows, allowing the two of them to walk between them with little trouble.

"This could take us hours to inventory. You realize that, right?"

"Maybe not," Lily replied, pointing to a box. Beth saw that a sheet of paper had been carefully taped to the top. It was a list of contents.

"Emily was very organized," Beth said, grateful to see the familiar scrawl on the paper. "For now, we can assume that the boxes haven't been opened, so it's just a matter of going through the original list and checking stuff off."

"Let's get started then." Lily pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "I'll read off the lists if you'll cross them off."

Beth nodded, hiding her smile. Lily was quickly proving to be the best intern ever.

-

Zel made phenomenal time, the cliffs appearing just ahead. A series of waterfalls cascaded down the mushroom-shaped rocks, pooling into a large basin at the bottom. Sliding to a halt, Zel practically ripped Mike off of her back, her arms shaking.

“Get in and wash it off,” she commanded, stripping off her green tunic. Mike didn’t bother arguing-he was already half naked, the urge to scratch driving him out of his mind. Zel had held his hands in place the entire ride, which had proven effective because all he wanted to do was make the burning stop. The Dragon’s Breath had worked its way inside of his clothes, and onto his chest. Shaking off his outer garments, he threw himself into the pool of water.

Relief was immediate. The Dragon’s Breath reacted violently with the water, jumping free of his skin and skidding across the top, steam hissing in every direction. Mike held his breath and dove below, working his fingers through his hair. He could hear the hiss of the pollen over the constant pounding of the waterfall, a sound similar to meat in a skillet.

The surface of the water exploded, a large shape plunging into the depths. Mike surfaced, marveling at the large ripples bouncing off the shore. Seconds later, Zel surfaced, her hair plastered against her head.

“The Dragon’s Breath comes off pretty quickly,” Mike said, watching tiny wisps of steam rise off the surface of the water. 

“Not quite.” Zel lifted her arm to reveal a few red streaks along her forearms. “The top layer comes off pretty quickly, but the bottom layer sticks.” She held up a small cloth. “You need to make sure you scrub it off.”

“Yeah I can—” Mike’s head sank below the water, his limbs going weak beneath him. The bottom was only eight feet deep, but he no longer had the strength in his body. He desperately held onto what little breath he had left, hoping that Zel would realize what had happened. Opening his eyes, he saw her awkward approach, her feet just out of reach of the bottom. She was able to shove him into shallower water, pulling his head above the surface. Mike sucked in air, suddenly aware that his face was once again pinned between her breasts.

“You just can’t help it, can you?” Zel moved closer to the shore, easily holding him up.

“Apparently not.” Mike sighed. “Thanks for saving me.”

“I think letting you drown would make a terrible impression on my new roommates.” Zel helped Mike stand, his strength slowly returning. He held onto her arms, his legs wobbling beneath him.

“You could say that.” Mike stepped away from Zel, suddenly very aware of her. The nipples on both of her breasts were very hard, standing at attention like tiny soldiers. Her hair was plastered against her face and neck, trailing down between her breasts where it clung to her skin. The water obscured her non-human half, and she suddenly appeared more human than ever before.

“Here.” Zel handed him the rag. “Will you make sure I got it all off my skin?”

“Um, yeah.” Taking the rag, he swallowed hard when she lifted her arms, causing her breasts to lift. Using the rag, he scrubbed away at her arms, the red stains fizzing away while he worked them. Zel’s skin turned pink in places, the coarse rag rubbing away the top layer of skin. “How come it doesn’t burn and itch when I’m in the water?” He asked.

“The idea behind Dragon’s Breath is that even when you think you’ve gotten it off, it burrows beneath your skin. Water mitigates the itching effect, but when you dry off, you end up scratching your skin, driving it deeper and deeper until you run out.” Zel turned in the water, revealing her horse rump. “It won’t stick to my fur, but you should still check.”

“Uh…” Mike ran his fingers along the powerful muscles of her backside. “Is it okay that I’m touching you like this?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Zel asked, but Mike noticed that she wouldn’t look at him. He inspected her backside, noticing a tiny red spot about a foot behind her waist, where he had ridden her. He scrubbed the powder off, watching it dissolve in the water. She lifted her hair, and he spotted some on her back. He scrubbed that off too.

“Okay, now your turn.” Zel took the rag from him and went to work. Unfortunately, Mike weighed far less than she did, and he began to bob back and forth in the water. Zel held onto him with one hand while scrubbing with the other, her wet breasts pushing against him. They moved into shallower water as she progressed, gradually exposing his stomach and waist. She found somewhere deep to stand, her breasts bobbing in the water like oversized apples, her nipples periodically breaking the surface to say hello as she washed the remaining dust off of him.

“Uh…” Mike didn’t know what to say when his erection broke the surface of the water. For a couple of minutes, Zel didn’t even notice. However, she moved in close to scrape the rest of a scarlet streak off his hip, and her left breast bounced off of the head of his cock.

“Hmm?” Zel backed up to see what had touched her. It took several seconds for it to sink in, her cheeks slowly growing pink in the process. She stood, her arms out to her sides, frozen in place.

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that.” Mike gave his dick a little push to hide it below the surface of the water. Instead, it popped back up, splashing a small spray of water across Zel’s chest.

“I’ve never seen a human penis before,” Zel said, her voice close to a whisper.

“Oh. Well, this is what it looks like.”

“It’s a lot smaller than a centaur’s penis.”

“You don’t say?” Mike slowly crouched in the water, his cheeks burning.

“Wait. Can I see it?” Zel’s cheeks were still pink, but he could see the spark of curiosity in her eyes. 

“Well, I guess so.” Mike stood again, his cock displaying itself proudly.

“I’m surprised you can even get it up after the Mandragora.” Zel wrapped her fingers around the head of his shaft, her thumb teasing the slit on accident. “Oh, and it feels so warm!”

“Yeah, well, I sort of swapped soul pieces with a nymph. It’s kind of like a lame super-power, you know, able to get an erection whenever.”

“Interesting.” She gave his cock a squeeze. “Am I the reason it’s like this?”

Mike stared at her in disbelief. “Uh, yeah! You have an amazing body!”

“You mean my upper half.” Zel sounded disappointed, but he couldn’t help but notice that she was still gently squeezing his penis. She gave his shaft a few good strokes, and was rewarded with a small dollop of pre-cum at the tip.

“Well, that’s all I can see right now. Not that I find your lower half gross or anything, it’s just that you look so pretty all wet and everything.” Mike wanted to roll his eyes at himself, at how stupid he sounded. He was getting all flustered.

“Really?” Her eyes locked on his. “You think my human half is pretty?”

“I do.”

Zel tossed the rag onto a rock by the shore, where it landed with a loud smacking sound. Using her free hand, she squeezed her breast, rolling the tip of her nipple between her thumb and forefinger. “Do you like it when I do this?”

“Yeah.” Mike felt his IQ drop by another ten points.

“What about this?” She let go of his dick, pressing her breasts together for him. They jiggled quite nicely in her hands, her wet breasts swaying back and forth like a pendulum. He couldn’t help but stare as she played with them, couldn’t help but stroke himself in time to the beat of her breasts. He sighed, running one hand over his balls.

“Mm-hmm.” Mike nodded, his eyes finding hers again.

“I wonder.” Zel moved closer to him, lowering her torso to the water’s edge. “May I?” She asked, taking his dick in her hands.

“All yours,” he said, letting her take the lead. She gave his dick a few gentle tugs, running both hands down to his scrotum, exploring the way his skin stretched and unfolded. Her touch was largely clinical at first, Zel commanding him to rise up out of the water so that she could see it better. He wondered what she was thinking when she pressed her breasts against him, using her hands to push them together. They fit perfectly around his cock, a large, fleshy vagina that she began moving up and down his shaft.

“That feels nice,” he told her.

“I bet we can make it feel even better,” she said, releasing him. “Go sit on that rock.”

Mike looked at where she was pointing. He climbed out of the water, sitting on the rock that was just beneath the water’s surface. Zel approached the shore where she had left her saddle bags, pulling a small vial out of one of the pouches.

“What’s in there?” Mike asked. Zel winked at him, dribbling the fluid across her chest, pushing her breasts together once more to distribute it evenly.

“My love life for the last ten years,” she told him, licking the fluid off her fingers. “It’s a plant-based lubricant. Easily washes off with water, but stays slippery otherwise.”

“You carry lube on you?”

“Ever since the incident with that tree,” she said, pushing her breasts against him. His dick slid in easily, suddenly assaulted by a warm, tingly sensation. “I carry a small vial, just in case.”

“Oh!” Zel was working her breasts up and down now, the sensation of her skin pressed against his cock from both sides amplified by the lubricant. He stared at her in wonder, watching his dick expand just a little bit more beneath her ministrations. “That feels really good!”

“I’m glad. It is my first time doing this.” She pushed her torso down, and Mike’s cock came up to her nose.

“There’s a way to do it even better,” Mike said.

“Tell me.” Zel was staring at his cock now, entranced at the sight of his glans disappearing and reappearing between her breasts.

“Use your mouth too.”

“That makes sense.” Opening her mouth, she pushed down on him, the head of his shaft passing gently between her lips. “‘Ike dis?”

“That’s a great start,” Mike told her, grabbing the sides of her breasts. She bounced up and down, the head of his dick moving along the top of her tongue. Her inexperience showed, but Mike found it an incredible turn on, his balls tightening up and then relaxing.

Zel bobbed her head up and down even faster, struggling to take him much deeper than just the head of his cock. Her hands were slippery with lube now, and she released her breasts, using her hands on the base of his shaft, twisting them gently as she stroked him, starting at the top and moving down. One hand gripped him tightly, causing a small surge inside his body, and the other hand moved even farther down.

“What are you doing?” Mike asked, Zel’s fingers teasing the skin behind his scrotum. She popped her mouth free, the sudden coolness of the air around him sending chills up his spine.

“I may have never done this before, but I do know a few things about the male anatomy,” she explained, her slippery fingers now circling his anus. Mike shuddered at how good it felt, marveling at the warm sensations that were now coming from behind his pelvis. “Lay down. Put your legs up.”

“Holy shit,” he whispered, Zel taking him back into her mouth. Pumping him gently with her left hand, her right hand slid beneath his ass, one finger putting gentle pressure on his asshole.

“Mmm,” Zel moaned, sending vibrations down his shaft. Mike shifted his hips, pushing up into her lips. Beneath him, she slightly bent her finger, allowing him to ease himself down onto it. The tingling sensation in his anus sent warmth through his entire body, and Zel continued pumping him, letting him take the lead. The sun was creeping dangerously low to the edge of the cliff, dusk quickly approaching, but Mike figured the others would be pissed whether he showed up now or in an hour.

“You’re doing so good,” Zel told him, licking the head of his cock. “I can’t wait to taste your cum.”

“Really?” Mike asked, trying hard not to tense up. Zel’s finger was now fully inside of him, and she found his prostate, rubbing it gently through the thin wall of his ass.

“Oh yeah. I’ve always wondered what a man’s cum would look like, what it would feel like.” She stroked him faster now, occasionally pressing her breasts against him, then sucking him into her mouth. “I’ve never been so close to a human before, and I want to know everything about you.”

“Why?” Mike asked, but Zel didn’t answer. She was staring hungrily at his cock, licking her lips before sucking him back into her mouth again, her right hand moving slowly, her finger massaging his prostate in such a way that he felt like a fire had been stoked in his belly. His cock contracted several times like he was going to cum, but her gentle presses pulled him back from the brink.

“I bet it tastes like sweat, and wood, and iron…” Zel mumbled to herself, her face growing bright red. The water behind her was churning, and Mike tilted his head to see what she was doing. She had found a large boulder beneath the water at just the right height that she was rubbing her ass across it, her tail making lazy sweeps in the water.

“Zel,” he whispered, the fire growing inside him. Zel’s face was now bright red, her eyes closed tight while she bobbed up and down on his cock. Smiling, Mike put his hand over hers, and she opened her eyes in surprise when he showed her how to stroke his dick properly. Immediately, he felt the pressure building, each time only to be chased off by her finger in his ass.

“How are you so good at this?” Mike asked.

“A good healer knows… how… to…” Zel’s eyes squeezed shut, and he water behind her exploded, her lower half kicking wildly. Zel let out a throaty moan, putting her mouth over his dick, and Mike felt a sudden expansion from beneath as Zel worked a second finger just inside his ass.

“Oh fuuuuuuuck!” Mike came, and Zel’s cheeks bulged with semen. She pulled her mouth away and jacked him off onto her tits, pushing gently upward with her finger. Thick, creamy ropes of white covered her chest, and she let out a moan of delight in seeing how much he had produced. Mike fell back on the rock, and Zel slowly slid her finger out of his ass.

“That was really good,” Mike told her, his body going limp again. At least he wasn’t going to drown this time. Turning his head, he watched Zel climb free of the water. “What are you doing?”

Zel withdrew an empty glass vial from one of her bags. Sticking it to her lips, she filled the vessel with Mike’s cum. She did this with two more vessels before sticking her tongue out at him to reveal that her mouth was empty.

“I swallowed quite a bit of it,” she told him, grabbing another vial. She carefully collected what he had sprayed across her chest.

“Seriously, what are you doing?” Mike asked again.

“Everything in nature has special properties, no matter how small. In a way, your life force is in your semen.”

“I’m familiar with this,” Mike said, thinking back to when Abella had fucked him to recover her energy.

“Your life force is also tied to a nymph. I want to analyze what you produced, see how I can use it in my potions.” Zel froze in place, suddenly aware of what she had said. “Oh, Mike, I’m sorry. Only with your permission. Say the word, and I will dump all of these out. I’ve been so alone out here, I forget what it’s like to be around others.”

Mike laughed. “You know what? It’s fine, as long as it never gets used against me or anything like that.” Breathing heavily, Mike stared at the sky. It didn’t bother him at all.

-

"Okay, so what's the damage?" Lily set the last box back in place. Between the two of them, it had been nearly two hours of Lily lifting boxes aside to read their contents while Beth crossed them off. Currently, Beth was trusting that the boxes hadn't been opened, mainly due to the fact that they had been sealed up extra tight with duct tape that had strange letters written across portions of it. She thought they were initials at first, but closer inspection made her think of Hebrew, or something similar.

"It's so weird," Beth said. "When I look at the stuff that's missing, it's nothing interesting. None of these boxes contains anything of actual value. Just random knick knacks. If anything, it looks like we are only missing maybe two boxes of items. Unless these things are antiques or something, I can't imagine the financial loss is that great." Beth turned the paper over. "Well, unless you count the missing grandfather clock."

"Missing clock?" Lily undid her ponytail, her dark hair flowing freely across her shoulders.

"Yeah. An old grandfather clock. I don't see it. However..." Beth stood on the corner of the pallet. "I imagine it was right here. You can see the gap where they didn't stack anything."

"That's weird. From everything I saw, there was no mention of selling a clock. Just those boxes."

"Well, that's something for their lawyers to figure out. After all, clocks don't just get up and walk away." Beth stuck the papers in her briefcase, which was open on a stack of boxes. She closed it, sliding the locks into place. "This could have been way more work for me. Thanks for all your help."

"Thanks for letting me tag along." They walked out of the storage unit together, Beth pulling the door down and then locking it. "I don't know about you, but I am famished. Lunch isn't holding me over like I thought it would."

"I doubt there's anything nearby," Lily said, her shoes clicking on the hard floor beneath them. They walked back into the sun's light, squinting at the sudden brightness. Walking past the office, Beth saw that the worker was fast asleep at his desk.

"Such a hard worker," she said.

"Hope he's having good dreams." Lily said, a smirk crossing her face. They got into Beth's car, and Beth pulled out of the dirt lot and back onto the main road. They drove largely in silence, occasional small talk breaking up the trip. Beth pulled into the drive thru of a local burger joint, requesting extra fry sauce for Lily to eat. The miles were swallowed up behind them until they found themselves back in the city. Beth dropped Lily off at the parking garage, noticing that the town car was gone. 

"See you tomorrow?" Beth asked. Lily winked, stepping out of the car and walking across the lot. Beth watched her disappear behind a concrete pillar, marveling at how helpful her new intern had already proven to be.

-

Navigating the cliff path took some effort, but Mike and Zel finally arrived at the door to the greenhouse. Standing before the giant wall of glass, Zel stared up into the sky, her eyes round in wonder.

“I never thought about how it would feel to leave this place,” Zel said, lowering her gaze to the door. “I debated trying to sneak out a few times, but the human world is cruel to my kind, and I had nowhere else to go.”

“Why didn’t you bust out and speak to Emily?” Mike asked. “I’m sure she would have let you stay.”

“Maybe.” Zel admitted. “My aunt warned me that if I did, it was my one shot at survival. If Emily said no, I was out on my own with nobody to help me. Emily wasn’t exactly known for her kindness to strangers, especially among my tribe.”

“What did they say about her?” Mike asked.

“Recluse. Homebody. Murderer.” Zel shrugged, her breasts rippling through her tunic. “She seemed okay when we met her, but very guarded. Didn’t let us anywhere near the house.”

Mike moved to stand in front of Zel. “So here’s the deal. Be honest with everybody when you meet them. Tell them why you want to move in with us.”

“I’m lonely. I have nobody else. I want to fit in.” Zel’s eyes shimmered with tears. “You don’t think they’ll tell me no, do you?”

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem. We do have to talk to Naia first.” Mike appraised the centaur, listening literally to his gut. Naia had imbued him with a danger sense that often came far too late, one that he felt in his stomach as an icy spear of pain. For now, his stomach was silent.

Zel took a deep breath, running her hands across her stomach. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little worried. I don’t know what I’ll do if you make me go back.”

“I think you’re good to stay. Like I said, I want to run it by Naia first, simply because she knows the house better than I do.” Mike opened the door. “And if that doesn’t work, you’re always welcome to stay in the greenhouse and come visit. It isn’t like you haven’t already lived here for a decade. Maybe we can redo the garage, make it a living space for you.”

Nodding, Zel stepped through the portal onto the darkened lawn of the house. Mike followed from behind, closing the greenhouse door.

“Hello,” he called, expecting someone to be waiting for him. Strangely, the house was silent. “I was supposed to be back hours ago,” he explained, walking across the lawn. Zel followed in silence, her eyes fixed on the house like it would reach out and snap her up.

“Tink? Abella?” Coming around the corner into the garden, he saw Naia lying in the fountain, blue and green strands of hair spread across the surface of the water like seaweed.

“There you are!” Naia sat up, the water of the fountain parting to let Mike in without getting his feet wet. Naia pulled him in for a tight embrace, “You were supposed to come back forever ago!”

“Sorry about that, I ran into some trouble.” Mike stepped aside, gesturing at the centaur behind him. “Naia, this is Zel. I found her living in the woods of the greenhouse. She asked if she could move in, and I said I would have to check with you.”

“It’s your call, lover, but we have some more important problems to deal with. You need to go see Cecilia, right away!” Naia performed a curtsy for Zel. “It’s very nice to meet you, but we’ll have time for proper introductions later. You can stay back here – in fact, I insist on it.”

Puzzled, Mike waved farewell to Zel and walked in the back door. “Tink? I’m home!” Surprised when the goblin didn’t emerge, he walked through the front door, stepping onto the porch.

“It’s about time,” Cecilia hissed, appearing next to him. The air was immediately cold, but that wasn’t what Mike noticed. Standing in the middle of his yard was a black woman in a bright white suit..

“What the actual fuck?” Mike started to walk forward, but Cecilia placed a hand on his chest.

“She’s been standing out here all day,” Cecilia said. “She’s one of them.”

 “Mr. Radley.” The woman’s voice was deep and soulful. “Such a pleasure to meet you. My name is Kali. I am a member of the Society, and I have come to you with a very limited time offer.”

“Zero fucks given lady. This is private property and I insist – “ Mike’s foot was almost on the ground beneath his porch when it erupted. Dozens of snakes broke through the soil, fangs bared at him. He back pedaled onto the porch, staring at the writhing bodies in his front yard. His hand went to the bag on his belt. “Sweet facing Jesus!”

“The Geas of this home is quite strong, the strongest I have ever encountered,” Kali informed him, waving her hands slowly through the air. Shadows trailed behind her fingertips, shadows that fell to the ground and squirmed beneath her. “I will learn much by finding a way to break it. Unless, of course, you would like to discuss terms?”

“You need to find Tink,” Cecilia said, helping him to stand. “She knows how to activate the defenses, she used to do it for Emily when she wasn’t home.”

“The house has defenses?” Staring out at the half naked woman on his lawn, he shivered. She was chanting quietly in a language he didn’t understand, more shadows dripping from her fingers to encircle the house. “And where is Tink? Or Abella?” Mike imagined the gargoyle could crush Kali easily beneath her weight.

Cecilia fixed him with a scowl. “Sofia gave you a fool’s errand. She convinced Tink and Abella to help her in the Labyrinth while you were gone in order to keep you safe. They left shortly after you did. I wanted to come after you, but this bitch showed up.”

“They what?!?” Mike cast a glance in Kali’s direction. The shadows and snakes were gone, but the woman’s sinister smile remained, sending a chill up his spine.

“The offer is only good until I find a way in,” Kali informed him. “Make no mistake. I will tear your entire world apart when I do.” Raising her fist, she pantomimed knocking on a door. Mike watched in astonishment as green light rippled away from her, traveling along a giant invisible sphere that surrounded the home.

Mike contemplated the woman on his front lawn for several moments. Without the others, how could he hope to protect the house? To protect them? Storming back inside, he did his best not to slam the door behind him.

“What should we do?” Cecilia asked, passing through the front wall, lines of worry on her face.

Mike ignored her, stamping his way up the stairs. He walked into the room at the end of the hall, the room with the closet door that opened to another world. He could see the scuff marks in the wood from Abella’s careful footsteps, saw that the door of the closet was still open. Reaching into the bag, he grabbed the knife tightly as he rounded the corner and promptly smashed his face against the back of the closet wall.

“Fuck!” Mike’s nose was gushing blood all over his shirt. He had expected the portal to still be open. Stumbling back out of the room, he ran past Cecilia at the bottom of the stairs and into the kitchen. The maps had all been taken, and there were no instructions left behind for how to open the portal to the cave.

“Fuck!” Mike screamed at the table, spraying blood everywhere. Cecilia was where he had left her in the front room, waiting patiently for him. He beckoned her to follow, stepping onto the back patio. Zel and Naia were deep in conversation when they saw Mike’s face.

“It’s bad,” Naia said, reading the look on his face.

“Yeah, it is.” Mike approached the fountain, one hand pinching his nostrils shut. Zel stepped forward, applying a powder to his face that stung like a faceful of bees, but stopped the bleeding.

“What do we do?” Naia asked. Zel, who had no idea what was going on, stood quietly to the side.

“If they aren’t back by morning, then something must have happened. They were going down there to fight a fucking Minotaur, and that shouldn’t have taken them all afternoon. What was Sofia thinking?” Mike looked at the bedroom window of the second floor. “What were any of them thinking?”

“They were thinking of protecting you,” Naia told him, summoning a sphere of water to clean his face. “But that’s not what is important. If they aren’t back by morning, what then?”

“Then I go after them,” Mike said, a dark look crossing his face.

“But you don’t know how to open the cave,” Naia told him.

“You’re right, I don’t.” Mike pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing gently up and down. “But I know someone who does.”

-

Beth tossed her briefcase on the counter, pausing in her kitchen long enough to grab herself a glass of wine. Stripping out of her clothes, she greedily swallowed the contents of her glass, smiling at the soccer field outside of her apartment. Tonight, a swarm of red and black moved back and forth on the field, the enthusiastic crowd somehow cheering her up. They had figured out what was missing, and now the next step would be to visit with Mike. She used her phone to send an email, asking when would be a good time to stop by.

Sliding into a pair of panties and a nightgown, she brushed her teeth, hoping to rid her mouth of the aftertaste of wine. The cheap stuff was good, but left a nasty aftertaste. Feeling like her luck was looking up, she wandered over to her closet, pulling out a small briefcase hidden within.

Her phone dinged. Standing up, she walked to her nightstand to check. Mike had already replied.

Tomorrow morning would be great, he wrote. The sooner, the better!

“Some other time then,” Beth said, pushing the briefcase with some regret to the back of her closet. She would have to get off some other day. Closing the closet door, her eyes slid sideways to the mirror that faced her bed. He sat on the end of her bed, leaning forward and bracing his weight on his cane. 

“I’m afraid you’re about to become a victim of circumstance,” Sebastien told her. Beth spun on one foot, a scream building in her throat. Sebastien stood, placing the tip of his cane in the middle of her chest and giving her a push. Beth fell backwards into the mirror, expecting her world to become bathed in broken glass. Instead, the mirror cushioned her impact, the softened surface gripping her like a thick glue.

“What is happening?” Beth asked, her body slowly sinking into the mirrored surface. She struggled to break free, but that only sped up the process.

“You’re about to become my ticket into the Radley home,” Sebastien said. His face twisted into a sneer, and he pushed her even harder. Her stomach flopped, the gravity of the room shifting. Even though she was standing, she felt like she was on her back, and her one free hand reached out to grab something, anything. Behind him, a lump was forming beneath the covers of her bed, an unseen figure slowly sitting up.“I’m afraid that I can’t have anybody finding your body.”

“I don’t understand!” The silvery liquid clung to her skin, working its way up over her face. The figure on the bed now sat upright, the blankets sliding away to reveal a mass of blank flesh. Its skin rippling like water, Beth watched in horror as the thing on her bed opened its mouth and took a deep breath. Breasts formed beneath its chest, and hair grew down to its shoulders. The thing on the bed stood, slender legs forming beneath it. It stuck one hip out, its horrible face settling into a shape that was instantly familiar, yet strange. The scream in Beth’s throat froze when she saw that the thing had become her.

“I don’t care to explain it. Through the looking glass with you.” With one final shove, Sebastien pushed her through. The world around her popped, and Beth was falling, the mirror above fading into the distance as she tumbled down the rabbit hole. Throwing out her arms, she was able to stabilize herself, her rapid descent slowing. Somewhere far beneath her was a soft red light, her destination slowly growing larger. The walls of the tunnel slowly opened up around her, its surface lit by the glow beneath.

“This has to be a dream,” she said, unable to convince herself. The warm rush of air across her legs and face was far too real. Perhaps she had fallen into a drunken slumber, and this was a type of fever dream? The stress of her week must have finally gotten to her, and seeing that creepy lawyer was her brain tossing detail into this bizarre fantasy.

She had plenty of time to contemplate these things as she fell.